#wonchan

Smut warnings: masturbation, hand jobs, blow jobs, thigh fucking, anal sex, rimming, daddy kink, double penetration

Extra warnings: incest and underage sex. chan is 14–17 and soonwoo are 17–20 throughout the fic

Wonwoo was incredibly aware that people weren't supposed to think about their siblings the way he did. It just… happened. He couldn't help it, even if he knew it was wrong. Worse was that he could pinpoint exactly when it started. 

Three was obviously too young to remember Chan being born, but his father remarrying when he was barely old enough to walk was never hidden. It was scandalous, obviously, but it wasn't like Wonwoo could do anything about his biological mother walking out after another woman got pregnant. He barely knew her, anyway. As far as he was concerned, Chan's mother was his, too. She was the one who raised him. That probably made the whole situation worse, but he'd like to think only being half-siblings made it slightly better. He would take any excuse he could get. 

It wasn't like they grew up differently to anyone else. They played and fought and loved like all brothers did, as far as Wonwoo was aware. Entirely normal. Sure, he thought Chan was cute, but so did everyone. He was a cute kid. The few years between them made that make perfect sense to think as they got older. An early teenager thinking about his kid brother that way was fine. Fine, up until Chan was a teenager, too. That was when the trouble started. 

Maybe it wouldn't have happened if Chan had the awful temperament considered normal for his age. Instead of lashing out with rage and rebellion, he mostly stayed sweet and silly and clingy, wide eyed and innocent even after hitting thirteen. Mostly. He did develop a bit of a sharp tongue, a feisty kind of cheekiness, but that could be put down to the friends he was making at school. The way he treated Wonwoo didn't change, and Wonwoo didn't feel any differently to how he always had. Not that year. 

Fourteen and seventeen was the turning point. 

——————————

Wonwoo wasn't stupid. They were too close. 

Their parents had always called them two peas in a pod, inseparable from each other, and fondly ruffled their hair when they were found swaddled in a blanket sharing headphones or curled together in a single bed. As they got older, the smiles turned tight lipped and confused, as if they wanted to say something but didn't know how. Chan never seemed to notice. That, or he just didn't care. It was hard to tell. The only thing that ever gave him away was when he would press himself closer to Wonwoo's body, rubbing soothing circles against his back in the darkness with a barely-there peck that could be considered familial. Maybe. Kind of. Wonwoo knew it was weird.

It was weird, but not a huge problem. Wonwoo wouldn't have said he felt anything differently towards Chan at that point, because it wasn't different. It was how they'd always been. The actual turning point, the change, was during one of those nights, though. 

Saturday's tended to be the time they had their sleepovers, mostly because of school, but there were times where Chan would squeeze himself in behind Wonwoo on random nights anyway. When they were younger, it was when he had nightmares and needed comfort. By then, it seemed to just be because he felt like it. Wonwoo was always happy to steal his warmth, his own skin perpetually cold, so it was fine. It was innocent.

It was fine.

It was on one of those nights, well after midnight on an unassuming Thursday, that one of Chan's autumn-chilled hands crept beneath Wonwoo's shirt after pressing himself against his back under the covers. That wasn't too unusual, and Wonwoo was more than half asleep, so he didn't pay it any mind. It was only when Chan started wriggling around that he came out of it enough to realise something was happening. The movements were small and stilted, but it was obvious enough. 

No.

Too far. 

Wrong.

“Chan-ah,” he whispered, hoarse with his throat gone dry. “What… what are you doing?”

“Hyung, please, I just-” Chan's voice was hushed, cut off by a gasp. “I'm sorry. I can't… can't stop. Please, hyung.”

Wonwoo's heart skipped a beat. He knew he needed to do something, be the voice of authority with the crossing of such a major boundary, but he was frozen still. Against his better judgement, despite the sirens wailing in his brain, Wonwoo let it happen. He let Chan grind against his lower back until he was shaking and panting against his shoulder. Wonwoo felt it when he finished in his pants, the soft whimper as he rode it out making his own cock throb, but he didn't dare move to do anything about it. He couldn't move at all. 

“Thank you,” Chan's lips brushed against the back of his neck, the slight pressure of his kiss making Wonwoo shiver. “Good night, hyung.” 

Sleep didn't pull Wonwoo back under that night, forced to think about what he'd done. Or rather, what he didn't do. He didn't stop it. He should have stopped it. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. 

——————————

By the time the sun came up, Wonwoo had decided that he needed to be the one to end whatever it was they'd started. 

It was going to hurt, but the only way he could think of was to cut Chan off. As much as he could with them living under the same roof, anyway. Chan had already slipped away to get ready for his day by then, probably needing extra time to shower since he'd fallen asleep without bothering to clean up, and that was something Wonwoo had to really try to not think about. Try being the keyword. 

The shift had already happened. Wonwoo knew that, and maybe it wasn't fully reversible, but it was his only option. He couldn't let it escalate any further, knowing that was exactly what would happen if he didn't intervene, because it was wrong. It was easy to reason that Chan was too young to really know what he was doing, so Wonwoo could fully shoulder the blame as he should, making it entirely his responsibility. It was all his fault. He had to make it right. 

Painfully, that meant seeing Chan's face fall when he went down to the kitchen without draping himself over his shoulders like he usually would, even worse when Wonwoo left with his coffee to go back to his room instead of staying until it was almost time to catch the bus. The thing that truly made Wonwoo's stomach swirl with guilt was Chan’s school uniform; a blatant reminder of his age that couldn't be ignored. The thought made bile rise in his throat.

Wonwoo did his best to shake it off as he got dressed, deciding to wait until the last minute to say goodbye to their parents and run out the door to avoid Chan for as long as possible, meaning he barely made it to the bus before it could pull away from the curb. Chan perked up when their eyes met, already sitting in the spot they always shared, but his smile turned into a pout when Wonwoo dropped into a seat closer to the front. Ignoring his phone vibrating in his pocket, Wonwoo breathed a deep sigh. 

This was going to be even harder than he'd thought. 

——————————

Chan seemed adamant to make Wonwoo tell him what was going on, why he was suddenly being so cold, which really just cemented Wonwoo's point. Wonwoo stuck to the same lines every time. Nothing was wrong. He was just tired. It was fine. They were fine. Chan clearly didn't buy it, but his frustration eventually twisted into resigned defeat. He stopped asking after the first week passed. Wonwoo kept pretending it wasn't ripping his heart in two. 

Of course their parents noticed the sudden distance between them. Wonwoo had thought they would be happy with the change after all the concerned glances they'd shared over their unusual closeness, but it set an awkward cloud over the family as a whole. He knew an interrogation would be coming, but he was still caught off guard by the knock on his bedroom door when he was in the middle of studying for an upcoming test.

“Can I come in?”

Wonwoo spun his chair around towards the voice after bookmarking the page of his textbook, hoping his smile didn't appear forced but fairly sure it was just as strained as his mother's when he called out that it was okay. She stepped inside, sitting on the edge of his bed with a sigh as she stared up at the ceiling. Wonwoo waited patiently as patiently as he could for her to bring up the inevitable, heartbeat pounding in his ears, uneasiness growing the longer she took to speak. 

“What's going on with you and Channie?” she eventually asked, lowering her head back down with her lips pressed in a thin line. “Did you have a fight?”

“Nothing's wrong,” Wonwoo answered out of habit. “We didn't fight. I've just been busy, I guess.”

“Right,” she seemed sceptical, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched, but she didn't try to directly refute it. “Well, it might be a good idea to talk to him, at least. He hasn't been himself lately. Neither have you.”

Wonwoo gulped, throat so dry that it made an audible click. He'd thought he was doing okay, that his acting was decent enough to not make his misery noticeable, but heartache was difficult to hide. He missed Chan terribly. Keeping him at arm's length was almost like losing a limb. Not being able to explain why it was necessary only made it harder, but he could never tell his parents what they'd done. Wonwoo knew it wasn't fair to be making them uncomfortable, though.

“I'll talk to him,” he mumbled, staring down at his fingers twisted in his lap. “I'm sorry for worrying you.”

“Just… make it right. He loves you, you know,” the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile more genuine than before. “Winter break is coming up. Maybe you could do something together.”

Nausea swirled Wonwoo's stomach at her choice of words. He was already trying to make it right. Of course he knew that Chan loved him, but it wasn't in the brotherly way that she meant, and doing something together had awful implications in his rotted brain. He hadn't let himself think about what happened since the morning after, focusing on the outcome rather than the cause, entirely for his own sanity. Now, his mother had brought it to the forefront of his mind, and even if it was with good intentions, it was unbearable. 

Knowing that he needed to give some kind of response, Wonwoo nodded with the slightest upturn of his lips, praying that it would be enough to make her leave. Thankfully, it was, his mother standing to gently ruffle his hair before giving him space to breathe. After the door clicked shut, Wonwoo counted the seconds until the sound of her footsteps drifted away down the stairs, launching himself from the chair to twist the lock when he was sure she was gone.

He didn't want to think about it. He really, really didn't, but it was too late. Wonwoo stumbled over to his bed as the memory flooded back, barely making it with his legs turned to jelly, but he managed to lay down on his back and scrub at his eyes with a quiet groan. Having a vivid imagination was a curse, the sound of Chan's breathy whimpers ringing in his ears as the image of how he would have looked flashed behind his eyelids, and he knew it wasn't going to just go away. 

Pretty. 

When that happened, he wasn't sure, but it felt like a punch in the guts to realise that Chan was becoming so, so pretty. Shiny-eyed and pink lipped. Still small and featherlight without hitting his growth spurt yet. It was terrible, but Wonwoo didn't need to look down to know he was hard, and that was the thing. He shouldn't be hard. He shouldn't have let it happen. He shouldn't be thinking about it. 

Wrong disgusting rotten.

But his hand moved of its own accord, drifting down his stomach to his waistband before he realised what he was doing. Wonwoo gasped when his fingers slipped into his underwear, slapping the palm of his other hand over his mouth to muffle anything louder as his hips bucked up to chase the feeling. It was dizzying, but the more he thought about it, the more precome leaked from his cock. He couldn't stop. 

Chan's voice echoed in his mind, the way he'd pleaded for Wonwoo to let him do it, then the relief of not being turned away. His movements had been so hesitant and inexperienced that Wonwoo couldn't help wondering how often he'd gotten himself off before then. Chan was too old for it to have been the very first time, and he'd chased it like he had some knowledge of what would feel good, but it couldn't have been many. Did he think about Wonwoo then, too? 

Wonwoo only just had the sense to pull his shirt up before his come hit his skin, embarrassingly fast compared to how long he usually took to finish, the low moan trapped behind his hand still too loud in his own ears. Guilt set in before he could even catch his breath, scrunching his eyes closed with his heart hammering in his chest. 

He couldn't keep the promise to his mother. He couldn't face Chan that night. 

——————————

“Are you fighting with Chan or something?”

Wonwoo blinked at Soonyoung across the school lunch table. He wasn't even looking his way, just poking at his food with disposable chopsticks, but the question wouldn't be directed at anyone else. They were the only ones sitting there, anyway. 

“Huh?”

“You only get this mopey when you two have had a falling out,” Soonyoung shrugged. “So, what happened?”

“Nothing,” Wonwoo grimaced at the unimpressed look shot back. “It's complicated.”

Soonyoung studied him silently for a moment, something in his gaze making Wonwoo shift uncomfortably in his seat, but he brightened back to his usual self a second later as if nothing had happened. It was enough to give him whiplash.

“Then you better uncomplicate it before your grades end up as bad as mine,” he grinned as he stood up. “Speaking of, class starts in a couple minutes. Come on.”

Wonwoo hurried to catch up when he walked away from the table, but he was still shaken. Having Soonyoung as a best friend was never predictable, even after being joined at the hip for as long as they could remember. He always spoke his thoughts out loud, whether it was wanted or not, so keeping whatever had crossed his mind to himself was unnerving. Wonwoo wasn't sure if he wanted to know what he saw with his uncanny ability to read him like a book. 

“Uncomplicate it” was Soonyoung's way of saying “get your shit together”, another version of “make it right” that really didn't help at all. Wonwoo had to talk to Chan, he knew that, but he just didn't know what he was supposed to say. There wasn't a guidebook for these things. No matter how uneasy he felt, how uncomfortable he knew it was going to be, he really couldn't keep Chan confused and miserable forever. He had to try.

——————————

Wonwoo had planned to talk to him that night after deliberating over it in the shower. Entering his own bedroom to find Chan sitting cross-legged on his mattress, extra soft with his hair still damp from the one he'd taken earlier, was not part of it. 

Pretty. He looked terribly, awfully, stomach-churningly pretty. 

“Hyung?”

Red creeped up Wonwoo's cheeks when he realised he'd been caught staring, matching the colour of Chan's ears burning hot, but he'd been trying to avoid looking at him directly for so long that tearing his eyes away felt like a sin. As if he hadn't done enough of that already. 

“What are you doing in here?” he managed to ask around the lump in his throat, harsher than it had meant to come out. “Why are you in my room?”

“Oh, um,” Chan seemed lost, as if he wasn't sure himself. “I came to apologise?”

Framed like a question. He looked so small. Young. Fourteen. Wonwoo's chest ached.

“Why?” he asked as gently as the ash in his mouth allowed, closing the door before sitting on the edge of the bed at a safe distance. “You haven't done anything wrong.”

“You've been avoiding me. I know why,” he frowned down at his hands in his lap. “I'm sorry, hyung. I fucked up.”

“Language,” Wonwoo said out of habit, instantly cringing at himself. He sounded too much like their father. “It's not your fault. I should've stopped it. Hyung's sorry, Chan-ah.”

Chan blinked back silently, gears almost visibly turning in his head as he sifted through the words to their real meaning. Wonwoo knew when he figured it out, his brows furrowing and corners of his mouth turning downward. He braced himself for it, but it still wasn't pleasant to hear.

“I knew what I was doing.”

“No, you didn't,” Wonwoo gritted his teeth so tightly that his jaw ached. “You're too young to understand what was happening and-”

“How stupid do you think I am?” Chan cut him off, anger that Wonwoo rarely witnessed flaring. “Do you seriously think that was the first time I've done it? I'm not a child and I knew what I was doing.”

The dread morphed into something worse, something vile and ugly and smeared with red, boiling over to spill into the dark cavity of Wonwoo's chest. He lunged at Chan, knocking him backwards to pin his skinny wrists above his head on the mattress, their noses left inches apart. Even with his cheeks flushing pink, he looked up at Wonwoo in defiance, tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips. 

“I know you want me, too.”

Whatever had come over Wonwoo snapped with the realisation of the position they were in, his broader body engulfing Chan's between his parted legs, every point of contact searing his skin. He flung himself backwards to get as far away as possible, Chan's eyes shining with hurt when he sat up on his elbows making bile burn in the back of his throat. The wrong disgusting rotten thoughts banshee screeched in his skull. They'd pushed too far. 

“Get out.”

“Hyung, I-”

“Fucking get out, Chan!”

Chan scrambled up from the bed to rush out of the room, hesitating in the doorway for a second as if he wanted to say something more, but ultimately left without a word. Wonwoo already knew his expression as he slammed the door closed would haunt him for the rest of his life. Frustration, betrayal and fear all rolled into a nasty little ball that sat heavy in Wonwoo's gut. None of them belonged on Chan's face. 

For the first time in years, Wonwoo crawled into bed and cried like a child. He knew Chan was doing the same across the hall.

It was all his fault. 

——————————

They acted civilly after that night; an unspoken pact to keep their parents off their backs. 

It worked well enough. Their mother smiled softly and their father ruffled their hair. They spoke normally over the dinner table and laughed at each other's jokes. But they didn't stay in the same room alone together. Their happy smiles fell when nobody was looking. They didn't touch. 

It hurt, but it was how it had to be, and Chan didn't seem to be faring any better with the situation. It was bittersweet to act as normal brothers were supposed to with the knowledge that the ache wasn't one-sided. The sour taste refused to be scrubbed from Wonwoo's mouth. 

The days crept forward in a blur until winter arrived. Winter meant school break. School break meant no escape. Their mother's words sunk back into Wonwoo's brain unbidden: ‘Maybe you could do something together.’

He spent as much time out of the house as he could to ease his mind. It was usually with Soonyoung, which was nothing out of the ordinary, and sometimes Junhui or Jihoon if they weren't busy. The two of them were easy enough to hide his thoughts from. Soonyoung, not so much. Wonwoo was fully aware that he could see right through his bullshit, and the uncomfortable looks only got deeper with each time he showed up unannounced, but he never said anything about the tremors in his hands worsening. It was a kindness Wonwoo didn't deserve.

If he happened to be at home, Chan wasn't. As far as Wonwoo could figure out without asking their parents directly, he usually stayed with the friends he'd apparently become much closer to over the last couple of months. Wonwoo had met Seungkwan and Vernon a few times. Nice enough kids. But that was the problem. They were kids sending a pang of jealousy through Wonwoo's chest, and he knew it wasn't right, but there was nothing he could do but let it bubble and fester. He hated them for it. He missed Chan. It was all his fault.

The days to Christmas passed at a slow crawl.

Their parents announced that they were going out together for dinner the evening before the date. Wonwoo had forgotten that they'd done it the year before, excited to make a new tradition now that both of their sons were old enough to be trusted home alone, and it was sweet. That time, he and Chan had cuddled up close beneath a blanket to watch a cheesy movie, eventually falling asleep tangled together on a couch too small for both of their growing bodies. 

Chan's cheeks flushed red when Wonwoo met his frightened eyes across the table. The same memory must have flashed through his mind. Their parents were too busy wrapped in each other to notice the uneasy silence. 

It was fine. They would be fine.

——————————

Wonwoo left for his bedroom as soon as they waved goodbye to their parents. He caught a frustrated sigh halfway up the stairs, and he couldn't help pausing at the sound, but he still climbed the rest without turning back. Acknowledging it would mean seeing the expression Chan was wearing. He didn't want to deal with that. 

The knock on the door ten minutes later was half expected. Wonwoo considered ignoring it, but it didn't stop like it usually would if he didn't open it after a few seconds, so he hauled himself back up from his bed with a groan to get it before Chan bruised his knuckles. His eyebrows raised when Chan pushed past as soon as he turned the handle to sit in the middle of the bed, his arms crossed with an annoyed pout. Despite everything, it was difficult not to laugh, but realising it was the first time they'd been alone together brought back Wonwoo's nerves.

“We can't keep this up forever, hyung,” Chan's brows furrowed deeper when Wonwoo sat as far away as possible on the edge of the bed. “I miss you. You miss me too, don't you?”

“Of course I do. More than you can even imagine. But this is how it needs to be, Chan-ah.”

Wonwoo moved closer to sit back against the wall, trying not to react at the way Chan gulped when he ran his thumb across the back of his hand. Just that action was probably too much, the contact unnecessary, but it helped to soothe his aching heart. Soft and grounding was okay. Of course it didn't last.

“It's because you still think I'm too young, right?” Chan narrowed his eyes at a spot on the bedcovers, missing Wonwoo's expression shift to absolute disbelief. “I'm not a baby, hyung. It isn't illegal. And it's my birthday in less than two months, if that helps.”

“It doesn't matter if it's legal. The entire thing is immoral, Chah-ah,” Wonwoo groaned as he hid his face in his hands. “Like, yes, that's a huge part of it, but it isn't just your age. Doesn't being brothers bother you at all?”

“Not really. It's only half, anyway. That isn't so bad.”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, but it was impossible to not huff a short laugh when he caught his cheeky smirk. It was a joke, but Wonwoo knew there was more than a pinch of truth to it. Chan genuinely didn't care. It was getting harder to not give in, his resolve crumbling far too easily with Chan linking their fingers and studying his reaction, but he genuinely did try to hold back from doing anything stupid. Chan's patience had run too thin. 

“Please, hyung. I didn't even touch you last time,” Chan moved to hover above Wonwoo's lap, his eyes wide and sparkly as he leaned in close. “I want it. Promise. Let me touch you.”

It wasn't a question. 

Wonwoo gasped when their lips crashed together, Chan leaving no room for him to pull away, but he didn't think he could if he tried. They'd kissed countless times before, but it was always featherlight and chaste, no more than a peck. Chan seemed adamant to make this time anything but innocent, whining when Wonwoo took too long to respond with his brain going haywire. His hips rolling brought Wonwoo out of his stupor, raking his nails up Chan's thighs to hold his waist tight beneath his shirt and drag him closer, swallowing the sounds dripping like honey from his tongue. 

There was no turning back. 

He was unbearably tiny beneath Wonwoo's large hands, almost able to wrap them around him entirely, and it seemed to affect Chan even more than himself. He moaned into Wonwoo's mouth, pawing desperately at his shoulders before tearing off their shirts to properly feel his heated skin, tongue poking out to run over his bottom lip after biting down hard enough to almost break skin. Chan shuddered when Wonwoo pushed his hips down to sit fully, easy to manhandle being so flexible and pliant, everything about him making Wonwoo's head spin.

Wonwoo almost complained when Chan moved away, quickly turning to panic with the thought that he was backing out, the blanket of wrong disgusting rotten settling over his brain, but Chan picked up on it before he could spiral too far. The look in his eyes as he shifted back slightly brought it to a halt. Chan dragged one of his hands over the front of Wonwoo’s pants before he could even think to stop him, snaking it inside to wrap his short fingers around Wonwoo’s cock with a shocked gasp. 

He pulled it out immediately, shuffling backwards to tug at Wonwoo's waistband before he could to catch up to what was happening, heart hammering in his chest at the way Chan's jaw dropped when he saw his cock resting heavily against his hip. It was so much worse to not just feel, but see Chan's hand around it when he reached out again, the tentative contact making Wonwoo groan.

“Oh, hyung,” Chan said breathily as he swiped his thumb over the precome drooling from the tip. “Do you think I'll get this big when I'm older?”

“Fuck, Channie, you can't say-” Wonwoo was cut off by a gasp when Chan gripped tighter, smearing the sticky wetness down with an annoying smirk. “You can't say things like that.”

“Why not?” he widened his eyes innocently in a way that appeared practised, and knowing Chan, it probably was. “You don't want me to be? Wanna keep me small?”

“Shut up.”

Chan giggled as Wonwoo pushed him backwards to hit the mattress, but he let out an embarrassed squeak when his pants were yanked down, blushing from suddenly being exposed. Wonwoo caught his wrists before he could hide behind his hands. He really was small, Wonwoo's hand would almost cover him entirely, but it was cute. Wonwoo didn't say it, and he knew it was terribly wrong to think, but he kind of did hope he would stay that way. 

“Please stop staring,” Chan squirmed, trying and failing to close his legs with Wonwoo kneeling between them. “I'm shy.”

“Since when?” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, leaning back down to pin his arms above his head and kiss his pout away. “This is what you wanted, isn't it?”

“This is exactly what I wanted.”

It took Wonwoo a second to work out what he meant, but Chan kicking his hips up with a soft moan was more than enough to jog his memory. It was the same position they were in the last time they were alone together. He didn't want to admit that Chan had been right, his words echoing in Wonwoo's mind, but he was. Wonwoo did want him too. He wanted Chan so badly it hurt.

“Oh, hyung,” Chan whined when Wonwoo pushed his wrists harder into the mattress and shifted himself backwards, latching his lips onto the side of his neck with his other hand tightly gripping his hip. “You can't leave marks.”

“Why not?” Wonwoo pulled away just enough to ask. “It's winter. You have turtlenecks, don't you?”

Chan cried out when Wonwoo sucked harder before he could answer, a reddish-purple bruise blooming on his throat, panting heavily as he did the same to another patch of skin further down. The distance was too far for Wonwoo to hold him down when he reached his chest, but Chan obediently left his arms in place, his fingers twitching and cheeks bright pink when Wonwoo dared to look up. Paired with his trail of marks, it brought a fierce possessiveness over Wonwoo, a visible shift that Chan noticed immediately.

“Yours,” he said breathily, a pleased smile curling his lips when Wonwoo's fingers dug into his waist. “All yours, hyungie.”

Wonwoo surged back up, licking into Chan's mouth when his lips parted in a gasp as he brought his hand over to finally wrap around his cock. Chan whimpered, flinging his arms around Wonwoo’s shoulders to draw him closer, tangling his fingers in his hair and rolling his hips to get Wonwoo to move. As much as he didn't want to, Wonwoo had to pull away to see what he was doing, the sight alone making his head spin.

Small. So small in Wonwoo's hand, beneath his body, beside his own cock appearing ridiculously large by comparison. Shiny with sweat and the precome leaking onto his stomach, he looked unreal. Chan's breath stuttered when he lifted his head to see, reaching down to swipe his thumb over the precome drooling from Wonwoo's tip before wrapping his much smaller fingers around the length. Wonwoo groaned, dropping his forehead to Chan's shoulder when he tightened them around him, making it difficult to hold himself back. 

“Hyung's so big,” Chan murmured, sounding like it was more to himself than Wonwoo. “Do you… do you think it would even fit inside me?”

That was Wonwoo's undoing.

Chan's back arched away from the bed with Wonwoo suddenly speeding up, desperate to make him come before he lost his mind entirely. The grip around his own cock loosened from Chan not being able to keep up, but with Wonwoo's focus only on making him feel good, he couldn't care less. Cut off, breathy little sounds tumbled from Chan's lips, clawing at Wonwoo's back as he trembled and fell apart. 

He cried out when he was pushed over the edge, borderline sobbing as his come shot up his stomach, and Wonwoo didn't think he'd ever seen anything so beautiful in his life. Chan's chest heaved after collapsing boneless to the mattress, a dazed look in his eyes and full body twitching until Wonwoo leaned away to rummage through his bedside table drawer for tissues.

“Oh, wait,” he got up as soon as Wonwoo cleaned away his mess, shuffling clumsily to land on the floor and kneel by the side of the bed. “Sit over here.”

“Why?” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow but did as he was told, only realising what he planned to do when he took him in his hand and sat up straighter. “Chan-ah. You don't-” 

“Hyung,” Chan sent him a look that had his jaw clicking shut, determined to get what he wanted. “I want to. Let me.”

Anything else Wonwoo could have said fled his mind when Chan's tongue poked out to lick up his length. Wonwoo's hand flew out to hold back his hair on instinct, Chan's happy little hum when he popped the head in his mouth almost unbearable with the way he was looking straight into his eyes and slowly lowering himself to take more in. It stretched his lips obscenely wide, eyes fluttering closed as he focused on trying to breathe halfway down, and Wonwoo couldn't help dragging his thumb over the corner of his mouth where spit was starting to run down. 

“How do you even know how to do this?”

Chan didn't bother pulling off to answer, blinking up at him through tear-clumped lashes, and Wonwoo could tell he would be grinning if his mouth wasn't stuffed full. Wonwoo wished he hadn't asked. 

He already knew that he wouldn't last, and that was just with Chan's hand, so it wasn't long before he was trying to tug him back up by the hair in warning. To his shock, Chan refused to pull off entirely, keeping the head in his mouth like a lollipop and wrapping his fingers around the rest. Wonwoo couldn't hold the intense eye contact he was trying to keep, staring at Chan's mouth as he spilled down his throat with a low moan. Chan sat back on his heels after letting his cock fall from his lips, skin flushed and eyes heavy, sticking his tongue out for Wonwoo to see he'd swallowed.

“Stop that. Come here,” Wonwoo rolled his eyes when Chan landed in his lap with a giggle, not minding the taste of himself on his lips with him leaning in for a soft kiss. “What was all that about?”

“Told you I know what I'm doing,” he shrugged as if it was nothing. “Been watching a lot. Wanted to be good for when you finally gave in.”

That was something Wonwoo really didn't need to be thinking about. It took a second for he'd said to catch up properly, the idea of him giving in to it an awful way of putting it, but Chan was right. He gave in. He came in his little brother's mouth and let him swallow. Wonwoo's stomach churned. Wrong disgusting rotten.

“Hey,” Chan's voice cut through the spiral, the thumb running across his jaw gentle and sweet. “Please don't run away from me again.”

Maybe Wonwoo's priorities, his morals, were totally misaligned, but upsetting Chan was even worse in his mind than what they'd just done. He forced a smile as he grabbed Chan's wrist, turning more genuine with his relieved sigh when Wonwoo pressed a kiss to the pulse thrumming beneath his skin. Letting him go would be unbearable.

“Sleep with me tonight?” he asked, screwing his nose up when Chan's eyes widened. “I mean literally, you heathen. Stay.”

“Of course,” Chan's voice was soft, but cheekiness took over again a moment later. “It was a serious question though, you know. Do you think it would fit?”

“Chan-ah!” Wonwoo shoved him to fall sideways onto the mattress, scandalised by him running his fingertip up his soft cock. “We're not finding out. Go brush your teeth.”

Poking his tongue out, Chan picked his clothes up from the floor and ran out the door with a laugh far too loud to do as he was told for once. It made Wonwoo shake his head fondly, but he had to really try to keep the guilt at bay while he was gone. Being alone, even when he could hear the sounds of Chan in the bathroom, didn't make it easy. It was lucky that it was a task that didn't take long, Wonwoo managing to put his clothes on and get under the covers before Chan bounded back in to wriggle between his arms.

“Stop thinking so much,” he kissed the tip of Wonwoo’s nose, his cheek and finally lips before snuggling into his chest. “We're good, okay? I promise.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo whispered into his hair, hoping Chan couldn't feel the way his heart was racing. “We're good.”

Wonwoo pulled him closer against his body, Chan relaxing with the gentle scratching at his scalp until he went limp in sleep. It took longer for Wonwoo to drift off, but the rhythmic in and out of Chan's breaths eventually pulled him under, merely an hour before their parents arrived home. 

Missing the way their eyebrows pulled together in a mix of relief and concern when they stopped in the doorway was probably for the best. 

——————————

“I'm glad you and Channie are getting along again.”

Wonwoo raised his head at Soonyoung's statement across the lunch table. It was only the third day back at school and he hadn't mentioned Chan at all, as far as he could recall, but Soonyoung always knew what was going on in his life even without bringing it up. The worst part was that this one was scarily reminiscent of the conversation they'd had before the break. Wonwoo couldn't say he really wanted to relive that experience. ‘Getting along’ was a funny way of putting it, though.

“We are, yeah,” he hoped his ears weren't turning as red as they felt. “We're good.”

It didn't feel great to admit how good they were, though. He couldn't say that Chan was back to following him around like a puppy at home, clingy to the extent that the only time he wasn't sitting in Wonwoo's lap or curled around one of his arms was when their parents were around, and that wasn't even addressing the fact that he appeared in Wonwoo's bed more often than not. It was almost funny that Wonwoo hadn't thought it could be worse than it was before. Almost.

He knew the point that they'd escalated to wasn't funny. There was no humour in the way that Chan had taken to waking Wonwoo up in the morning with his dick down his throat, claiming that it would be a waste if he didn't. His brother being dick obsessed at fourteen was something Wonwoo would take to his grave, and with the way things were going, it was going to be an early one. 

The thing tripping him up the most was that Chan hadn't brought up going further since that first night, but not for the reason it should have been. His concern was that it would be thrown on him without warning, and the more he thought about it, the more it felt like he shouldn't be the one to take his virginity rather than not doing it at all. It still wasn't a good way of thinking, obviously, but Wonwoo rationalised it as being moderately better than letting himself lose whatever control he still had. 

It was a lot to keep to himself, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice. Soonyoung staring like he could read his mind didn't help. Wonwoo prayed his thoughts were too far outside the realm of normal to guess. It was all he could do.

——————————

Chan's birthday rolled around far too quickly. It was the usual fanfare of gifts and his choice of food for dinner after coming home from spending time with Seungkwan and Vernon, nothing out of the ordinary, but Wonwoo was still on edge. Every time their eyes met, it felt like Chan was hiding something, leaving Wonwoo nervous and antsy for whatever he was planning. He could make an educated guess.

As expected, Chan ambushed him half an hour after their parents went to bed. It wasn't like they could hear upstairs from all the way on the other side of the house, but they'd decided early on that it was better to be safe than get caught, and thirty minutes felt like a decent amount of time. On that night, Chan slipped through the bedroom door with a wide grin that couldn't mean anything good for Wonwoo's sanity. Not that he was doing very well in the first place. 

“Hey, hyungie,” Chan crawled into Wonwoo's lap immediately, lacing his fingers behind his neck where he was sitting up against the pillows. “There's something I want for my birthday.”

“The jacket I gave you wasn't enough?” he smirked at the way Chan rolled his eyes despite the way his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest. “What?”

“God, you're so annoying. No,” Chan leaned in closer to whisper in Wonwoo's ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “I want you to fuck me.”

There it was. Wonwoo knew it was coming, but it was still a shock to hear directly from Chan's mouth. He hated the way his body reacted automatically, gripping Chan's waist with a gasp when he sat himself down fully against his cock filling out in his pants, and Chan's pleased little hum as he nipped at his jaw didn't help in the slightest. Still, he forced himself to move away, knowing he had to say something even if the way Chan's face fell in disappointment hurt terribly. 

“Chan-ah,” he sighed, looking up at the ceiling to avoid his eyes. “I don't think it should be me. I shouldn't be your first.”

“Who else would I want it to be?” Chan frowned. “It would be your first time too, hyung. This isn't just a me thing. I'm ready.”

“I don't think I am.”

Wonwoo was somehow taken aback by his own honesty even more than Chan was. He'd been so focussed on Chan's needs that he hadn't really thought about his own, but now that he'd let it slip, it made sense. He wasn't scared entirely for Chan's sake. It was partially his own. That much, thankfully, Chan did seem to understand. 

“Oh. I'm sorry,” he swept his thumb over Wonwoo's cheekbone, the apology genuine in his soft smile when Wonwoo managed to bring his gaze back down. “Can we compromise, then?”

“Compromise?” Wonwoo couldn't help laughing at his bashful nod. “And how would we do that?” 

“You like my thighs, don't you? Fuck them instead.” 

He grinned at Wonwoo's jaw dropping, taking it as the go ahead to press himself closer and bite down on his bottom lip. Wonwoo groaned, dragging his hands down from Chan's waist to his thighs, squeezing the soft flesh over the fabric of his clothes. He'd never said it outright, but as much as he loved how tiny he'd always been, he did like the way Chan was starting to fill out more. It wasn't too surprising that he'd picked up on it. Wonwoo was never very good at hiding his gawking. 

“Hey, what?” his eyebrows raised when Chan leaned over to rummage through his drawer, sitting back up straight with a bottle of lube in his hand. “When did you get that?”

“On the way back from Seungkwan-hyung's,” Chan said nonchalantly, but the sparkle in his eyes gave him away. “Wanted to be prepared. We'll need it for this too, anyway.”

“Have I ever told you that you're actually insane?”

Chan giggled as he threw his clothes to the floor and layed on his side with his back to Wonwoo, one leg bent to get comfortable while he waited, appearing to not want to waste any more time than they already had. Wonwoo was in much less of a rush, taking his shirt off with his eyes trained on Chan's body, roaming over the exposed skin on show as he peeled off the rest of his clothes and settled behind him. For all that they'd been undressed around each other recently, it was a view Wonwoo hadn't gotten to properly experience, so he wanted to make the most of it before Chan could get too embarrassed. 

The little gasp from Chan as he skimmed a hand down his side went straight to Wonwoo's dick, which didn't mean a whole lot when that was the reaction he had to almost everything he did, but the surprised squeak when Wonwoo squeezed his ass was different. He half-heartedly squirmed away from his palm, freezing at the way Wonwoo spread him apart, entirely unexpected after being told that they wouldn't be going all the way. In Wonwoo's defence, it was only out of curiosity. 

“Sorry,” he pressed a kiss to Chan's shoulderblade before wrapping an arm over his waist to pull him backwards, Wonwoo groaning when his hips met Chan's ass. “Still not today. Just wanted to see. How can you be pretty all over?”

Chan shivered in his hold, grinding back against him as best as he could with the position they were in, and it was all too much for Wonwoo. He reached for the lube, probably pouring too much out into his palm, but not finding it in himself to care when Chan parted his legs further to smear it on his skin. Wonwoo pressed their bodies closer for his cock to sit between Chan's thighs, exhaling harshly when he brought them together, just catching Chan crossing his ankles to make the space tighter before he had to rest his forehead against his back to try to breathe.

“Feels good?” Chan asked so quietly that Wonwoo could barely hear over the pounding in his ears, his hips stuttering when Chan dragged a fingertip over the head of his cock visible between his legs. “So big you don't even fit here, hyungie. Look.”

Wonwoo sighed, but his head wasn't spinning quite so badly by then, so he managed to lift himself enough to see what Chan was talking about. He kind of wished he didn't. Chan was right. It was insane to see himself not fully covered by his thighs, shifting to draw back slightly and push back through almost unbearable both physically and visually, and Chan's soft whimpers didn't help. His words were worse.

“Hyung,” he turned his head to whisper against Wonwoo's lips. “Use me.”

His body moved on instinct, slamming forward so harshly that he had to grip Chan's hip tightly to keep him from being jostled too far, but he still whined at the force. Chan's breaths were punched from his chest as he sped up, his body turning limp and pliant with Wonwoo chasing the feeling building by the second, but Wonwoo couldn't just leave him that way. He couldn't let go with the way he was moving, but that didn't mean Chan had to go without. 

“Touch yourself.”

“I-I can't,” Chan hiccuped, eyes close to spilling over when he met Wonwoo's. “I'll come.”

“I'm getting close, too. It's alright,” he managed to say through gritted teeth, barely able to hold back. “Please, Channie. Hyung wants to see you first.” 

Chan's hand trembled when he brought it down to wrap around himself, and he clearly hadn't been joking. His back arched immediately, crying out as his come hit the bedcovers, and it was enough to have Wonwoo spilling onto his skin. He turned Chan over soon as he was able to breathe, positioning his head onto his chest so Wonwoo could hold him close and press sweet kisses into his hair. Chan sighed, shakily but happy, nuzzling against Wonwoo's skin like a cat. 

“Thank you,” he murmured, already sounding half asleep despite all the mess they'd made. “Really, thank you.”

“What for? I think I got more out of it than you did.”

“Compromised to make me happy. I'll wait for you.”

Wonwoo ran his fingers through Chan's hair as he thought it over. He wasn't as blocked by the inherent terribleness as he was before, but he would still need time. Chan took that as good enough, curling up against Wonwoo's side with a kiss to his sternum before yawning sleepily. As gross and sticky as their bodies were, Wonwoo couldn't be bothered getting up either, so he let him rest for the time being. It was nice to feel Chan's warmth seep into his bones. Wonwoo would give him the world if he could.

He just had to get out of his head.

——————————

The months to July flew past. It was unfortunate for Wonwoo's eighteenth to fall on a Thursday, but he'd already organised to stay over at Soonyoung's on the weekend with his parents being away again, and having Junhui and Jihoon agreeing to join them was a bonus. They couldn't go out with Jihoon's birthday still a while away, but it wasn't something Wonwoo was interested in, anyway. 

Eighteen was objectively a major milestone, but it wasn't something he really cared about, if he was being completely honest. Chan was far more excited about it. Almost alarmingly so, and Wonwoo was fairly certain he knew why. Even though he'd backed off a little after what Wonwoo had said about needing time, Wonwoo had been hinting about being more comfortable with the idea over the past few weeks, and it hadn't gone unnoticed.

The way Chan rushed to get to the shower before Wonwoo could that night made it obvious enough. He was plotting something, and as much as Wonwoo was aware of what it was overall, he couldn't tell what Chan was planning to do leading up to it. The way he smiled shyly when he walked past the open bedroom door to get to his own room, hair damp and skin flushed, didn't give Wonwoo any kind of clue. What he got was something he never could have expected.

Light spilled from under Wonwoo's door when he came back from the bathroom, and he'd definitely turned it off before he left, so it was obvious enough that Chan was inside. He froze after swinging it open, the sight he was immediately met with too much to comprehend. Chan was on the bed, ass up and face buried in the sheets, but that wasn't what had Wonwoo quickly stepping inside to shut the door. 

He had three fingers slowly moving inside himself, squirming with the awkward angle not allowing them to get very deep, and his little whimpers sounded close to sobs. Wonwoo could only stare, jaw dropping when Chan pulled his fingers out entirely to show how much he'd been able to open himself up in the time Wonwoo was gone, a soft moan falling from his parted lips when he pushed them back inside. 

“Did you think I wouldn't practice for this?” Chan asked breathily. “You're gonna have to stretch me more, though. Your fingers are bigger than mine.”

He had the nerve to laugh when Wonwoo nearly tripped over himself to get to the bed after undressing, but Chan bit down on his bottom lip to stife a groan when he pulled his fingers out as Wonwoo reached for the lube. Wonwoo took in a deep breath to try to calm his pounding heart, clicking the cap to squeeze some onto his fingers before tossing the bottle onto the mattress. Chan had stretched himself out enough to start with two, but he still gasped at Wonwoo pushing them inside, his eyes falling closed when they were all the way.

“Feels so good,” he wiggled back to try try to get them deeper with a sigh. “More. Please give me another one, hyung. Please. ”

Wonwoo did as he was asked, going far slower to avoid hurting him, but Chan's impatience won out. He shoved his hips back, breath stuttering with the sudden stretch, but he reached to grab Wonwoo's wrist before he could take his fingers out. Chan sent him a glare when he opened his mouth to protest, having assumed that it would've been painful, so Wonwoo kept his concern to himself. It looked like Chan would throw a fit if he stopped. Wonwoo still wanted to at least make sure he was comfortable, taking an extra few minutes to be slow and careful until Chan huffed in frustration.

“Are you sure this is enough?” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow when Chan frowned. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“I'll be fine,” Chan watched as Wonwoo used the lube coating his fingers to slick up his cock, tongue poking out to wet his lips out of habit. “Promise I'll tell you to stop if it's too much.”

Even with him giving his word, it didn't feel right to do it that way. Chan gasped when Wonwoo flipped him over onto his back, blinking up at him with wide eyes and pink cheeks, too pretty for his own good. Wonwoo couldn't help bending to kiss his forehead, Chan tipping his head up to peck his lips before he could move too far away, and it was heartachingly sweet. The sound Chan made when Wonwoo lined up to push inside was just as sugary on his tongue.

“Oh, hyung,” he mewled, clawing at Wonwoo's shoulders as he kicked his hips up to try to force him deeper. “So big. More. Give me more.”

“No. Need to go slow,” Wonwoo warned through gritted teeth, gripping his waist with one hand to keep him still. “You're too tight.”

“Yeah?” Chan's eyes glittered with mischief as he twisted his fingers in the hair at Wonwoo's nape. “Virgin holes are supposed to be tight, aren't they? Does it feel good? It's all for you, hyungie.”

Wonwoo couldn't help burying himself deeper, opening his mouth to apologise when Chan gasped, but his words were stolen by the tongue licking inside. He was still only halfway, Chan's muffled whines clouding his mind, but Wonwoo knew he shouldn't let his words get to him so badly. Slow was how it had to be. Chan being himself wasn't helping.

“All the way,” he dug his heels into Wonwoo's lower back, forcing him forward. “I can take it.”

It didn't seem like Wonwoo had any say in it, Chan having become deceptively strong when he wasn't paying attention over the previous few months, so he was pulled in closer before he could even think to resist. Chan cried out when he was suddenly filled by the full length, but wrapped himself entirely around Wonwoo to keep him in place. 

“Does it hurt?” Wonwoo asked frantically, searching over Chan's face for signs of pain. “I'm so sorry, Chan-ah. Let me just-”

“No,” Chan murmured against his lips. “Doesn't hurt. Just need a second. I'm good.”

No matter what he claimed, Wonwoo softly kissed away any discomfort he might have been hiding, and Chan finally relaxed against the mattress with a small smile. Something about it tied knots in Wonwoo's stomach, an uncomfortable twist in his chest to see him that way, and of course Chan picked up on it immediately. He smoothed his thumb over Wonwoo's cheekbone until his brows stopped being furrowed so deeply. 

“I promise. Please stop worrying so much,” Chan kissed the tip of his nose before his entire demeanour changed, laying back fully with arms above his head and spreading his thighs wide. “Now, this was supposed to be your birthday gift. Take it. Fuck me.”

Wonwoo groaned when Chan tightened around him, taking a deep breath before shifting his hips back slightly to push back in deep. Chan's eyes fluttered closed when he drew back further to do it again, a sweet little sound falling from his parted lips with the slow roll of Wonwoo’s hips, and as much as it was lovely, Wonwoo wanted more. As much as it was lovely, it wasn't what Chan had asked for. 

Chan looked up at him in confusion when he pulled out almost all the way, eyes rolling back and moan punched from his throat with Wonwoo suddenly slamming back inside. His crazed grin made Wonwoo's heart skip a beat. Maybe it was terrible, but Wonwoo would give him anything he wanted. Even this.

“Turn me over,” Chan gasped when he went still. “Deeper. Wanna feel more.” 

Wonwoo did as he was told, flipping him over to be in the same position as before, staring at how much further Chan had been stretched by his cock until he reached back to smack his knee with an embarrassed whine. Holding Chan's waist to stop him from squirming so much, Wonwoo pushed back inside, deeper than he'd been able to get before. Chan panted heavily into the sheets when he started to move, moaning as he shoved his hips back to try to make Wonwoo go faster, and Wonwoo was powerless in holding back.

“Fuck,” he groaned, tightening his hold on Chan's waist as he sped up. “You feel so good. How are you so good?”

“Told you I-” Chan cut himself off with a soft whimper at the new angle, taking a second to collect himself enough to speak again. “Told you I know what I'm doing. Wanted to be good for you.”

“Perfect. You're perfect,” Wonwoo kissed between his shoulder blades, already getting close himself. “Can you come for hyung, Channie?” 

Chan's breaths turned frantic when he reached between his legs, crying out as soon as he wrapped his fingers around his cock, squeezing around Wonwoo tight when he came. Wonwoo moaned at the feeling, pushing in as far as he could to get his come in deep, Chan letting out a high pitched whine when he realised that he came inside. He collapsed to the side after pulling out, Chan clinging to him immediately and nuzzling into Wonwoo's chest with a happy little sigh.

“Sorry I didn't ask if it was okay inside,” Wonwoo grimaced at the thought. “Are you okay?”

“Seriously? Hyung, that was so hot,” Chan lifted his head, eyes wide and earnest. “I swear I would've told you to, anyway.”

Shaking his head at his eagerness, Wonwoo dragged him back down to his chest before he could say anything worse, Chan giggling against his skin making his stomach flip. He refused to let himself get weird about it for Chan's sake. Making him happy was all Wonwoo wanted. 

Maybe that wasn't the best mindset to have in their situation. 

——————————

“Why haven't you ever dated anyone? Saving yourself for someone special?”

Taken off guard, Wonwoo stared at Soonyoung, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly as his mind spun. Soonyoung was even more unpredictable when he'd been drinking, but that was a random question even for him, not having anything to do with the conversation they were already having sitting on the carpet of his living room. Jihoon and Junhui took it significantly better.

“Not everyone can be like you, Soonyoung-ah,” Jihoon rolled his eyes. “Shockingly, some people aren't interested in being on-again off-again with someone who only wants to fuck when their boyfriends are being annoying.”

“I don't like what you're implying about Jeonghan-hyung. It's an open relationship,” Soonyoung narrowed his eyes after taking a sip from his can. “He's a sweetheart and you know it. Even Wonwoo could probably go for him if he played his cards right.”

“Oh my god,” Junhui groaned from behind his hands. “Why are you offering your own situationship?”

“It's not a situationship! Friends can fuck sometimes, you know!”

The can in Wonwoo's sweaty palm turned warm as he watched the three of them argue. He wasn't given the opportunity to defend himself, but it wasn't like he could anyway. Sure, Jeonghan was lovely and friends can fuck if they want to, but that wasn't what Wonwoo wanted. He couldn't tell them that he'd had his fifteen year old brother writhing under him that morning, Chan begging for him to go harder, faster, ‘Please, hyung, please!’, and no matter what he'd been trying to tell himself, he never could. Never.

Wonwoo's head continued spinning until he found himself lying on the floor with Junhui wrapped around him like a koala and Soonyoung's back pressed against his other side, only Jihoon's soft snores from the couch breaking the quiet. The mattress wasn't very comfortable, but they made do with what they had whenever they were together. He assumed Soonyoung was in just as deep a sleep as the other two until he sighed.

“Hey, Wonwoo-yah?” Soonyoung turned over to squint at his face in the darkness. “How's Channie?”

“He's fine,” Wonwoo whispered back, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. “Why?”

“Haven't seen him in a while,” Soonyoung hummed in thought. “And you never talk about him anymore.”

“He's good. I promise,” Wonwoo fought the tightening in his chest at the frown he got back. “Go to sleep, Soonyoung-ah. It's late.”

Soonyoung stared for an uncomfortably long time, his lips pressed into a thin line, but he eventually laid back down with a grumble Wonwoo couldn't decipher. Whatever he said didn't really matter. It still made Wonwoo's stomach churn.

The feeling stuck in his throat like a pill lodged halfway, leaving Wonwoo antsy and unable to sleep even after Soonyoung’s breaths finally evened out for the night. As much as he loved being with his friends, and for all that it was fucking with his head, Wonwoo itched to get back to Chan. Chan was safety. Wonwoo's heart ached.

He tried to not be too obvious about wanting to leave when the sun came up, but Wonwoo wriggled out of Junhui's arms as soon as he stirred awake. The others looked up at him blearily when he started packing away the few things he'd taken out of his overnight bag, clumsily pulling on a hoodie with his hands shaking, but they didn't say anything about it. They didn't say anything at all outside of sleepy goodbyes when it was obvious enough that Wonwoo was leaving, and that was something to be grateful for. Wonwoo didn't think he'd be able to lie in his current state. 

Jihoon and Junhui had buried their faces back into their pillows by the time he reached the door, but Wonwoo felt Soonyoung's eyes boring into his back. He couldn't bear turning around to see whatever expression he was wearing. Wonwoo wouldn't have been able to take the knowing. Getting back without falling apart was preferable, so Wonwoo gripped the handle without a word, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could with the tremors. 

It was early enough for Chan to still be asleep when he somehow managed to get home in one piece, but Wonwoo couldn't find it in himself to feel bad for waking him up when he cracked one eye open with a small, confused smile as he crawled into his bed. Chan didn't question it, choosing to simply cuddle into Wonwoo's chest with a happy little sigh when he was wrapped up in his arms tight. It was enough to settle the restlessness in Wonwoo's bones. 

Terrible or not, Wonwoo had dug his shovel in the dirt and now he had to lie in the grave he'd made. It was where he wanted to be.

——————————

Moving in with Soonyoung the next year made sense. 

His parents were never home and he got sick of being in a big empty house alone, so he practically begged Wonwoo to join him after they managed to fudge their way into the same college. Wonwoo was fine with it as long as it wasn't too far from his family home. The reason why didn't really need to be disclosed. It was nice to have Chan come around on Saturday's, especially with the way Soonyoung was going through his party phase. 

As much as he loved Soonyoung to pieces, having him rarely be home on weekends gave Wonwoo and Chan the full privacy they'd been craving. It gave them the opportunity to try new things. Mostly Chan's terrible ideas. They were all mind melting, but there was one that changed everything. The worst part was that it was almost entirely an accident. 

Chan had made Wonwoo stay sitting on the bed while he disappeared into the bathroom. Suspicious as it was, Wonwoo knew better than to question whatever he had planned. He'd offhandedly mentioned wanting to dress up a few times, so Wonwoo could assume that was what he was doing since Chan had taken his bag in with him, but nothing could have prepared him for how he'd come back out again. 

Cheeks flushed as pink as the pleated fabric hanging from his hips, Chan giggled behind his hand when Wonwoo's jaw dropped. He stood between Wonwoo's legs after he moved to sit at the edge of the bed and beckoned him closer, biting his bottom lip when Wonwoo ran his fingertips lightly over the stockings ending halfway up his thighs, the squeeze to the exposed skin just below the hem of the skirt making Chan gasp. Wonwoo couldn't help openly staring as his hands roamed over Chan's body, finally wrapping them around his waist to pull him forward and into his lap.

“What the fuck, Chan-ah,” he shook his head in disbelief when Chan grinned. “How did you even get these?”

“You can buy anything online, silly. Had to spend my birthday money on something,” Chan shrugged as if he wasn't turning Wonwoo's world upside-down. “You like it?”

Wonwoo didn't bother answering, shoving his hands under the back of the skirt to harshly dig his fingers into the flesh of Chan's ass, nipping at the side of his neck when he threw his head back with a breathy moan. It was frustrating to hold back from biting down, but they couldn't risk marks in the warmer months no matter how badly Wonwoo wanted to sink his teeth in, so he eased his mind by dragging Chan forward to sit properly over his cock. Chan squeaked in surprise, catching himself on Wonwoo's shoulders before he could topple backwards, but the sparkle in his eyes came back in a second.

“Wanna eat me out?” 

He landed on his back when Wonwoo threw him to the bed, gasping when he was manhandled onto his front in a rare show of strength and desperation, but Chan let himself be pulled up by the hips and spread his knees wide. The fabric scrunched in Wonwoo's fingers when he pushed the skirt up just enough to lick over Chan's hole, the whimper he let out making his head spin with want. That part was nothing new, both of them discovering it was one of their favourite things after Chan decided he wanted to keep his body smooth, but something about it was different like this. 

“Oh, fuck,” Chan shuddered and clawed at the bedcovers when Wonwoo's tongue pushed inside. “So good. Feels so good, daddy.”

Wonwoo froze, the old danger warnings flashing behind his eyes. As much as he considered Chan's mother to be his own, he hadn't come out of her womb. They did share a father. His blood ran cold, discomfort twisting his stomach, but the wrong disgusting rotten thoughts settled differently than they used to. 

“Oh my god,” Chan seemed to realise what he'd said only when Wonwoo pulled away, his chest heaving and eyes wide when they met his own. “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-” 

“Say it again.”

“I… what?” his brows furrowed in confusion, trying to wriggle out of Wonwoo’s hold on his hips until he properly took in the way he was forcing the neutral expression, a small smile curling Chan's lips as he relaxed back down. “Ah, I see. You really are just as sick as me, aren't you?”

“I said,” Wonwoo clenched his jaw, his grip turning bruisingly tight. “Say it again.”

“Anything you want, daddy.”

Chan yelped when he was spread almost painfully wide, writhing as Wonwoo shoved his tongue all the way inside with a low moan. Maybe he was right. Maybe Wonwoo was even sicker for going along with it, liking it, wanting more from the sixteen year old boy almost sobbing with pleasure as he worked him open, but it didn't matter. All he cared about was Chan’s eyes rolling back from his cock sinking inside, his cries of ‘daddy, daddy, daddy!’ echoing through the apartment as he fell apart untouched, and the way he tried to force Wonwoo deeper with a happy little sigh when he eventually came inside. 

Maybe they were sick, but at least they had each other. 

——————————

Somehow, it went far too well for far too long. 

Chan stayed over even on the weekends Soonyoung stayed home, and that was perfectly fine. They'd always gotten along like a house on fire despite the years between them, only getting closer as time wore on, and it was genuinely sweet. On those nights, Chan would squish between them on their small couch to watch movies, sometimes with Junhui and Jihoon or even Seungkwan and Vernon tagging along after they'd gotten their licences. 

Maybe he got a little too close on purpose to rile Wonwoo up at times, but it could be passed off as Chan's natural clinginess to the untrained eye. He always got what he wanted out of it when the others went home and they were sure Soonyoung had fallen asleep. Wonwoo would call him a demon, Chan would giggle innocently until he was fucked into the mattress, and the cycle continued. The issue was when it was broken.

They should have known better than to get complacent.

It was a regular, entirely ordinary afternoon, comfortably sitting at opposite ends of the couch on their phones, when Soonyoung told them he was going out. Wonwoo hoped his expression was bored enough when he gave him a thumbs up, but Chan didn't even bother hiding his excitement. He jumped up from the couch to wrap his arms around Soonyoung's middle in a tight hug before running to the bathroom with a cheery goodbye, and Wonwoo could only shrug when Soonyoung looked at him in bewilderment. It wasn't like Wonwoo could just say why Chan was happy to have him out of the apartment for the first time in a while.

Luckily, Soonyoung was gone by the time Chan came back out of the shower, his skin soft and smooth when he leaped into Wonwoo's arms and wrapped his bare legs around his waist. He leaned in close to lick over his bottom lip, smiling into the kiss when Wonwoo wouldn't let him draw back enough to break it until he started walking them into the bedroom. 

“I've missed being loud,” Chan smirked when Wonwoo dropped him to the bed with a pained groan. “Are you gonna make me scream, daddy?”

“You want me to?” Wonwoo crawled over Chan's body, voice low in the way he knew made him shiver. “I think you should work for it.”

Chan's jaw dropped, blinking up at Wonwoo in confusion when he didn't immediately get what he asked for for once, but he figured it out when Wonwoo rolled his eyes before throwing his clothes onto the floor and laying on his back. He hurried to do the same after grabbing the lube, settling himself over Wonwoo's thighs to pour some into his palm and wasting no time to slick up his cock. Wonwoo couldn't help huffing a laugh at the way Chan was trying to move so quickly, but he held him away when he tried to line up without prepping himself.

“What do you think you're doing?” he asked in disbelief, only getting more concerned when Chan raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to get hurt?”

“Do you really think I'm that dumb?” Chan rolled his eyes before lowering himself down, the head of Wonwoo’s cock sliding inside easily. “You thought I wouldn't stretch in the shower? Silly daddy.”

Wonwoo considered arguing, but there really wasn't any point, especially when Chan sat all the way down against his hips in seconds. He was getting unbearably good at taking cock, moaning breathily with his head thrown back, and it wasn't the first time that Wonwoo wondered how much more Chan could take. Chan opened up so easily but stayed so tight, definitely able to be stretched further, but there hadn't been an opportunity to bring it up. Wonwoo forced the thought away when Chan whined about him being distracted. 

“Told me to work for it and you're not even paying attention,” he pouted as he slowly rolled his hips. “What are you thinking about?”

“You,” Wonwoo answered honestly, running his palms up Chan's thighs to his waist. “Always you. So pretty like this.”

Chan smacked his arm, blush raging on his cheeks, but he couldn't hide his satisfied smile. Doling out compliments would always make him soft and sweet, and Wonwoo would give them freely whenever he could, but he knew gentle wasn't what Chan wanted. He took him by surprise by tightening his grip, lifting Chan up to drive him back down hard, harsh enough to have him almost falling forward. Chan was only taken off guard for a second, laughing when Wonwoo did it again.

“Knew you wouldn't be able to control yourself. So predictable,” he shook his head in fake disappointment before bending down to whisper in Wonwoo's ear. “Don't hold back, daddy. Make me scream.”

Wonwoo wrapped his arms over Chan's back to hold him in place, slamming into him hard and fast so suddenly that he couldn't stop his knees sliding further and further apart, collapsing down with his full weight on Wonwoo's body as moans were punched from his throat. Not quite screaming, but definitely close, Chan's cries only getting louder with Wonwoo digging his fingers into his skin. 

Too loud to hear keys jingling in the lock and footsteps coming up the hallway.

“Wow. You guys couldn't even shut the door?”

That made Chan scream. He sat up in shock with his hand covering his mouth, getting off of Wonwoo so quickly that it made both of them hiss, but Soonyoung had already turned to walk away before they could say anything. Wonwoo snapped out of it first, barely thinking to put his pants on before chasing after him.

“Soonyoung, wait. I-”

“What? Gonna try to explain yourself? Tell me it isn't what it looks like?” Soonyoung whirled around, scowling at Wonwoo with his arms crossed over his chest. “Save it. Everyone knows you're fucking him.” 

Wonwoo reeled back, stuck motionless under Soonyoung's unwavering, venomous stare, unable to speak even if he tried. It finally happened. They got caught. Coming from Soonyoung made the sting hurt more than if it had been anyone else. He couldn't breathe.

“Ah, you're such a good actor, Soonyoungie-hyung,” Chan broke the tension when he stepped out, only wearing Wonwoo's shirt that was too big for his frame, falling off one shoulder but barely hitting midthigh. “It's so obvious that you've had a crush on hyung forever. Do you wish you were the one being split open?”

“I, uh,” Soonyoung stood frozen, caught like a deer in headlights with all bravado gone from the unexpected question. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Or are you jealous of hyung getting to fuck me? You think it's hot, right?” he continued, standing on his tiptoes to loop his arms around Soonyoung's shoulders and lean in close. “You said everyone knows I'm getting fucked by my brother, and maybe they do, but you like thinking about it.”

“Chan,” Wonwoo warned, voice lowering an octave deeper. “What are you doing?”

“I've been moulded for Wonwoo-hyung's cock for years now, but you knew that already, didn't you? I haven't even turned eighteen yet, Soonyoungie-hyung.”

Wonwoo's hands clenched into tight fists, hearing the wrong disgusting rotten words tumbling from Chan's mouth making him shake with anxious rage, but the way Soonyoung's eyes glazed over made him pause. That was new. Chan looked back to him in question, silently asking for permission to keep going, and Wonwoo couldn't say he wasn't curious. 

Maybe rotten apples don't fall far from the tree.

So he nodded, unable to keep the corners of his mouth lifting up when Chan brightened before turning his attention back to Soonyoung, who was still standing with a dazed look on his face that Wonwoo understood perfectly. Chan tended to have that effect when he got like this. 

“Soonyoungie-hyung,” he called sweetly, cupping his cheek to get his attention. “Would you like to have a taste?”

Soonyoung's eyes widened, frightened when they locked onto Wonwoo's, but he relaxed slightly when he found no sign of him being against it. Wonwoo leaned back against the wall to watch as Chan waited for Soonyoung to give the okay, surging up to capture his lips in a biting kiss after his whispered ‘yes’, purring in delight when trembling hands made their way to his waist. It made Wonwoo roll his eyes, Chan just having to make a show of it, but they did look good together. 

He expected jealousy to rear its ugly head at the sight of Chan basically slutting himself out to his best friend, but it never came. That was probably something Wonwoo should think about later. There wasn't room in his mind for anything more than what was happening in front of him with Soonyoung getting comfortable in the situation he'd landed himself in. His heart thumped when they parted for Chan to latch his lips onto the side of his neck, Soonyoung's eyes trailing back to Wonwoo with the same dazed, heated look. Oh. 

Wonwoo hadn't really connected what Chan had said before; “It's so obvious that you've had a crush on hyung forever”. He didn't think it was obvious at all. Maybe Wonwoo really was more blind than he'd thought.

His feet carried him over before his brain could catch up when Soonyoung reached one hand out towards him, holding the back of Wonwoo’s neck without trying to drag him down until Wonwoo realised he was waiting on him first, crashing their mouths together as soon as he nodded. Kissing Soonyoung was so different from Chan, sugary from the energy drink he'd stolen from Wonwoo's stash without brushing his teeth and lacking finesse, but it was electrifying all the same. It was painfully Soonyoung.

“Damn,” Chan whistled when Wonwoo gripped Soonyoung's jaw. “We should've done this ages ago.”

Soonyoung moaned into Wonwoo's mouth, trying to nod but not quite able to with being held in place, and Wonwoo could picture Chan's excited grin without needing to look. He didn't really want to know how long they considered ‘ages ago’ to be, the timing for what they were doing already kind of terrible under the circumstances, but Chan seemed to understand Soonyoung's stance on everything, anyway. 

“What would you like from us?” he asked when they parted, eyes trained on Soonyoung's lips shiny with spit. “Your choice.”

“Anything,” Soonyoung answered immediately. “Whatever you'll give me.”

“Oh, really?” Chan raised an eyebrow, slowly turning to Wonwoo with the look that meant something terrible was coming. “What do you think, daddy?”

Wonwoo pointedly ignored the strangled noise Soonyoung made, his brain instantly bringing back the thought from earlier. He tipped Chan's head up before loosely wrapping his fingers around his throat, the barely-there pressure still making his next breath come out shakily, waiting for whatever Wonwoo was going to say with sparkly eyes as if a switch had been flipped. 

“Do you think you could take both of us?”

“At the same time?” Soonyoung cut in before Chan could answer, looking at Wonwoo like he'd finally lost it. “Are you trying to break him?”

“I think I can,” Chan blushed when both heads snapped his way. “I wanna try.”

“You're both insane.”

Chan giggled as he grabbed Soonyoung's hand to drag him to the bedroom, Wonwoo following with a fond smile that probably should've been out of place for what they were doing, but he couldn't help it. For better or worse, they were his two favourite people. It was cute seeing Chan trying to take Soonyoung's clothes off without breaking their kiss, always itching to reach more warm skin, but Wonwoo couldn't just stand there watching forever. 

Soonyoung shuddered when large hands were placed on his waist, leaning back against Wonwoo's bare chest with a shaky sigh, tipping his head to the side to give him more access to his neck as Chan finally managed to slide his jeans down his legs. He looked so pretty on his knees, and something about seeing him that way from over Soonyoung's shoulder made Wonwoo's stomach tighten, but it wasn't in a bad way. It was pure want.

“Up,” Wonwoo demanded just as Chan hooked his fingers under the waistband of Soonyoung's underwear. “Come here.”

Brows furrowed in confusion, Chan did as he was told, squeaking in surprise when he was dragged forward to meet his lips with Soonyoung still between them. Wonwoo tightened his other hand on Soonyoung's waist, not meaning to grind against him, but he pressed himself back further with a gasp. “Do you wish you were the one being split open?” whirled in Wonwoo's brain. He sunk his teeth into Chan's bottom lip at the thought, making both of them whimper when he rolled his hips properly. It wasn't what they were going to be doing, but Wonwoo knew they were all thinking the same.

“Next time,” Chan left no room for argument about there even being a next time, pulling back to watch his fingertip ghosting up the length of Soonyoung's dick through his underwear. “Right now, I want this in me.”

Reluctantly, Wonwoo moved away for Soonyoung to lay down as he searched for the lube they'd abandoned. Finding that it had rolled under the bed, he wasn't too surprised to see Chan with his lips already around Soonyoung's cock when he stood back up, Soonyoung clearly trying to keep himself from bucking into his mouth with fingers tight in his hair. It made Wonwoo hold back a laugh, running his thumb over Chan's hip when he whined. 

“He wants you to hold him down,” Wonwoo placed his hand over Soonyoung's, pushing Chan's head until his nose was bumping against his pelvis. “Keep him there.” 

“Fucking hell,” Soonyoung's eyes turned wide when Chan moaned around him from the slick fingers being pushed back inside. “What have you been doing to him?”

“You think I made him like this?” Wonwoo frowned at the accusation hitting such a sore spot, running his hand soothingly over Chan's back when he made a sad, confused noise. “Channie taught himself everything. He started it. I would never hurt him like that, Soonyoung-ah.”

“Sorry. I didn't mean it that way,” he cringed, smiling softly when Chan tapped his side to let him up with a little cough. “I know you wouldn't.”

“It's alright. I kinda brought it on myself,” Chan shrugged before climbing forward to hover above his hips. “And now you get the pleasure of experiencing it.”

Wonwoo didn't dare blink when he slowly sunk down, watching Soonyoung's hands tighten on Chan's thighs as his cock disappeared inside, all the way until he was fully seated with a sigh. Seeing Chan that way with someone else made Wonwoo's chest ache. It wasn't quite jealousy, difficult to put a name to with it clogging his brain, but he felt the need to wrap his arms over Chan's stomach to hold him close.

“Feeling possessive, daddy?” Chan smirked when Wonwoo grumbled against his shoulder. “You're not being left out, remember? Hurry up.”

Chan bent to press a quick kiss to Soonyoung's lips before nuzzling into the side of his neck, and the sight alone made Wonwoo's heart stutter. It was a position he'd seen them in many times, comfortable and sweet, but not with Chan's ass stuffed full and ready for more. He only just had the sense to stretch him further, hearing Soonyoung groan with the fingers sliding in beside him, but he wanted to be sure Chan wouldn't have to go through unnecessary pain no matter how much he complained about it taking too long. 

Forcing himself to stay still was agonising, but Chan's body tensed up when he started to push inside, so he waited for him to adjust with his jaw clenched hard. Soonyoung wasn't faring any better, panting heavily and scrunching his eyes closed until Chan whispered that it was okay to keep going. Wonwoo moved as slowly as he could with the tightness surrounding him, able to feel Soonyoung twitching against his cock when he managed to get all the way inside. 

“Are you alright?” his voice came out strained. “Both of you?”

“It's… a lot. But I'm good, yeah,” Chan hummed, giggling when Soonyoung groaned beneath him. “Can't speak for hyung, though.”

“I swear to god-” Soonyoung gasped as Chan tightened around them. “If we don't start moving I will actually die.”

“Feels too good?” Chan lifted his head to look into Soonyoung's eyes, slowly running his tongue over his bottom lip. “Fill me up so well with daddy, hyungie. Want more. Fuck me.”

Soonyoung kicked his hips up without warning, taking Wonwoo and Chan off guard even if it was what he was told to do. Chan collapsed back down to his shoulder with a choked off moan, and Wonwoo couldn't help his own snapping forward at the feeling, going in opposite time to Soonyoung when he started moving properly. The sounds Chan made as he writhed between them were as sweet as they were sinful, only getting louder with Soonyoung digging his nails into his back and Wonwoo speeding up. 

It was easy to tell when he was getting close after being together like this for so long, but Chan still waited for him to say it was okay to come, and Wonwoo wanted to stretch it out just a little longer. He wanted Soonyoung to come first. With the way he was fucking into Chan so desperately, Wonwoo guessed it wouldn't take much more to get him there. He was right.

“Shit. I'm gonna-”

“Inside,” Chan cut Soonyoung off, tightening around them like he was trying to force it. “Please, please, come in me, hyungie.”

That was all it took, Soonyoung going still with his cock buried deep, and Wonwoo swore he could feel Chan being filled. He lifted him up the second Soonyoung slipped out, flipping Chan over so he could watch his eyes roll back from the harsh snapping of his hips. Chan's full body shook as he took in gasping breaths with tears streaming down his cheeks, and as fucked up as it was, the sight alone brought Wonwoo unbearably close to the edge. 

“You can come, Chan-ah,” his voice was almost unrecognisable to his own ears, bordering on a growl. “Daddy wants to watch you come.”

Soonyoung appeared at their side, wrapping his fingers around Chan's cock before he could do it himself. His back arched off the bed as he spilled onto his stomach with a high pitched wail, spasming until Wonwoo slammed inside one final time to add to the mess Soonyoung had made of his hole. They were on Chan immediately, Soonyoung pressing kisses all over his face as Wonwoo got him cleaned up, the way he complained about the coddling making him have to hold back a laugh. Adorable.

For all that it was terrible, wrong disgusting rotten, Wonwoo couldn't think of anywhere he'd rather be.

——————————

Nobody questioned Chan's decision to move in with them the following year. Soonyoung had said it himself.