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Alien Pilot: Hailing unknown vessel please respond, you have entered the atmosphere of a class five hazard planet.
Human: This is Pangu VI responding, what can we do for you?
Alien Pilot: Did you miss the warning beacons around the planet? It’s a class five hazard world covered entirely with lava fields.
Human: We saw them but we’ve planned for this drop off for a while now.
Alien: Drop off?
Alien: What are you-
Alien: Wait a moment, why do you sound familiar?
Human: I mean, I could take that as slightly racist with you thinking all humans sound alike; but at the same time I don’t know what you look like so we could’ve met before.
Alien: Hold on….what are you dropping off?
Human: Ice blocks.
Alien: Oh gods, you’re that human I spoke with about the desert planet turning into a jungle!
Human: Oh hey!
Human: You’re that alien who didn’t understand basic terraforming.
Alien: Are you doing more ice things?
Human: We actually are.
Alien: It’s a fraking lava planet!
Alien: Adding ice does nothing!
Human: I see all those years of space travel have turned your brain smooth because you are talking crazy.
Alien: What in the seven hells are you even talking about?!?!?
Alien: Any ice you add would be instantly flash boiled into steam!
Human: Yes, but the lava itself would also potentially flash cool and create obsidian.
Alien: If you say you are harvesting it to fight white walkers I will beat you will all nine of my arms.
Human: First off, I didn’t know you had nine arms.
Human: Second, that was dragon glass not obsidian.
Human: And thirdly, I’m genuinely impressed you even know what game of thrones is.
Alien: It was regarded at one point as the most culturally significant pieces of interstellar literature until he finished his final book at it all turned out to be a dream Bran was having while he was in a coma.
Human: What is it now then?
Alien: Toilet paper mostly.
Human: Acceptable.
Human: But circling back we actually are creating obsidian to create solid landmasses around the poles of the planet.
Alien: Why the poles?
Human: Statistically speaking the angle of the planets rotation, coupled with the thicker atmosphere in the area, will have the poles be cooler than the rest of the planet meaning that once the obsidian is formed in large enough quantities it won’t reheat from the remaining volcanic activity from the rest of the planet.
Human: From there, much like the desert planet, it’s just a process of continuing the process of depositing more ice to create bodies of fresh water capable of sustaining life and plant growth.
Alien: *sigh
Alien: Why are you doing this?
Human: From a cost effective standpoint it makes more-
Alien: No, I mean why in general are you doing any of this?
Alien: What can you possibly get out of investing trillions of credits into a terraforming project that could be done on another world for a fraction of the cost?
Human: *Leans in close
Human: *Whispers
Human: I’m actually trying to recreate Middle Earth from Lord of the Rings and this planet had the perfect mountain for Mount Doom.
Alien: What?
Human: Oh come on!
Human: You know fraking game of thrones but not lord of the rings?!
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If Steven Seagal was cast in Game of Thrones / House of the Dragon / an ASOIAF spin-off, where should their character hail from? Imagine you are the casting director for HBO.
The Wall & Beyond the Wall
The North
The Riverlands
The Vale
The Crownlands (King’s Landing) & The Westerlands
The Stormlands & Dragonstone
The Reach & Oldtown
Dorne
The Iron Islands
Essos: The Free Cities
Essos: Slaver’s Bay & the Outer East (Asshai, Yi Ti, Qarth, etc)
I have a unique answer to this
Voting ended onNov 22, 2025
If you need a guide for making a choice (read below):
1. The Wall & Beyond the Wall – A massive wall of ice stretches across the northern border of the continent. It is defended by the Night’s Watch, a sworn brotherhood made up of volunteers and criminals who give up their former lives to serve for life. Their jobs include guarding the Wall, scouting in the wilderness, and maintaining the fortresses along it. Beyond the Wall lies frozen wilderness of forests, tundra, and mountains. There, the Free Folk (often called wildlings) live in clans without lords or kings, surviving through hunting, raiding, or trading. Giants and other strange creatures also live in the far north.
Key Characters: Jon Snow, Samwell Tarly, Mance Rayder, Tormund Giantsbane.
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2. The North – The largest and coldest region of Westeros, ruled from Winterfell, a great stone castle in the center of the North. This is the land of the Stark family, one of the most important noble houses. The North is full of forests, tundra, and long stretches of snowy wilderness. It is sparsely populated, with mountain clans, coastal fishing villages, and marsh-dwelling families. People here are known for being serious, loyal, and bound by old traditions.
3. The Riverlands – A fertile region of rivers, farmland, and castles located at the center of Westeros, ruled from Riverrun by House Tully. Because of its central location, invading armies almost always march through here, leaving the countryside exposed to destruction. The Riverlands are dotted with smaller castles, villages, and farms, as well as inns and mills that rely on the rivers.
Key Characters: Catelyn Stark (born Tully), Brynden “Blackfish” Tully, Walder Frey, Edmure Tully.
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4. The Vale – A mountainous, wealthy land ruled from the Eyrie, a castle perched high in the mountains and considered almost impossible to capture. The Vale has fertile valleys, but its people are largely cut off from the rest of the continent by its steep mountain passes. Many of its nobles are proud of their ancient bloodlines. The Vale is also home to mountain clans, small groups of raiders who live outside noble control in the high passes.
Key Characters: Lysa Arryn, Robin Arryn, Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish.
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5. The Crownlands (King’s Landing) & The Westerlands – King’s Landing is the capital of Westeros, the largest city in the realm, and the seat of the Iron Throne, where the king rules. It is crowded with nobles, merchants, guards, commoners, and beggars. The city is known for its mix of wealth and poverty, political intrigue, and frequent unrest. To the west lie the Westerlands, ruled from the fortress of Casterly Rock by House Lannister, the richest family in the realm. Their wealth comes from gold mines, and they use it to fund armies and influence politics in King’s Landing.
6. The Stormlands & Dragonstone – The Stormlands are coastal lands constantly battered by violent storms, ruled from Storm’s End, a huge fortress famous for its strong walls. The people here are tough and battle-hardened. Just offshore lies Dragonstone, a volcanic island with a black-stone castle carved into the shapes of dragons. Dragonstone was once the seat of House Targaryen, the former royal family who conquered Westeros with dragons centuries ago.
7. The Reach and Oldtown – A rich and heavily populated region ruled from Highgarden by House Tyrell. It is known as the “breadbasket” of Westeros because its fertile lands and vineyards produce much of the realm’s food and wine. The Reach is also famous for its knights, who value pageantry and tournaments. Oldtown, one of the oldest and largest cities in Westeros, is a major port and home to the Citadel. The Citadel is a school and headquarters where maesters—educated men who serve as healers, teachers, and advisors to noble families—are trained.
8. Dorne – The southernmost region of Westeros, ruled from Sunspear by House Martell. It is a hot, arid land of deserts, mountains, and coasts along the Summer Sea. Its culture and laws are different from the rest of the realm, partly due to its Rhoynish ancestry (a people who migrated from a distant river kingdom). In Dorne, women can inherit titles the same as men, and attitudes about sexuality and marriage are more relaxed compared to the rest of Westeros.
9. The Iron Islands – A group of rocky islands off the western coast, ruled from Pyke by House Greyjoy. Farming is poor here, so the islanders survive mostly through fishing and raiding the mainland. Their society is built around seafaring and a religion dedicated to the Drowned God, which teaches that “what is dead may never die.” This faith emphasizes drowning as a ritual and glorifies taking wealth by force rather than working the land.
Key Characters: Balon Greyjoy, Theon Greyjoy, Asha/Yara Greyjoy, Euron Greyjoy.
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10. Essos: The Free Cities – Across the Narrow Sea lies Essos, a vast continent of independent city-states. Each city has its own culture: Braavos is known for trade, banking, and a secret guild of assassins called the Faceless Men; Pentos is ruled by wealthy merchant princes; Volantis is an ancient port with large temples and a reliance on slavery. The Free Cities are filled with mercenaries, sailors, traders, and exiles from Westeros.
Key Characters: Arya Stark (in Braavos), Tyrion Lannister (in exile), Jorah Mormont, Illyrio Mopatis.
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11. Essos: Slaver’s Bay & the Outer East – Farther east along Essos lies Slaver’s Bay, home to the cities of Astapor, Yunkai, and Meereen. These cities are built on slavery, with ruling families owning large numbers of slaves. Astapor is also known for training the Unsullied, soldiers who are taken as boys and brutally trained into an elite army. Beyond Slaver’s Bay are the grassy plains of the Dothraki Sea, where the nomadic Dothraki horse-lords live in mobile camps, raiding and trading across the land. Even farther east lies Qarth, a wealthy trading city, and Asshai, a mysterious port associated with dark magic and shadowy practices.
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✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
