#stalker talk

Again, no pressure. I think people sometimes underestimate how awful it really is and so if you wanted to talk about it or educate about it, feel free to use this ask as an opportunity (I hope that came out right!)

Thank you for catching up! Oh yeah, I have absolutely no problem in talking about it! I don't know if it needs TW but in case:

TW: i'll be talking about stalker, if you don't feel comfortable don't read

I have 2 big advices about this:

1 - never go or never go alone to meet your stalker, you could say that it is a no brainer but the majority of stalkers are ex boyfriends or girlfriend. People that you trusted at some point, that now do not accept "no" as an answer and relentlessly try to "get you back". Please don't fall for that!

The way i felt it was powerless and it creeped up on me. You know the whole speech right? He was a nice guy, he seems to be harmless and we were together for a long time, so he was my boyfriend and then things started to go south. We didn't see eye to eye on many things and i though "well i want to break up" and he seems cool with it until he wasn't

And at first it were messages, and at the beginning i though "oh he is afraid of losing me", the whole "getting you back when you said no" type of gesture (i was made to believe that i was the stuck up bitch for saying no) cause it got so romanticized and so glamorized by movies, songs and even tv shows... that i genuinely though "oh he really loves me and he wants me back" and tried to look for the good in him until i couldn't see nothing good anymore and then it was calling my parents, and then letters and flowers and once i've asked him "please stop we are over" and he wasn't listening i realized "oh he won't stop" and he kept on insisting to meet up but i wasn't going to. I never went out alone anywhere, small town and he knew my spots, but there were times in which i was scared at every turn cause he knew where i lived, and i had a pepper spray on me at all times.

People think that stalking is just "following you around", that it is "small little thing", that you don't have to worry cause he "hasn't been violent to you yet" but what gets under your skin is being relentless and it is suffocating and i had to change phone number first and then i moved completely. I had to leave my home town cause police wouldn't help (cause he didn't do anything "physical" to me) and i was scared, all the damn time. And this isn't a way of living. So i blocked him on everything, even on linkedin! I had to block his number from my parents phones, my uncle and aunt (and he still tried to have a connection through them) even my friends blocked him

2 - trust your guts!!! Each one of us, when we are in danger or even when we feel uncertain, there is this pull that we feel and that feeling could be your saving grace. I trusted it and it showed me his real colors but many don't do it and it can get dangerous pretty quick and there is no turning back!

Therapy, support system and sharing my location where all things that i did and still do to this day. If you can call a local number for strength and support please do that as well but please please please if he/she doesn't listen to your small "no", if they don't respect those boundaries please leave.