Tom Holland Angst

Here it is!! This is a little different to what I usually do so fingers crossed that you guys like it! Please leave any feedback, I would love to hear what you guys think of it!! Happy reading, love you all xx 💖💖

TOM HOLLAND ANGST ONESHOT

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Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like grasping a rose tightly. It’s beautiful and overwhelming but if you hold it tighter it leaves you feeling unbearable pain. The love you have is so strong and overpowering you find yourself succumbing to it, you’re drawn to it as if it was a beautiful shining star in the night sky or if it’s just simply a drug, addictive yet dangerous.

The first time you met Tom was when he was introduced to you as your best friends new boyfriend. She was a bit of player, so the first thing you thought was that this guy, was not going to last long and would simply just be another one of her conquests. Unbeknownst to you, Tom had the power to change your best friends immature ways and he succeeded as the weeks went by. At first you didn’t see much of them, the couple were in what was called their “honeymoon” stage, where everything was just simply pure bliss and they were stuck in their own little bubble of love.

You were happy for her, knowing that Tom was the best thing to ever happen to her. It was such a joy, to watch her face light up at the mention of her boyfriends name, or to hear a small giggle escape her mouth whenever he calls her when she’s with you.

But a small part of you felt a sense of sadness. You couldn’t help but notice the many qualities of Tom over the couple weeks of knowing and forming a friendship with him. He was a perfect example of a gentlemen. He was respectful, took pride in how he looked, he was gentle, kind, loving, appreciative and now you were just rambling. He was everything you wanted and needed in a partner, but unfortunately he belonged to your best friend. If only you met him first, and maybe just maybe, you could’ve had a chance.

Only at this point, you only had a small crush, nothing big or important and something that could be easily brushed away or forgotten about in a matter of weeks. It was only a crush, thats what you thought. But that was definitely not the case.

You couldn’t quite pin point the exact moment, where you realised that your immature school girl crush, was anything but. Every time they cuddled, kissed or did anything that required showing affection around you, your heart throbbed against your rib-cage with a steady rhythm.

You werent allowed to feel this way. It was never meant to happen but you couldn’t help it. Your heart always wants what it wants, and there’s no denying that. It wasn’t fair that he was already taken especially by the person who you hold most dearly to your heart. Your best friend.

Thankfully you managed to keep your feelings under wrapped and well hidden. No one was aware of the love you held for Tom, already having chosen to bury it beneath your skin, making sure it would never escape to see the light of day.

It was a beautiful afternoon and the three of you decided to take a nice evening stroll along the river. Originally it was only going to be the couple, but they insisted you come along, the guilt of leaving you alone weighing heavily on their shoulders. After many protests from you, they both forced you out of the door, with nothing more than a huff from you.

You tried to play it off as you being lazy and not wanting to leave the comfort of your couch, but it was simply wanting to avoid the mishap of being the third wheel and having to watch them cuddle under the orange glow of the sky.

Trailing behind them slowly, hands clasped in front of you, you took in your surroundings appreciating everything that the Earth has to offer. London was beautiful, especially at sunset.

Without realising you caught up with Tom, who was standing gazing upon his girlfriend who was excitedly feeding the ducks down near the water.

You giggled at the sight, watching your best friend throw the stale bread towards the river where all the birds were frolicking and making a mess.

“She’s a dork” you laughed, shaking your head affectionately.

Tom nodded, his gaze falling upon you.

“She really is, isn’t she?” He smiled, a love sick expression forming on his face.

You both held eye contact, your head lightly tilting to the side, you smiled.

“A penny for your thoughts?” You whispered, the excited shrieking of your best friend echoing around the river.

“Have you ever been in love before? Like the kind of love that sweeps you off your feet, o-or the love that consumes your whole body and mind?”

You can tell that Tom is nervous by watching him bite his lower lip, a habit you have soon noticed after the first few weeks of knowing him.

“I- I don’t know” you stutter, caught off guard. “I don’t even know if that kind of love exists”

I’m lying.

“I think i do” He whispers, his shy gaze moving to look over at your best friend. You watch as his eyes soften, and his expression relaxes. He was in love, it was clear as day.

Maybe it was time for you to back away, and to leave for awhile. Maybe it was time to realise that whatever you were feeling was unhealthy and simply was only going to be a fantasy. Tom loved her, he really did even if he didn’t know it yet and you were definitely not going to get in the way of that. You didn’t belong, you were out of place and it was time to finally move on and to close this chapter of your life.

It was for the best.

“I’m going to head back.. if that’s okay” you hesitated, only receiving a nod as a reply. You watched as he was unaffected by your departure keeping his main focus on your best friend, the girl he was utterly and deeply in love with. You slowly walked backwards, taking in the sight of Tom before you. You wanted to remember everything about your first love, how he looked, dressed, smiled and laughed. You wanted to keep this as a distant memory but something to look back on and smile and appreciate every little feeling you had towards him. What you felt was love, a love so overpowering and full filling but your love wasn’t meant to be received by him, it didn’t belong to Tom. It belonged to someone else who would love and cherish you just as much as you would for them. It will be a much more powerful feeling, a love that would definitely sweep you off your feet.

You just had to look in another direction.

~~

Alternative Ending

Okay just before we begin, I have full permission from @spideybitey18 to make this alternate ending her currently on-going mini-series and she approves fully of my idea for this :)

This is to be read following part one. 

Warnings: angst, mentions of slight alcohol abuse.

An overwhelming sense of tranquillity overcame your body as you strolled towards the cerulean lake. The greenest of grass sat upon glorious mountaintops either side of the lake. You could feel the flowers beneath your feet as you walked towards the water. 

It had been quite some time since you had felt this calm, this free. The aching that entangled your body once before now seemed like a distant memory. All you could feel was warmth in your bones and weightlessness in your soul. Your eyes wandered to where the initials of your soulmate were written. 

TH. 

So this just happened because your story inspired me @spideybitey18 hope you like it, and there’s three because I couldn’t decide so yeah 😊.

Hey guys! After a few months, i am finally back with part 3!!! This is quite angsty and not a happy ending, but please let me know what you think! I LOVE YOU <3 <3

Harrison x reader

WARNINGS: Angst, Heartbreak, Not a Happy ENding, NOT EDITED

PART 1  PART 2

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Not What I Had In Mind - Part 3

You slowly carried yourself up to the apartment you shared with Harrison, your legs weak and frail as you held the railing for support. You were drunk and off your head, all of your emotions having been released from the bottle due the amount of alcohol you have a consumed in the last hour. You were now left feeling numb, and void of any emotions. Tom was following behind you, a little less drunk but not in his right mind.

You were both tired after the events of today, it was supposed to be perfect, a picture perfect dream but it turned out to be what was your worst nightmare. You finally reached the end of the staircase, where your small apartment was at the top of the building. It was nothing special, just a two bedroom apartment that was a little rundown, but had everything you and Harrison wanted to start your journey together as a married couple. You unlocked the door, pushing it open to reveal the darkened living room, where all of your wedding presents have been delivered, and scattered all over the room. A lump was formed in the back of your throat at the reminder that it will now only be you to send everyone not ‘thank you’ cards, but ‘I’m sorry that you had to spend and waste your money, but now I wont be needing this’ card. 

As if all the anger came rushing back, you strided towards the presents picking up random ones and throwing them around in frustration. How dare he, If he wanted to leave this way, the least he could do is fix up his own mess instead of leaving it with you.

Tom stood by the door, his blurry eyes watching your every move before he stumbled towards you. He grabbed a hold of your hands which was holding a very expensive vase. It had a beautiful pattern that would complement a nice bunch of sunflowers, you thought. Your eyes widened as he shook his head, his hands softly grabbing it out of your shaky grasp. You sighed, your eyes watering once again. Tom smirked down towards you, his hand gripping the vase tightly before he threw it against the wall, the glass breaking into millions of pieces like your heart. You gasped, your hand moving to cover your mouth. Without realising, a small giggle left your lips before you started completely laughing, your head thrown back. Tom soon joined in, both of your laughter joining together and bouncing of the walls of your empty apartment. You both kept laughing almost like you were insane, masking the true feelings that you held behind the happy façade.

A light knock from the door, interrupted the laughter. Tom and you both shared a look before walking towards the front door, curious as to who would come here at 2am in the morning. You weakly twisted the knob open, before opening the heavy door to reveal the last person you would think would show up after everything that had happened.

“Harrison?” You mumbled, your eyes widening at your fiancé.

He gulped, his eyes puffy and red. You took a good look at him, noticing that his expression held exhaustion, and his hair was dishevelled and out of place. He still wore his wedding tux, the tie undone from the constant pulling at it. You remembered how Harrison used to complain about how tight the tie would be, before pouting your way, asking you to fix it. It was annoying, but you loved doing it.

 Your heart pounded against your rib cage as he looked dashing and handsome, like always. He looked just like your Harrison, the love of your life. Minutes passed by as you both continued to stare at each other, basking in each other’s presence.

“I-I’ve come to pick up some clothes I’ve forgotten”

You slowly nodded in understanding, your eyes moving to look at the floor nervously. You still made no effort to move out the way, too stunned to even believe that Harrison was here, but not in the way you were hoping. Secretly, you wished he came back to apologise and beg for forgiveness, and you would’ve in a heartbeat, your love for him overpowering any other emotion.

“Y/N?”

You flinched at the sound of his voice, before slowly retracting back into the room, your dirty torn up wedding gown following behind you. Harrison’s eyes widened at the sight of your tattered dress, even though it was ruined beyond repair, you still looked beautiful, like a broken beautiful queen. He slowly stepped in to his apartment, noticing glass shards all over the carpet, a few opened presents thrown across the room and some still kept in their packages sitting by the couch, untouched. Tom cleared his throat, his brows furrowed disappointedly at his best friend. Harrison gulped, his eyes refusing to meet his best friends face.

Harrison quickly disappeared into your shared room to gather the rest of his belongings without another word or explanation. Your knees buckled beneath you before collapsing onto the carpet, your knees red with carpet burn. Your dress surrounded you in puffs, the waist feeling tight as you struggled to breathe, your throat closing up as tears threatened to spill.

He’s actually leaving me, you thought.

Tom watched as you struggled to get back up before joining Harrison in your room.

“Why do you have to leave?” you mumbled, your voice hoarse.

Harrison jumped, his back facing you as he continued to pack his clothes in his suitcase.

“W-what did I do wrong? Please tell me so I can fix it baby please”

Harrison still kept quiet, a sigh falling from his lips as he moved towards the bathroom to grab his toiletries. He wanted to make this quick, so he could leave as soon as possible. He was hoping that when he turned up here, you and Tom wouldn’t be here yet.

He came back into the bedroom, his hands full with his stuff before placing it into the suitcase. Out of frustration you came up behind him, your voice coming out with desperate with pleads.

“Harrison please I beg you, please don’t leave me.. I don’t know what I will do without you”

He slowly zipped up the suitcase, his eyes downcast.

“Please..”

He picked up the suitcase, before brushing past you without a word.

“Wait.. where are you going, please stay so we can talk about this..” You hiccuped.

You followed him out, your hand grasping his bicep to make him stop, but he was too strong. You didn’t notice, but he had tears in his eyes as well, ignoring you was the worst thing he could ever do, and it was hard.  

As the front door came into both of your view, Harrison sped up to escape. You became more desperate, stumbling over your dress as you cried, begging him not to go. Tom watched the scene unfold with a heavy heart, his gaze locking with Harrison’s. Harrison’s eyes were begging Tom to help, his crystal blue eyes more prominent with the tears. Tom nodded in understanding, knowing that this must be hard on his best friend too, even if he didn’t know the real reason. Tom met up with your pace, just as Harrison spun the door knob, ripping the door wide open to reveal the staircase.

You throat was raw from sobbing uncontrollably, your hands reaching for Harrisons suitcase in his hand as if that would stop him from leaving. Tom wrapped his hands around your waist, his strong arms pulling you back and away from fiance. You yelled in protest, your tears drowning your cheeks. You kicked and screamed, your arms grasping the air towards Harrison as Tom kissed and whispered comforting words into your ear to help calm you down. Nothing helped, your eyes watching as Harrison spun around to give you one final look, his own heart clenching at the sight of you in such pain.

“H-HAZ please don’t leave me” You sobbed, your tears mixing in with your mascara.

A tear fell from Harrison’s eyes as he watched your heart break even more.

‘I love you so much’, he mouthed watching as your face faltered and your cries subsided. He knew you got the message, his eyes watering further as your face scrunched up in further pain.

He turned around slowly, taking large breaths preparing for what was about to come. You watched him descend down the staircase, your body shooting forward in an effort to follow him, but your body was caged in Tom’s comforting arms, his grip tight and secure.

“Tom! Let me go! I-I need to follow him, please! I-I love him, I need him please let me go!”

You continued to sob, every cry begging Harrison to come back, but he never did.

Minutes passed and Harrison still hasn’t come back. Your body fell against Tom’s in exhaustion, your throat throbbing with pain. Tom whispered sweet nothings in your ear, his lips moving to press a kiss against your forehead. 

“I’m here darlin’, I’m here and im not going anywhere” He whispered.

You nodded limply, an occasional hiccup leaving your body. Your hand grasped a hold of Tom’s shirt, as you placed your head against his chest, listening to the beats of his heart, the sound oddly comforting you.

A stray tear fell from your eye, descending its way down your cheek before finding its destination on top of Tom’s hand that was holding yours. 

His hand flinched. 

“I’m not going anywhere” he repeated.

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HOLY SHITE! i wonder what the reason is, as to why Harrison has left!? Tell me what you guys think, and what maybe the reason he is leaving? Hope you have enjoyed part 3 :))

TAG LIST:  @allforholland @typicaltrashbagg @sweethosterfield @dottirose @madisonpillstrom