Me:

As requested

So the BMOL (British Men of Letters) kidnap and torture Sam for information and stuff, but Sam is like ‘I’ve been tortured by Lucifer, this is nothing.  Bro, do you even lift?’

Meanwhile Dean like all ‘Yo!  Cas, I’m alive and this is me ma.  Ma this is harp head’. 

And Mary gets the shock of her new life at all the Dean and Cas loving

Then it’s time to save Sam.  Luckily two of the finest killers alive are there to chase down the BMOL and protect Mary.   Except that a British lady kicks both their asses at the once, and we’re all kind of embarrassed for them.   So Mary like all mothers, had to do everything herself, takes down the foe and mourns her once clean hands

Dean gets captured with Sam but luckily Mick Davies wants Cas’ ass and helps them, oh yeah Mick Davies

Actually a lot of people want Cas’ ass this year

Castiel and Dean fight a whole lot, because Dean is worried about and mad at the bae but Cas will not take it lying down (in this context)

But then they still join forces against evil angels and throw bitchfits every five minutes because ‘I love you’.  Which Cas totally says to Dean, and there’s  mixtapes and Cas playing Dean in his room, and stealing Dean’s favourite toy.    It made Brokeback Mountain look straight (not really, but come on!)

Sam plays referee but he gets Eileen and there’s less drama, Saileen for the win!

They are cute and supportive and badass, made prank calls and basically rule

Except they kill Eileen and the fandom is furious!   #firebucklemming, we’re sick of this bullshit.  The bull is full of shit.  So I guess with Eileen being dead Destiel remains the undisputed power couple by default.  Whoops no, Cas died too, and Crowley, and Rowena

Fandom is mad beyond all reason, overkill on the kill.  (It’s gonna be okay guys....well for Cas anyway, bitch about the other three deaths all you want)

Oh, and Lucifer the human hater decides he wants a kid and does the do with a human.   After he and Crowley play a game of ‘Whos the Dom?’

The wee abomination (Jack son of the devil) sees Cas and is like ‘dibbs’.  Cas had been meaning to kill the kid, but then he’s like:

‘Maybe murdering innocent babies is wrong?’

And decides to play the role of the daddy, before he gets deaded, and after Kelly (baby mama) angelnaps him

Also Mary goes full Ripley from the Aliens franchise on Lucifer’s ass

Cas kills death, Sam and Mary get in bed with BMOL then take them down.  Bobby lives in the AU, and Dean gushes to some waitress about how hot Cas is...in front of everyone

Sam leads an assult on the BMOL and Dean hangs out in his Mum’s head and the Winchesters love each other to death (and past death, cause they die every five minutes)

Dean crouches over Castiel’s body. “No, please God, no.”

The skies open. Chuck descends from on high.

Without a word, God resurrects Cas, then irritatedly shoves him at Dean.

Married Life with Sam & Luci😈 ❤️

Castiel: Well I'm an angel with PTSD, depression and severe anxiety, due to a series of traumatising events and over exposure to the human condition

Castiel: I am in love with....humanity. Which at present feels like a one way street because I just want to give my all, including my life to save everyone and people read that as being selfish?? I don't even feel worthy of love or life, it's awful

How Sam maintains his physique 😈