#spn reader

You froze, heart sinking at the familiar gravel in Dean’s voice. Slowly, you turned to see him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, his green eyes shadowed with suspicion—and something deeper you couldn’t quite place.

“Dean...” you started, your voice barely above a whisper.

He stepped closer, his boots heavy on the floor, the sound unnerving in the silence. “What’s in the bag?” he asked, nodding toward the duffel slung over your shoulder.

You tightened your grip on it instinctively, your stomach churning. “It’s nothing. I just need some air, that’s all.”

“That why you’ve got your car keys, too?” His jaw clenched, his gaze burning into yours.

You bit your lip, unable to meet his eyes. You’d spent weeks working up the nerve for this moment, convincing yourself it was for the best. But standing here, with Dean looking at you like that—like you were breaking something inside him—it was almost too much to bear.

“Dean, I can’t do this anymore,” you admitted, your voice cracking.

“What?” he breathed, as if the word itself was foreign.

“This life,” you said, gesturing vaguely to the bunker around you. “The hunting, the danger, the constant fear that one of us isn’t going to make it back.” You swallowed hard, tears pricking at your eyes. “I thought I could handle it, but I can’t.”

Dean stood there, frozen, like he’d just been punched in the gut. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse. “So, what? You’re just leaving? No warning, no... no goodbye?”

“It’s easier this way,” you whispered.

“Easier?” He took another step closer, his voice rising. “For who, huh? You? Because it sure as hell isn’t easier for me!”

The tears you’d been holding back spilled over. “Dean, please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “You think I’m just gonna let you walk out that door? After everything? After...” He trailed off, his voice breaking. “After you made me believe I wasn’t alone in this?”

His words hit like a knife to the chest, and for a moment, you almost reconsidered. Almost.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “But I can’t stay and watch this life destroy you. Destroy us.”

Dean’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, his knuckles white. He looked at you like he wanted to say something, anything, to make you stay. But all he could do was stare, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

Without another word, you turned and walked toward the door, your footsteps echoing in the emptiness.

“Don’t go,” Dean finally said, his voice barely audible.

But you didn’t stop.

MAKE NOTE!

Before I introduce you to your character, which will appear in a separate post, there are some things that I wish to make known in regard to my particular take on a reader insert and how updates will go.

Firstly, this rewrite will solely be presented on this tumblr blog, under The Marked Hunter / plaidandantlers as well as on Wattpad, under plaidandantlers. I have run into my stories being stolen in the past, and therefore, if you see the contents of my writing anywhere else without my notice or explicit permission, it is not mine, and I’d appreciate it if you'd let me know about it.

Secondly, fanfiction and the reader insert community has grown and changed so much since I initially started writing, and a big thing that I’ve personally noticed is word count. Personally, I have never really taken part in that. I will say that I have been known to expand, and over detail as some would say, in my old run. I tried to make each rewritten episode about five parts each if possible, with no telling if I were to add extra parts on the side or in between episodes. The parts themselves would be quite extensive! I can’t say that that is going to change this time around.

If this is not your preference, no worries. I know that tumblr isn’t the easiest platform to write upon, especially when it comes to reading fics, but regardless, we are so lucky there are so many talented writers here! There are so many to choose from. This is why this story is also available upon Wattpad, as I feel keeping the story altogether and not by separate post may be a bit easier upon. Have you seen my masterlist? Yikes.

Third, I welcome ideas, questions, and suggestions! My ask box will always be open. As for the first episode, I am regaining my footing and have plotted it out thoroughly. I perhaps won’t start taking requests for episodes until Wendigo at the earliest, but by all means, do not let that stop you if you have an idea for the Woman in White! I try to incorporate as much as I can, but sadly, please also note that not everything can be added into the story. I will either place them in separate series or one shot, or highly encourage you to attempt to write your own! Even if you don’t share it, these are so fun to make.

Fourth, and most importantly, I am not ashamed to admit that this reader insert originally derived from an original character concept into this wonderful fandom. This character means a lot to me, but in order to share my writing, it was most comfortable for me to convert it into a reader insert. There may be slip ups in regard to posting content. I dislike writing in the first person, and second point of view makes me feel that I’m tearing out chunks of information. I tend to write from a third point of view and edit it later, so be prepared to see some slip ups in regard to seeing OC names or third person pronouns. If you notice an error, please be kind in pointing it out to me so I can correct it.

This also being said, as the insert is based off of an original character, this particular series is intended for female audiences. In my old run, I had a lot of confusion as to whether it was gender neutral or if I could make a different version to fit a specific gender. While I would love to do that, I barely keep up with my project as is, and that would be a lot of extra work for me. I am absolutely not against it, but given my limited free time, I would like to present it as close to my original vision as possible. I have no intention to disappoint or offend anyone, therefore, if you would like to create your own version, or would like to take my writing and submit it under new pronouns, etc. I would be happy to see your vision come to life!

This reboot also features a face claim for the reader but is not necessary to use at all. I enjoy making edits from time to time and find that quite difficult to do when using an anonymous face. The original character’s face claim is Jenna Louise Coleman, and I will continue to be using her for various creations outside of the writing. There are even a couple that have already been posted in regard to her face claim being used in various episodes upon my page. Never fear, descriptions of your appearance will be made in multiple segments to make it individualized as much as possible. Examples such as (eye color), (hair color), etc. Therefore, if you see any mistakes in editing, such as described above, please be polite in correcting my errors!

This also being said, I welcome seeing edits and descriptions of your own fancasts as well. Genuinely, I will beg for it. I enjoy seeing how people envision themselves when reading or whatever face claim they cast as themselves when reading.

Lastly, it needs to be said. I claim nothing of the following project as my own except for the creation of (Y/N) Summers and the surrounding plotlines. Any other characters, settings, and plots belong to Supernatural and all other rightful owners! This is only meant for the intent of entertainment, and I shall never claim any of it as my own.

FAQ

Why is this referred to as The Marked Hunter and Tribus?

I guess you’ll just have to find out! There’s a reason for it, but of course, I don’t wish to disclose all my secrets right away. I wish to present this like a book as much as possible, and therefore some things need to be revealed in their own time.

Why is the first season titled ‘Enigma’?

This part I can easily share. An enigma is a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand. I feel this particular word fits the reader and their plot for this season swimmingly. The reader is known for being after similar things the brothers are, but of course, is an individualized person, and will find things about themself along the way they have yet to grasp.

Will your series have the reader end up with Sam or Dean? Will they end up with (So and So)?

Only time will tell! I understand there are many Sam-Girls and Dean-Girls, trust me, but I want to keep a few surprises in store for all of you. You may end up with one, both, or even neither. Nothing is set in stone just yet. I will state that while there may be little implications here and there for your reading pleasure, a majority of the first season will feature no romance. Given this is the beginning of the show and my story, there is so much that can and needs to be introduced to use canonically as well as with your character, and I’d rather focus on the build up of friendships and plots before anything gets too deep and heavy.

Will you have a word count?

Briefly stated above, I do not have a word count and that is a personal preference. I often feel too pressured to hit a certain amount of words, or in different settings, feel I have written too much or too little. I want this to be a fun project, and I wish to present my writing and my ideas to the best of my abilities, regardless of how long or short a full rounded idea may come to be.

My initial plan is to make each episode about five parts each. I feel this breaks up the episodes nicely, and seeing as the length of each part is unknown, even more so. We’ll just have to wait and see! Please also note that I will also be making extra parts, backstories, original series, and imagines on the side. While having a basic outline, anything can happen. Little details don’t tend to speak to me until the time comes. Let’s see where this goes.

I have an idea for this episode, may I submit it? I have a headcanon for the reader’s backstory, may I share it? I have an edit I’d like to share with you, would you like to see?

Yes, yes, yes! Despite my basic outline and twists and turns along the way, the main concept is that this is made for you, and I’d love to see how people interpret my writing and their character. I value ideas, feedback, and anything else you wish to share with me. My ask box is always open. I have always loved interacting with my readers and answering their questions, it’s a majority of the reason why I keep coming back. Sadly, I may not be able to incorporate every idea I receive, but I most certainly will try my best!

Do you write anywhere else?

I only write on this tumblr blog and on Wattpad, under plaidandantlers. If you feel this story has been copied in any way without my knowledge of explicit permission, please let me know so I can handle it.

When will you start?

My goal is sometime within October. I am currently working on an outline of the first season as well as a rough draft of the first couple episodes being written out. September is a busy month for me, as well as the first few weeks of October, but I want to get this going as soon as possible. I appreciate and value your time and patience.

Will you have consistent updates? When will you post?

Undetermined at this time. I used to post every day and queue up some parts and pieces, but I felt my writing lacked when I tried to hold myself to a daily deadline. I am not going to hold myself to a deadline this time, but just hope and work hard on progressing in general. Updates may be every day, every couple days, every week, etc. but I am bound and determined to keep up with this project this time around.

I have a question not listed here!

I plan to make a FAQ page eventually, and as the series is ongoing, will obviously update it as necessary. Please submit any questions you ask and refer to the page often.

“Family is family. Whether it's the one you start out with, the one you end up with, or the family you gain along the way.” 

Those words echo in your head as you stare at the empty Impala, sitting quietly in the nearly empty motel parking lot. Your heart squeezes tightly in your chest as you realize the next decision you’d make would be one that would forever impact your life. Your eyes trace the lines of the sleek vehicle you’d spent the better part of the last three years in. 

Three years in which you had risked your life multiple times, been through hell, literally, and seen the potential end of the world. Yet, you wouldn’t take any of it back. You wouldn’t give up any of the moments of the past three years for a chance at that apple pie, white picket fence, 2.5 kids life. Hell, you wouldn’t give up a second, even if it meant that the decision you faced now would be non-existent. 

The decision to stick it out, to continue to watch the man you secretly love find momentary comfort in the arms of any woman who happened to look his way, to sit idly by as he drowned his sorrows with a bottle of whiskey, and to constantly have to bit your tongue to keep from saying the words you so desperately want to. Or the decision to run, to leave it all behind; the pain, the heartache, the desperate need to hear him whisper the three words that consumed your entire waking thoughts when you were around him. Your entire life hung in the balance, suspended in a pendulum between the choice to run and the choice to stay. 

The glow of the flickering fluorescent bulbs reflects onto the shiny black hood of the Impala, pulling you in and drawing your eye to the driver’s wheel. You could almost picture him behind the wheel, one hand casually resting against it as he leans back into the leather seat, the sounds of Led Zeppelin blasting out of the speakers. 

The warm air whips in through the open windows, hitting your cheeks and grabbing at your hair. A beam of sunlight shines through the window, sending a pleasant feeling of warmth racing through you as you lean back into the heated leather of the passenger seat. You tilt your head just enough to look over at Dean, your heart squeezing in your chest at the pure freedom on Dean’s face. That satisfied smile rests easily on his lips, his hand settled comfortably on the wheel. The sleeves of his worn flannel are pushed up, revealing his muscular, tanned forearms. 

Dean reaches forward, turning down the sounds of “Rambling Man” filling the car. “Sweetheart, I can feel you staring at me. If you want something, all you have to do is ask.” He says smugly, giving you a side-eye before returning his attention to the road.

“I was just looking at that spider on your shoulder.” You answer nonchalantly. “It’s a big one.” 

Dean shivers dramatically, a hand shooting out wildly to run over his shoulder. You can’t help but laugh at his sudden reaction and he gives you a dirty look. 

“Jeez sweetheart, that’s a bit low.” His tone is sarcastic, a bit biting, but his eyes twinkle. His hand snakes out, grabbing your side and tickling it as best he can while still keeping the vehicle moving forward in something of a straight line. 

You let out a loud laugh as you fight off his hand. “Dean,” You say breathlessly, his fingers relentless in their pursuit. He gives you a suave smile, accompanied by a wink, before withdrawing his hand, his gaze returning fully to the road ahead of him. 

You lean back in the seat, savoring the moment. Quiet moments, where everything in the world was right and normal, didn’t happen often in this life. You couldn’t recall the last time you’d actually seen Dean smile in pure, honest happiness and that alone had you wishing that you could freeze time and stay here forever in this moment with Dean. 

A soft smile spreads across your face at the memory. That had been a good day, one where the troubles of the supernatural, of hunting and saving the world, hadn’t hung over you like a dark cloud. The heavy creak of a door pulls you out of your thoughts, your attention flying to the row of rooms behind you. 

A broad, unmistakable figure stands in the doorway, outlined by the dim light of the room behind him, his features partially hidden in the shadows. You don’t say anything, watching as he slowly closes the distance separating the two of you. His eyes land on your duffle, which you had discarded at your feet while you’d been trying to decide what to do next. 

“Where you going Y/N?” He asks in a rare instance in which he used your real name and not some nickname he’d concocted for you. You give a half-hearted shrug in response, unable to answer as your mind floats between the two decisions in front of you.

He knew without looking, what you were thinking about, it was written all over your face. And yet, he still couldn’t bring himself to say the words he’d been burying underneath the surface for the last year. He couldn’t say the words because he knew that the moment he did, you’d be drug down with him, caught in that endless battle between the good and the evil. Or even worse, that something would use you to get to him, turn you into that evil being he felt he himself had become.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You finally speak, something unexplainable pushing you towards a decision, one that would tear you apart, but would take you out of that vicious cycle you’d fallen into. “I think I’m going to go. I’ve been crashing on your guys’ thing for way too long. It’s time you got back to really doing the family business.” 

“This is family Y/N.” He says roughly, pointing back towards the half-open door of the motel room. “We’re family.” His hand falls back listlessly to his side as his kaleidoscopic eyes fall on you, boring into your eyes as he looks for some sign that you understand the implication of his words; some sign that you heard what he couldn’t bring himself to actually say. 

“I know Dean.” You whisper, that broken, hopeless feeling settling back in your chest as his eyes read the emotions you can’t hide. “But this-” you gesture wildly between the two of you, “This, us, isn’t going to happen. You’ve made that perfectly clear.” 

“Y/N, wait.” His voice is thick, his hand reaching out, grabbing your hand, effectively stopping your movement. He falls silent as the air between the two of you cracks with an unnamable charge. You find yourself leaning forward, the distance between the two of you dissipating. His eyes drift to your lips, lingering there before he slowly drags them back up to yours. His head tilts forward, coming even closer to yours. Your breath mingles with his, your lips only a breath away from his own. Your heart begins to beat faster in your chest, the anticipation of finally feeling his lips against yours seizing your body. Dean hesitates there a moment and you can almost taste his lips on yours before he pulls back.

He doesn’t say anything but you can see it written in his face, the fear and guilt shining like light through the cracks of his mask. You wait, hoping that you were seeing something that wasn’t there, but he remains silent. 

You pick your duffle up off the scuffed, strangely stained sidewalk, hauling it up and over your shoulder before making your way towards the nearly vacant main street. He doesn’t stop you, he can’t knowing full well what a life with him would mean for you. Instead, he lets you go, watching as you walk away, his heart ripping away from his chest as you, unknowingly, take it with you.

This makes the elder brother blink his eyes at his sibling, “You can’t be serious, there’s an actual experience for that crap.” Sam sent a hard glare in Dean’s direction, “It means a lot to Alexa and I wanted to make sure we make this her best Christmas ever.” “Is that before or after she heads back to where she came from?” Dean points out, knowing Alexa came from a world where he and Sam were some made-up characters. Sam stayed quiet, his eyes cast down. He’d gotten so close to her since she’d arrived, Sam didn’t want Alexa to go anywhere. Sam wanted her to stay, maybe give him the white picket fence life he’d wanted at one time. Heck, even if she didn’t want to have that kind of life, maybe they’d keep hunting together? “So,” Cas says, clearing his throat, in an attempt to clear the tension in the room between both brothers. “Is there anything special about this trip we need to plan and let Alexa know about?” Sam nodded, “Yes. you all need to dress up in your pajamas and we all meet at the train station to board and get our tickets, and then each of us will get the ‘First Gift of Christmas’, which is a silver bell on a red ribbon.” “Oh for crying out loud, you honestly expect me to do this?” Dean says, arms crossed in front of his chest. Letting out a breath, Sam says the one thing he knows will convince his brother to go, even if it scars him for life, “You can wear your purple dressing gown if that makes you happy.” This clearly changed Dean’s mood, “Aw, heck yes!” Before Sam and Cas could blink, Dean was off to his room to get changed. Alexa made her way into the kitchen, blinking confused as she looked over at the two men in the room. “Why do I feel I just missed something, Dean’s overly happy for it being this early in the morning.” Sam shakes his head, “Don’t worry about it Alexa, all you need to know is we’re headed out this afternoon, and you need to stay just as you are.” “In my pajamas?” Sam gives a confirming nod, “We have to head out later tonight for it, but I think it’ll be fun to have a pajama day don’t you?”

Moments he would check to see if he still held your attention; a blooming of elation in his chest when he did; a deflation of disappointment when he did not.

It was the ones he didn’t mean for you to see – the longing as you walked away; the hunger after a hunt when you were just as sweaty and dirty as he was and alive.

Those were the ones that terrified you.

Then more and more it was just the two of you. Pouring over research in the library, staking out houses and office buildings, and eating crap fast food at three in the morning because neither of you could sleep.

You could feel him when he was close, the hairs along your arms rising like sunflowers to the sun.

When he finally kissed you, he was so tender. Lips soft, pliant; hands cupping you gentle as if you were precious.

And you felt precious.

You were a warrior, a fighter, a hunter through and through.

But, in Dean’s arms you were treasure, completely worshiped and adored.

He nurtured something delicate within you no one had ever touched before.

Like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

-

“So what did you do?” Jody’s voice, sharp and judging had you groaning into your folded arms. “You drove six hours away to hide.”

“Five and a half.”

“How old are you again?”

“Okay!” You lifted your head and grudgingly accepted the goblet of wine from Jody. “I ran. I’m scared!”

Jody sat across the table from you, propping her head in her hand. Her stare was both belittling and amused. She was rubbing in your cowardice and enjoying your misery.

“What are you scared of? Dean?”

“No!” The denial was too quick, too loud. You wondered at that then distracted yourself by desperately gulping your wine.

Jody waited, fingers tapping along her cheek before moving to drink as well.

“I’m scared it could be real. And that I’ll fuck it up like I do everything else in my life. Lord knows I’ve had my fair share of flings-”

“Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.”

You stared across at her.

You came to Jody because she was the closest you had to a friend outside of the Winchesters. You needed someone to talk to. And Jody was going to strike through all the bullshit to get to the truth.

“I’m going to want more.” You confessed, eyes falling to the table. “If I didn’t run away tonight, I was only going to fall deeper and want more from him than he could ever give.”

“What do you want?”

“All of him.”

Simple. Honest.

But the truth was rarely so easy. Because he was Dean Winchester, he didn’t belong to any one person. He never could. He was a hunter, a hero and Sam’s protector.

Going further with him would be settling for fourth or fifth place in his heart.

“Maybe you should tell him that. Let him have a say.”

“It’s my heart.” You argued. You knew that if you were to ever lose him, there would be a painful void in your chest – a black hole where your heart should be.

But Jody only stared back; all amusement gone from her face.

“Dean, Dean. Pull over, Im going to be sick” you say rather quickly

With one quick stop, Dean pulls over to the side of the road and puts baby in park

“Geez, are you ok? You want some water? Mint? Mouth wash?” Sam asks as he rushes to your side.

“Mouth wash?” you reply while Sam runs back to the car and searches his bag for his mouth wash.

“Feeling a little hungover? Or just sick, sick?” Dean asks as he comes check on you as well

“A little hungover” you lie to Dean while Dean goes back to the car and reaches for a beer.

He decides something a little stronger than beer.

He pulls out his flask and walks back to your side.

Sam notices how incredibly sickly looking you’ve become and begins to worry that you are coming down with something.

You knew you were coming down from your latest high, well more like from you latest fix and you needed another. Fast.

Dean hands you the flask and you greatly take it from his hands and drink the entire thing. The whisky made things a little more tolerable.

“Thanks man, I needed that” you tell him and walk slowly back to the car.

Dean and Sam looked to you and noticed how you were walking. Like as if you were in pain and cold. The weather was warm and a beautiful day really.

“Are you sure youre feeling ok?” Dean asks as soon as he gets into the car

“Yes, step on the gas. I wanna go home already” you irritatingly reply back.

Dean didnt like that, so he did what he was told and stepped on the gas to head back to the bunker.

Finally arriving.

You get out of the car as fast as you could and into the bunker. You ran all the way to your room and found your stash hidden in your room.

You felt as though you werent moving fast enough but you made it to your room.

Dean and Sam looked at you oddly as you ran fast into the bunker.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” Dean asks as he takes the stuff from the car and into the bunker.

“Maybe she needs the bathroom again” Sam replies following Dean.

“Hmm’ is all Dean says and goes to his room to put his things away.

Once you got the needle ready, you sat on the toilet and poked the needle into your favourite vain. You pulled back the syringe to draw blood is when you injected the stuff. Slowly

Once the stuff reached your body is when you started to forget about everything else. Your withdrawals, depression, everything. Numbing out everything perfectly.

Or so you thought.

You came out of your room to look for your brothers to hang out with or just to get them to stay away from your room anyway.

“Are you feeling a lot better?” Dean asks while turning away from his cooking

“Yes, I feel a lot better” you reply way to happy but oh well you replied anyway

“Ok then” Sam says while he adds more notes to the folders in front of him

He has been adding the men of letters archives, well the both of them have been doing that and they thought you were doing the same but you dont remember a thing from your last hunt.

All you thought about was how to get your next fix or even next high. Weed wasnt cutting it anymore ever since getting into the opiates.

Stupid for getting into those. Oh well choices were made and it makes the feelings go away.

As the days go by which weeks go by as well. Dean and Sam begin to notice how incredibly bad you got while hunting, sick, and more sicker.

After the sickness, you would be at your normal self and be the great hunter they knew you to be. But when the sickness came, it was as if they didnt know who you were. Didnt look like you or anything.

“Let me know when she goes out, ok?” Dean asks Sam as he watches you walk to your room

“Uh, ok. Why?” Sam asks not really sure if he wants to know the answer but he is curious to see what Dean is up to.

“I want to look through her room, I want to see if Im right about something. If not then I am going to feel like a complete dick about it later” Dean explains himself as he looks towards the hall.

“Right about what?” Sam asks looking out for you as well

He hears you coming out of your room and walk the hallway and waits for you to appear.

“Hey guys, Im going to head out for a bit and I will be home in an hour or something” you tell them and head out the door.

You didnt give them any time to say anything cause you needed to head out and look for the number one thing you have been needing. You needed your next high. You needed it bad.

“Ok, go” Sam says to Dean as he books it to your room

“What exactly are we looking for?” Sam asks as he digs through your stuf

“Needles or drugs” Dean replies as he sees a box in the bottom of the sink in your bathroom

Dean hoped it wouldn’t be the things he is looking for. Other wise all of you weird behaviour he has noticed for the past couple years would be more understandable now.

He has seen this type of addiction before in fellow hunter friends, their addiction to opiates and how they passed to overdosing.

He opens the box and sees his worst nightmare

“Sam” is all Dean could say and drops the box

Sam rushes to Dean’s side and sees what has fallen to the floor.

All the used needles, cotton balls and spoons. Along with the rubber bands. He also sees the unopened rigs.

“No” Is all Sam can say

He doesnt understand why you would want to inject anything into yourself with poison.

They get out of your roomand wait for you to come back to the bunker.

Dean has a few words for you.

Sam has a few questions for you.

They couldnt believe their baby sister would turn to drugs

Dean is beginning to understand the border line alcoholism but he always thought it was just something to help you sleep. He didnt think it was something to settle the withdrawals.

The next morning, Dean and Sam are still seated in the library waiting for you to walk through the doors. None of them moved from their seats, they stayed seated like that and waited for you. Dean was to heated to even move from his seat.

His anger turned to worry when you never showed. Until now, his nerves settled and now all he wants to do is hug you and lock you away. But he needed to say a few things first before he can do that.

As you come walking down the stairs and see your brothers in the library looking at you all tired looking. You were about to say something when you see a familiar box. Your heart begins to race.

“Morning guys, sorry I didnt come home last night and sorry I didnt call or anything” you say to break the ice but knew you should have said nothing and should have went straight to your room

“Y/n? What the hell is this crap?” Dean asks opening the box and pushing it towards you.

Your heart begins to beat rapidly because your brother has found your dirty secret. Your life long dirty secret.

“You went through my room?” you ask not even going to lie about the box they found.

What was the whole point in lying? They found it, they figured it out and you werent going to lie about it.

It was as if you secretly hoped they would find it, maybe them finding it would finally get you to stop and go to treatment.

“Of course we went through your room. We wanted to know what was making you feel so crappy and during hunts” Sam says next, he finally finds his voice.

“You found my dirty secret. Now what?” you ask as anger begins to form.

“Why? How long? This needs to stop now” Dean replies sternly, he didnt want to get too angry. Otherwise he would have ruined the whole plan he had.

“Or else what?” What are you going to do if I dont stop?”  you ask while looking to both of your brothers

They both went quiet, they didnt want to give any ultimatums cause they feared you would pick the poison over them and they knew you are going to pick that over them.

They wondered what they did wrong to make you turn to something else to numb out everything.

Sure Dean hasnt been the poster boy about opening up his feelings about anything and he feels he should have done that with you. At least.

Sam should have pestered you more about opening up. How he does with Dean, he should have done the same for you. He didnt and he feels ashamed.

“You know, I’ll make things easier for you” you break the silence and walk down the hall and into your room

“What do you mean make things easier for us?” Sam asks as he follows you down the hall

“Where the hell do you think your going?” Dean asks next following behind Sam

You grabbed what you could and what you thought was clean. At least it was warm clothing anything, it was beginning to get a bit nippy out there.

“Im leaving. That way I wont be such a burden to either of you anymore” you reply while walking back down the hall and up the round stairs

“Y/n, no. Stay here and we will help you” Sam pleads with you as he follows

“Y/N!! Stop” Dean raises his voice

“You arent a burden. Stay, so we can figure out how to help you and let us help you” Sam continues as he looks to you.

You are at the top of the stairs and finally with one final thought. You turned the door knob and walked out.

Dean runs up the stairs and tries to block you from going any where but he is too late. He ran out the door and you were gone. He yells for your name, looks around and continues to yell for you.

Nothing, it was as if you disappeared into thin air and he wondered where you went or what direction you took.

“Son of a bitch” Dean says as he looks around with both of hands behind his head.

Tears fill his eyes as a lone tear streams down his face. He falls to his knees, feeling defeated he let this happen. Defeated he let anything go this far and didnt notice anything to begin with.

Sam comes running to him and looks around as well.

“Sam, shes gone. I couldnt catch up to her. I let her go” Dean tries to keep his emotions together. But he releases a sob

“We’ll find her, someone has to see her and security cameras are every where and one of those ust of caught her” Sam says as he helps Dean to his feet.

Months went by, Dean and Sam never stopped searching for you. Drove from town to town, Dean always tracked better when he was on the road. But his leads always went cold. You knew better to go off track cause you knew he would track you.

Finally Dean’s phone begins to ring. He takes out his phone so fast and answered it like his life depended on it. In a way it did.

Dean talks on the phone for a long period of time and Sam is getting anxious. He doesnt what is going on or who is calling.

Finally Dean gets off the phone.

“Well who was that? What did they say? Say anything about y/n?” Sam asks way too quickly

Dean couldnt understand a word he said, all due to the phone call he just got and that shocked him more.

“That was Y/n’s doctor. She was admitted yesterday and he told me that they saved her from an overdose. That its their third time saving her from the overdose. Why they never called the first couple times was because she didnt list any family members as emergency contacts. Sam we got to go. We got to get our baby sister” Dean finally says and begins running to his room to begin packing.

Sam couldnt believe those words came out of Dean’s mouth. More like he couldnt believe you wouldnt add him or Dean as your emergency contact to begin with. Until now.

They drove for hours and hours.

As they stand at your door, they see you laying on your hospital bed, IV in one hand while the nasal cannula is inserted.

Your attention is brought to the door and you couldnt believe your brothers are standing right in front of you.

“Hi” you break the silence as the greeting came out a little raspy and small

Your brothers came further into the room.

Dean is the first one who hugs you.

“Hi, I missed you” as a tear streams down his face

He hold yous a little longer, feeling as though he is going to wake up and realize its all a dream and have to wake up to a bunker without you in it.

“I missed you so much” he says as he holds onto you a little longer and tighter.

He feels as though you were going to dissolve away if he let you go. Again

“What the hell happened?” he asks taking a seat by your bed side

“I chased and ended up here” you simply answer your brother.

Well you felt ashamed by answering him

“Your face” is all Dean could say

He sees the bruises on your face, the dark circles around your eyes and how sunken in your face is. He is thinking as if he is looking at your skull.

“Ooh, I owe money to my dealer and he made an example out of my face. A few times. So to medicate, I chased the high so much, that I practically chased myself in here” you reply to your brother and look around the room

“The only way for us to get you out of here is you go to treatment and get help. Dean and I were talking along the way and thats our ultimatums” Sam says while Dean looks to him in annoyance

Dean wanted some time with you before he sent you to treatment.

“Ok, ok. I will get the help. I will go to treatment, I wanna come home” you tell them as you begin to cry.

Sam is happy and hugs you. Tears stream down his face as a sigh of relief escapes his mouth

“Thats what I want, for you to come home and go get help. We want to be there for you. We love you” Dean says as he hugs you.

He felt relieved he heard those words coming out of your mouth, as if all of his stress has been removed and now he can finally settle his nerves. Kind of.

For them it was an eternity. Dean felt as though he was in hell all over again but this time felt longer.

Sam felt like he was in the cage all over again in trying to look for you. Or he felt as though he didnt have a soul. Having you around was better and you are Sam’s other half just like Dean is his other half.

When all three of you are together, its as though everyone feels complete but when separated, thats when everything crumbles.

You felt like you are getting your family back, after being away from your brothers for so long. Well more like after running from your problems and creating more. You really felt like you are getting them back and earning their trust.