enchanted by the prancing horse love [c2♡] snippet.
charles x carlos.
relationship communication. light angst, NOT YET BETA READ
recomended song to listen :
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"i think what i realized at my, this old age" Carlos chuckled into the dark sea waves, thinking how the table turned during his last phase of the twenties -- he wondering does his wrinkles will appear on his bday?-
"You are not that old, mateee"
"I'll be 30 next year, Sharls"
Charles rolled his eyes, "age doesn't matters" he huffed while hugging his knee until it flushed against his chest. Then he rests his cheek on top of his knee, with the longing watchful green eyes on Carlos
He takes its as a que to continue, "I realized that people come and go. and that is just how life going, you know?" Carlos more keen on the bubbles aligning the waves
"Pinõn was there-- Isa too, with me, my younger me" His feets brushed to the sand. and charles still looking at him quitely,
"--they are with my lonesome all that times, when thing goes right and not right. my loves goes with them" Carlos sighed,
"and when there is a start, always with comes to an end. That part is--"
"the hardest" Carlos felt his lips twich when Charles finishing him off
"of course. you are expert in this thing" Charles snorts in annoyance at Carlos teaseful response.
The green are no longer lands on him.
"how about now?" Charles whispered into their longing silence
"i don't know" he said while feeling his own heart clench. Gaze relaxed on his feet but something felt heavy inside his sternum
"Ah," Charles snickers, " is this another i'm not ready yet episodes-"
"it's tiring, Charles. Exhausted." Carlos let his eyes shutted, avoiding his teammate gaze already on him again but
"how about me?" the monegasque pushed.
"falling in love is easy but develop it, building it and maintain it is hard"
Charles bites his lips, seems like he already prepare for everything,
"i was never failed at the first sight. i thought i was building it right but then it was not strong enough" Carlos dips his side toward Charles until their shoulder brush
"and to be risking out it now with you-- now, with our current life. i... i just could not dare to do it"
"it is your problem if you can't separe between the race and..."
"yes. it is my problem. but so are you" Carlos sighed for a thousand times. the waves splashed over his toes making him shivering in cold, not Charles bore eyes to him
"i'm not a sweet talker when it comes to racing and you know that very well." He nudged their already flushed shoulder again waiting for his teammate answer
Instead, Carles hides his face into the his still crossed knee, in between his chest he speaks to the empthy space, "you are so rude you know? i was expecting a yes since we have been on the same page for goddamit too long"
without looking, carlos know, always knows how tears might be dropped like a broken dam river through Charles eyes
"you gave me a signal"
"i know --"
"you wanted me as the same as how i want you"
"yes but not when i can potentialy hurting you, us, when jealousy or dissapointment comes in. i.. don't, i'm afraid of that"
Carlos knows he is right, deep down Charles also aknowledge it how possible could be wrong if they decide to be togehter now
"i want you, Carlos" he plead
"i know,"
and then let the waves filled the silence,
"then how long should i wait then? " Charles asked always very demanding, a little bit too impantient
Carlos shakes his head, "noCharles no. that's... thats very unfair of me for you" He then bravely take a chance to meet Charles eyes and yes it is tearing up
He brings his hands up to cupped over his teammate wet cheek, "Hey" he wiped the tears--brushing, comforting.
"it might sound harsh but Charles if you... if" he takes a big breath first, "if you finds another one or somebody finds you first then go. It's okay. Really." Not enough, Carlos feels so he place his other hands on Charles nape'
"I..." He chuckled in ashamed voice, " what kind of guy am I who restrain you, telling you to wait for the uncertainity? you deserve better. Charlie I... fuck, I thought by keeping Isa by my side for that long will protect our relationship and yet turns out it restrained her. I couldn't do that to you. Not when you can fly high without me. Not you can do so much more. Not again I restraining people for just my own ego." He said that all in one breath,
"what if I insist?" Charles voice strained. "what if i want to wait for you?"
"am afraid i'll end up losing both of us" both of his hands are now cupping Charles angelic face who looking somber and gosh Carlos hate it so much especially the causes is him
"I don't want us strained in competition and media and rivaly. As long as I'm with you in the team, I help you and the team for championship. It's is already so hard but I'll take it for what is worth, you understand?"
Charles put his own hands against Carlos, " is this what the song really said right person wrong time?" he let a breathy laughed,
"is me loving you now is in the wrong timing?"
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HAHA SOON IN MY AO3 OKAY? I DONT WANNAA TO SPILL IT TOOO MUCH BECAUSE like it might be unclear whats the main problem here and i m very lazy to address it here so yeah justjustjust wait another sequel of ocean and engines. in meantime you are crying reading this story go on check charlos playlist on my spotify!
