#spn ff

Summary: While hunting a witch, you accidentally stumble upon her collection of sex pollen. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: ~4.2k

Warnings: DO NOT ENGAGE IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18; THIS CONTENT IS RATED M FOR MATURE Swearing, Supernatural-y things (witches), sex pollen trope, smut (p in v, f masturbation), fluff

A/N: This is my first time writing Dean smut and also my first time using the whole sex pollen trope. But this was fun, and I enjoyed writing it. If you’re feeling up to it, please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!

There wasn’t anything you hated more in this supernatural world than witches. They were ruthless, conniving and downright batshit crazy. But alas, if you and your hunting buddies didn’t hunt them, then no one would. They would continue wreaking havoc on anyone they wanted, and you couldn’t have that.

So now you found yourself in the living room of a woman you had suspected spent her free time doing witchy things. You had no idea what you were looking for–bones, spell books, weird herbs or plants; the options were literally endless. 

All you knew: people in this town all connected to this woman were ending up in rather interesting predicaments and you were determined to find out why. 

“Don’t touch anything that looks suspicious,” Dean’s voice came through the other line as you used one hand to press your phone to your ear. “I really wish you would’ve waited for me. We should’ve gone in together.”

GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .

Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

A/N: Yeah. I’m sorry for this one. And for the next one. Like... I’m sorry....

MASTERLIST

My own Rihanna

Everything ends, it’s not love but the fact we’re both hurt that keeps us together We were not two halves, we were two wholes And so we were incompatible together I didn’t love you like crazy, I went crazy to love you What am I supposed to demonstrate if you don’t even look at me We’re two monsters You spent more time being afraid of losing me than actually enjoying our time

Emily was unsure of how she ended up where she was. 

One day she woke up and she was in a house, in the middle of nowhere, with a lot of other people around who all seemed to have powers like hers. With no way of contacting her brothers, she had to take matters into her own hands and guide the very unlikely group of “chosen children'' that was formed in that abandoned city. She tried to pretend to be strong and not afraid, in control, but she was slowly spiraling, not having any idea of what they were up against or how to get out of there, especially as Ava grew more and more nervous and upset.

Sam joined them the following day. 

When she saw him appear in the room, she could do nothing but hug him. She could feel how scared he was, but there was also a hint of relief from finally finding her. It was good to have their power back and after weeks, it actually started feeling less weird and intrusive. It just became a fact that if they were feeling something intense, the other person would feel it too. 

On the night she was reunited with Sam, the yellow-eyed demon spoke to her in her dreams. He raved and raved about how much more powerful than everybody else she was, about how she should be the winner of his “contest“, because she was “special”.

“Technically, you’ve already won once.” He said, shrugging. “I just want to see if you can win again.”  Then, he showed her the night he chose her. 

“You see, getting all that blood out of me wasn’t easy. But I needed to see what would happen if I overpowered you. The other people in this town… they only got a couple of drops. More than enough to mess you up, but you and the rest of your group… Oh, the things you could have done.” 

“You know that demons lie of the time, right?” Said Sam as she talked to him about all this. They were walking outside the building, making sure nobody else had arrived and that they didn't have any unwanted guests. 

 “I know, but… what if it's true? I mean, Meg also mentioned it.”

“Maybe he's trying to put us against each other?”

“Yeah, maybe.” She exhaled. “Sam, I'm going to check on Ava, will you be okay out here?” 

The rest of the memories she had of that day were confused, scattered, but mostly painful. 

In any way possible. That was the last time she saw him alive.

Dean arrived too late. 

Emily had been trying to keep Sam alive for almost an hour. Everybody else was dead. Her knife was still in Jake, who Emily had repeatedly stabbed, screaming. He now laid on the ground, a pool of blood slowly soaking into the dirt. Everybody else was dead. It was just Emily.  

A pool of blood was also forming around Sam. All of Emily's attempts at keeping him alive were failing. 

“Don't worry Sam, you'll be alright, I am sure Dean will be here soon and he will know what to do.” She kept whispering as she covered his wound with one hand and tried to keep his heart beating with the other one. “He’ll know what to do.” She said, “He will save you.” There was nothing to do. Sam had been stabbed from side to side. There was no way of keeping the blood inside of him. Emily knew it.

She knew he was dead. He had been for a while. His heart stopped beating, his lungs stopped working. The blade went through his spine. The bottom half of her body and her forearms were completely covered in blood, the border between hers, Sam's and Jake's becoming indistinguishable the more it dried on her. 

When she heard Dean's voice, she had already given up. She was kneeling next to Sam, her head on his chest, squeezing his lifeless hand. She wasn’t even crying anymore, her voice lost in all the screaming she had already done.

She did not dare to talk. She drove back by herself, trying to keep up with Dean's reckless turns and speed. When they got back at Bobby's, she looked at Dean from a distance. 

She knew perfectly well that a small word, a breath too loud, would ignite a fight she did not want to have. Not then, not there.

Not anymore.

Sam was dead because of her. Because of her distraction.

She left him alone. She should have never left him alone. It was all her fault. 

She thought it and she was sure Dean thought it too. 

Nobody spoke for the rest of the night. Emily sat on the couch, looking at Dean's every move. She tried to cry as quietly as possible. 

She didn't wash her body or her clothes, the stench of the dried blood perpetually making its way into her lungs. 

The fried chicken Bobby brought back remained untouched. 

Emily dared to move only when she saw Dean opening up the second whiskey bottle of the night. She stood up, pretending to be confident and holding her breath to stop her sobbing. She walked to the table and slid the bottle away from Dean’s hands. Emily poured herself a big glass of whiskey and tentatively sat down next to Dean. 

He briefly looked at her, but didn't say anything. 

Emily looked at Sam's body. All she wanted was for him to pop up into her head and say something witty and wise, something along the lines of “you should talk with Dean, it will help”. Something that, she was sure, would have annoyed her. 

“Dean, I-” She tried to say.

“Shut up.” He immediately interrupted her, his knuckles whitening as he held his glass a little tighter. 

Emily looked at him. What was she thinking, sitting there like that? How could she ever even think for a split second of being normal siblings for one day? She stood up, nervous. “Okay, I'll-” she started, taking one step towards the main room. 

“GOD DAMMIT I SAID SHUT UP, NOT LEAVE!” Yelled Dean, grabbing her from her wrist and making Emily stop in the middle of the step, startled. She looked over to him, tears already filling her eyes. Dean let go of her wrist as if it was made of fire. “Sorry- Just… just sit down. Please.” His voice was filled with regret.

Emily made her way back to her chair. She took a deep breath. 

It's not a good time to fight.

It's not a good time to cry. 

She kept repeating in her mind. 

A couple hours of silence later, Bobby showed up again, with the same, cold, soggy chicken he had already offered them twice. 

They refused in unison. 

“You should eat something.” He said. Emily was trying to find a polite way to send him his way, but Dean had, of course, other plans. 

“I said I am fine.” He said, sharp. 

“Dean, I hate to bring this up, I really do,“ he said, putting down the chicken. Emily tried to signal him to stop, already knowing what he wanted to ask, but he either didn't see or ignored her. “But don't you think maybe it's time… we bury Sam?” 

A window basically exploded on Emily's right. Nobody even questioned or reacted to it, but Emily knew full well it was her. It wasn’t the first time she was having trouble controlling her powers when she was upset. 

“No.” Simply said Dean, going back to his glass of whiskey. 

“Maybe we could…“ 

“What? Torch his corpse? Not yet.” 

The glass in Emily's hand exploded, cutting her. She was only able to mutter a slight profanity before Bobby spoke again. “I want you to come with me, I don't think you should be alone.”

“I'm not alone, Emily is here.”

“Right, so instead of killing yourself, you kill each other? How is that of any help?” Dean stood up, but Emily immediately grabbed his jacket and dragged him back down. Surprisingly, he opposed no resistance and just fell back onto the chair. 

“Bobby, just go, okay? We'll be fine.” Said Emily, firmly holding Dean's forearm. The old man took two steps to the side of the door, so that only Emily could see him, and signaled her to come. She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, Dean scowling at her every step. 

“Listen, something is going down. Something apocalyptic. I could use your help.”

“Bobby, no. You are right, Dean shouldn’t be here alone. We'll be fine. Really. You go.” The man patted her shoulder and left. Emily went back in the room and sat next to Dean, who was sniffing and hiding his face. 

All of a sudden, Emily remembered what Sam said to her in the hospital, when Dean was dying. “Just do it.” 

It took her a big dose of courage, she wasn't even sure why it was so hard, but she finally put her hand on Dean's shoulder. At first, he seemed startled. He froze under the touch. But after a handful of seconds, she felt his body relax slightly and he put his own hand on hers. 

For a split second she thought that maybe… everything was going to be okay. 

When night arrived, the yellow-eyed demon appeared in front of her. She stood up, alarmed. Dean stayed exactly where he saw and when Emily checked again, she noticed that her body did too. It was like a weird dream. 

She instinctively pointed her gun at the demon. He smiled.

“Howdy, Emily.” 

She didn't answer, but kept pointing the gun at him, conscious that it would have done nothing. “You wanna put that away?” 

He stood there, silently, until Emily finally lowered her gun. “Congratulations, by the way. You are the last man standing. Again.”

“Bite me.” She said, bitter. 

“Oh come on, don't be like that. I was rooting for you!” 

“Did you at least have fun?” She snapped. “Was it really necessary? For Sam to die?” 

“I needed the strongest and I didn't want to settle for the silver medal. I want the golden champion, and that's you.”

“What do you even need me for?” 

“Oh, I got a laundry list of things for you to do…“

“Yeah right. As if I would follow any of your orders.”

“What are you going to do, kill me?”

“I don't know, I might.”

“You have failed once, what makes you think you would succeed this time?” He smirked. “Besides… If you help me, I'll help you.” He said. Pointing at Sam. 

“Define… help.” 

“I might bring your brother back. Imagine… all would be forgiven. Your brother Dean, you secretly idolize him, don't you?” Emily scoffed. “Darling, no need to lie to me, I see inside of you. Just imagine- He would forgive you for letting Sam die like this. Maybe… Maybe he might also tell you that he's proud of you. He might be just like the Dean you dreamt about in the djinn’s hallucination.” 

Emily swallowed, staring at Dean's frozen image, crying over his brother. 

She knew it was not a good idea, but it was still an idea. The only one she had all night.

If she could bring Sam back, all would have been forgiven, all would have been solved. 

“What do I need to do?” She asked. 

Emily closed her eyes one second too long and fell asleep. When she opened them again, Dean was not next to her anymore. She ran out of the kitchen doors and saw him about to leave. 

“Going somewhere?” She asked. 

“I-'' Dean tried to speak, but was interrupted by the door slamming behind him. That time, Emily did it on purpose, because she had seen what he had in his hand. She made sure she also made the key turn and flew directly in her hand. “What is that?!” He pointed at the metal box he was holding.

“None of your business.” He spat. 

Emily quickly walked over to him. “I have read every single book in this room, you think I don’t recognize it?” She said, enraged. “You are selling your soul, aren’t you?'

“It's my soul, I can do whatever I want with it.” 

“You sick…“ spat Emily, pushing Dean against the wall, adding a new adjective to each step. ”... unaffectionate, egoistic bastard.” Dean let the box fall when he finally hit the wall. Emily kicked it behind her. “Have you already forgotten how it felt when dad did the same for you?!” 

“You really don't understand, do you?!” 

“I don't-'' She repeated, exasperated, closing her left hand into a fist as she kept Dean pinned against the wall with the other one “What am I supposed to do, uh?” Dean rolled his eyes. “Just watch you kill yourself? The grip she had on him was getting so tight she lifted him a couple of inches off the ground.

“Honestly? I don't care.” He said, cold. Emily punched him. He barely reacted. She hit him again, bursting into tears immediately after. “Is this how much you really care about me?” She said, “What am I supposed to do once you die?” 

“You can go back to Portland and live your dream life, I don’t really care.”. Emily could not resist the urge of punching him yet again. 

“What about you stop trying to kill yourself?” She yelled. “The virus thing first, now this! What on earth has happened to you?”  

“Emily, you are the only thing standing between me and a world where Sam is not dead.”

“I swear to god“ Emily pushed Dean further into the wall, which she heard crack under the pressure. ”... you will have to step over my dead body to get out that door.” 

“Don’t… challenge me.” Emily threw Dean away from the wall and pushed him on the floor. 

“So that’s it, uh?” She said, trying her best to not get interrupted by her sobbing, which was slowly closing down her nose. “You’d rather have me dead than having to spend the rest of your life alone with me?” She tried to kick him in the stomach but only managed to get to his shins. “So much for being my brother.” Emily turned her back to her brother and leaned towards the window next to the door. She placed her head on the cold glass as she heard her brother stand back up. “Dean, there has to be another way!” 

“There isn’t.” 

“DID YOU EVEN TRY LOOKING?!” She yelled, turning to push him towards the opposite wall. His gaze suddenly turned to anger. “Or did you just go with the most self destructive solution of them all?” She was expecting a punch. She stared at him for a couple of seconds before starting to yell again. “LOOK AT YOU! Goddamit, Dean, I have been hitting you for ten minutes and you haven’t even reacted yet!”

“Don’t-” 

“STOP - TALKING!” She said, punching the wall next to Dean’s head. “The Dean I know would have punched me already- I SAID SHUT UP!” She screamed as he saw him opening his mouth again. “I DON’T NEED YOU TO TAKE ALL MY PUNCHES, I NEED MY BROTHER!”

“I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!” He finally snapped back. Emily’s body froze for a second, a window exploded and only then, she let go of him. Her face turned emotionless. 

It was all for nothing. 

She had been suffering for years, trying to bond, listening to Sam saying “You just need to get over the fear of getting attached to each other“ and trying to believe it, all for someone who didn’t even consider her family. 

“Right.” She whispered, drying her face. “Of course. How could I ever think something like that.” She took the key to the door out of her jeans pocket and threw it on the table. 

“You know what?” She continued, not even trying to hide her crying anymore. “Have it your way. Kill yourself. I don’t care anymore.” She swallowed the actual words she wanted to say. Just be my brother. I care about you. I can’t be alone right now. Don’t let me walk out that door. Please care about me.

She opened the door. 

Just say something. 

A word. 

Just one. 

Give me one reason to stay.

“It’s all your fault.” 

Definitely not the words Emily wanted to hear. 

She left the house and sat in the same stolen car she had used to go back there. 

She drove to Fall Parks and sat on a bench. 

That was it. 

That was the night she was going to kill herself. 

She had nothing left to live for. 

“Now, now, don’t be like that.” Said a voice next to her, startling her. The demon had appeared next to Emily. “I am sure it’s nothing bringing back Sam can’t fix.” He smiled suggestively. 

“No. I am not helping you.” 

“What are you going to do then?” 

“None of your business.” 

“Oh, come on, I am literally the only person who would talk to you right now.” He looked at her, sympathetically. 

“Very funny. Can you leave?” 

“I was thinking…“ he started, completely ignoring her request. “If you are about to kill yourself, why not die while trying to get your brother back? Maybe Dean could change his mind about you not being part of the family.” Emily finally met his yellow gaze. “Of course, bringing back Sam would be something so big… Dean would have no choice than to love you back, right? Damn, he might even start worrying about you just like he does for Sam.” 

Emily was unsure. Did she really want to have anything to do with Dean anymore? 

All she wanted for all of it to stop. To never have to worry about that again. 

To take a sharp object and trace a long, vertical line on her forearm. One that would last forever. 

“Emily, the life you have always dreamed about, the one where Dean always eats your pie and hugs you when you are down, the life where you are not the family disappointment… The key to get that is just to bring Sam back.” She swallowed, trying to rationalize what he was saying. “You would become Dean’s favorite. He would never dare to hurt you ever again.” 

Fuck it.

I'm so sorry, anon, you probably sent it ages ago, but I've only noticed it now, with the sudden influx of traffic to my inbox.

First of all, thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. It's very nice to read such a kind message about something I wrote quite a long time ago in a spur of the moment.

Second of all, I don't know if you've ever found it, because multiple post additions are admittedly not the best way to publish anything, but there was, in fact, a second part. You can find the full post with both parts here.

I have never advertised the second part more, because only after publishing it, it came to my attention that it's basically a rewrite of a scene from my (real life nad online) friend's much longer and much better fic Any Little Heartbreak. She wasn't angry (I hope), because 1) she's an angel, 2) we've known each other for a long time now, and she knows that my memory is basically, uh, very much not good. At the time, I was 100% sure I was just recreating a popular trope in medical au fics (I was reading tons and tons of deancas fics back then), but I must have been mistaken. The entire ordeal left me deeply ashamed of myself and my own smooth brain.

hi! i wrote a thing on ao3, beta'd by the magnificent @yourfinalbow! this is the first fic i've written and i really wanted to share it with y'all!

It had been raining all night. It had been raining when Dean got into bed, belly warm and full of the fancy-ass Cuban sandwiches he had made for dinner. It had been raining when Cas closed their bedroom door, finished with his nightly cup of chamomile tea. And it is raining now, as Dean opens his eyes to find himself alone in their room.

He sighs and rubs his hand down his face. The room is dark, but the faint light from the window is enough for him to find his way out to the hallway. The middle of May, as it turns out, isn’t actually very warm for where they live now. Dean reaches into the hallway closet and pulls Cas’ trenchcoat out. He knows that Cas isn’t going to wear it when Dean gives it to him, but it might keep both of them a little warmer.

Dean slowly opens the front door, not surprised to find it unlocked. Cas comes out here enough, and Dean’s just learned to go with it. Ever since life got mostly back to normal, Cas has been, well, a little restless. The transition from an angel of the lord to an old man whose hair is starting to go gray wasn’t an easy one. Sometimes Dean would lose Cas, searching high and low in their small town only to find him in a corner of the public library, reading a book to himself under his breath. Other times Cas would be sitting in the garden, inspecting the undersides of sunflower leaves. But at night, Cas would usually come out to the porch, no matter the weather. Sometimes he’d stay there for an hour, occasionally even two. Dean would eventually come out and coax him back inside. Neither of them minded, though. It was an excuse to breathe in the cool night air and just be.

read the rest on ao3!

tagging some mutuals under the cut(sorryyy :)))

There was so much noise.

The Empty just wanted to sleep, that's all. Since Jack exploded, the demons and the angels were talking so much. It had to stop, one way or another. So that's why the Empty quickly stood up from the throne. 

«This has to stop.»

There were some angels and demons standing in a circle around something. They were murmuring something like "How's possibile? or “He can't be...", but the Empty didn't hear so well their words. Ruby noticed it and made a sign to the others.

«Don't talk» she said.

«What's happening?» the Empty asked. Uriel tried to cover that something, but the Empty was angry, so angry. They had to be quiet again, somehow. «Nothing» Uriel answered, but it was a damn lie. The Empty slowly moved them away to find that something over them.

But what the Empty found out almost ruined all the knowledge, the experience, the years of the kingdom. It was something the Empty hadn't seen before, like, ever. That something was someone. That something didn't not have the angel's Grace like it should have had.

«Castiel... What's happening to you?» the Empty asked, astonished. Castiel looked at Meg, or at least, at her face, looking for some empathy, but without finding any. He was all alone there, without Sam, Jack and most importantly, Dean. He didn't know what to do and it was terrifying. He looked at the Empty with fear, his blue eyes so dark, the Empty asked itself how he could even see. He seemed so lost. His hands were trembling, barely covered by the trench coat. It was like all the light he had came off him. «My powers... I'm losing them.»

And so the Empty thought: "If he's losing his powers, it means... Oh no, no, it can't happen! Nobody can know it! I just want to go back to sleep”. But it was happening in the kingdom, so it was under its responsibility. 

«We'll fix you» that's all the Empty said.

«What's happening to him?» Uriel asked, truly worried about Castiel.

«He's just sick.»

«I thought we were already dead.»

«You're angels, angels get constantly changings.»

«You're lying.»

The Empty just grabbed Castiel, taking him away from them.

«Am I sick?»

«If being dumb is a disease, then yes, you are.»

Castiel didn't already understand what was happening to him, but the Empty knew it so well. It had to hide him or God would have found that there was something weird. Someone who was not supposed to be there. Yeah, that was not his place anymore. Castiel tried to escape from the Empty's grip, but he was tired, like he hadn't the energy anymore to do something. 

«What's happening to me? Just tell me! I can handle it! It can't happen something worse to me anymore» he said, with sadness in his voice. Thinking about Dean. About all the things he didn't tell him. His biggest regrets. Ruby was right: that was a really terrible place to spend the eternity in.

«You really wanna know? Well then, I'll explain it to you: you don't belong here anymore» the Empty said.

Castiel was surprised.

«W-why?» he asked, his heart beating faster. He still had it, it seemed.

«Because...» the Empty began to say, enjoying that moment, «you're turning into a human». Castiel looked at it with blank eyes.

«No...»