Just So You Know
Tom Holland Angst
Here it is!! This is a little different to what I usually do so fingers crossed that you guys like it! Please leave any feedback, I would love to hear what you guys think of it!! Happy reading, love you all xx đđ
TOM HOLLAND ANGST ONESHOT
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Loving someone who doesnât love you back is like grasping a rose tightly. Itâs beautiful and overwhelming but if you hold it tighter it leaves you feeling unbearable pain. The love you have is so strong and overpowering you find yourself succumbing to it, youâre drawn to it as if it was a beautiful shining star in the night sky or if itâs just simply a drug, addictive yet dangerous.
The first time you met Tom was when he was introduced to you as your best friends new boyfriend. She was a bit of player, so the first thing you thought was that this guy, was not going to last long and would simply just be another one of her conquests. Unbeknownst to you, Tom had the power to change your best friends immature ways and he succeeded as the weeks went by. At first you didnât see much of them, the couple were in what was called their âhoneymoonâ stage, where everything was just simply pure bliss and they were stuck in their own little bubble of love.
You were happy for her, knowing that Tom was the best thing to ever happen to her. It was such a joy, to watch her face light up at the mention of her boyfriends name, or to hear a small giggle escape her mouth whenever he calls her when sheâs with you.
But a small part of you felt a sense of sadness. You couldnât help but notice the many qualities of Tom over the couple weeks of knowing and forming a friendship with him. He was a perfect example of a gentlemen. He was respectful, took pride in how he looked, he was gentle, kind, loving, appreciative and now you were just rambling. He was everything you wanted and needed in a partner, but unfortunately he belonged to your best friend. If only you met him first, and maybe just maybe, you couldâve had a chance.
Only at this point, you only had a small crush, nothing big or important and something that could be easily brushed away or forgotten about in a matter of weeks. It was only a crush, thats what you thought. But that was definitely not the case.
You couldnât quite pin point the exact moment, where you realised that your immature school girl crush, was anything but. Every time they cuddled, kissed or did anything that required showing affection around you, your heart throbbed against your rib-cage with a steady rhythm.
You werent allowed to feel this way. It was never meant to happen but you couldnât help it. Your heart always wants what it wants, and thereâs no denying that. It wasnât fair that he was already taken especially by the person who you hold most dearly to your heart. Your best friend.
Thankfully you managed to keep your feelings under wrapped and well hidden. No one was aware of the love you held for Tom, already having chosen to bury it beneath your skin, making sure it would never escape to see the light of day.
It was a beautiful afternoon and the three of you decided to take a nice evening stroll along the river. Originally it was only going to be the couple, but they insisted you come along, the guilt of leaving you alone weighing heavily on their shoulders. After many protests from you, they both forced you out of the door, with nothing more than a huff from you.
You tried to play it off as you being lazy and not wanting to leave the comfort of your couch, but it was simply wanting to avoid the mishap of being the third wheel and having to watch them cuddle under the orange glow of the sky.
Trailing behind them slowly, hands clasped in front of you, you took in your surroundings appreciating everything that the Earth has to offer. London was beautiful, especially at sunset.
Without realising you caught up with Tom, who was standing gazing upon his girlfriend who was excitedly feeding the ducks down near the water.
You giggled at the sight, watching your best friend throw the stale bread towards the river where all the birds were frolicking and making a mess.
âSheâs a dorkâ you laughed, shaking your head affectionately.
Tom nodded, his gaze falling upon you.
âShe really is, isnât she?â He smiled, a love sick expression forming on his face.
You both held eye contact, your head lightly tilting to the side, you smiled.
âA penny for your thoughts?â You whispered, the excited shrieking of your best friend echoing around the river.
âHave you ever been in love before? Like the kind of love that sweeps you off your feet, o-or the love that consumes your whole body and mind?â
You can tell that Tom is nervous by watching him bite his lower lip, a habit you have soon noticed after the first few weeks of knowing him.
âI- I donât knowâ you stutter, caught off guard. âI donât even know if that kind of love existsâ
Iâm lying.
âI think i doâ He whispers, his shy gaze moving to look over at your best friend. You watch as his eyes soften, and his expression relaxes. He was in love, it was clear as day.
Maybe it was time for you to back away, and to leave for awhile. Maybe it was time to realise that whatever you were feeling was unhealthy and simply was only going to be a fantasy. Tom loved her, he really did even if he didnât know it yet and you were definitely not going to get in the way of that. You didnât belong, you were out of place and it was time to finally move on and to close this chapter of your life.
It was for the best.
âIâm going to head back.. if thatâs okayâ you hesitated, only receiving a nod as a reply. You watched as he was unaffected by your departure keeping his main focus on your best friend, the girl he was utterly and deeply in love with. You slowly walked backwards, taking in the sight of Tom before you. You wanted to remember everything about your first love, how he looked, dressed, smiled and laughed. You wanted to keep this as a distant memory but something to look back on and smile and appreciate every little feeling you had towards him. What you felt was love, a love so overpowering and full filling but your love wasnât meant to be received by him, it didnât belong to Tom. It belonged to someone else who would love and cherish you just as much as you would for them. It will be a much more powerful feeling, a love that would definitely sweep you off your feet.
You just had to look in another direction.
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