#spuffy thoughts

everyone in buffy's life demanded something of her. even if they never actually asked (which they did a lot anyway), they knew she would do whatever they needed her to do because it's buffy. they come down on her for her "imposed super-self-reliance" but when did they ever offer to do something for her without getting something in return. spike is one of the only people in the entire season to not really ask anything of her. he does it once, the entire time, when he asks her for help in the basement. and that's because he can't ask anyone else. but the rest of the time he stays out of the way, quietly waiting by her side until she asks him for his help, because she knows she can. he's always the first and sometimes only person to come to her defense.

Thinking about how I started watching Buffy with Graduation Day the week before season 4 started and the second Something Blue Aired, I knew something had changed in me forever. I fell in love with the idea of Spike and Buffy and it's still the ship I'm fondest of, it & Buffy as a show both feel like coming home whenever I come back to it, and it makes me giggle to think about how I knew basically nothing about their history and still said oh yes, these two need to be together forever.

Digital sketches by me. Buffy and Spike, Touched (BtVS 7x20). 

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond any experience,your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility:whose texture compels me with the colour of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

This is why I think Spike shouldn't have got his soul back. Maybe have him try and go through all the tests but for whatever reason his soul can't be recovered. Because him finding his humanity while still being a demon is what makes him more interesting than Angel. With his soul back, he's just another undead "human" wanting redemption for things he technically didn't do, the vampire did. I know this is supposedly how they handwave the whole r@pe thing but that's such a cop out imo. It should never have gone that far, just show his internal conflict with what the demon part of him wants and his recovering humanity knows is right. But have him continue to defy the supposed lore of vampires and humanity and work to be a good being, not necessarily a good "man".