#song for...

Kagami remembered it as if it had happened yesterday.

It was a Tuesday, the one weekday where the two of you had the time to meet between work hours during the day, between Kagami’s shifts and yours. Being a firefighter wasn’t easy, you knew, but you were proud of your boyfriend for being so passionately dedicated to his job.

Even if it meant spending less time with him, you made up for it by loving him more in whatever few hours you could spend together. Kagami didn’t mind that either, of course.

Then you arrived at the café in the worst possible time.

And everything began to move in a downward spiral from there.

The two of you had been together for three years. Three years of reluctant goodbyes at train stations, of light smiles and stolen kisses, of laughter and tears shared.

Three years of loving everything about you, and wanting to do anything for you.

All Kagami had ever wanted to do was to make you happy.

But now he can only sit outside your hospital room, unable to even make himself see you, the sadness and the guilt tugging at his heart so strongly that he’s having trouble breathing, and he lowers his head to his arms, hoping no one can see such a strong man crying.

“Who the hell was that?!” you yelled.

“Just listen to me! Calm down!” Kagami shouted back. “I can explain! That was Alex, remember I told you about her? My basketball mentor from when I was in America! Remember?”

“Your mentor?” you laughed, and the disbelief in your eyes only caused Kagami’s heart to sink. “You want me to believe that the beautiful girl kissing you in broad daylight is only your teacher? I expected excuses but this really takes the cake, Taiga.”

Kagami took a shuddering breath. “Look, I told you before that she’s got a kind of…kissing bug, I don’t even know…it’s really simple, I’ll just call up Alex, she’ll clear things up—”

He was reaching for his phone when you scoffed quietly, your back turned to him. “Unbelievable.”

His heart clenched, and he froze. “What?” he asked, voice harsh. You shook your head without turning around. “I may be a fool, but I’m not blind. Do you think so little of me that you think calling her will make me believe you?”

Kagami swallowed, despite the dryness in his throat. His body felt hot, and he could hear the blood pounding in his ears.

“Why are you always like this?” he burst out. You turned sharply, eyebrows raised, and Kagami went on: “You’re always looking down on me, belittling me, pushing me around. Why am I always the one making sure you’re happy?

Have you ever thought about how I feel?”

“Kagami-kun.”

Kagami looks up at the sound of his name, seeing Kuroko in front of him. His best friend’s face is impassive as always, but there’s a certain sadness in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says simply, and Kagami looks away.

“It was my fault, Kuroko, I—”

“There was nothing you could do.”

Kagami clenches his fist, slamming it against his knee angrily. “How could you say that?” he demands. “There are so many things I could have done! I should have—”

“You couldn’t have stopped her.”

Kagami flinches. “If only I’d…”

“You’ve spent too long making her happy that neither of you ever considered if you were happy,” Kuroko says gently. “It was only a matter of time before one of you gave out. It was only an accident that this happened. At least she’s still here, Kagami-kun.”

Exhaling sharply, Kagami forces himself to look behind him, through the glass window of your hospital room, at your sleeping form, of a person who no longer knows him.

“Is she?”

The fight was unlike any that you’d had before.

Words were said that would have been better left unspoken, and threats were made that should have never left your mouth.

“I’m not cheating on you! How many times do I have to say it for you to believe me?”

“You can’t fool me, Kagami, you’ve lied to me before!”

“I lie to you because I love you! Do you think it’s easy to be with you?”

“So you admit it? You’re sick of me so you went and got another girlfriend behind my back?”

“To hell with that! Why are you making me the bad guy? You’re the one who won’t listen to reason! Why are you making this so difficult for me?”

“Fuck you! I’m never listening to you again, Kagami Taiga. And you know what?”

And then:

“I wish I’d never met you!”

You look up, brow furrowing as the large red-haired man walks tentatively into your room. For such a big person he sure looks terrified at the sight of you.

“Um,” you start, and Kagami inhales. You avert your gaze, unsure of why your heart is beating nervously. You have no memory of this man, so why is it so difficult to look at him?

Why does he look so sad?

“Who…who are you to me?” You say carefully, fingers tightening around the blanket on your lap. You watch Kagami from the corner of your eye, wondering how he’ll respond.

Kagami takes a deep breath, then steps forward to sit down on the chair by your bed. “You don’t remember me,” he begins, and every word tastes like bile, burns in his throat and sends ice down his spine. “But I had made a promise.”

“A promise?” You look so confused, so innocent - Kagami remembers vividly how angry, how hurt you were just a week ago.

“I promised to make you happy.” Kagami’s voice shakes and he realizes he’s crying. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t fulfill it. I couldn’t keep my promise.”

You frowned. “Is…is that why I’m here? Is that why I can’t remember who you are?” Your voice is quavering and Kagami resists the urge to wrap you in his arms. He blinks rapidly, looking away as he wipes his palm across his cheek.

“You’ll find out eventually, but please…” Kagami clears his throat and stands, suddenly wanting to leave the room. He can’t hold his tears much longer, seeing you like this.

A PAIN that was set deep inside my chest that never seems to disappear no matter how long it takes