Aug 8, 2016
I really need a punching bag before I really fuck up my hand hitting the walls.
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I really need a punching bag before I really fuck up my hand hitting the walls.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Don't worry about me. I'm gonna be fine.
I fucking love getting home from work HOURS late.Â
Especially when my phone continues to act up, and not work.Â
Going to bed.Â
Tomorrow will be a better day.Â
Coming Out as Ace
People not taking you seriously because you "haven't met the right person yet". Religious peeps just saying it must be easier for me like my sexuality is just a nifty tool for being a better christian. Constant fear that my partner will feel unloved or unappreciated physically. "Yeah, but I don't even see why you have to say anything about it." People thinking you're just lying to cover for "sins". Peeps assuming it's just because my anxiety disorder has left me sexually "broken". But yeah, it's easy and I don't need to talk about it. This weird assumption that because I don't like sex, I must be some adorable and childlike partner. INFANTILIZING IN GENERAL Constant needs for reassurance from my partner that cuddling/affection won't lead to pressure for anything else. Increased anxiety
Current situation
4 months into accutane and i still look terrible my anxiety makes me feel like an idiot in any and all social situations i don't think i'm capable of feeling anything anymore aaaaaand i have to leave for college in a month despite being a mess okay done now sorry for the mini-rant that no one will care about bye
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I really really don't want to go back to school. I feel useless going there because everyone knows what they want to do with their lives and I'm living in chaos and my head's a mess and I want to live but I'm afraid to live and I still don't know what to do  and I just don't want to go to school because it makes me feel even worse than I feel right now.
I just want to feel happy again normal
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. You get to see all of your family, open presents, eat food and stay warm- plus everyone is happy and no one fights. This year however, has been my least favorite Christmas in a long, long time. I spent very little time with the family I like and too much with the family I don't like. Instead of the usual embarrassing questions about boyfriends and activities, I was bombarded with questions about what I was gonna do about college. Where I am going to go. What classes I am going to take. The questions go on and on. All I wanted to do was cry. And my parents keep pressuring me to take more classes. Which just makes me sad. I am afraid of tomorrow. I am afraid that despite all of my growing up, I may still be a sad little girl who can't control her emotions. And the food was bad (like seafood enchiladas bad). So I'm hungry and depressed. And although I really haven't eaten anything today, I feel fat and ugly and inadequate. I have no idea what the fuck I am doing and everyone is watching. Everyone is whispering. Everyone is afraid that what happened to me could happen to them, or their children, or their friends. Everyone is giving me their opinion, which I haven't asked for. I don't understand how someone so young can make such a big decision about their life- one that lasts four years. To think that there are girls and guys getting married at my age- THAT'S FOREVER! I think most of all I am afraid I am not the woman I thought/believed/wanted to be. Maybe this is my life. Maybe I should stop crying and accept it.