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Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, tooth-rotting fluff, pregnancy, pre-established relationship, marriage proposal
Summary/Warnings: You have big news for Dean. News you have to tell him, wether he likes it or not. You really hope he likes it, though.
Author's Note: Kind of a prequel to another fic of mine (Still You Want Me), but can be read alone. I just love putting big scary men in normal situations.
Word Count: 2.9k
You can do this. You’ve been to hell and back, you’ve killed angels, you’ve survived at least three apocalypses, and you’ve helped raise the Anti-Christ. This should, comparatively, be easy.
It’s not. It’s the most daunting and terrifying thing you’ve ever done. It’s just words, but you’re going to choke on them because they could ruin your life. You’ve rehearsed in front of the mirror until your voice didn’t sound like yours anymore and nothing you said seemed real. It had been like repeating the same one word over and over again, until it’s nothing but an odd sound. Until it meant nothing.
But this has to mean something. You have to be able to say this to Dean, and you have to try and not get lost in the possibilities of how he’ll respond. He won’t leave you—Dean would never leave you—but he might tell you he doesn’t want this, and then you’ll have to make a choice. You don’t want to make a choice. You don’t want to hear Dean tell you that, with the lives you lead, this wouldn’t be a good idea. That it doesn’t matter what either of you want, because this isn’t something you get to have.
You want to have this, though. You want to have Dean and the baby. You want to have him as you’ve always had him before—strong and tired, always fighting because it’s all he knows how to do, but resting his head on your chest in the dark and humming against your lips when he kisses you—but you also want to have him in this new way. Where he’d smile for more reasons than just you and Sam and Cas. Where he’d get to direct some of that undying loyalty to someone who’d never be ungrateful, who’d would see him as a hero in a way he might finally believe.
He’d be so good at it. Dean would spoil the kid, and teach them everything he knew, and care for them more than he’d ever care for himself. It breaks your heart sometimes, how he doesn’t kill himself for Sam, and he doesn’t drink himself to death for Cas, and he tries to get better for you, but he still doesn’t really know how to look in the mirror and not see a shadow.
And this would be the piece of him that’s never been tainted. The piece of him that crawls over you in bed just to hold you, that still watches cartoons and gets excited when he sees a cool car or hears an awesome drumline. The part of him that still cares, against all odds, and cares so much you’ve been worried it would kill him. The part of him that’s so simply made of light and love, crushed under years of his soul being bruised and beaten.
A part of him that won’t break. A part of him you love just as much as the rest of his wreckage, but that you still try to tend to, because you’ll love him the same if it vanishes, but you don’t think he deserves that. Dean deserves to only have that piece of him expand, to have it absorb all the love you throw at him, to grow until he can see it too. Until he can believe it’s there.
You know that it’s all so fucking hard. That Dean will never be all light, but you wouldn’t ever expect him to be. You know that a baby won’t fix him, not by far, but you also know it will show him he can create something. That he doesn’t poison everything he touches.
That he made something entirely good, with you.
And if he tells you he doesn’t want this, you’ll live with that. You’ve lived with worse.
But you don’t even want to try to live with it. You’ll probably have to, but you’d like to pretend you won’t.
The most you’re daring to pray for is that he doesn’t freak out. But angels don’t really take your calls anymore.
So you’ll just have to hope.
You’ve set this up perfectly. There’s a pie in the oven that you will not let burn. There’s bacon and pancakes on a plate waiting for him when he finally gets his ass up. You have the whole bunker to yourself, because Sam’s off to see Eileen.
You’re not allowed to tell Dean that—Sam says he gets annoying—but you will in order to get him in a better mood. Sam’s fatal mistake was believing that you wouldn’t do anything to make Dean happy. So this is really on Sam. He’s the one that introduced you to Dean in the first place. Just because you were his friend first doesn’t mean he didn’t lose your automatic allegiance the moment he said this is my brother and his brother was the hottest man you’d ever seen.
Sam should’ve known better. His big head should’ve understood that letting you anywhere near Dean—let enough so close that you’d be allowed to fall in love with him—would have always resulted in you using his secrets against him to make Dean happy, so you could slip in the fact that you were pregnant with Dean’s baby as easily as possible.
Like any sane person would.
Although you have been up for hours, after only sleeping two. And you might be losing your mind. But anyone would lose their mind in a situation like this. Waiting for their dumb boyfriend to wake up so they can change his life forever.
But Dean’s still asleep. You’re starting to get worried. He usually sleeps in late, especially after hunts, but not this late. Not past noon, long enough for you to stress eat half of his pie, then make a whole second one. Not long enough for the coffee to go cold three times.
You’re about to go check on him when he appears in the kitchen door. Bleary eyes and mussed hair, his glazed eyes focusing slightly when they land on you.
He starts to shuffle towards you, and you forget everything you’d rehearsed. He looks sleepy and adorable, and you’ve seen him like this before but you’d like to see it a million times more. You’d like Dean to always drop his head on your shoulder and wrap his arms around your torso, to always slump over you with a low hum. To always kiss the crook of your neck and let out a long breath when your hands snake around his neck and your fingers tangle in his soft hair.
You could have him like this forever.
You just have to tell him.
“Dean-“
“Why’re you up.” He speaks against your skin, his voice slurring slightly, tugging you a little closer. “’S early.”
“It’s 3pm, baby.” You draw back to smile at him, and he just blinks at you. “You’ve been knocked out for fourteen hours.”
He shakes his head, pouting slightly as he takes your hand in his. “Nah. Doesn’t feel it. C’mon.”
Dean starts to walk away, taking you with him, and you’re snapped out of the daze.
“Wait,” You pull on his grip, and he turns with a frown. “Where are you going?”
“We’re goin’ back to bed.”
You give him an amused look, your affection briefly overpowering your panic. “We?”
He nods, tugging your hand in his until you’re pressed right against his chest. “Only up ‘cause you weren’t there. Need to get my girl back to bed, you need sleep too-“
You do need sleep, but until you tell Dean, you might as well be injecting caffeine right into your bloodstream.
“But I made you bacon-“
“Course you did.” He grins, pressing a light kiss to your nose. “You’re awesome, baby.”
You feel your stomach flutter, and at this stage it has to only be nerves, but that doesn’t make anything easier. “Can we please eat?”
Dean hums, scanning carefully over your face. “You eat already?”
“I had some applesauce-“
“Then we’re good.” He starts to move again, and now you’re attached to him like a magnet. You couldn’t move away if you tried. “Bed.”
You’re frayed and wired and on edge, trying so hard to find the will to insist he stay and eat, but Dean’s so warm and suddenly you’re drunk on him. He’s sturdy and soft in all the right places, herding you back to bed with hands on your shoulders and mumbled praise about being his dream girl, making him bacon for breakfast and lovin’ him more than he deserves, and you wish you had enough backbone to just shout at him that he does deserve your love. He deserves whatever you can give him, including a baby that he needs to know about now before you explode.
But he gets you back into bed, splaying his body over yours and pinning you down.
“Didn’t see Sammy,” his head is buried in your chest, his voice muffled against your skin. “Where’dhe go?”
“Eileen’s.” You sigh, running your fingers through his hair. “I’m not supposed to tell you that, though.”
Dean chuckles, his hands drawing slow circles on your hips. “You’re a little backstabber, sweetheart. I’m never tellin’ you anything again.”
“I’m backstabbing Sam for you.” You shrug, smiling at the air. “I’d never backstab you.”
“’S exactly what a backstabber would say.”
You giggle. “You’re tired, Dean. Your brain’s not working right. Maybe if we get up-“
“Not getting up.” He grunts, squeezing your body. “Not until you get your own fourteen hours.”
“I’m okay, Dean-“
“No. Sleep.”
You sigh, squirming slightly under him. “You know, it’s bad for you to sleep in. It’ll mess up your circadian rhythm-“
Dean tilts his head up, frowning at you. “What’s going on with you?”
“I, um-“ You swallow, your whole body suddenly far too warm. “Huh?”
“You always make me sleep extra after hunts.” His voice is a little stronger, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Why’re you suddenly trying to get me up?”
“Nothing’s going on-“
“No.” Dean’s sitting up now, rolling onto his back and pulling you over his lap, his gaze stern. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong either-“
He says your name, squeezing your waist as he rubs his jaw. “Please just tell me. If it’s a body we can hide it, but I need to know if it’s a monster body or person body-“
“Why the hell would it be a person body-“
“I dunno, but if it is you gotta tell me, so I can grab the salt.” He cups your cheek, offering you on his charming, downright boyish grins. “I’m not letting any ghosts haunt your hot ass, babygirl.”
“Thank you.” You mumble, dropping your brow to his. “But it’s not a body.”
“So there is something.”
“Yeah.” You whisper. “But I… I’m not-“
“Hey,” Dean leans back, holding your gaze as he tucks some hair behind your ear. “Whatever it is, I don’t care. I’m helping you.”
You swallow, squeezing your eyes shut. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, like it’s simple. Like this will really be that easy. “For you? Always.”
It takes deep breathes, and hands curled in Dean’s t-shirt—gripping him hard, making sure he won’t fly away or vanish into the air when you speak—but you do it. You run over your entire rehearsal one last time and let it all go, because Dean’s right here, in front of you, and you just need to-
“I’m pregnant.”
You say it, and he doesn’t vanish into nothing. Dean just stares at you, eyes wider than you’ve ever seen them, and whispers, “With a baby?”
“Yeah, Dean.” You offer him a small smile. “A baby.”
“My- my baby?”
You open your mouth with a slight frown, and Dean’s hand flies to cover your mouth before you can speak.
“Wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just-“ He groans, his eyes seeming to drive right into your soul as his voice because hoarse. “You’re sure? That you’re… growing one?”
You wish you could read him better right now. You’d laugh at him saying growing one.
Instead you just nod, and it’s like something flips in Dean. He grins—wide and toothy and unrestrained—and you barely have time for the relief to hit when he’s kissing you. Long and deep and passionate, until you’re dizzy and grinding down onto him, falling over his chest and clinging to his shoulders.
“Dean,” you gasp as he dives down to kiss a line over your collarbone. “Shouldn’t we, shit-“ He starts suck on a soft spot behind your ear, and all your exhaustion is starting to catch back up with you, so everything is really just a haze. “Don’t we need to talk-“
“No,” he mutters, rutting slightly up into you and chuckling against your skin when you whine. “Just need you, baby, need to- son of a bitch!”
Dean’s yanks himself up and twists to his bedside table—his hand on your hips holding you steadily against him—scrambling around the drawers as he mutters low words you can’t hear.
“Are you okay?” You ask, your hand fisting in his shirt once more. “I mean, I know you might have doubts about-“
You’re cut off as Dean surges back up to kiss you again, this one shorter and soft, but still firm.
“No doubts, sweetheart.” He mutters against your lips. “And I’m better than okay. I’m fucking amazing.”
“Good.” You sigh, pulling back to scan over his face. “What was that, then?”
Dean smiles at you, and it’s… nervous. He’s almost never really, truly nervous, but this smile has no edge, no carefully designed charm. It’s just Dean, purely him, smiling at you like you’re holding his heart in your body.
You kind of are.
“I know I, uh, I don’t say it enough. You know I’m not good at saying it. But I do love you,” Dean says your name, and you blink at him. This sounds like a speech. “I love you so much it drives me insane. And I’d never want this, want a baby, with anyone but you. But, I, uh, I want all of this. Whole stupid, apple pie thing, just with you.” He takes a long breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “Marry me.”
You gape at him. “What?”
“Marry- shit, wait-“ Dean reaches slightly behind him, grabbing a small box, and pops it open with his thumb. There’s a diamond ring inside, and it looks like a real one. Not the ones you’d use on cases, that would give you a rash for a week after. This looks… carefully made.
Made for you.
“Dean-“
“Marry me?” Dean looks between your slack jaw and the box, his voice almost nervous. “Please?”
“I-“ This is going better than you could’ve ever even imagined. You’re not sure how to handle it. “I don’t want you to marry me just because you knocked me up-“
“Baby, I didn’t pull this ring out of my ass.” He drawls, his voice a little firmer. “I’ve been getting ready to ask you for months. I was going to kick Sammy out next week, make a picnic in the library-“
“Really?”
“Yeah, I-“ He frowns. “Why’d you think I was poking about your ring size?”
“I don’t, um, I don’t remember you doing that.”
Dean laughs, shaking his head slightly. “That’s good. I was worried I ruined it. I, um-“ he glances down at the ring, his face falling back to the nerves, and you realize you haven’t actually answered him yet. “I haven’t-“
It’s your turn to kiss Dean, and these words aren’t difficult to say at all. “Yes,” you whisper, pressing another, smaller kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’ll marry you.”
“Awesome.” He grins, and the ring is barely on your finger when he’s diving back into you, kissing you until you can’t ever remember anything has been difficult in your life.
You yawn right as Dean pulls away, and he chuckles.
“You alright, sweetheart?”
You hum, nodding. “I’m good. So good. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Dean says your name in your ear, and it’s quiet and gentle. Not like a secret, but a promise. “How’s a day in bed sound? We can try and get you pregnant again.”
“That’s not how it works, babe.” You giggle, folding a little deeper into his hold. “I’m gonna have to buy you some books.”
“I’ll read them.” Dean kisses the top of your head, and you can feel his smile on your skin. “For you.”
“Thank you.”
“Course.” He sighs, squeezing your body slightly. “We’re having a fucking baby.”
“Yeah.” You smile, and there’s that piece of him, shining on the surface. All joy and wonder for something that’s really just good. “We are.”
End Note: Dean Winchester in my head this is indeed the life you live every day. Season 15 isn't real it can't hurt me.
Title from Waste by Foster the People
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✦Read on AO3! - Timeline for the Homies - Dean Masterlist✦
✦Stuff By You Guys Masterlist (art, memes, and more!)✦
✦Rating/Warnings: 18+ for canon-typical violence, swearing, severe mental health issues, self-harm and suicidal ideation, mentions of rape/non-con, and sexual content.✦
✦Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, eventual happy ending.✦
Series Summary
There's something wrong with you that's not wrong with other people. You're a hunter, and a damn good one, but you might be a monster.
There might be something in you that needs to be put down. Something broken that can't be fixed.
It's why you've had one rule your whole life. The only thing your father has ever made clear is that, no matter what, you need to stay away from John Winchester. He can't even know you exist, or he'll kill you and never blink.
And when your paths cross a hunt, you should've run, but you didn't. You couldn't.
Because you looked at Dean Winchester, and something changed inside of you. Something called you to him, and you can't figure out what it was, but you know it's strong. And you know that, whatever Dean's doing to you, you don't really care to fight it. Things are broken in you, just as much is broken in him, and you fit perfectly together in a way you'll never be able to describe.
But it's more complicated than that, though. The world pulls you and Dean apart again and again.
And you find your way back, again and again.
Author's Note
This story is non-canon compliant rewrite, but primarily plot wise. Think of it as we're cooking with all the same ingredients (i.e lore, characters, setting, and backstory) but with one change (you) that gets us to a drastically different ending.
What the means is that there will be a lot of similar plot points to Supernatural, but the further we go through the story the more it will diverge. I've also take some creative labor with the reader, adding lore that's defiantly not a part of canon, but crucial to this story.
If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask! If not, I hope you enjoy the story!
Chapter List
Season 0/1
Chapter 1 - In My Brain and In My Blood
Chapter 2 - Under My Skin
Chapter 3 - I Get A Little Dizzy
Chapter 4 - You Bleed Like Me
Chapter 5 - If You Let Me
Chapter 6 - All The Noise
Chapter 7 - Something I Can See
Chapter 8 - Keep Us Far Apart
Season 2/3
Chapter 9 - Does The Feeling Haunt You
Chapter 10 - Look and See
Chapter 11 - You Might Drown
Chapter 12 - Watch You Work The Room
Chapter 13 - You'll Have to Believe It
Chapter 14 - Water Is Forever
Chapter 15 - Before It Falls Apart
Season 4
Chapter 16 - Try to Catch It
Chapter 17 - You Come Back
Chapter 18 - You Can Start to Make It Better
Chapter 19 - That's Nothing New
Chapter 20 - Wait for Me
Season 5
Chapter 21 - If You Want To Survive
Chapter 22 - I'd Go Black And Blue
Chapter 23 - You've Been Waiting to Break
Chapter 24 - Just Hold On
Chapter 25 - And It Was Written
Chapter 26 - Worth the Fight
Chapter 27 - When You Go
Season 6
Chapter 28 - All of This is Temporary
Chapter 29 - I'll Be Lonely
Chapter 30 - Hold on Tight
Chapter 31 - It All Comes Around
Chapter 32 - All Out Of Breath
Chapter 33 - See The Lightning
Chapter 34 - You Need Someone
Chapter 35 - Straight to the Heart
Chapter 36 - I Can't Jump Out
Chapter 37 - Though Sick Lullabies
Chapter 38 - Let You Break My Brain
Chapter 39 - What's It Coming To
Chapter 40 - Gotta Get to Rock Bottom
Chapter 41 - Don't Act So Surprised
Chapter 42 - Each Time I Fall
Chapter 43 - Keep Me On Your Side
Chapter 44 - Knowing How It Ends
Chapter 45 - Bleeding on the Stage
Chapter 46 - Dream Sweet Of Me
Chapter 47 - This World Will Tear You to Shreds
Season 7
Chapter 48 - You Can't Take It Back
Chapter 49 - For A Little While
Chapter 50 - Stay In Love
Chapter 51 - Tried to See You
Chapter 52 - A Good Thing
Chapter 53 - A Soft Place to Fall
Chapter 54 - Giving Way To Warm
Chapter 55 - Keep Them All Safe
Chapter 56 - Watch It Glow
Chapter 57 - Careful With The Thing Inside My Chest
Chapter 58 - Keep Your Head Down
Chapter 59 - Blink Back To Let Me Know
Chapter 60 - If We Try
Chapter 61 - Take My Love Away
Chapter 62 - Give Me Something I Can Crush
Chapter 63 - Soaked in Bleach
Chapter 64 - I've Been Holding On
Chapter 65 - Try To Wake Up
Chapter 66 - If It Don't Hurt Now
Chapter 67 - Up From Here
Chapter 68 - It Seems To Serve You
Chapter 69 - Getting Thinner
Chapter 70 - The Darkness Gets Bigger
Chapter 71 - Say It Anyway
Chapter 72 - Ain't Nothing In This World for Free (7/16)
Psalms (In-Series Bonus Chapters)
Can You Hear Me - You sit on the roof of your car. Takes place a month after Chapter 15.
I'll Keep On Waiting - Dean watches you, and Jo shares some thoughts. Takes place after Chapter 19.
So Go On - Sam Chapter! Takes place after Chapter 20.
Spinning Around - You, Dean, and allegedly Sam go to the movies. Takes place between Chapter 19 and Chapter 20.
Just Pretend - You and Dean have some dreams. Takes place almost any time after Chapter 20.
On My Way - Dean looks at some fruits. Takes place around Chapter 23.
Stay This Simple - You and Jo have a girls night. Takes place around Chapter 19.
Just Too Soft - You get your period. Takes place a bit before Chapter 27.
Never Wanted to Leave - Deleted Scenes from Chapter 27.
You'll Always Know Me - You and Sam have an adventure. Takes place a little before Chapter 27.
What If We Don't Touch - Dean has some fantasies. Takes place right after Chapter 33.
I Might Start Trying - Bobby takes you to get books. Takes place 20 years before Chapter 39.
Can You Tell? - Everyone celebrates Halloween. Takes place in a secret October, some time in the future after Chapter 43.
You'll Never Know - Dean tries to be a feminist about virginity. Dean pov in Chapter 36.
What's In Front of Me - You get sick. Takes place some time after Chapter 50.
Leave You Alone - Your brief stint in public school. Takes place four or five years before the series.
And With My Roots Above - Bobby finds a girl in the rain. Takes place ten years before the series.
Can I Just Stay Here - first time from dean's point of view!
Hymns (Alternate Universes)
Build An Alter - You and Dean survive in the Endverse
Waiting For You (All My Life) - The first time you meet him, you know that this is different. The first time he sees you, he knows the same. And it's a great, simple love that only grows. A life to be built that's just waiting for you and Dean to take it. So you do. (Normal!AU)
Extras From Me
Listen to the Playlist!
Memes!
More Memes!
Even more memes!
Help I can't stop making memes.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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sometimes you just gotta fuck up your sleep schedule by reading all 100k words of a fic you're not even enjoying, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
