#some help here

I've gotten two lectures this week about what should I do to figure out my future, two about what I'm supposed to do in my future and one about how I need to start working on whatever I want for my future... All of them from different people and guess what? The only thing they accomplished was to make me sad. After my mental/emotional break down from last month, I've been great. Happy. Confident. But then again life got me into this mess... I can't say I'm feeling depressed again because that's not exactly the case. I mean all I do now is think about my future and how lost I am when it comes to my goals. First, I don't think I have a goal or an exact dream in life (besides marrying Nick Jonas). I know things I want to do and those that I don't want to do in my life. And I know that if I don't do everything I won't exactly feel like I've failed (if that makes any sense). I know: *I want to work at Disney at some point. I don't actually care if I work as a screenwriter for the ABC or as a hostess in the Mexico's Pavilion at Epcot. *I want to get at least 4 tattoos. *I want to live in New York. (Manhattan or Bronx... I don't care) *I want to be a Vogue's Magazine photographer. *I want to get a Master's degree from NYFA or USC. *I want to write and be read. *I want to work in music industry too. Again, I don't care if I'm a producer, a radio speaker or just part of some venue staff. *I want to be someone. To inspire people and mark their lives in a good way. *I don't want to get stuck in my hometown. *I don't want to have someone with me all the time for the rest of my life. It's not like I'm thinking about getting divorced and jump right into someone else asap; it's more like I'm not willing to get married and be attached to someone because I have to, because that's what society says. *At least for now, I don't think I'll ever be wanting a family to settle down in a place. (for ME that's a synonym of getting stuck). *I don't want stability... I want balance. But all of these things I know I want I also know I have to work for them the thing is I don't know how... I mean. I've been feeling a little left out because almost everyone I know is either getting a job or getting away for a while at least. I know I'd like to go on a exchange experience and be totally independent and meet new people and new places and stuff... But I do know I don't want to go any place I want to get that while being in NYFA or USC (and those places for now are unable for me because I don't have the money to pay for them or the grades to get a scholarship) or Disney. Anyhow, everything kind of depends on Disney work which depends if I get accepted or not for a Cultural Exchange Program after I'm graduated... But I can't exactly graduate if I don't get a job soon because my parents want me out of here as soon as I'm finished, which means I have to save money for whatever I want to go so we are back at the job and then I think why do I want to have a good job and get a good check if I'm going to quit as soon as I can go to the U.S. And do whatever I already said before. Plus if I get a job now I won't exactly be around the area I want to work in because I'm not freaking sure about that either... I know what I like and what I'm good at but I'm not sure that's what will make me happy. Life is so confusing and I hate people asking me about my future. I'm 21 and I don't fucking know what I'll do, which concerns me because everyone else seem sure about what they want in 5 or 10 years and I don't even know if I want coffee or tea for my afternoon snack. I hate this and I hate the fact that I can't help thinking everything is up to fate while my parents are saying fate won't get me a job if I don't send my resumé...