#southsider

A/N: Waaay overdue, sorry about that. I had something written but I wasn’t happy with it and ended up scrapping the whole thing and starting again.

You and Fangs continued to talk in class. The work always got done but with you teaching him it was finished faster, leaving you time to chat near the end. Fangs was learning more and more about you and everything he heard, he liked. He listened more than he talked which was unusual for him, but he was interested. You never really opened up and even though it was just your likes and dislikes, it was still significant to him.

A few weeks went by (exactly eight chemistry lessons together) and at the end of their Monday afternoon session, Fangs continued to talk after the bell had rung.

“Hey, do you want to sit with us at lunch tomorrow? Me and my friends, I mean.” He said it casually but meaning was weighted on every word. After such a short time he was growing to care about you, but he knew that if you didn’t get along with the other Serpents, it would be a deal-breaker. Fangs was loyal to the core, even if it killed him.

“Um, okay,” You said in a soft, hesitant voice. Talking in chemistry was just fine, but sitting together outside of lessons was different. As soon as that happens, the bright red name tag reading ‘ACQUAINTANCE’ gets ripped off, replaced with a new one that hasn’t even been written on yet.

After agreeing, you rushed out of the room to your last period, cheeks turning pink as you walked.

Fangs, however, was smiling. A small, hopeful smile that wouldn’t leave his lips even throughout math 一 something he was teased for immensely by Sweet Pea. But he didn’t care. Soon you’d see the side of him that he was truly proud of, and he couldn’t wait.

“Hey, y/n, over here!” Fangs called from across the cafeteria. The Serpents never usually sat inside, but this time of year it was too cold and they were all squeezed onto one table in the crowded lunchroom.

For the most part, you’d stayed within your comfort zone in terms of clothes 一 same worn boots, jeans and earphones 一 but you’d tried to change things up a bit by swapping out the usual grey hoodie with a frayed purple sweater that was just a little too big for you. You tugged at the edges nervously as you made your way to Fangs’s table.

“Budge up, Pea,” Fangs hissed, practically shoving him off the bench to make room for you. “Guys, this is y/n.”

A girl with pink waves and an endearing smirk leant forward on her elbows as if to get a better look at you, “So you’re the girl Fogarty won’t shut up about? Toni Topaz, by the way.”

The tentative blush on your cheeks rapidly turned into a deep red. “Maybe, but who knows?”

“That’s true, you could be some cyborg out for our destruction, ” She joked.

You cocked your head, “Didn’t you just describe every Northsider ever?”

That was met with howls of approval from all around the table, you hated the way most people treated Southsiders anyway and this seemed to be winning you some points.

“So you don’t live on the Northside?” Someone asked.

“Technically I do, but only just. I live basically right next to the tracks. I’m a few metres away from being a Southsider.”

You usually avoided telling people about where you lived; it painted you as a poor girl. It’s not like a house by the rails is particularly luxurious. But things were different with the Serpents. You couldn’t say things like that to anyone at Riverdale High, but the Serpents might be the only ones who would actually understand.

Lunch break wore on and now that you’d met his friends, Fangs felt like you were closer to him. In a way, you were more real. He’d spent the past few weeks wondering what you were like outside of lessons, and he’d built something up out of everything he knew about you. But now, with you more present, it was as if the girl he’d drawn out in his mind was leaping off the page. A true, tangible person whose laughter reminded him of sunshine, and whose annoying habits made him smile.

The bell rang, interrupting Fangs’s thoughts.

While everyone packed away, Fangs came close to you and spoke softly in your ear, “It’s a shame about those few extra metres, Southside High missed out.” And he took a risk. The moment you turned to face him, he winked and spun around to leave.

You stood there blinking for a while, wondering what the hell just happened. Your heart beat faster at the memory of his breath on your skin, the caramel sound of his voice in your ear. It was as if he was invading every chink in your armour just by getting close. But you needed to ignore it. You knew Fangs was prone to not-so-harmless flirting, and you couldn’t get yourself mixed up in that. You slung your bag over your shoulder and strode to your next class, pushing all thoughts of Fangs away.

As best you could, anyway.

Masterlist

like ian’s hypersexuality, which presents itself during a manic episode, the allure of drugs is not lost on him. the reason he seeks them out is because of the thrill that can come from certain drugs. take that thrill and mix it with the poor impulse control that comes with a manic episode, ian sees no reason not to do drugs. he also won’t listen if someone tells him not to do something, and in many ways, that pushes him to want to do it more.

as a result, he gets addicted, but not necessarily to the drugs themselves, rather, he gets addicted to the feeling the drugs give him. during a manic episode, the drugs will numb his body and allow him to experience things without worry. he simply enjoys the freedom that comes with the numb sensation.

i should also note that drugs don’t just appeal to him when he’s dealing with a manic episode. ian also finds drugs to be extremely beneficial when he’s going through a depressive episode. why? the drugs help numb his brain, which is a big deal for him. his brain is constantly buzzing with activity.

additionally, he finds that anything to help numb him is better than always feeling like he’s on unstable ground. being bipolar doesn’t make him an addict, he is an addict because he chooses to go back to the drugs for the numbing feeling. in ian’s mind, feeling numb still allows him to live his life, meanwhile, the medication to treat his bipolar reduces a lot of what he enjoys about life.

i should also say that when ian is fully medicated, the desire to go back to drugs is still with him. it never fully goes away, but it gets easier for him to say no. for example, we see this with alcohol, where he learns to limit himself or say no altogether. when it comes to drugs, he can say no as long as he isn’t in an environment that could cause a relapse. it also helps if he has someone around to help keep him in check.

𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ★ always accepting!

the short answer is he hates both.

now the real answer is, that the starting medication made him feel horrible. as he told debbie, being on those medications made him feel like life wasn’t worth living, but that’s because ian didn’t give them enough time to work before he flushed them down the toilet. he felt the side effects and instantly hated the way they made him feel without giving them a chance to make him feel stable. truth be told, he was afraid of who he might become if he was stable.

all of that was his fault and Ian knows it. once he tried again, with the push of those around him, he started to see the benefit of the medications. that to say, he does miss the times when he was more carefree, the times before the medications. however, he does his best to remain on the medications to avoid going back to the hospital. he hated the hospital more than the medicine.

while ian would rather not have to be medicated for the rest of his life, he does realize that when medicated, it makes his mood easier to handle. not only that, when he feels a manic episode or a depressive episode come on, they are easier to deal with and don’t last as long, which means ian gets more chances to live out his life and not be controlled by his disorder. that scares him. he’s so accustomed to the disorder controlling him and not feeling like he fits in with others that when it doesn’t and when he can fit in, it seems out of place.

he would never wish any of this on anyone, he also wishes he could be normal without medication or the stain on his record that states he spent time in a hospital for his mental disorder. he feels like he has to keep his head above water and keep those feelings to himself, but occasionally, he might let it slip that he doesn’t enjoy his medicated life.

𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ★ always accepting!

it wasn’t like he had done anything wrong ( at least, that was what kash told him ). not only that, while he & kash were casual about their hookups, they had been smart about them as well. now, it felt like any consideration about being smart was just for show.

his stomach dropped as he heard the front door open, a quick turn of his head away from the TV allowed him to see @southsider. ian looked back to the TV & pretended to be focused on whatever was playing. he lowered his finger from his mouth & placed both hands on his legs. if he was lucky, maybe the one would stop bouncing.

“ back already? i thought you’d be at karen’s for longer ... like the whole night or some shit. guess i was wrong. ” he said trying to keep the conversation casual.

starter call ★ accepting, mutuals only!

seeing him at her place of work was hard enough, but it was even harder when she noticed how happy he was. the people he surrounded himself with were all happy too, but more than happy, they represented everything mandy wasn’t. everything she knew she could never be. knowing that should have been enough to make her stiffen up, walk away entirely, or find a way to make her heart calm down. could he hear it? surely, he could, it was so fucking loud.

mandy swallowed. “ i – is there anything else i can get for you, sir? ” it pained her to remain so casual with him. to treat him like any other customer, or worse, a stranger.

her heart ached. why did he have to show up there of all places? of all nights? she wanted to scream. not even the noises of the place could drown out the constant beating of her heart. she could feel her stomach twist the longer she looked at him, but moving was out of the question. her feet felt glued to the floor, which made her grip the coffee mug tighter.

she wished he would go back to his table. why was he still standing there? why did she care?

𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 ★ accepting, mutuals only!

the word favor, combined with gallagher, usually meant one thing & one thing only. someone was in deep shit of their own making. ian tried to ignore that fact while he lowered dishes into the bucket at his side. he glanced briefly at his older brother; a heavy exhale escaped through his nose as he shook his head. he wanted to walk away, but his feet refused to move. he felt his eyebrows fold against his forehead as he put another cup into the bucket.

“ yeah? what’s up? did the old lady you’ve been fucking finally get to ya, or is there some other shit going on that i don’t know about? ” his tone was laced with irritation. he couldn’t help himself, there was a gnawing at the back of his brain trying to pull him under. if it wasn’t for his meds, ian would’ve easily given in & allowed it to take him to one end or the other.

instead, he was medicated & working.

ian licked his lips. “ i go on break in five minutes. how about you take a seat, order a coffee or something & we’ll talk. ” no matter what happened, ian couldn’t turn his back on lip. they were gallaghers & gallaghers stuck together through thick & thin ( which was more than frank or monica could say ).

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐬 ★ accepting, mutuals only!