#sort me

ME AS KID I made so many mistakes without meaning to, for example… ~ Once in kindergarten other kids had created something with building blocks and because no was there anymore, I believed it was alright to destroy it. Well, it wasn’t fine, and after I got scolded, I felt bad and tried to create something even better for the other kids. I think they reluctantly forgave me because I put so much care into it.

Hm. This could be almost anything, really. An understandable, honest mistake, especially when you're y'know. Five. And wanting to fix the mistake, that's just a human thing. I guess you could say that putting a lot of effort into re-creating the work versus socially engineering the situation is a little Prep-Work secondary? Maybe? It probably just means that you were more comfortable doing a single-player thing vs multi-player thing with your secondary.

~ Once I was on a 12-metre diving tower and when it was my turn a boy asked me if he could jump before me and I agreed. But then I became impatient and just jumped on impulse. I landed on top of the boy and could only recently talk about my guilt regarding that and how I feared I might have hurt him permanently or could have killed him in the worst-case scenario.

That's a lot of guilt for another thing that was not your fault. You were a kid playing around. It happens. If anything, I think it's the fault of whoever was supervising the pool. You're using the the metric system and have British spelling quirks, so I know you're not in the same country as me. But I gotta think that it's a thing to have a lifeguard, parent, teacher, or at least some upperclassman or older sibling keeping an eye on a 12-foot high jump. Even for like, legal reasons. If you had accidentally hurt the boy, someone would have been legally liable, and it wouldn't have been you.

~ I was very possessive about the playtime with my sisters and normally they’d leave me as soon as the neighbour kids wanted to play with them. One time one of my sisters chose to continue to play with me and I was over the moon that for once I was chosen as priority.

~ I made sooo many lists; for example about what names I wanted to give possible future pets or what I had named every single one of my stuff animals.

Lists... I tend to associate those with Bird, all things being equal. And the rest of this, especially the examples that you decided to pick... do kind of support an Idealist primary read. There's this really strong, almost overwhelming focus on morality and guilt, possibly one that's even left you a little afraid to act, and with little bit of a tendency to take yourself out of the equation and make other people (your sisters, the boy on the slide) more important than you. Which is something that's maybe more of a Burnt Bird primary thing, but Burnt Lions do it too. Especially because Burnt Lions are really big on modeling other primaries.

LOW STAKE PROBLEM SOLVING Just play and find out the rules and possibilities as I continue without giving in or up and without relying on a guide (because that takes away my joy). I also tend to imprint on the first method that works for me.

Sounds like an Improvisational secondary (Lion or Snake.)

I also like to stay off the radar and play the invisible that one no one takes notice of, while silently going for the win.

I mean, *stereotypically* that is extremely Snake Secondary behavior.

For my stories I first need loooooootttssss of worldbuilding and character descriptions and later I add and change many details because it fits better but I needed that base to start at all.

Okay. So I know this looks like Prep-Work secondary behavior. BUT. One thing I do hear a lot from Improvisational secondary writers is that... it's a lot more fun to go in and mess with something that exists. ("Play with toys that are already there.") And that's honestly what this sounds like. Not worrying about the outline. Just figuring out your world, your characters, letting them go bounce off each other, and then when it's written - go back and structure it out retroactively. Of course, you might totally have a Bird secondary model if you find worldbuilding really fun.

I don’t shy away from asking strangers for directions, but you could never catch me trying to do small talk.

Yeah, you're definitely more Single-Player.

MY FANTASIES ~ As a kid one fantasy was that my stuffed unicorn would come and bring me away from school and the people bullying me there. They’d realize how incredible my companion was and how they couldn’t compare before I’d fly away with my unicorn and would never have to return.

Been there. VERY relatable. So relatable, in fact - especially with that detail about everyone realizing how special you are - that I'm tempted to sort you as Lion just on the basis of that alone. Young Lions are very susceptible to "chosen one" type stuff.

I wonder though. Because like... it's the unicorn that's the special one. The fantasy is really you having a wonderful, amazing friend. Which goes back to that story earlier, about being just over the moon that your sisters wanted to play with you instead of the neighbor. Is it possible that you're a Loyalist with a very small community? Or a Snake? That would keep the "internal primary" energy of 'I don't need you people. One of these days I'll just leave.'

~ As teen I fantasized about living alone in the woods, far away from any humanity, completely and utterly free. I’d be my own hero without needing anyone else.

Sounding very Lion there. Maybe your fantasy leveled up, and you started being able to think of yourself as the hero, instead of the hero's friend.

~ Now the fantasy would be big house in peaceful nature, where I can give children who ran away from their homes a temporary place to stay, protect & help them to become independent until they can stand on their own two feet. Ah, and I’d love to be a hobby author in the meantime.

So we've got one more level to the fantasy. Now it's like... the fantasy is to be the wonderful friend you wished you had as a child. I've always thought that there's a lot of truth to the sentiment "We become the person who would have saved us." Maybe that's what's going on here. I still think Lion though - there's not enough focus on individual loyalties to be Snake and while this whole Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children thing does revolve around a community, it's one that you caretake, not one that you're part of. Very Paragon Lion.

A CHARACTER I IDENTIFY WITH Xiao Lanhua (LBFAD) She’s so vibrantly herself in that messy, fuck-around-and-find-out way. I adore how she’s utterly confident in her own feelings.

Oh. Lion. Lion primary all the way. Of course you'd like a character like that.

There is one scene where another character leads her to the place, where her clan was massacred, telling her that the culprit is her love interest. This is basically her answer: “I tried to feel the sadness of this place, but I couldn’t. I’ve felt it only once (with the people of her love interest). What is real in this world? I only know, I love him. This is real. He loves me. This is also real. And this is who I am and not this person you all want me to become.” THIS vibes so much with me.

To a Lion primary, the realest Real thing is what what you feel about things. That's the bedrock, and that's what this quote is about.

Also in the start she’s a powerless fairy who is content with a low-rank-position, convinced that this is her place. And as the story continues, she becomes like: Watch me stopping whole wars, going through tribulations to earn the position besides the one I love and the recognition of his people. (It resonates with me, because I’m currently also learning that yes, I can handle responsibilities… somehow everyone trusts me far more than I myself. But even so, I won’t back down.)

I think your timeline of fantasies shows that really, really well.

WHAT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL ~ When I’m able to assert myself and my standpoint

Lion primary

~ When I’m able to successfully achieve something on my own without having needed the help of others

I think this probably points to a very strongly single-player secondary. You've consistently been uncomfortable with multi-player, this whole submission.

~When I get others to smile, especially ones who hardly do. ~ When people thank me earnestly.

This... I think is human stuff. I'd be more unusual to *dislike* being thanked.

THE MOST DIFFICULT TIME IN MY LIFE I was the problem child in the family as I skipped school & had social problems. Then my mom got health problems, and we all had to help in the household. At some point my dad called me ‘a nobody’ to my face (he was angry, but otherwise clear minded and he’d also implied this message a few times before) and fourteen-year-old me took it at face-value and let it grow and fester inside of me. That was when I decided to run away from home (after all, if I was ‘nobody’, then if I was gone, ‘nobody’ would be missed as there wasn’t ‘somebody like me’ in the family). So, I planned out my escape, did research on the internet, thought about what I might need, how I would leave without making anyone suspicious, bought a train ticket and then left my home and waited for the train. Minutes before the train arrived, I called my mum - thinking, if she doesn‘t answer, I‘ll leave and I‘ll stay if she doesn‘t want me to go. She didn‘t want me to leave and so I stayed. But for years I still fantasized about running away, but never acted on it again.

Hm. You sound some flavor of neurodivergent. Your escape plan is very... you know, planned. (And pretty much every neurodivergent person built a bird secondary as a coping mechanism.)

The way you talk about your decision-making process here does seem... much more Bird primary than Lion primary. Very "if x is true about me, then y must be true also." You're a little *detached.* Same thing with the "well I guess I'll ask my mom." You're treating it almost as an experiment. But I still don't think this is just a straight Bird secondary. What I suspect is that your Lion primary Burned enough that you started modeling Bird primary, as a coping mechanism. Which is why the two seem... kinda mixed together. But all your fantasies and positive associations are very Lion flavored. AND your Bird seems to come out more when you're in trouble, and not sure of yourself.

MY FAMILY I adore my family to bits and pieces despite the difficulties (partly also because of the difficulties as they knitted us closer together). My dad is a double bird with science deeply rooted into his belief system and lots of tools. He also immediately accepted my behaviour as soon as I was diagnosed with Autism.

Yep, this helps explain where your Bird models came from. Burnt Lions will often start adopting primary of some confident force in their life that really seems to... know what they're doing.

(Even so, the ‘nobody’-comment stuck with me and only thinking about it made me cry for years. Later I did talk to my dad about it and was able to settle that matter. My dad knows he was wrong, tries to make up for it and never said something like this again. But I know I’ll break all contact if something like that happens again. I’m only currently finding myself and I’ll be damned if I let anyone drag me back into this hell!)

I'm glad you... kind of resolved this with your dad. But what I'm hearing is - I'd rather be alone and free than have a community I think I need to compromise and bite my tongue for. That's very Lion.

I’m not sure about my mom, maybe snake, maybe bird? Like, she tells me, I should try and make more contacts outside of my family to have someone I can talk about and relate with when she and my dad are gone, though as long as she is still here I can always come to her. She helps very much, so I guess badger secondary, but she knows her boundaries very well.

I get that you're a very solitary person, and maybe it's my own Badger talking, but I do agree with her. Human beings are pack animals. And something like this, reaching out like this, is hopefully helpful.

I think both my sisters are badger primaries. One with a bird secondary and the other I think partly lion, partly badger. They’re awesome but I’ll never understand how much time they invest in their big friend groups. I adore my me-time for myself far too much and am VERY protective about it.

As my family is very educated and I mostly only fiddle with my few interests, I often seem to lack common knowledge that everyone else in my family has. That makes me feel stupid at times and as if I should learn more, but I honestly only want to spend my time on the things I like.

I mean, autism, special interest, preferred task, I hear you.

My fam often says that I’m their peacemaker,

Are you the middle child? You seem like the middle child, and this is a very middle child comment.

but I don’t know. I tend to fuck up too many situations (especially socially ones) because I just tick differently from lots of other people.

You also seem to (historically) blame yourself when you don't deserve it.

Yea, I like peace and I don’t want to shatter it, only if it’s important and even then, I try to stay kind while being right. But sometimes this makes me feel as if I’m not authentic enough or if I’m too cowardly to be honest and that’s often followed by guilt. I’m not quite sure, but I think I relate my autism with being authentic because now I can finally be authentic with my diagnosis backing me up.

There is a sort of weird gift to autism, because you are almost *forced* to be authentic. There are definitely times in my life where I masked like crazy, where I would have given anything to be able to choose to be weird, instead of just being weird. But... autism is going to step in, and have its say.

But that in turn makes me fear that if I’m not honest enough, I don’t have autism and then, where would that leave me and my relationship to others? Would they start seeing me in a negative light again? Part of me knows (hopes), they wouldn’t, that it shouldn’t be relevant to WHO I am, but somehow, I still can’t shake of that thought. Might have to talk about that with them. At some point. That’s it from my side, sorry for ending on a rather depressing note. Wishing you all the best.

Don't worry, you're fine.

I mean, for one thing, not being 'honest' enough doesn't mean that you don't have autism. My relationships where I can be truly honest are ones I treasure, because much of the time... it's just not something I find particularly useful or safe. You learn to be better at people, you arrange your life to suit yourself better. And in my experience at least, I don't think that a diagnosis *really* effects how people treat you all that much, socially. I mean, your behavior hasn't changed. If they were going to be weird about it, or not respect your boundaries without a diagnosis, then chances are a diagnosis isn't actually going to change that.

You read as a pretty loud Lion primary to me. So loud that I actually don't know if you're a Lion secondary as well, or if your Lion primary is just sort of coloring those interactions. Also, because you are so solitary, the Lion and Snake secondaries are going to look more much similar than they would normally. Some of your video game behavior leans Snake, but there's also an emphasis on honesty and a dislike of lying that leans more Lion. I'd want to look at some more instances of problem solving, because it could honestly go either way.

Thank you to O for such an excellent submission. If you’d like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

For me, it's a simple 'sort me' post. Like the one you'd submit to @wisteria-lodge. If you have some rough idea about your primary, you'll know exactly which primary you are. I'd leave it a day or two before reading it again objectively.

I do feel 'Badger' and 'Snake' because I love my people. But all my motivations are driven by 'what hill to stand on' which isn't how Badger and Snake think. If someone I love do something I consider unforgivable, I'll cut them out without a second thought. Like how my friend called me a "f****t", I cut him out of my life right then and there. I love him and he is a very good friend to me. But the moment he uses this word, he violates my sacred rule. I will not allow anyone to pull this type of shit on anyone. If he does it, he doesn't deserve me, period.

Okay, first and foremost: you were doing good. And in my book, in this random stranger on the internet's book, consistently doing good is all that matters. I'm not as interested in what you think in your head as I am in your actions. If you bring me a cookie because you think it makes you look kind, I will happily take the cookie and think you're kind because that was a kind action. And maybe this is an overly simplistic, overly pragmatic point of view, but this world is way too complicated to judge people on anything but their consistent actions. Many people have "bad" thoughts; it's what we do and the words we choose to share that shape who we are out here in reality. In your personal, internal reality? Whether or not that internal you is good is up to you and you alone. But I believe that simply recognizing that doing good things affords you benefits (people may reciprocate, people give you positive attention, you feel the ease of a clear conscious, etc.) doesn't automatically invalidate your efforts or disqualify you as a good person. None of what you wrote sounds crazy. In fact, it sounds incredibly human. Evolution has wired us to be community-minded creatures, meaning we feel good when we help others. There's nothing wrong with enjoying it. And seeing you worry about being a good person tells me that you most likely are.

Okay, I better quit the philosophy talk while I'm still making a modicum of sense. Onto your sorting.

The entire question of whether you can be a good person because you are consciously choosing to act like one is dancing the line between being a Secondary or a Primary discussion. You said you might be a Bird Primary, and I'd definitely lean that way since you've heavily implied that you consciously choose what is "good" as well. But ultimately that was just the implication. I suggest you examine how you came to the conclusion that investing in people is "good" as a starting place for determining your Primary. If any part of it is a subconscious instinct to help people, I'd say there's a good chance you're a Badger instead.

I'm not about cause than community, but I don't know I could go it alone.

I don't really know how that fits with my Badger primary model cause I don't really understand it very well. What I do know though is that it would take a ten times bigger disagreement with my family before I'd consider cutting myself off from them. They are home and I don't know that'll I'd find anyone else that would love me how they do. (Not that I don't think anyone could love me, it's just that I don't know how to find them.)

I have 1 badger scarf! It's my fave :')

Omg, I love Ravenclaw house! It’s the one the sorting hat put me in on Pottermore AND the house I self align with! 

P.S. Hufflepuffs are cool too <3