#spille

Io tipo: << Grazie>>

Loro << Non è un complimento>>

Io<< Si, lo è, non tutti sono basic come te>>

I drown myself in alcohol because I see a road in front of me frequently, a road which was once travelled. Once where 2 birds flocked together, built a nest, one branch at a time on a tree that was soon to be cut down but little do these birds new, one of them wanted to build a home out of the nest and the another one made a temporary flight, the partner bird estranged suddenly. The estranged bird realized how easily his fellow mate replaced him once she found other nests to flock to.

The estranged bird, heartbroken kept flying and flying, aimlessly. He felt so crushed that it felt like as if his wings were clipped, his voice stolen and he couldn’t chirp. He blamed himself, he blamed himself to a point of making things right. Both birds were wrong, you cannot measure wrongness if true love is involved, but the partner bird never realized. The estranged bird worked on himself, he took the time to make things right and again flew towards that road a few months later. Chirping loud, restlessly, flying as fast as he could, he forgot that he was just a kingfisher but flew like a vulture, he chirped and chirped and saw the partner bird from a distance. Restless and tired, he spread his wings in relief but as soon as he was about to chirp to tell her that let’s rebuild the nest, he forgives you and also seeks your forgiveness he saw a lot of other birds around her. A lot of them, some of the faces were resembling, oh - they were his own people. Atleast he thought, they are, and he saw the partner bird didn’t feel anything he was feeling. What he saw was more heartbreaking, he flew half the way, only to realize that he has to fly back; he felt used, betrayed, broken, disturbed, crushed - but without chirping more because all the way while he was flying towards her she heard all his calls, she didn’t answer so he quietly turned back and flew away.

He realized he was used for a time. He was just being played around. He was just a pawn to her own needs.

This bird still flies in front of me exactly at that point, half way, there and it takes me away. I have a lot of silence suppressed that is very loud, it could be the loudest explosion one ever heard of, but I didn’t let it explode. I have realized how shallow and meaningless this world is. Everyone is focused on getting a negative reaction from someone who is silent, but don’t have the guts to ask for a positive reaction. This world will use you to drain you and then blame you why are you wrong for leaving? While they drained you while looking into the eyes every single moment and promised to fill you, and these people have an IQ less than a chimp. Driven by sex and drugs they point out other people who feel, who are real, who are courageous enough, who are themselves in this fake world. So he withdrew, but that bird, he keeps chirping in my ears, the estranged bird. While the other bird is comfortable in nests full of filth, deceit and drama.

I found long lost poetry. That I long to transcript, but I'm so tired.