#spec rambles

- this show was so la jolla in ways i could never explain it

- likeeee during sodas letter, yes i was singing pony’s harmony that got cut out 😪

- caleb mathura you deserved to sing the outsiders la jolla

- anyways

- FUCKING RUNAKO

- that’s my best friend guys like no cap

- *signing my playbill, i tell her how great she was* “oh it’s so nice to see you again!” FAWKKK

- and it gets worse yall

- “i’ll see you next week! ☺️☺️” FAWKKKK like damn okay i’ll scrape my coins i guess you will 😒

- okay back on track now im so sorry yall

- cole’s debut was just heavenly omfg

- yall remember when i said i thought darry was already adjusted to the guardian role? and ponyboy was the only one still adjusting??

- not tonight. holy fucking cow. tonight darry was very much not adjusted

- “can i go to the drive in tmr night” “who you going with” maybe it’s just me but he really sounded more teasing than concerned(?)

- oh and also

- “it’s the only place they’re showing that new paul newman movie” “you and your goddamn movies” oh my boy sounded so frustrated ☹️ they had this conversation last week ☹️☹️ he’s so tired of his baby brother “seeking out trouble”

- darry and soda were talking a storm in ggah but unforch they were nawt loud enough for me to hear 💔

- but i did see soda offer darry his cig and darry hesitated before dismissing him ☹️☹️

- i couldn’t clap when cole first came on stage (because it’s such an awkward moment for applause yk) but i did make sure the people applauded ritf 🙂‍↔️ i made sure he got his tens ty

- darry and ace were making fun of soda during his part in ggah. oh my babies that’s his sister please

- omg his part in ggah?? that’s literally an older brother giving his sibling high school advice please guys

- his ritf is so beautiful omfg yes im gonna post it

- superstitious curtis brothers lives on btw all three of them looked “towards” the train horn and i think i darry turned first 👯‍♀️

- also i have cole a bunny darry at stagedoor and he loves him 🙏🏾🙏🏾

- when soda was comforting pony when pony was telling him abt his dreams, it lowkey sounded like my boy got choked up

- “i miss em a lot too” ☹️ like oh ok right right right i knew he gets nightmares abt them too i called that shit

- omg his ritf

- “some people tell me that i threw it all away” …somebody tell me whyyy he’s looking at the bills with a far away longing look before he continues into “now i wonder if they’re right at the end of the day”

- oh my poor baby is so bitter omg i don’t think ive ever seen a darry this bitter but also so great at hiding it

- OMG and when he says ponyboy looks up to darry like he’s king shit. yall istg he almost sounds jealous of dally like yall the fight they have later is so much better with that

- omg and the fight?? it was so racially charged like yes obvi but idk idk yall if i didn’t know my darry i would’ve thought he was soc

- IDK IDK

- omg im skipping around ik but

- during sodas breakdown scene when darry is telling pony he has to finish school and be the first curtis boy to go to college?? YALL PLEASE OMFG YALL PLEASE

- i couldn’t see bc of that fuckass tire but DARRY SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS GONNA CRY

- hes so upset he couldn’t go to college holy fucking hell

- and then when je was telling only he loves him, it got stuck in his throat :( “did you hear what i said? i said i… i said i love you”

- then he powered thru but he was using sodas as a crutch to keep going omg im sick

- cole zieser your darrel is going in the history books

- ooh wait not darry related but i don’t think i’ve mentioned it in my other notes

- my johnny is a hershey fiend

- my baby

- when dally offers the hershey he’s got this mesmerized look ohhh my poor sweet toothed baby

- omg also when johnny checks bobs wrist for a pulse

- ummmm do we think he learned to do that one of the nights when he couldn’t leave his yard

- sequoiia did my fav version of rrb. that’s not rly important but my heart is full and when i told him at stagedoor that i literally jumped in my seat he pointed at me and was like “it was for you” sir please gtfo my face

- oh and during little brother well at the end of it, when he ends on that long note into a scream, it really sounded like a scream tn idkidk

- omg also?? after ponyboy said his shirt smelled like winston’s i kid you not dally started crying. almost as if he realized (too late) that he still has something to live for. he still has people who care for him. ☹️☹️ he realized too late

- oh and pony was telling cherry what happened to johnny she said “not all those guys are bad” but she started off like she believed it then at “are bad” she was basically mumbling (as much as you can for live theater lmao) it like she didn’t even believe it

- nicholas’ cop has a name tag and it says bernard but nicholas calls him park ranger

the thing about ao3 is that it’s an archive. so you can search for whatever tf you can possibly want. with that being said, there’s not much smut at all in the fandom all things considered so what exactly are you searching for if that’s all your finding ??

and angst is so popular because hey get this the original story is angsty as hell. but there are non angst fics on there! let’s utilize the tagging system shall we? it’s incredibly easy to filter out fics tagged with angst and only filter in fics tagged fluff!

like i wasn’t gonna post this originally but im literally only 300 words in and im already tearing up and loving my own hair more. i’m def post this for the little black girls in the fandom idc idc.

like, it works, can confirm with photos below. i probably (likely) wouldn’t paywall the links to them either bc it was mostly a passion project so i wouldn’t mind sharing them yk. if anything it would be up for trades but at the same time, #accessibility idgaf who wants to listen to it yk 😭😭

ok i’m rambling but ! i’m gonna put a poll so if you’d want to listen to a lj or previews album then say yes !

oooooh it really just boiled down to me being drunk listening to a really really good audio one night lmaooo

like ok listen was bob a bad kid? yes. am I still empathetic about him like the story suggests we should be? also yes. but I also know irl there are hundreds of bob Sheldons and im sorry to say it but I wouldn't be in the least bit sympathetic towards them lmaoo

aksjsj sorry omg i fell asleep like right after posting my notes and have been out all day BUT

his darry is so young like omg. he also seemed like he was literally just finding his footing as a guardian so for all this to happen ☹️ ugh

and before pony started hitting him at the end, he was def like taunting him? for lack of better word. idk but he was def being an annoying yet obviously concerned big brother there !