#squirhe

     ❛   i never took you for a man of deception,   pod.   i feel as if you’ve been keeping a large secret from me.   how dare you not tell me you could sing  ?   ❜   it could’ve kept him entertained for many a drunken night spent with his usually-sober squire.

❝ Ser Jaime failed me. Said I wasn’t ready, I suppose he’s right. ❞ It’s a moment between the two squires-- Wyllas and Podrick-- when tending to their masters wasn’t expected. They should be sleeping, ready to rise with the morning sun and right back polishing armour, sharpening swords, everything a squire did during his day, and then some. Pod was quiet, easy to talk to... he thought so, anyways; Wyllas liked that. ❝ If he wanted, he could keep me a squire forever, ❞ He rocks on his cot, book in his lap, as he grips it, hard, between his hands. Eyes look at the wall, through the window, thoughts drifting to where he could be had he stayed in the North. ❝ I gave up everything to be here, but sometimes it doesn’t feel worth it. ❞ Lips catch in his teeth, attention honing back in on Pod, ❝ and you-- you could be anything! I’m sure you’ve thought about being somewhere else other than here. ❞

❛  i remember exactly how i thought life should be . ❜ from podrick payne

infants, babes,  HATCHLINGS  - set loose to flee from the world ! she remembers the rags and raw heels of her adolescence ( childhood? no no, not you. you were never a child, not really ; the dragon’s daughter, always, but never a child. )  .. she remembers the dreams of a little girl, princess of dragonstone, sister of the last dragon. they were going to go home in silks, to be welcomed with cheers and adoration and wrapped in hand-sewn dragon banners. those dreams melted away in a golden crown, they were put to the flame to rise again the vows of a queen .. of a khaleesi. of a dragon,  so do i, she thinks. turning her gaze to him, ❛ WHAT WAS IT like? in your mind? ❜

it was a question with too many components to it   -   an answer that he wouldn’t have liked,  if she’d been entirely honest.   was she okay?   she felt better today than she did the day before,  and hoped that the next would allow her to feel better than she did in that moment.   she doesn’t think he’ll understand.   she doesn’t expect him to understand.   but he’s there,  and that says more than anything,  doesn’t it?   he cares.   she likes to think that he does,  because he wants to,  and not because he feels required to.   she inhales,  exhales.   smiles at him,  soft and calm.   reaches out in the space between them until she can cover one of his hands with her own.     “i am okay,”     she reassures him,  and doesn’t know if that’s entirely true.   it is,  though.   in that moment.   in that moment,  she can breathe and she doesn’t feel too weighed down with the pressure of everything.   from the lords,  to the ladies,  to the people in winterfell.   the food.   the need to help them all survive this winter.   she had to think of each and every one of them,  not just the rich.   podrick reminded her of that more than he should,  given that she was queen.   she exhales.     “i promise,  i’ll tell you if that changes,”     he knows,  though,  doesn’t he?   better than she knows herself,  she thinks sometimes.   sansa doesn’t say that.   squeezes his hand,  once,  twice.     “but i am okay,  podrick.”