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i keep thinking of my classmate in highschool who said their father accidentally became a graphic designer without any real experience about 20 odd years prior
i keep thinking of me passing those extensive english exams for a fucking call service job and not showing up to the final online interview because of technical issues,I asked them to reschedule they just ghosted me instead
i keep thinking of my miscellaneous art skills and how none of them are worth anything without a degree,a connection,internet clout,or without a job willing to train me more except the entry level position is dead right?
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Summary: Crowley's a smug bastard.... He not terrified of anything... except you, his wife.
Warnings: silly fun, Crowley being Crowley, teasing, BAMF Reader, Wife!Reader
WC: 492
Request: Anonymous: Hi! I discovered your blog and finished almost all your Crowley x Reader stories. I wanted to request a story. I imagine Reader as the Queen of Hell, Crowley's wife. I can only think how funny it would be if the Winchesters (and Bobby) called his wife whenever he acted like an idiot. Thanks in advance, I love your writing. And sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my first language.
ao3 // tag List
Crowley is on the table.
Not metaphorically. Literally.
Boots on Bobbyâs oak table, drink in hand, feet swinging as he monologues like heâs auditioning for Worldâs Smuggest Bastard.
âIâm just saying,â Crowley drawls, âif you hadnât broken the last seal, none of this would be happening. So reallyââ
Dean pinches the bridge of his nose.
Samâs jaw tightens.
Bobby sets his flask down with a dangerous sort of calm.
âThatâs it,â Bobby says. âIâm callinâ her.â
Crowley freezes.
ââŚDonât you dare.â
Dean looks up instantly. âOh. Her?â
Sam perks up. âYou meanââ
âNo,â Crowley snaps. âAbsolutely not. We discussed this. My marriage is not a disciplinary tool.â
Dean already has his phone out. âToo late.â
Crowley lungesâbut Bobby flicks a devilâs trap switch and slams him back into place.
âBoy,â Bobby mutters, dialing, âyouâre actinâ like a jackass. Your wife deserves to know.â
The line connects.
The room temperature drops.
A womanâs voice answersâsmooth, cold, amused.
âRobert Singer,â you say pleasantly. âWhat did my husband do.â
Crowley shuts his eyes. âDarlingââ
Dean leans into the phone. âHi. Huge fan. Love your work. Your husband is beingââ
âAn idiot,â you finish. âAgain.â
Sam snorts.
You sigh on the other end, regal irritation woven with fond exhaustion. âPut me on speaker.â
Dean does.
The lights flicker.
Crowley sits up straighter like a demon caught in church.
âYes, my queen?â
âWhy,â you ask calmly, âare the Winchesters calling me instead of stabbing you.â
âWellââ
âAnd answer carefully,â you add. âBecause I am in the middle of reorganizing the Fifth Circle and I donât have the patience for excuses.â
Crowley grimaces. âI may have⌠antagonized them.â
Dean laughs. âHe called us âemotionally stunted meat puppets.ââ
You hum thoughtfully. âThat is what I asked you not to do.â
âIt was accurate!â
Thereâs a pause.
Thenâ
âCrowley.â
He swallows. âYes, love?â
âIf you do not apologize to the nice boys who keep saving reality, I will demote you.â
Samâs eyes go wide. âYou can do that?â
âOh, sweetheart,â you say kindly, âI outrank Hell itself.â
Crowley mutters, ââŚI hate when youâre hot and terrifying.â
âApologize.â
He exhales dramatically, sliding off the table. âFine. Iâm sorry for being antagonistic. And smug. Andââ
ââexisting,â Bobby adds.
Crowley glares. ââŚand existing.â
You pause. âGood.â
The lights steady. The pressure lifts.
Before hanging up, you add, âBoys?â
Dean hums. âYeah?â
âAny time he starts acting like the King of Hell instead of my husbandâcall me.â
Crowley groans. âYou are encouraging them.â
You smileâeveryone can hear it.
âOf course I am.â
The call ends.
Dean pockets the phone, grinning like Christmas came early.
âWell,â he says, âthat was easier than holy water.â
Crowley sinks into a chair, rubbing his temples.
âI married a nightmare,â he mutters.
Sam claps him on the shoulder. âYou married a solution.â
Bobby raises his flask. âQueen of Hell.â
Crowley sighs. ââŚSheâs gonna make me sleep on the obsidian couch.â
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Summary: After a clumsy trip during a hunt leaves you bruised and scraped, Gabriel shows up to deliver the most dramaticâand surprisingly effectiveâhealing youâve ever experienced.
Warnings: mild injuries, teasing, fluff
WC: 816
Read on ao3! Tag List
A/N: written for my beloved Gabriel lover @leatafandom i do hope you enjoy this, babes <3
You had tripped, of all things, over a conveniently placed tree root while carrying supplies back from a hunt. By the time you limped home, your ankle throbbed, a few scrapes adorned your arms, and your pride was just as bruised as your body. You were not exactly in mortal danger, but the ache in your leg and the sting of the scratches made every step a little sharper.
When you pushed open the door, Gabriel was already lounging in his usual impossibly casual way, one leg draped over the arm of the couch, the other tucked beneath him, a smirk dancing on his lips. âWell, look who decided to greet me with a limp,â he said, eyes flicking over your injuries. âYou really know how to make an entrance.â
âI didnât exactly plan on a dramatic tumble,â you muttered, trying not to wince as your ankle protested.
Gabriel tilted his head, arms crossed, lips quirking into that infuriating smirk. âHmm. I could just let you suffer,â he said, voice teasing, âbut I suppose Iâll be charitable this once.â
âCharitable?â you echoed, raising an eyebrow. âSince when do you do charity?â
He shrugged, finally hopping off the couch. âCenturies have passed since I bothered with⌠that sort of thing,â he admitted, pacing toward you. âBut your little tumble? Special case.â
You raised a brow. âSpecial, huh?â
Gabriel grinned, though there was a faint hint of uncertainty in his movements. He hovered his hands just over your scrapes, fingers twitching as if remembering long-forgotten choreography. âHeh⌠okay. Letâs see if I still remember how this works,â he muttered. A faint glimmer of golden light danced between his palms, flickering nervously.
âYouâve been out of practice for centuries, havenât you?â you teased, sitting down carefully so he could reach your ankle.
âOut of practice, yes! Rusty, perhaps! But still perfect,â he countered, rolling his eyes dramatically while lowering his hands toward the scrape on your arm. The warmth was immediate, soft and soothing, spreading like sunlight across your skin. A gentle tingle chased the sting of your injuries away.
You laughed softly at the sight of him concentrating so hard, lips pursed and eyebrows knit. âYouâre ridiculously dramatic for something thatâs supposed to be healing magic.â
âRidiculously dramatic is my specialty!â he said, light glimmering between his fingers as he worked. âAnd besides, I am doing it slowly. You know⌠precision. Artistry. Flair.â
You let out a small groan, leaning back against the couch. âSlow is fine. I can handle slow,â you said, hiding a smile as his hands hovered over your ankle, the light now pulsing gently over the swollen skin. Every flicker of golden warmth made your leg feel lighter, every brush against your arm made your muscles unclench.
Gabriel muttered under his breath, something about âthe art of celestial healing,â before adding with a little huff, âHonestly, I canât believe itâs taken centuries for me to use this again. I forgot how⌠satisfying it is.â
âYou make it sound like a hobby,â you said, half-laughing, half-groaning as he hovered over your ankle, tweaking the golden light to dance in little spirals.
âIt is a hobby!â he shot back, smirk softening into something almost like fondness as he finally rested one hand on your knee to steady himself. âAnd youâre lucky. Most people donât get the Gabriel Specialâslow, careful, ridiculously dramatic, but effective.â
You tilted your head, closing your eyes as warmth seeped through the bruises and aches. âIt is effective,â you admitted softly. âAnd⌠thanks, Gabe. I didnât think youâd care enough to actually do this.â
âPfft. Care enough?â he scoffed, though the corners of his eyes crinkled. âPlease. Iâm fantastic at caring. You just⌠didnât notice.â
You chuckled, letting him work, feeling the aches fade under his meticulous, slightly theatrical attention. By the time he finally pulled his hands back, the bruises had faded, the scrapes smooth and tender again, and your ankle felt supported, if still a little sore from the fall.
âSee?â he said, leaning back with an exaggerated flourish of his hands. âAll better. As good as new. And not a moment too soon for my dramatic grand finale.â
You laughed, reaching over to poke his shoulder. âDramatic, yes. But⌠you werenât half bad at it.â
Gabriel tilted his head, smirk returning with a twinkle in his eye. âNot half bad?â he repeated, stepping closer to hover above you playfully. âIâll take that as a full compliment, thank you very much. But donât expect me to make a habit of thisâyou owe me snacks or something for this heroic effort.â
âDeal,â you said, smiling. âAnything for the Gabriel Special.â
And as he flopped dramatically onto the couch beside you, still muttering about his centuries-old skills and how exhausting heroics could be, you realized something: injuries, no matter how annoying, were a pretty excellent excuse to have Gabrielâs attention all to yourself.
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