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tags: polyamory, slow burn, mutual pining, domestic fluff, polyamory negotiations, pining, first time, canon compliant, light angst
my tags: established jeon wonwoo/lee chan
synopsis:
The love’s always been there. Wonwoo, Soonyoung and Chan are still waiting to see what shape it takes.
published 2019, archive of our own | 14,840 words | 3 chapters
my notes: I LOVE THIS FIC. the wonchan prequel is cute, but this one. THIS ONE. my god. it's everything the first one was and better. i'm obsessed. everyone go read it idfc.
Everyone in the dorm is in a slight state of panic, because no one can find Chan.
Soonyoung had told the others what had happened, eyes downcast and ashamed. The others tell him he did nothing wrong but he hurt Chan so it feels like he did. That feeling is only amplified when it becomes apparent that Chan did not make the trip back to the dorms with them.
At first the other members leave it alone, thinking maybe it would be best if Chan could have a bit more time to himself. When Chan still hasn’t returned late into the night though, the worry becomes more serious.
Where could he have gone? It was completely dark out now, he wouldn’t have just wandered off, right?
Someone suggests that maybe he had never left the studio, and immediately Minghao volunteers to go check.
Minghao wants to run the whole way back to the studio, but forces himself to calm down, to walk. Chan will be there, he would find him. But Minghao can’t stop the worry that builds inside his chest and makes it feel like his throat is closing.
What if Chan wasn’t there?
When he arrives back at the studio, he practically flings open the entryway door. Minghao checks behind every unlocked door, no matter how unrealistic a hiding place it would be. And inside one of the smaller closets, Minghao finds him.
He had cracked the door open slightly, and saw Chan hugging his knees and backed into the corner. There are soft tears tracking down Chan’s cheeks, and Minghao feels his heart break.
He collapses down next to Chan, pulling the boy tightly into his arms. He doesn’t say anything, just lets Chan cry until he can’t anymore. There’s not really much he could say that would be a comfort for something like this, anyways. So he just holds the boy, running his fingers gently through his hair ever so often, and smoothing a hand down his back.
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“I’m in love with you.” The words seems to echo harshly around the dance studio, ringing in Chan’s ears. He dreads the answer he will hear from Soonyoung, knows already what it is going to be. He saw how Soonyoung looked at Jihoon, and knew it was too late. But he had to get the words out, to try anyways. Maybe, maybe there was still a chance.
But he sees a pained expression cross Soonyoung’s face, and he knows what the answer will be. Even before Soonyoung opens his mouth, he knows. Soonyoung will try to let him down gently, because he cares for Chan like a brother. Like a brother, and that’s all.
Chan can feel the tears start to pool in his eyes, and angrily wipes them away.
“It’s okay, hyung. I knew what your answer would be. I just had to get it out.”
Soonyoung is frozen with his mouth open, unmoving from the same spot on the wooden floor.
So Chan leaves.
He leaves and goes to find a place where he knows he will be alone for a long time, where he can cry at this heartbreak by himself before someone else finds him.
---
It’s Minghao who finds him, maybe hours later, maybe minutes. The passage of time in this dark room seems meaningless anyways. Minghao doesn’t ask Chan any questions, and just holds him while he continues to sob. Chan is thankful, because he isn’t sure he has any words left.
Chan feels gentle hands rubbing circles on his back as his sobs quiet to hiccups.
“Hyung I-”
“I know, Chan. It’s alright, you don’t have to explain.”
Chan nods, a few more tears slipping out and tracking down his cheek. Minghao wipes them away gently, and places a soft kiss on Chan’s forehead.
“It will get easier, Channie.”
Chan doesn’t feel like that could be true; his insides feel like they’re fracturing.
He can feel more tears slipping down his cheeks, but doesn’t try to stop them. He holds tight to Minghao, and lets the tears fall.
"God, Chan.. Whatever the fuck you're doing, don't stop doing it." Soonyoung moaned into his pillow as he squeezed the blanket below him.
Chan kissed Soonyoung's shoulder softly, "Soonyoung, you're doing so well.." Soonyoung slowly moved his hand to his own dick, which immedeatly started to twitch at his touch. "Fuck, Chan.. I think I'm g-gonna cum.." Chan went slightly faster. Feeling Soonyoung tighten around him, felt like actual heaven. "F-fuck!" Soonyoung exclaimed as he spilled all over his hand and on the blanket. "God, Soonyoung.. You did so fucking well." Chan whispered as he had reached his own high inside Soonyoung. "You did so fucking well." Chan said again, carefully kissing Soonyoung's puffy lips as he turned the older around. "Lets clean you up, should we?" Chan whispered as he slowly removed himself from Soonyoung, receiving a small groan, "It hurts.." Chan kissed his lips softly again, "I know. Its okay, I'm here." Chan picked Soonyoung up from the bed, carrying him to the bathroom.
"Here, I will run a nice, warm bath. Do you need anything?" Soonyoung's cheeks were still a ligth red, "maybe tea? Its in the kitchen, should be easy to find." Chan nodded, "ofcourse, I will be back before you know it." Soonyoung stretched his legs as the warm water ran into the bath, waiting for Chan to return. He thought back about the events from earlier, and how he ended up here in this situation in the first place.
It was only a couple of hours ago that he was at Mingyu's party. He didn't even plan on going, but Mingyu had insisted, telling him that he showed his face too little and that he could meet some nice people for an instance. Soonyoung had groaned in return, but said he'd go but only stay for a little bit.
When he arrived at the party, he went to sit somewhere quiet, so he didn't have to talk to any strangers. Mingyu would definitly mock him for this, but atleast he was there like he promised. Now sitting in Mingyu's little office where he had stored his private book and music collection.
Scanning through the books, Soonyoung hoped to find something new, something he hadn't read yet. He usually borrowed books from Mingyu, almost like his own personal library. "Hey," an unfamiliar voice spoke, making Soonyoung almost fall over as he quickly turned around to face this person. "Hey?" He answered back, unsure and not knowing who the boy in front of him was. "Hiding from the crowd?" Soonyoung showed an uneasy smile as he nodded. "Don't worry, I won't tell. I came to look for a quiet place myself. You know, I love people but hate parties. I'm Chan, by the way." Soonyoung shook his hand lightly, feeling the warmth of the other. "Soonyoung."
"So, you're going through his books? Mingyu told me before he was quite the reader, but never expected such a big collection." Soonyoung smiled, "I'm sorry, but how do you know Mingyu? I don't remember him mentioning you, nor do I remember ever noticing you at gatherings." Chan stepped forward to stand right next to Soonyoung and have a look at the books. "I'm his bussiness partner." Soonyoung looked puzzled, "you're his bussiness partner?" Chan chuckled lightly, "something wrong with that?" Soonyoung immedeatly shook his head, "no, no. I just, you're so- and I just.." Soonyoung mentally hit himself as he felled his cheeks flush red. "You imagined someone older, maybe bald? Didn't you?" Chan said, showing off a grin. "Y-yes, I think so. Now, excuse me.. I'll go-", Chan blocked his way, "can I get you a drink? Don't worry, I'll take it up here, you don't have to go downstairs." Soonyoung was frozen in his spot. What was this guy suggesting? "Sure.." Soonyoung whispered as he watched Chan leave the office again. He finally let out his breath, only now noticing he had been holding it. Quickly, he grabbed one of the books and sat down on the little couch in the corner, waiting for Chan to return.
"Here, I hope you like this." Chan said as he handed Soonyoung a light brown drink. "What is it?" Chan shrugged, "Safari. Knowing Mingyu, it should be a good one too." Soonyoung looked at the drink, not knowing what to expect. His eyes squeezed closed as the sweetness met his tongue. "God, that's sweet." Soonyoung coughed. "Its supposed to be sweet. Just like you." Chan smirked as Soonyoungs cheeks went back to a bright red.
Chan had sit down next to Soonyoung, the couch being so small that their legs were pressed against each other. "You never told me why you came here." Soonyoung spoke softly. Chan looked at him, face close to the other. "Even though working with people is my job, doens't mean I like to be around them all the time. I love people, but not too many at the same time." Chan shrugged. Soonyoung nodded, "Are you here on your own?" Chan shook his head, "seems like I'm sitting here with you." Soonyoung laughed, "that's not what I meant." He said as he friendly pushed Chan's shoulder. "I know, I know. But yes, I came here on my own. If you're refering whether I had brought my wife or husband, set it out of your mind. Cause I don't have one." Soonyoung blushed, or well, it had never really left his cheeks since he started drinking the alcohol a while ago. "Sorry, I didn't mean to.." Looking at his hands he didn't know what else to say. "Don't worry about it." Soonyoung smiled lightly as he met Chan's eyes. "You know-" Soonyoung started, but got interrupted by Chan's lips against his own. Startled, he backed away, looking at Chan in confusion. Who in return gave him a puzzled look. "Sorry, I should have asked.." Soonyoung bit his lip as he leaned closer again, not completely sure of what to do, just knowing he that he wanted the feeling back that was only there a few seconds ago. "I see." Chan whispered as he leaned further in, closing the space between them for another few seconds.
They had kissed and kissed again. Hands going through each others hair in the progress. Chan even sneakily sliding his hands under Soonyoung's shirt, making him squirm a little underneath him. "You know, maybe we should take this somewhere more private." Chan asked quietly as he softly removed some of Soonyoung's hair from his forehead. "I live at the end of the street." Soonyoung announced, not sure as to what exactly it was that he agreed on doing at his place. "Perfect." Chan beamed as he got up, offering Soonyoung his hand.
They had managed to sneak out of Mingyu's house without getting noticed. Soonyoung felt slightly dizzy from the few drinks he had, holding Chan's hand tightly, who didn't seem to mind that at all. Once inside, Chan started kissing him again, more passionate every time that their lips met. "Bedroom?" Chan suggested. Soonyoung didn't know what to say, but led Chan to his bedroom, upstairs. Feeling blessed that he had cleaned earlier that day.
Chan had pushed him towards the bed, a little rough, but still carefull at the same time. "Wait.." Soonyoung said as he leaned on his elbows, searching for Chan's eyes. "I, uh.. Chan I've never done this before." Chan smiled, knowing what Soonyoung was talking about. "Its okay if you don't want to do it. Just tell me, okay?" Soonyoung bit his lip nevously, "No, I-I think its fine.." Chan kissed Soonyoung softly, "you think? I'd rather have you be sure." Soonyoung nodded, "Im sure."
Chan returned with tea. "Should I go home?" He asked as he handed Soonyoung the tea. "Stay?" Soonyoung whispered, feeling a bit emberrased for asking. "I'd love to." Chan answered confidently, leaning in for another kiss.
