I try, really hard to get my life in order and have it go my way for a bit⦠and things just keep getting slapped in my face.. I work really hard, I try and do things out of my comfort zone and I even try different things to see if they have different outcomes.āØNothingās workingā¦āØThe one time (probably until after summertime) that was supposed to be my āget away from everythingā weekend, started out with a really bad time and just got worse throughout the evening/night.āØIāve been trying and working really hard for happiness, my own happiness⦠And nothingās working.āØIām trying to be strong, I really am, Iām trying to be better. Iām trying to be who and what I used to be, back when I was happy. Iām trying to be stronger, for not only myself but, for those around me too.āØIām even worse off than I was before the convention⦠I just wanted a getaway from my problems for just a few days, thatās all I wanted⦠I wanted to have fun.. Iām back in debt, because I wanted to be helpful to some people and because I felt I kind of deserved a very small holiday after everything that had been happening..āØGuess I didnāt even deserve that.