#starbladejack

bruising the sun (9830 words)

Chapters: 1/1

Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, The Transformers (IDW Generation One)

Rating: T

Pairing: Starscream/Wheeljack/Windblade

Warnings: emotional invalidation, references to past plug-n-play Gone Wrong

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Wheeljack doesn't catch onto the fact that he's being kidnapped for about a day or so.

It just doesn't really come up!

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THERE HE IS!!!!!

First impression: I can’t actually remember a time when I wasn’t at least aware of what Starscream was? Even before I consumed transformers content. I think that for a while I wasn’t sure what the appeal was, like yeah, okay, I kind of get it, but why do so many people like him so much??

Current impression: Oh my god, he’s such an asshole, but he’s got so much potential, and (in idw at least) he’s trying SO HARD, but he also poisoned the well so very hard before he tried to turn over a new leaf. He’s fucked up enough to completely isolate himself, but he’s also been through some serious shit, and even if it’s a combination of his own actions and other people’s actions, it’s so painful and tragic to watch him struggle to tread water knowing that most people in canon will... just watch him struggle. And if he ever does sink beneath the waves, knowing that he doesn’t have any kind of safety net he can trust. I’ve very rarely been so anxious over a character’s future as I’ve been when it comes to him, and I want him to find stability/happiness so badly.

Favorite moment: AAAAA, oh man, okay. Two main contenders. Which go together. First, spotlight: megatron. When he’s just so... shattered. And then Megatron keeps punching. The bit where Starscream is like ‘just end it already’ and Megatron is like ‘nah.’ Megatron pounding his face into the rocks. The whole thing. It wrecks me. And then, in Windblade’s mind. When he comes for her, and Vigilem is waiting. Vigilem taps into those memories of Megatron and takes him apart so easily. And even though Starscream has done so much to drive away everyone who might support him, Windblade still saves and protects him. She’s got every reason to hate him, every reason to oppose him, but at that moment, she still puts herself at risk on his behalf and openly acknowledges things about him worth valuing. I’m not doing that scene justice, but I love it so much.

Idea for a story: I still want to write a sequel to the vigilem mind-meld fic I wrote, where vigilem reenacts spotlight: megatron, merged with starscream’s coronation, in front of windblade. At the end of the story, they’ve each got half of Vigilem split across their brains, and Windblade has had a front-row seat to some of Starscream’s most painful memories. He’s got every reason to react violently/murderously to someone with that kind of leverage over him and a hostile titan in her brain, but he’s also had an involuntary front-row seat to seeing her very genuine, supportive intentions. And Vigilem is fucking with both their heads, so he’s going to derail any ideas about killing Windblade, but still :P I want them navigating the complicated political world they’re dealing with when they’re both compromised with a hostile(?) presence in their minds on top of everything else. Starscream won’t communicate his vulnerabilities unless he’s absolutely forced to, and...he was absolutely forced to :P The situation is therefore ideal (for me)

Unpopular opinion: God, I’m so bad at this question. I mean, I think starblade in general is kind of an unpopular opinion, but I’m really picky about the dynamic I want for it. It doesn’t feel right for Starscream unless it’s prickly and combative and it’s a struggle to work things around to an even slightly trusting place. He’s used to megatron digging into vulnerabilities and twisting, so I’m most drawn to ships where he’s with someone gentle and easygoing where the feeling of ‘safety’ is so persistent that he eventually starts believing it (wheeljack), or ships with someone who will fight him endlessly, on any front, but who always, always pulls up short of real fighting, or real attacks, and never fights with the intention of hurting (windblade). I mean, it’s pitchrom. I know there’s starblade out there where the softness comes so easily I think would feel uncomfortable to me given their canon dynamic. But I know there’s an annoying number of people who are like ‘bluh bluh any starblade is abuse apology’, and I’m just glad I don’t encounter them in the wild very often.

Favorite relationship: ......................starbladejack :V I mean, I’ve got my verse, I’m working on a fic for that verse in another tab right now, I’m pretty darn invested in this. I get starscream the softness I want him to have, and I get someone for him to fight with who keeps not hurting him, and who’d be horrified to know the details of his past that have him so reluctant initially to let things with her go anywhere. I’ve got this silly fic I’m working on, then maybe one more nothing fic to advance character, then I get to write a big plot-oriented story that really underscores why wheeljack and windblade are both valuable parts of starscream’s life and how they sincerely care and don’t plan to betray his trust.

The ot3!

notp / not really / meh / I could / sometimes / maker, yes / my otp babbies

Who is the most affectionate?

Ahhhh. Hmm. Define affectionate! Starscream is the most tactile, Windblade is the most open and expressive about her emotions, and Wheeljack is the most attentive and receptive. They’ve all got very different languages of affection, which is the most fun thing to write!

Big spoon/Little spoon?

It’s Wheeljack in the middle, all the way. It’s going to be amazing, I’ve already laid some groundwork for wings getting in the way and being difficult to maneuver around, and Wheeljack is about to be smothered by two winged partners caught in the throes of passionate pitchrom. All Wheeljack wants is to sleep. They’re both asleep. Why haven’t they stopped trying to kick each other over him.

Most common argument?

Thhhppbbbt. I dislike this question :T How about the most common is Windblade and Starscream, on the basis of ‘I see a point where I can disagree with you just to be annoying’

Favorite non-sexual activity?

Together or solo? This is also still a difficult question. Starscream likes just being in physical contact while he does whatever other thing. Wheeljack, I… don’t know. He’s a tough character to crack :P Windblade gets antsy if she goes too long without doing something creative, though she’s happy to do that in company, as long as you don’t expect her to give you much attention (starscream wants attention always and 5ever, but that just makes it that much more satisfying when she manages to ignore him).

Who worries the most?

STARSCREAM. Starscream is a mess. A messy mess. Wheeljack and Windblade are stressed and stretched a bit thin, but it’s nothing compared to Starscream.

Who tops doms?

Windblade is at the top of the dom pile, hahaha. She’s inexperienced, but enthusiastic! Some of my Starscreams are more switchy or dommy, but this one is mostly like ‘DOTE ON ME.’ He’ll fight back against Windblade, but it’s more because it’s satisfying to make her work for it before he gives in. Wheeljack is more switchy, and he’s more inclined to adapt himself to what his partner seems to be signalling him for. He’ll help Windblade along with figuring out the dom thing on a partner who’s more accommodating than Starscream, or he’ll co-dom Starscream with her. He’ll dom her if she asks, and Starscream will probably want to dom him at some point, plus I really want to get the relationship far enough forward that he can dom Windblade in the kind of admiring/praise/etc way she likes doing to him. All of which I hope to someday write. Ngl, most of my characters are switches on some level because I am all about that self-indulgence :P

Who initiates kisses?

Starscream is the most shameless about it, but Windblade will be plenty forward herself once she gets more comfortable. Basically anything tactile, as long as Starscream feels like it isn’t going to be turned on him somehow, he is there.

Who wakes up first?

Also Starscream. He’s got some Issues in this series, and sleep is definitely one of them.

Who says I love you first?

Ahhhhh, thank you so much! And man, I really want to get to that point, as soon as possible, but I'm making trouble for myself and pondering some heavy-duty stuff that I'd want to write first, and I've just... totally psyched myself into a deadlock :p I just need to snap myself out of it and start WRITING, but I haven't gotten my act together yet.

My trouble is that pretty much as soon as I round out the ship, I'll be good going back and inserting new stories into the series out of order, if that's what makes the most sense. But before I can do that, I have a few chronological plot points that I want to hit first, so that characterization is consistent, and then some character development points to hit so that the plot stuff makes sense :pppp

The three critical plot elements are 1) the LL paying a visit to Cybertron, 2) titans/combaticons? and 3) wheeljack making another attempt at a sleepover on earth.

Before the LL visit happens, I need to establish as much trust as possible between Starscream and Windblade/Wheeljack, but especially Windblade. I need to iron out a lot of the uncertainty on her end of the relationship and the wariness on his end. It's not going to be ALL gone, because that's not how Starscream works, but I want them... at a point where he'll lean on her at least half-unconsciously, instead of like he's gingerly testing floorboards to see when they'll break. From a practical standpoint, it's harder for me to demonstrate the way that trust grows than it is to show the starjack dynamic steadying out and strengthening. But this story is one where they both need to care enough to be dragged out of petty slapfight mode into genuine high-stakes worry for each other. And the starjack dynamic needs to be STRONK, because it's going to be... stressed.

So that one is mostly character driven! I can DO that.

The massive logistic sticking point is me considering addressing the titan invasion and combaticon situation in this universe. I haven't decided yet if I'd HAVE to write this before rounding out the ship, or if i can leave it until later and have it be the first massive test of the quartet as a unit. I can't tell if I'd be complicating things too much for myself if i did that, though. I can see the beats I'd want to hit for starbladejack, but every one of my character things I try to preserve, the more complicated the writing gets XD What I really need to do is noodle about this at my friends and decide whether or not i CAN delay it reasonably. It would be my preference, I think, but i still need to make a call on whether it's feasible.

So that delay is allll plot. I can do character stuff just fine, but plot intimidates me XD

And finally! The second sleepover! This is going to be the easiest piece of the puzzle. I know most of the beats I want to hit, I've had this story in mind for years, I just need to make sure lots of little pieces are in place. That's low stakes, it's a lot of... background players who aren't on-screen most of the time. I need to figure out who's been doing what and feeling what. But I don't want to pin that down until after the LL fic plays out at the very least, which means I'm stuck until i get my butt in gear and write the things I've been putting off.

OKAY. I’ve been meaning to catch up on the last few asks from this meme for an embarrassingly long time now, but I am always a sucker for talking about my own writing, so HERE WE GO. Three posts.

SO. Starbladejack, first! 

4. If you could change anything in [title], what would it be?

Oh, you know what? I was thinking that this would be hard to answer since this is a series of shorter fics where the future is open for me to play with, but I do have something for this. When I started the series, I didn’t even think about EM fields. Maybe at the time I didn’t completely see the appeal? But I didn’t put it in there, and it could have been delicious.

It would have complicated some things, like when Starscream is deliberately not communicating and Windblade is getting upset and confused, but I could have still made it work. Actually, I can pinpoint the moment I decided I wanted to add fields in my longer shippy series, because that’s when it got added to the starclonus :V But I only added it there because I thought of a good plot-enhancing reason to do it (modern cybertronians have stopped using their fields period, because war, so it’s a jarring lack of an expected social signal to the colonists and cyclonus). So I can still work without this, but it would have been interesting in some ways to have it as an extra option in the story. Oh well! Still plenty of room to play in

7. Who was your favorite character to write in [title]?

Hm. HMMM. This is really tricky. Because Starscream is the character I circle around to more than anyone else. And Windblade’s voice is deliciously easy to find. But I kind of want to say Wheeljack? He’s so easygoing and nice and considerate and chill, and I like... never thought this would be a thing, but he’s by FAR the easiest person to write in the story, and gives me the most flexibility in what I do with him. And it’s not just easy, it’s really soothing and enjoyable to work with him, even in situations like the sleepover fic. He’s just! So good!!!

(but also a baby shout-out to jazz, because the two scenes he’s shown up in where delightful to write in the fics in question. i don’t get to play with him enough, and i love working with him)

9. Which idea came to you first in [title]?

Oh wow. I... cannot vouch for the accuracy of this answer, because I will noodle on about ideas for ages and ages given even half an opportunity, and this series started a while ago.

I want to say... I was talking about the awesome aspects of various starscream ships, and also talking about how quadrants are amazing and should be applied to every fandom ever. So Starjack came up as a wonderful palerom, starblade came up as classic pitchrom, and the por que no los dos? And oh man, if both, then ASHEN ROMANCE!

Ahhh, this fic!! I was just regretting not getting to write about it in my last answer, this is perfect XD

7. Who was your favorite character to write in Like The Morning Sun?

Starscream. Oh my god, this Starscream. I... have a Starscream problem. I keep circling back around to him in my writing, and I come at him from a lot of different angles, but he’s almost always hiding some kind of damage (with varying amounts of success), and this was the softest opportunity I’ve had to push through that. In the rodistar verse, he breaks the facade himself, to ask if Megatron is doing the same things that hurt him. In the starclonus, he’s just doing... too badly to hide it. In the starblast, he and blast off are in a mutually assured destruction death spiral. 

But here!! Okay, this is going to focus largely on the first fic, because that lays the foundation for everything that follows. I got to write Starscream where from the very beginning, he wants so badly to trust Wheeljack and be close to him and be affectionate, and equally important, longing to have Wheeljack feel that same way about him. Writing Starscream cracking in here was so gentle, because he’s so lonely and he likes Wheeljack a lot, and Wheeljack has noticed that Starscream is struggling, so from the START he makes a point of trying to handle Starscream with care. 

And I could write Starscream being willing to fite god forever, but writing him trying to deal with gentleness and compassion? AAAAAAAA, it KILLED me. Kills me. I’m... maybe contemplating the next starjack-centric installment in that series right now :V I characterize Starscream as being... very self-sufficient in some ways, but very needy in other, contradictory ways. He’s so incredibly appealing to me in this scenario, because it’s my setting where he’s least able to convince himself that he has to keep things shut away, and has to keep his defenses up. 

He wants to trust and open up, and it’s so difficult for him to maintain the self-preservation paranoia in the face of how good Wheeljack is to him. And Wheeljack is very good, but it’s not like the starclonus, where they’re set up to enter a dangerously codependent trust together, Wheeljack has a good grasp of boundaries and when to say no, but he does it while being so consistently considerate that Starscream is never able to hold onto the paranoia.

which raises the question of what might happen if wheeljack hides something from him eventually but shhh i don’t even have the whole plot pinned down yet and i need to hit other story beats first

But yes, I love writing angry-at-the-universe Starscream, but I adored having a chance to write him in a situation where he was cornered into accepting kindness, and admitting that’s what he wants. It was really, really rewarding to write that fic. And then getting to expand on it, to where he can be play-fight with someone without the tension of waiting for the shoe to drop and it becoming an ACTUAL fight, oh my goodness. I’m going to get to write the softest domming EVER in the future, and I am so incredibly stoked.

Oh god, I talk forever, I’m so sorry XD

9. Which idea came to you first in Like The Morning Sun?

That is an excellent question!! I think the general concept was established in terms of ‘but how can I get these couples to hook up’ and ‘what if the couples... both hooked up....’ and the drunk and painfully lonely conversation was an early image, but... I know this was one of the few times I wrote a piece out of sequence. I’d been shrieking about the model jet you see in Starscream’s room in the comics, and oooh it’s an earth plane is that him and what if he got it on earth and if he did then he must have had it for ages before coming back to cybertron--

Which naturally led to well, if he had it since leaving earth, he had it during spotlight: megatron. And he... did not come out of spotlight: megatron terribly intact. He got broken in all sorts of emotional and physical ways there, and still pulled himself together enough to become leader of Cybertron after the planet was rebuilt. And has a little model of himself that’s... just a stupid toy, he doesn’t actually care about it but yes you can stop looking at it now okay just leave it alone and don’t touch it--

So I wrote the bit where he snatches it out of Wheeljack’s hands and says the line about ‘I’m allowed to have it’. Which I followed up with the bit about ‘oooh megatron we smelted down the casualties to build a statue of you hope you don’t already have one~ but he did. he had so many.’ Because that defuses the angst a little, doesn’t let things hit too far on the nose, and then gives some extra context for why the plane is important as something for him. And it’s not until the sequel that Windblade notices that the plane was broken and very carefully repaired, and her origami models of Starscream are deliberately relevant to that, but the whole ‘images of himself’ story element that’s a lovely balance between vanity and vulnerability, and was always one of the first established images I had going into this verse.

10. What are some facts readers may not know about Like The Morning Sun?

HMMMMMM. I’m not sure. I’ve got idea things for the series in general? Things I still have to write for the future, because there is going to be some gradual long-term plot. Not with an end in sight, but...development. And some of this is Spoilers, but some I’m totally up for sharing :D

It was always a planned element that the central triad would play some with other characters. I love having an alien culture where this can just... casually be a Thing without anyone feeling the need to comment on it, but these stories are largely outside the Plot part of the series. I’m in the middle of KOBD+starblade right now, which has been turning out SO cute. I’m just as things go from social to sexy, and with four people in the mix I want to write that when I’m really on point and can focus, so it’s on hold but near the top of my queue.

One of the earliest ideas (originally it was going to be like... fic #4, lmao, that’s not even going to be close) was for starscream and windblade to play with elita. I don’t know if this will still happen, because even as far as self-indulgent contrivances go, it’s faaaairly contrived, but STILL. Which would actually be a fic tying back to character, and Starscream’s past Issues with tall, severe, harsh monochome leader-types. Which is important, because he’s keeping as much of the ugly parts of his history secret from Wheeljack as he can, but he’s keeping even MORE of it secret from Windblade. Wheeljack at least has a pretty good idea that something bad happened, but Windblade is a lot more naive about that stuff. 

Speaking of which! At some point, Megatron is going to pay a visit. Probably most of the LL officers, for [bluh bluh reason]. Megatron is going to be undergoing his very sincere character development, but when he and Starscream start interacting... it’s so easy for both of them to slide right back into those ugly, ugly patterns. But at least now, there are non-Decepticons in the mix who aren’t used to that dynamic to go ‘uhhhhh what the fuck???’ and disrupt it, but that’s going to be a fic where I need to handle a lot of delicate Emotions, and Starscream getting legit angry at Windblade and Wheeljack both.

What else. I would love for Strika to play with some of them at some point. Windblade is 200% down, but I don’t know which of the others would be XD SOUNDWAVE. Will be relevant in the future. The distant future. GOD, I need to write towards that future. I need to write Starscream prodding at the conflicting feelings of wanting to protect himself and wanting to be cared for. There’s going to be a Sleepover Mark Two fic at some point (after Megatron). I want to address the combaticon situation eventually.