#spoonie issue

Me: *gives stomach food*

Things I've Forgotten Since Epilepsy:

Being held at knife point

Why I stopped talking to my maid of honor (she asked me how she could cause a miscarriage after I'd lost my first 2)

My honeymoon

Who my son's Godparents are

My own age (seriously)

When you thought they got it...

At a school function my momfriends were talking shop and it came up again that I used to teach. One of my better momfriends looks right at me and says, "why are you off? You could totally handle that", not in a mean way, worse, in a confident way. I was like, " _________, it's called faking it. They're looking at brain surgery. I might have an actual lobotomy". Her face! I watched her take that in, first the horror of it, then her comment, how everyone heard, back to me and then it was like a fast forwarding version of someone tallying my missing days, the weird off key things I sometimes say, the cancelled plans, the tiny physical abnormalities and changes, the things all adding up and the opinion of me changing right there. I don't know what to do with myself after seeing that.

Part of me is really proud at how well I must be doing if someone I consider a friend can't tell how shit I'm really doing.

Part of me is afraid that maybe I'm not that sick and should be getting more done.