#solo leveling reader insert

There’s someone staring at him. 

He would have quietly sent out his shadows after them, but he could tell they didn’t have any malicious intent. However, it did feel very intense. And… familiar? As if he could tell that it was someone he knew. Something inside Jinwoo’s chest felt warm, the black heart he carried around with him seemed to beat faster. Now that was rather concerning. Ashborn only seemed to wake up when he was in a gate or he could detect a monarch (rarely although it did happen, he would sometimes strike up a conversation). Jinwoo looks around in alarm.

When Jinwoo finally finds your glimmering eyes staring at him, he watches as they switch from curiosity to familiarity. You grin at him, bright and ever so blinding. Jinwoo feels Ashborn’s heart thump so hard in his chest that he grabs at the front of his shirt in a failed effort to calm it. He blinks and his vision blurs. He suddenly sees something else. He’s suddenly somewhere else. The place is familiar (that word seems to come so naturally right now). Jinwoo knows it’s memories that don’t belong to him. 

He is on a small hill surrounded by a sea of flowers. He leans on a large tree that shields him from the sun overhead; it’s so peaceful that the owner of the eyes Jinwoo is watching from aren’t concerned in the slightest. Jinwoo wanted to be on high alert, but the viewer felt differently, almost right at home.  

Ashborn’s memories.  

He hears rustling and a soft giggle and when Jinwoo – Ashborn? – looks to his side, he breathes out a sigh of disbelief. Jinwoo has seen a lot of things inside and outside gates, and yet- 

Lovely.

Your clothes are of royalty, detailed and even decorated with gems (were those magic crystals?) and what seemed to be high-quality fabric. Jinwoo suddenly felt that the title “monarch” fit you better than him or even Ashborn. But the accessories you wore paled in comparison to your own natural features.

From the way the air tousled at your hair and the way your skin soaked in the sun from the soft rays that slipped past the foliage, the both of them thought you were lovely in all accounts. You join Jinwoo beneath the tree and lean against it. You grin – something familiar, and yet not at all – and he looks to your lips as you grin. “Did I make you wait long? To be quite honest, I did not think you’d actually come to visit me again. But I am very happy you’re here!”

He wants to say that he doesn’t know you (that he missed the sight of you), and that he shouldn’t be here (that there was no other place he would have rather been). But no words leave him. 

The grin slowly leaves your lips and you tilt your head in confusion at the lack of a reply. Jinwoo watches as your lips move to say Ashborn?, but instead, he hears his name instead.  

He blinks and suddenly he finds himself staring at Cha Hae-in’s grey eyes, watching him curiously, the loving undertone beneath them isn’t lost on him.

Love…ly?

Jinwoo smiles softly at Hae-in. Right, right. He was supposed to hang out with Hae-in today. As friends, anyway. Although he can’t quite match her feelings for him yet, he respected her all the same. 

Feelings… He remembers a beautiful smile and a hill of flowers.

He forces himself not to, but eventually, Ashborn – of course it was Ashborn, who else? – makes him give in and looks back at you. His heart thumps – it’s Ashborn’s, how many times does he have to tell him that? – pathetically in his chest. 

Your eyes are on him still and Jinwoo knows you never looked away, not when he saw the memory, not when Hae-in came up beside him. Your eyes are on him and a part of him-

ASHBORN. A part of Ashborn-

-hurts. It hurts. Jinwoo sees a flash of hurt in yours too. Deep rooted. A betrayal, one he prays he will never know. He doesn’t have to think too much into whatever your relationship with Ashborn is just by the way his chest continues to get impossibly tighter and by the way your eyes stay solely on him across the busy street. 

Jinwoo knows what it probably looks like to you. He hears his name again and feels a tug on his sleeve. Hae-in, remaining ever so blissfully unaware of what was going on in Jinwoo’s head, smiles again when their eyes meet. She knows that sometimes he just gets like that – a little lost in his thoughts, thinking deep (listening, really) – and it helps to bring him back to reality with a small reminder. 

Like right now. She tugs again.

Right, Jinwoo breathes in and out to focus. He forces the voice in his head to be quiet (it tells him to at least come closer, to make sure that you have been well all this time) and he ignores the way his heart thumps pathetically in his chest (Jinwoo reminds it that he owns the body and a small voice in the back of his mind replies: Not completely.)

Something about your presence unnerved him. Like your very existence didn’t bode well for him. The black heart in his chest constricts painfully the more he thought about it.

His mother is awake, his sister is happy, his father is home, and he has friends like Hae-in. Jinwoo is content (he will not know the betrayal he saw in your eyes. Maybe before Ashborn, but not anymore.) He will protect what he has. 

Jinwoo is happy in the present. And he will be as well, in the future, with his family that he has reclaimed. 

But he watches the hurt in your glimmering eyes (is he imagining that? They really seem to glitter) for a beat longer and Ashborn’s heart gives one more painful beat – did Jinwoo imagine that it was louder? – and something changes. Your eyebrows raise and you watch Jinwoo curiously before you let out a small smile that makes your eyes crinkle at the sides. Something has changed. It’s small, but Jinwoo knows that look.

Hope. He’s stayed long enough.

Hae-in is surprised when Jinwoo suddenly turns and pulls her along towards the building. Jinwoo doesn’t need to know anything about you – that stolen memory was more than enough. You aren’t his concern any longer. The other heart in his chest may say otherwise but he doesn’t care. 

Sung Jinwoo is happy where he is. He has no need for you and the danger he feels with your very existence to be in his life. 

Ashborn disagrees.

=O=O=O= 

Jinwoo should have known his peace wouldn’t last long. That eventually knowing you existed would lead to one challenge to another. 

Such as now.

Chairman Go introduces you with a kind smile, but it does nothing to calm the chill that goes up and down Jinwoo’s spine. He can’t bring himself to look at you, but his efforts may as well be in vain with how your eyes kept going back to him. Jinwoo was by no means vain, but he could understand that most people could feel the mana that escaped him as effortlessly as he could fight, and that surge of energy coming from him had people turning their heads to look. But he and his hearts knew that wasn’t the case in this instance. 

It was the eyes he saw in Ashborn’s memories. He didn’t want to put a name to it, as it felt like crossing a line he wouldn’t be able to come back from. But it was undeniable: it was the same look Hae-in gave him. And it was all wrong. He didn’t know who you were, and yet you looked at him like he could give you the whole world.

It shouldn’t be that way. He wasn’t who you thought he was. He didn’t know who you were. 

You say your name with a polite bow and greet the room of other S-Rank hunters. Jinwoo is stiff as a board, looking past you in a daze, but Ashborn’s heart may as well sing at the very sound of your voice. 

It could be a different person, you know, Jinwoo reasons. He prays, really. This was a mistake. And if it wasn’t, it would lead to more mistakes. You could have simply looked similar, a version of a person or being Ashborn had known in his original time. 

When Ashborn laughs, it’s more scathing than anything he could have said. Jinwoo felt pissed and embarrassed and defeated all at the same time.

Had you known them as I have, a different name or another body would not matter. Your soul would not have to look for them: it would find itself back home without fail. 

Jinwoo hated that answer. It was bad. This felt worse than whatever dungeon he was thrown in or walked into (even the Double Dungeon). It was going to be very, very bad for him and the future he was trying to protect. 

And he knew it the very moment he tried to teleport out of that room. Before his body could even leave, your hand encloses around the wrist of his suit, and that was enough to keep him in place. 

The other hunters around are surprised – you had moved quickly and silently, almost reminiscent of Hunter Sung’s speed (maybe even faster if you were able to catch up to him) – but because of your actions, Jinwoo has his guard up almost instantly. Not only because of the danger you brought into his life, but just for a split second, he saw it: the hand holding on to him had glowed and that light alone was strong enough to stop him.

To an extent, you were stronger than him. And he knew it was because of the heart running a mile a minute inside his chest. Ashborn was letting you have strength over him and Jinwoo was unnerved that it could overpower even him. 

You tug at his wrist, eyes on him again. He doesn’t want to look. He prays to a higher being, hell, he was desperate enough to pray to Ashborn – but right now Ashborn was the most untrustworthy higher being to pray to when it’s concerning you.

“Can we talk?” 

Your voice is soft, vulnerable. Very much unlike the confident voice he heard from earlier introducing themselves to the room of powerful beings. Jinwoo raises his head and looks around the room and the other hunters seemingly scatter almost immediately. However, Hae-in stays. 

“Jinwoo?”

He’s at a loss for what to say. He could say you were an acquaintance, but the lie felt so foreign on his lips that he can’t make it out. Before he can think of a possible answer, you let go of him and turn to Hae-in with a small smile and greet her with a bow. There’s a shift in your eyes, like a sort of clarity that overcomes you.

“Hello. I am… an old friend of Jinwoo’s. Would it be alright if I talk to him? It won’t take long, I swear it. I would just like to… catch up.”

An old friend. It was no lie, but definitely not the truth. Jinwoo could feel his chest constrict once more. It was hurting Ashborn that you had to make up such a lie.

Jinwoo hated this.

To his surprise (and horror), Hae-in gives him one final look before smiling at you and bowing. She tells him she’ll wait for him in the lobby for their sparring session. She leaves without another words and Jinwoo turns back to you. He makes the mistake of looking at your face.

Lovely. 

It’s that word again. The one that Ashborn’s heart whispers, and the one Jinwoo thinks as he sees your eyes, glimmer to them back in full force. In your eyes he sees the same amount of devotion he saw in Ashborn’s memories, but now there was a sense of longing. And it hurts. He could tell Ashborn was in pain, and the more Jinwoo looked at you, the more he felt it, too. He wanted to look away. 

This was a mistake. 

“How have you been?” Your voice is soft and sweet and feels so… familiar. (But Jinwoo does not know you.)

This was one giant mistake. He tells himself over and over. He does not know you. You are a stranger who believes you love him. 

He looks down to the ground, but even that is a temporary solution. He feels something warm against his cheek. Your fingertips barely graze at them and he looks up at you again only to feel his heart dropping (was that his? Or Ashborn’s? He couldn’t tell.) 

Warm tears carefully fall down your cheeks as you stare at him. Your fingers remain ghosting at his cheek. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” you manage a strangled laugh and Jinwoo can only clench his fists to keep Ashborn from trying to go to you. An arm’s distance – that was more than enough for the two of you. “I’m sorry for making you wait.” 

You smile a little more and your eyes crinkle at the sides like last time, and finally Jinwoo realizes what he sees in your expression this whole time. 

It was the look of someone who finally found home. 

He feels the heat in his cheeks grow as you move to cup them completely.

This was all wrong.

In the last second, he grabs at your wrist – a little too forcefully (if he was to be honest as well), and Ashborn’s heart is lit aflame with anger in his chest, but he doesn’t care. 

“I don’t know you, so please stop.” He tightens his grip a little more to make sure you’re listening. 

The smile on your face drops, and he knows that the tears that fall from your face are no longer ones of joy. He can’t breathe right, and he knows that the way his chest tightens is no longer Ashborn’s fondness for your presence but anger aimed at him.

“But you do, right?” You cling to the hand holding your wrist, eyes desperate, and Jinwoo hated it – hated how it made him guilty and how Ashborn’s anger kept rising to greater heights. He could feel his shadows scattering underneath him, claiming the room in darkness. But you don’t show a shred of fear, eyes solely on him. Begging. Glittering. “I know you.” 

Had you known them as I have, a different name or another body would not matter. Your soul would not have to look for them: it would find itself back home without fail.

“I would know you more than any-“

“STOP.” He roughly lets go of your wrist and takes a step back. He’s more than an arm’s distance away from you. “I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. So please stop.”

The tears continue to fall as you stare at him – your eyes are dull and Jinwoo chalks it up to the dim room covered with his shadows (it had to be because of his shadows. Nothing more). He turns and leaves without another word. You don’t try to follow him. 

He hears Ashborn tell him that had he known Jinwoo would treat you as such, he would have thought twice about picking him as a successor. 

Jinwoo agrees, he really should have picked better if this is what it takes to be one.

=O=O=O=O=

You’re across the street again, the next time you see him. It already had him on edge, knowing the ensuing problem, but what made things worse is that he was with his family and Hae-in at the moment – the latter joining them after his mother and father insisted that she come along. He was ready to teleport everyone to a different location and tell them he felt mana in the air that signaled a gate was about to open and he didn’t want them there in case of danger (if he was honest, your very presence sometimes made him feel like he was about to face an S Rank gate). 

But you don’t come closer. You just watch him, and for once, Jinwoo doesn’t feel the need to hide you. No, if anything, he felt like he needed to hide them – his family – from you. But not out of shame. No, that won’t be the right word. The betrayal he saw the first time would be close. 

What must they look like to you right now? What must he look like? 

His father and mother walk ahead of the group, holding hands and chatting amongst themselves. Jinah makes a joke that makes Hae-in laugh softly, their shoulders brushing for a moment as they walk. For once, your eyes aren’t solely on him. You meet his eyes, but they also soak in the scene around him and you take a step back. 

You’re hurt, that much he can tell. You bite your bottom lip and try to make yourself look away, but you can’t seem to. You gape at the scene as they enter the park and finally with one last glance at you, Jinwoo can tell what’s on your face. 

Envy. But not the kind that he thinks is greedy or dirty. 

Just a yearning. Knowing it’s something you don’t have, hoping that you can have it. 

But right now it’s his. The very thought makes him happy and proud, but the sight of your shattered face makes him want to hide them away, and tell you that you don’t have to be jealous. That you-

No. Jinwoo turns away, going back to the happy bubble of his family. Ashborn may have given him the power, but he isn’t there to meddle with his past life, especially not with someone so closely ingrained like you. Not with the things you were expecting.

You are a part of this world, so he will protect you, but that’s as far as it goes. Ashborn disagrees. 

=O=O=O=O=

He finds Hae-in talking next to you on a park bench. 

Jinwoo’s family called the picnic quits after the sun started to set and the wind picked up, so they started to pack their things. Jinah only noticed that Hae-in failed to come back from the restroom when everything was good. Given her status as an S Rank hunter, Jinwoo’s family figured she got held up by some fans, but Jinwoo knew better.

Ashborn knew better.

Quickly excusing himself, Jinwoo exchanges with the shadow assigned to Hae-in and in an instant, he’s standing behind a bench. 

Your backs are facing him and when the grass rustles with his footsteps, only Hae-in turns to look at him. You continue to stare at the sunset. Not knowing how your eyes looked after seeing them over and over again had him paranoid.

To his surprise and caution, Hae-in calls him over happily. He stands next to her, and looks to you, and even still, you don’t spare a glance at him. There’s a soft smile on your face, most likely the one you wore during your conversation with Hae-in, but she might not have noticed how they don’t reach your eyes. 

“I saw her sitting here alone so I thought she’d like some company.” Hae-in quietly says. Jinwoo manages a curt nod before tugging at her sleeve. He’s about to tell her it was time to go when she speaks again. “Why don’t you guys catch up? I’ll help the others pack up. Be right back!”

Before he knows it, Hae-in is gone and it’s just you two. Jinwoo’s hands are clammy with cold sweat. He spares a glance at you and your blank face looking at the horizon and with a strangling heartbeat from Ashborn, he relents. He sits down across from you.

It's silent. You don’t say anything and neither does he. But he has to. He knows that. He has to make things clear with you now or he’s bound to get into more trouble in the future. He just has to break it to you softly that he was-

“Ash-“

Jinwoo broke.

“That’s not my name.” He says it through gritted teeth, he doesn’t know if it’s the anger he suddenly feels spike up because of your insistence, or the adrenaline Ashborn just shot up through his veins. “My name is Sung Jinwoo. I am an S Rank Hunter from Korea.”

“But-“ You finally face him and try to reach out slowly, but Jinwoo moves to the very edge of the bench. The space is narrow as it is, but it felt impossibly large enough.

“I am not Ashborn.” He knows it’s true, because it is. So why does it hurt to say? Is it the way the glimmer in your eyes continues to slowly fade? “I don’t know how to prove it to you, but he’s gone.”

“But I can feel-“ He can see in your eyes that you want to move closer to him, but your fear that he’ll leave again is holding you back.

“No. You can feel his heart. He gave it to me, to be his successor. But he’s not here anymore. So I need you to stop. I am not Ashborn. I am Sung Jinwoo, so please stop acting like I’m-” 

“That, that can't be right, no-“ For once, you’re looking at everything but him, and normally he’d be glad, but it felt more like if you couldn’t see him, then what he was saying was just as intangible. 

“Please listen to me,” Jinwoo holds on to your shoulders, forcing your eyes back on him. He needed you to focus. He needed you to listen or you would never understand. “He’s not here. I am not him. Please stop trying to find him in me.”

You keep shaking your head, and in a last ditch effort, Jinwoo swallows hard. “I do not love you. I have someone I already love.”

There’s a pause, where you just look at him and he looks at you. For a split second, Jinwoo is aware of how close he is. He feels your warmth, the way your clothes rustle against his fingers, how your body breathes heavy with the gravity of your conversation. He blinks and for a second, he sees you in a hill of flowers looking happier than ever. And quietly, he hears Ashborn’s voice. 

You’re here.

He lets go of you, almost as forcefully as when he did your wrist the first time you met, and the spell is immediately broken. You blink and with a pause, scoot away from him, almost crumpling into yourself as your shoulders sag. You hug yourself, suddenly cold with realization. Jinwoo knows he was too harsh, but he assures himself that he needed to be. He almost stands up to leave. 

“Do you… remember? You promised me forever when I died.” Jinwoo wanted to correct you, that you still understood and listened to nothing, but that wasn’t quite it. It felt like you weren’t talking to him, your eyes were glazed over, like you’re reliving a memory. “I held on to your promise of forever. But now I… we can’t have that. Is it wrong that I find it so unfair?” 

You raise your eyes to him and for what felt like the hundredth time, Jinwoo couldn’t look at you. He didn’t want to put a name to the expression on your face. “I truly believed I would never find that again if it wasn’t with him. Ashborn… Jinwoo… will I find someone I can say I love again, too? Don’t I deserve that, too?”

Jinwoo pauses. He hated giving false hope. He tells himself that it’s what you needed. He knows it’s what you deserve. Can the monarchs pray? He hears Ashborn mutter things that are holier than anything he knows.

“I’m sure you will,” Jinwoo means it, but it truly tasted like poison. He couldn’t breathe. He wonders what Ashborn prayed for. “I wish you the best.”

There’s a pause between the both of you. Jinwoo hears his name called in the distance. He slowly stands up and he watches as you carefully lean back into the park bench, your face completely void of emotion, despite the tears softly slipping from your eyes. Your voice is small when you talk again.

“Can… he hear you? Even a little bit? I know you said that he’s gone, but I know a soul can sometimes cling to a heart.”

He hated that you were right about that, but you didn’t have to know how far that truth stretched. “Sometimes… I think.”

“Can you tell him that I lo- no… Tell him thank you. He was the only one who mourned for me. I remember that. And I’ll always remember. That’s all. Stay safe, Ash- no, Hunter Sung.”

Jinwoo gapes as you brush away the remnants of your tears and suddenly stand on shaky legs, slowly walking away. You stop for a short bit and turn to the sunset. “Guess I won’t be able to watch it again this time,” you quietly whisper. And then you go on your way.

He watches quietly as you pass by his family, coming to pick him up.

His parents greet you with waves, Jinah smiles brightly and bows and Jinwoo stares as Hae-in smiles and gives you a small pat on the shoulder. You gave them each small bows, your back to him. He already misses the lovely look in your glimmering eyes, if only to spare him the sight of you like this – he can’t bear to think what you look like right now. To them you may have been fine, but he knew it would have been different to him. 

Jinwoo’s family comes closer but he couldn’t help but watch as you walked and walked until you were a small speck in the distance. 

With all the people and monsters he killed, somehow, Jinwoo has never felt more like a horrible human being.

Ashborn agrees.

=O=O=O=O=O=O=

The next time he meets you, he almost couldn’t recognize you, and he thinks maybe this is how it would have been from the very start.

He would have met you first in that meeting with Chairman Go and the other hunters, maybe see you in passing a couple of times around the city or in the Hunter’s Association building, and then finally have a chance to work with you after weeks in this sudden appearance of an S Rank gate.

You’re different now, or was this how you really were? (A voice in his head tells him that they both know that this was not how you really were). 

Your eyes have lost the glimmer he has been so accustomed to, and even still they’re duller than when you first introduced yourself to the room of hunters. You sit on a closed crate holding extra weapons for the other hunters, legs up to your chest, hugging your weapon close to you. You seemed lost in thought, or lost in a dream. The other hunters could tell you weren’t in the mood for any conversation, no one daring to come towards you and left you alone, despite casting glances your way. 

Jinwoo should know better – he burned that bridge in that park bench by the sunset, but the voice inside of him said otherwise. 

She’s not gonna want me anywhere near her, you know. 

Ashborn doesn’t answer, but Jinwoo already knows: he’s asking him to come forward for his own peace of mind. But Jinwoo doubted himself, too. It didn’t sit well with him. He may not have known you long all but for your obsession that he was Ashborn, but he was still human enough to feel guilty for making you feel so horrible. Maybe a small apology would suffice.

Jinwoo takes one step forward, but before he can walk towards you, he sees someone come towards you in the corner of his eye.

Jinwoo is speechless as he watches Hae-in hesitate for a split second, gauging your reaction to her presence – but you don’t make a move to acknowledge her; not that you were ignoring her, but more so you were so lost in your head that you didn’t realize she was right there. She takes a seat in the crate beside you and from Jinwoo’s place a bit of a ways from you, she gives a small greeting that snaps you out of your trance. You blink, and then you offer a small smile and a nod of your head. The smile is empty and his chest hurts.

He had half a mind to leave you to your conversation - Hae-in might be better with comforting you than he could. But Ashborn urges otherwise.  

I’ve already hurt her enough, haven’t I?

Then you cannot go any lower. Speak to her. Before you enter the gate. I do not doubt she has lessened in skill, but her focus at the moment - I worry for her. 

You think she’s gonna focus better if I talk to her?

Please. She is hurt, yes, and to be quite frank I doubt she wishes to see us- you, again, after what transpired if not for this gate. But I believe seeing something familiar will ground her, if only for the time being. 

Jinwoo lets out a sigh. Again, he is reminded of how hard it is to have two hearts, two souls, and two different lives living in a single body - but he forces himself to push through. He’s survived through worse, hasn’t he? This should be simple enough. 

You do not have to pretend to be me.

Right. No need to pretend. Just… well, he’ll figure it out somehow. Somehow.

He walks towards you and Hae-in and again, Hae-in catches sight of him first. She smiles softly at him and nods, but you keep your eyes on her expression until he’s close enough, and then your stare falls to the ground. The three of you wait for someone to speak first but no one ends up talking. Jinwoo stares at you, and Hae-in’s eyes go from him to you interchangeably, wondering about the sudden silence. Finally, you speak. 

“I… seem to have made a mistake,” you start, and the statement may have made Hae-in confused, but it startled Jinwoo the most. It was a mistake for him to think he had control in any conversation he had with you, and he was already losing ground so early. “I… seem to have confused you with someone else, Hunter Sung.” 

Finally, you look up at Hae-in, who was almost as confused as Jinwoo was at this point, with a small smile. “Hae-in, I’m really sorry, but can I ask for another favor? I promise this is the last time - but can I talk to Jin- Hunter Sung alone, again? I swear to explain things to you later, if you’d like?”

Hae-in pauses before shaking her head and smiling. “Don’t worry about it. I can tell this is a very personal matter between the two of you. No need for favors. Talk to you later.”

She leaves quietly with a bow to the both of you. Finally, it’s just you and Jinwoo again, your eyes falling back to the ground as you dug your foot into the soil. Jinwoo only lets a beat pass between the both of you before he speaks before you can get a chance to. 

“Are… you okay?” it was a bit of a stupid question, if he was honest. But it was a start, wasn’t it? Surely, Ashborn would agree. Jinwoo waits for a reaction, but there’s nothing from Ashborn and it’s silent on your end. 

“Sorry. For… badgering you so much,” you say, foot digging harder. “When I saw you on that street, I thought you were the same as me.”

Jinwoo frowns. “The same?”

You sigh softly. “I died, and I was born again into this world. I didn’t remember much back then, only small things, but when I saw you, I-”

You suck in a breath, like it physically hurts you to relive your memories. “I remembered so many memories, so many moments with y- Ashborn. And when I saw your eyes and the way you looked at me like you recognized me, I thought it was- I thought you were him. I thought I found him again. I thought I could be with him again, and I just needed to help jog your memories.”

Jinwoo clenches his fist and it felt like Ashborn was doing the same to his chest.  A part of him - he prays that it’s Ashborn - wants to tell you the truth, that not all of him is him, but there is enough of your lover left. He holds himself back in time, just before Ashborn can take control of his sudden hesitation and speak for him. 

“I’m… sorry to disappoint you. Again, he gave me his heart as a successor to his powers, but that’s mostly it,” his throat is strangled, but you don’t seem to catch the difference. “As for why I seemed to know you - well, I saw a sort of memory of you two in a hill of flowers, but nothing else.”

At the mention of that, your eyes snap to him and Jinwoo is caught speechless. This is the second time you’ve been so close to him and all he can see is your eyes, shining. Now that he’s so close, he finally recognizes the ethereal look to them - it’s the same flash of divinity he saw in the eyes of Ashborn and the monarchs, and in essence, him as well. They were still as lovely as ever. They glow at him with recognition and he flinches involuntarily. 

Noticing his reaction immediately, you lean and scoot farther back on the crate, putting as much distance between the both of you. The moment your eyes left his, the shine was gone, and all that’s left is mortality - and dejection. 

“Ah. I see. I’m… happy that even in his heart, there is a memory of me that remains,” you laugh bitterly, but Jinwoo takes no offense. It was sad and heartbroken, but as Ashborn had said - it sounded like it had grounded you. 

It sounded like confirmation - like a goodbye. 

“Thank you for talking to me, Hunter Sung. I’m aware it must have been very uncomfortable for you, and yet you’re still here,” you finally get off the crate, keeping a firm distance between the two of you before bowing deeply. “I know I don’t have to worry, but I wish you and Hunter Cha all the best. Please stay safe and healthy inside and outside the gates.”

It was cruel and the misunderstanding might come to bite him in the ass later on, but he doesn’t bother correcting you. It was better not to give you any hope. 

“Stay safe as well.”

Please be safe, Beloved. 

The name caught Jinwoo off guard. Ashborn was a being that, although righteous, was still stained in blood from the battles he had been on. But his voice had been so soft and heartfelt that it was almost impossible to think he was such a creature. One that cared so much for a single being so passionately. He wonders if that was where his fondness for mortals stemmed from?

“Jinwoo?”

Jinwoo blinks at the sound of his name once more. He looks to his side and finds Hae-in looking at him curiously and he feels like he was hit by deja-vu; there’s a difference this time, however. He looks up and around him and finally finds you quite a bit off, talking to other hunters, most likely for the ensuing raid. 

Hae-in follows his gaze and lets out a small hum. “She’s really nice.”

Jinwoo gives her a sideway glance to see Hae-in looking at you with a small smile. “You guys seem to get along well.”

“Yes, I suppose so. I knew she was a good person the moment I met her.” Hae-in replies with a small laugh.

Jinwoo blinks at the answer. “How can you be so sure?”

“She smells like you, but different.” Jinwoo feels his stomach drop, but Hae-in mistakes the look on his face as bewilderment. “Wait, wait! I know that sounds weird, but let me explain. It’s subtle, but you smell pleasant. For her, strangely enough: it’s faint, but she smells nice all the time. It almost smells like-”

“Flowers?” It was just a guess, but Jinwoo already felt like he was going to throw up.

“Yes! How did you know?” Hae-in smiles at him brightly, her eyes shining. Jinwoo can’t help but think how they paled in comparison to yours and he feels impossibly twice as sick.

He tries not to think of the memory again, but Ashborn yearns for a hill surrounded by flowers. “Ah, well, I guess you can’t smell it like that, but she smells like flowers all the time because of a perfume she wears. I just guessed that’s what you can smell, too, just a bit different.”

“Oh I see! It’s really nice.”

Jinwoo nods numbly. Ashborn agrees. 

=O=O=O=O=

How did he let it get down to this? There’s so much blood. There was so much blood that he couldn’t even tell that there was a body underneath it. Was that even possible? Was there even a body to save?

“Hunter Sung, we have to find the boss or-”

“Igris!”

His trustworthy shadow leaps into action immediately, cutting down as many of the army as possible, and yet it never seems to end. But Jinwoo couldn’t care less at the moment. The body in his arms looks up at him, and he hated how dull they looked. They weren’t supposed to look like that. He has seen so many in his short time together - happiness and sadness and all rolled in one. It was all wrong. 

Iron deflects at an attack coming their way and Choi and Baek follow up with their own hits at the enemy, but Jinwoo doesn’t move. He takes out healing potion after healing potion, Beru at his side doing his best to heal the body in his arms.

The sky was all red, not helping Jinwoo’s anxiety  - it looked like the body he was holding had drenched the whole world in blood. Why did the S Rank gate have to suddenly be a red gate? He’s never even heard of that - so why did it have to happen now?

The eyes are growing duller. Lovely, lovely. They were always lovely, even when he had made them anything but happy. Even when he stole so much. They’re not supposed to be like this.

Hae-in can’t stop crying. She does her best to support Jinwoo and the body in his arms as much as possible, shifting from attacking incoming enemies with so much ferocity to looking back at the duo behind her in insurmountable worry.

How can she stop crying when the body took the hit for her? She swings again. Jinwoo gives you another bottle of healing potion. He hates that it looks like your blood. 

Ashborn hasn’t said a single thing. 

=O=O=O=O=O=O=

Jinwoo all but speeds down the hospital corridors. He’s spent almost every waking minute of the past two weeks either trying to get a hold of your condition or wasting himself away in a dungeon, trying to distract himself until the next time he hears from you. 

Beru had successfully stabilized your condition until the gate was closed. He left you in Hae-in’s arms and hunted down the boss so quickly it terrified all the other hunters, but he was too desperate. If he had been just a little late, if he had just been a second off, well…

Since the incident, Ashborn had gone completely quiet. He failed to share any of his thoughts or feelings, and the beat of his heart was synchronized with Jinwoo’s - but Jinwoo could understand the latter as his own was beating with anxiety for every waking minute. 

But eventually, as he left another dungeon he pulverized, his phone rang. 

“She’s awake.”

He would have shadow exchanged to her room right then and there if the hospital wasn’t surrounded by a barrier to keep out mana from leaking in respect to those stuck in eternal slumber. Jinwoo rushes to your room and spots a couple of gossiping nurses on the way. He didn’t quite mean to listen to their conversation, but without Ashborn to fill the silence, it had made itself in quite easily.

“Yeah, it was really odd. Or maybe it’s a common thing with hunters?”

“Not that I’ve heard of? Or maybe they get hit there a lot, since it takes up a lot of space and it’s a blind spot?”

Jinwoo passes by them and catches on to their conversation and he feels his hearts drop.

“You think? The scar was pretty huge, even bigger than the one we had to treat. What are the chances you get hit in the same spot again? It’s a miracle she survived.” 

Jinwoo’s walking slows and slows until he goes into a full stop. The nurses leave and he’s alone in the corridor. A wound to the back that was almost impossible to live from.

Surely… not…?

“The same… spot…” 

That can’t be right. No. Please, no.

Jinwoo’s chest felt like it was on fire. He clutches it again, trying to calm a panicked heart and an angered one. His breathing grows ragged and he chokes out a sob. His sight blackens and suddenly he sees another red sky. 

The sky is lit aglow with flames and a red sun setting. Dragons and shadow soldiers fight as far as the eye can see. And yet, for all the carnage Jinwoo could see, he couldn’t hear any of the battle cries. 

 Ashborn?

Jinwoo looks down and his heart jumps to his throat almost immediately. There’s so much blood again, even with his hands enclosed in dark armor they were sticky with golden blood. In his arms rest you, in all your royal glory. He holds you closer to him, body leaning on him, and even with the armor he can feel how the flesh of your back gives way. Your eyes are dull.

 He hates it so. 

Are you… still there?

Before Ashborn could respond, Jinwoo’s vision clears and he’s back in the hospital corridor. He finds himself kneeling at the ground. His senses have mostly cleared, but something is ever so slightly wrong. He steadies himself on the wall and pushes himself up. And when he meets his eyes on the window glass, they glow a terrifying purple. He hears Ashborn’s voice, as thunderous as when he commands his army.

Again. I almost lost her again.

Jinwoo all but sprints to reach your bedroom. Choi and Baek are outside your room, conversing among themselves. Even in a hospital that blocked out mana, they stop short when they feel Jinwoo’s presence as he draws closer. They’re more than aware that he had been waiting for you to awaken, but something didn’t sit right with them seeing the Hunter look so angry.

“Hunter Sung, what are you-”

“Move.”

The guild masters feel a chill go down their spine, almost reminiscent of their time in the Jeju Island raid, even if they knew that Jinwoo had no reason to hurt them. They look at each other, having a silent agreement that surely Jinwoo - the man who had done everything he could to ensure your survival - would not do anything to harm you. They stand aside, and with a clear path to your room, he enters.

Jinwoo- Ashborn- The two powerful beings tied to your existence immediately breathe out a sigh of relief at the very sight of you, most of their anger dissipating but not completely. You’re sitting up, not leaning on the head board, looking out the window. Jinwoo is about to call out your name when he notices the loose way you wear your hospital gown. Peeking out from your thin clothing are bandages lightly soaked in pink.

The same spot.

Ashborn’s anger returns, more controlled but nonetheless fearsome. Jinwoo calls out to you. 

At the sound of his voice, you immediately turn to him and offer a small smile. For once, Jinwoo is not uncomfortable at the glimmer of your eyes. But then he remembers a body bathed in red and he takes in Ashborn’s anger for his own. Your smile drops when he fails to respond and  Jinwoo remains passive. The silence seems to eat at you.

“Is Hae-in alri-”

“What were you thinking?” Jinwoo’s voice is eerily calm, but it’s only because his own voice has already failed him. Ashborn had taken control the moment Jinwoo hesitated.

“What are you-” you flinch at the tone of voice, but despite how their hearts are strangled by guilt, Jinwoo and Ashborn push through. However, your eyebrows suddenly raise and your eyes seem to glimmer ever so softly. “Wait. Why do you sound like-”

“Stop.” Jinwoo cursed. He needed to take control before you realized Ashborn was there with him. “Don’t change the subject.”

You flinch again and tug at your blankets. You try to move away from him, but your wounds seem to act up. Jinwoo stops himself from coming to aid you - he just needed to get this out his chest and then he’ll help. A voice inside him warns him: Not too much.

“Didn’t you think of the consequences of what you did? What could have happened?”

Jinwoo watches as you carefully tug at the sheets, head lowered. “…Hae-in is a lovely person to me. Everyone, actually. She has people who love her a lot, too, but-”

Tell him I say thank you.

When you finally raise your eyes to meet his’, Jinwoo couldn’t breathe, strangled by your stare alone. A small frozen smile and the dullest eyes Jinwoo had ever seen on you, even more than when you were covered in so much red. “-I don’t want you to lose someone like that.”

Jinwoo doesn’t say anything, but it wouldn’t have mattered. You looked like you were seeing something beyond him. Your smile drops and you lower yourself back into the bed, turning your back to him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make y- anyone worry. But… if it’s okay with you, can you tell him I’m sorry, too? Thank you. I’d… like to get some rest.”

He was the only one who mourned for me.

Jinwoo turns around, his head so loud it was painful. It had been a while since he had voices in his head that were solely his. He didn’t know what to think - which to focus on, which to start and end and which to push away.

He is beyond grateful that Hae-in is alive, but the rest of him is being rotten by guilt. He couldn’t even find an outlet through anger because Ashborn had gone quiet. Jinwoo calls out to him, if only to hear a different voice in his head. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft, almost mortal. Not the same softness as when he called you his lover, almost the opposite of it.

Those eyes. I only saw them the last I held her. They are the same, and yet – why do they not feel the same? I cannot explain why, but I do not like seeing them on her almost more than the ones I have seen before.

Jinwoo couldn’t tell him the answer, but he would hear his thoughts regardless. 

Of course Ashborn had not seen that look on you. It was the look of someone who had nothing left to lose, of someone ready to die. Did you have that look as you took the hit for Hae-in? Did you see the enemy coming for her and didn’t think twice?

That look. That was his fault. 

The door softly clicked behind him. The other guild masters stood a ways off from the room, watching him curiously and cautiously just in case he was still on edge. He says nothing, only bowing his head to them and walking away. 

He quietly asks for Ashborn’s help. Of wanting to make amends. You deserve that and much more. 

Of course, Jinwoo starts. I can’t exactly pull off what you and her are expecting, okay? Let’s get that out of the way. I… I’m not ready… I can’t love her the way you do. I don’t even know her at all. 

A friend, then. Ashborn replies softly. May you be a friend?

Jinwoo pauses, and Ashborn takes his silence as a sign to keep going. I am aware that you do not hold the same feelings for her as I do, as you do not know her and your own heart is in turmoil if it belongs to that other woman. It was wrong of me to push my emotions on to you, and I’m sure the same is true for her. I assure you that we both regret it so. It seems that in death, we have found ourselves stuck in time and have yet to accept that the world has moved on without us. With that being said- 

Jinwoo braces himself for what Ashborn was about to say. It felt like whatever he was going to ask of him, the weight of it could crush him. I would like to ask you to be a friend to her, at the very least. I can see that this world has not treated her as kindly as I would have liked or as she deserves. So if it’s the slightest bit acceptable to you, I would urge you to be kinder. However if this goes against your wishes once more, then I will not push the matter. You have already done what you could do to save her life, and I am endlessly grateful. This is simply one more selfish request. 

A friend, huh? It sounded like something small and easy, but as he thought, the responsibility it posed would be rather big. Ashborn admitted himself that you and the heart inside him weren’t simple things to underestimate, but he thinks of dull eyes that have lost all shine and his own heart is set in stone.

And if she says no?

Then it is no, Ashborn replies quickly, and then his voice goes softer. You had told me what those eyes meant. I simply do not want her to lose all hope in a universe that gave her a second chance at a new beginning. I do not want her to carry on living thinking life is so empty. 

Ashborn waits with something akin to bated breath and almost sighs in relief when Jinwoo agrees.

=O=O=O=O=

“I want to start over,” Jinwoo bites at the inside of his cheek and rubs the back of his neck. 

You stare at the edge of your bed, but you were clearly listening to him, as you fiddled again with the sheets of your bed. “What?”

Jinwoo braces himself and breathes in to steady himself. “I want to start over… if that’s okay with you.” 

There’s a pause between the two of you before you manage a strangled laugh. “What do you mean by start… over? Surely you don’t mean like-”

“Oh, uh, not like… that.” He heard how your voice picked up and immediately he coughed. Jinwoo sees you breathe out - and he’s unsure whether out of dejection or to steady yourself as well (he hopes it’s the latter so as not to make things too awkward after what he’s about to do). He can’t see your eyes quite yet - you were making sure not to look at him. He finally grumbles out a sigh “Wait, let me start from the beginning.”

“I’m sorry for what I said before, from that time you still thought I was Ashborn to me getting angry at you for putting your life on the line. I could have said things better, but I let my anger get the best of me both times. So, I’m sorry.” Jinwoo bows his head low and he sees you move on the bed to try and get him to stand up straight, however the wound on your back kicks in. 

He straightens up and tries to help you, but you flinch and hold up a hand to stop him from coming any closer - and Jinwoo is unsure if you wanted to be strong and handle it yourself or you didn’t want him anywhere closer to you. You’re both at a stand still, and finally Jinwoo moves away. He breathes out a sigh before trying to push through once more - he made Ashborn a promise, but above all else he really wanted to want this to happen.

“A-anyway, going back to what I was saying. I never got the chance to know you as, you know, you. And I suppose you never got to know me, either. So I thought, I would like to start over. I want to get to know you, too.”

There’s another pause as Jinwoo waits for your reply. You seem to be lost in thought as you catered to your wound. Eventually, you speak softly. “Why?”

“What?” You weren’t even that close yet and Jinwoo already knew he was gonna have to work harder to keep up with you and the way you took hold of a conversation so easily. 

“We both know I haven’t been the best person to you - the first time we talked to each other I cried in front of you because I thought you were my lover reincarnated.” You laugh bitterly again, maybe at the memory or maybe because of the idea of Ashborn. “I’m not sure about this… I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you again….”

Jinwoo doesn’t say anything and waits, but Ashborn stays quiet. He supposes his second heart was keeping true to his word - he was leaving this conversation up to him and you. But Jinwoo already knew what he was getting himself into when he entered your room. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he wasn’t going to be a push over either. 

“Why don’t we give it a try, then? You said that you see me differently whenever you look at me, right? Because you remember Ashborn rather than seeing me.”

“Yes…?”

“Try focusing then. You already know I’m not him.” Jinwoo’s voice is soft, almost like he was trying to make sure the rest of the world doesn’t hear. And that’s what he wanted right now. His shadows overtake the whole room until it’s just you two. He tests the waters by sitting at the foot of your bed and you flinch. “Focus. Breathe. The way he moves, the way he speaks. It’s not me. His voice, the way he looks. It is not mine.”

Sung Jinwoo wasn’t one to give up easily. Ashborn had given him his heart, it was his job to see things through. And if it didn’t work out - then he can say he did his best to the very end. 

He holds out his hand and you stare at it hard. Your eyes are a whirlpool, shifting with a sort of shine and turmoil - Jinwoo was watching the two sides of you fight to take control in real time. He wonders if that’s how he looks whenever Ashborn takes control from other people’s perspective. He waits for a second more before he breaks the silence. 

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Sung Jinwoo.” 

At the sound of his voice, your eyes snap up to him and he falters. It’s a whirlpool of glitter that is all encompassing. It’s lovely, yes, but it’s almost swallowing the darkness that surrounds you both. He should leave, this didn’t bode well for him, this was a mistake, he-

But he wanted to believe in you. You were a good person. You wouldn’t let this take over you, right?

He steadies himself and holds out his hand to you again. “You must not have heard me. My name is Sung Jinwoo. I am an S Rank Hunter from South Korea and the Guild Master of the Ahjin Guild. I heard that the Hunter’s Association had recruited an S Rank healer. That must be you, correct? May I have your name?” 

You blink at his words, something overcoming in your head and Jinwoo watches as the realization hits you. Ashborn had said that the two of you had simply had a hard time understanding that you were no longer living in your past, so shouldn’t Jinwoo remind you of the present?

Jinwoo watches as you squeeze your eyes shut, and when that isn’t enough you press the heels of your palms to your closed eyes and crumple into yourself. His hand falls. 

Did I fail? He hears nothing.

His shadows return underneath him and he stands up to leave, but before he can completely go, he hears you mutter something softly. 

“Come again?”

When you raise your head, they continue to glimmer and Jinwoo has half a mind to leave you right then and there, but he realizes that they only shine with small tears as you smile. Your eyes shine with mortality. 

You say your name louder as you clumsily hold out your hand to him. He laughs, shaking his head and takes your hand in his and gives it a firm squeeze and a shake. 

Jinwoo likes the sound of your name and the way he can hear the smile in it. And although Ashborn can’t remember what it was in the past, he agrees. The present is beautiful.

=O=O=O=O=O=

Although he knew you and Hae-in were close, he had underestimated how close you two had gotten in such a short amount of time.

“Hae-in? What… are you doing here?” Jinwoo blinks. Hae-in blushes in response, as shy as she always was, but you give off a small smile in response to both of them. She all but clings to your arm at the sudden attention on her by her new friend and the object of her affections.  

“I told Hae-in that I wanted to make amends with you, as she knew we weren’t in the best of… situations right now, despite knowing each other before,” you clear your throat, trying to come up with something believable for Hae-in. “And I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable too much during our outing, so Hae-in offered to hang out with the both of us.

Jinwoo wasn’t one to be uncomfortable, but there may be some truth to your words. He was just hoping to have a walk with you around the city (he thought about the park but maybe you weren’t ready for those kinds of memories), maybe get some food on the way, and have small talk. It was Ashborn’s ideas, of course. 

What should we even do? 

I wish to say that as a monarch, I have no concept of “friends”, but if you wish to know more about her that I have observed in our short time here in the present, then I can suggest some things.

Let’s hear it then.

Spending time with another is a given, yes?

Yeah, that’s pretty much understood, Jinwoo almost rolled his eyes, instead he settled for a groan. He should’ve known Ashborn had no idea of things like this, but he’ll bite. What else?

Sweets. I have noticed while she spent her time healing that she enjoyed those treats you call sweets. They seem to make mortals happy, and it seems to be the same for her. 

Okay, treats. That’s a good start. What else you got?

To his surprise, Ashborn hesitates. Jinwoo almost calls out to him when he suddenly speaks again.

Stories. Tell her stories.

Stories? What kind?

Yes, stories. Of how you spent your day, no matter how mundane. Of your battles with the other monarchs, if you so choose, as she will understand more than anyone.  And then Ashborn hesitates. Of your family. Of things that make you happy. 

Jinwoo nods slowly before he exhales softly. That sounds like things meant for a date than things you do with friends, though.

What is a “date”?

Okay, so maybe having Hae-in along would lessen the date aspect of this hang out, especially now that you two weren’t alone. 

He’s snapped out of his thoughts when you suddenly pull on his arm. He freezes when you intertwine his and your arm on one side and slightly relaxes when he sees you have Hae-in on the other. 

“Alright then,” you grin brightly and Jinwoo could have sworn the whole world had just lit up around him. By the look on Hae-in’s face, she was thinking the same thing. Jinwoo is reminded of a woman in royal attire in a field of flowers and he hears Ashborn laugh once before he pushes the thought away.  He is in the present. You are in the present. There was no need for that right now. However he can’t help but think - so this is what Ashborn has always seen? If it was, then it was lovely. “So, where are we headed off to?”

“Huh? Weren’t you the one who planned this trip?” Hae-in looks at you puzzled. 

“Nah,” you wave her comment off. “He just told me we should start by trying to hang out.”

Hae-in’s blush returns at full force. “Wait! So that means I shouldn’t even be here!”

“Hmm? Why not?” Now you turn to Jinwoo, puzzled as well. “I thought it would be fine with Hunter Sung since you guys are-” 

“Close, right.” Jinwoo knew what you were going to say and cut in. 

He didn’t want to lie to you like this. Gods, how was he going to explain this to Hae-in when the time came? How was he going to explain this to you when the time came? He planned on telling you later on - that he had only started considering courting her when you had arrived - but he wanted to do that when you had adjusted better to your new life, but for now he had to let you believe that they were together. It wasn’t that hard, really. Hae-in sometimes acted too comfortably around him.  

Hae-in blushes again at his words. You smile softly at her expression and then your eyes slowly gloss over. Jinwoo clears his throat. 

“Anyways, I’m the one who planned this whole excursion, so let’s get to it then.” You break out of your thoughts at his words. He nods to you, letting you know that he was right there beside you to help you, and you smile warmly at him. The very very sight of it makes him look away. 

Ashborn’s heart beats ever so slightly faster. But a small voice at the back of his head whispers to him that if it really were Ashborn, then it wouldn’t settle for beating so softly. 

“What’s on our agenda, then?” You smile and pull them forward, walking without a direction at the moment, just so you were moving. 

“I was hoping we could go to a cafe? Somewhere with good sweets.” Your head turns to him at record speed and Jinwoo was worried for a second that he’d see glittering eyes, but instead he finds normal but nonetheless lovely human eyes glimmering with childlike wonder at the prospect of treats. He huffs out a laugh, feeling heat crawl up his face. What the hell was getting to him?

“Oh! If it’s a cafe we’re looking for, I know a really good place! They sell the best cheesecakes around, I know you’ll love it. Just let me check how far away it is from here.” Hae-in untangles your arms and excitedly heads over to a street map. 

Jinwoo turns to you. “Are… you feeling alright?”

You breathe in deeply before nodding. “Yeah, yeah. I’m… I’m doing fine, I think.”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you breathe in again and straighten your posture. When you turn to him, you give him that same grin that almost forces Jinwoo to look away, and yet he can’t. He can’t seem to stop staring. Only one word comes to mind. “Thank you for looking out for me, Hunter Sung.” 

“No problem.” Jinwoo didn’t really know what possessed him to do it. Maybe it was habit from having Jinah around him all the time and it was reflex at that point, but he raises his free hand and pats your head. “And you can just call me Jinwoo.”

You stare at him for a beat and then untangle your arms before raising your hand up to his face. For just a split second, he sees the monarch version of you, smiling so lovingly at him (at Ashborn) as you cup his cheek, and then he blinks and he’s back at the meeting room in the Hunter’s Association as you cry when you meet for the first time, ready to hold his face in your hand. 

He’s about to move back and put as much distance again between the two of you, maybe even call the whole day off, but he makes the mistake(?) of glancing at Hae-in’s direction. It didn’t mean anything to him, truly, it was mostly concern that things would all go to hell right this very moment if she saw this scene. 

He thinks you saw his eyes move over to her, because in the next instance, your hand goes up to his forehead and you tap on it multiple times ever so lightly. 

“You don’t have to force yourself to be so… affectionate towards me if you don’t want to,” you smile at him warmly. 

He blinks and steps back, almost just a hair’s breadth away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You tilt your head to the side, still the same smile, but for a flash Jinwoo saw your eyes glitter. “Your hand was shaking. He used to be nervous around me because he felt like he could crush me like an ant at a touch. But I can understand why you’d be nervous with me. So don’t push yourself too hard. I already appreciate so much of what you’re doing for me. That’s more than enough.”

He waits for you to do something else, for your past self to take hold, but instead you just leave him be and join Hae-in by the map. You guys chat for a bit as she tells you about the cafe. Jinwoo breathes in, getting his thoughts in order. 

So far, for him, he thought it was mostly going nicely. Although it was still too early to say, he liked having you as a friend, your presence soothing, especially now that he could converse with you without having to fear for his future most of the time. He found you rather refreshing in a sense, like-

My light. She was my light. 

Jinwoo blinks in surprise again. It always caught him off guard whenever Ashborn spoke of you. 

The light is dangerous for the darkness, isn’t it? Jinwoo jokes to ease his nerves, huffing out a laugh.

For the darkness, yes. However, you and I do not deal in the dark, we deal with shadows - and shadows are always strengthened by the light. 

“Jinwoo.”

When he looks up, Jinwoo expects deja-vu to kick in again and find Hae-in calling for him. Instead, you stand alone by the map, motioning for him to come closer. He walks over without a moment of hesitation. 

“Where’s Hae-in?” he cringes, realizing a little too late what that might have sounded like - a man looking for their significant other - but it was too late to take back now. He hopes that it didn’t come off that way, but by the way your smile has a hard time reaching your eyes, it absolutely came off that way. 

“She saw you were thinking really deeply about something so she said she’d go ahead and make sure we had a spot for ourselves,” you cough lightly before turning to the map. “I don’t blame her for being excited to go to that cafe, though.”

Were the sweets that good? “What do you mean?”

“Oh, it’s that cafe you guys entered when I first saw you, remember? I’m surprised Hae-in picked it. It must be special for the both of you. I hope I'm not intruding on a place that means so much to you guys,” you walk away from the map with a pep in your step in the direction of the cafe. Jinwoo doesn’t know if you’re just trying to look okay or you’ve truly accepted it and Jinwoo wasn’t sure which was worse. 

One thing’s for sure though: he should pick a different cafe. 

=O=O=O=O=O=

He should’ve told you sooner. That was his mistake. He should have told you sooner. 

Chairman Go had noticed the sudden closeness of your little friend group, how you all seemed to "get along so well”; his words, definitely not Jinwoo’s. In Jinwoo’s opinion, you all just seemed to work well in the sense that each one was familiar with one another to an extent: he was already friends with Hae-in, you and Hae-in had hit it off rather quickly, and you and Jinwoo were, well, acquainted in more ways than one. Jinwoo’s surprised that most of his time outside dungeons, his guild and his family is now spent on the two of you. It was hard to catch one without at least another.

Even for other hunters who have seen you work together in the rare chances of a sudden dungeon break while you’re hanging out, they remark how precise and coordinated you seemed to be, like a well-practiced performance - Jinwoo leading the attack, Hae-in with back up and you for support and healing for the both of them. So, for Chairman Go, wasn’t it only right for him to ask the three of you to work as a strike squad in case of emergencies? You all could reach each other in record time, Jinwoo using Shadow Exchange to get to you quickly and lending Kaisel to Hae-in for travel (he tells himself that he merely prefers reaching you first since you can’t protect yourself as well as Hae-in could; Ashborn says it is to make sure another disaster does not happen).

And this is where he found all three of you now - just taking a short break before confronting the boss. You and Hae-in had thought of taking a survey around the dungeon just in case, but Jinwoo offered to use his soldiers to do it instead so you guys could wait for the mining team to finish cleaning up. He decided to take a short nap, but really he just closed his eyes and wanted to leave you both to your own devices for a while.

He should have realized it was a mistake. Your random conversations slowed to a stop and when it didn’t pick up again for a second too long, it suddenly took a more serious turn. Maybe you had been on edge to start this conversation from the beginning, because it sounded like you were careful about the words you were going to use, choosing which to say.

“Hae-in, whatever happens, please take care. And take care of Jinwoo for me, too, okay?” you take a short stuttering breath that goes unnoticed by your new friend and Jinwoo hears the smile in your voice. It’s soft but also sad and he wonders if you see a grassy hill again. “Although me and Jinwoo's relationship wasn’t… quite good, I still wish you and him all the best.”

“I don't know what’s going on, but of course. Please take care as well. I will forever be thankful for what you did for me, but please - no more of what happened. And of course I'll take care of Jinwoo, too. I take care of my friends.”

Jinwoo inhales sharply. Fu-

Your voice lowers to a whisper. “Friends…?”

“Is there something wrong?” 

“You’re… not dating yet?” Jinwoo hears it. There's an unmistakable flash of hope in your voice - he doesn’t have to see to know that a familiar glimmer in your eyes comes back at full force and it sends his hearts thumping. He opens his eyes ever so slightly, peeking over his bangs to see you and watches as you squeeze your eyes shut and softly shake your head from side to side. When you open them again, the glimmer is mostly gone, and all that's left is a sad sort of acceptance and resignation that grips at his chest. “He's an idiot for not asking you out, then. He’s wasting time.”

“Huh? What do you mean by wasting time?” Hae-in blinks at you, but there's a soft blush on her face, Jinwoo is unsure if it’s because she found a kindred spirit in you or it’s the direction your conversation had gone.

“Oh, I just think that the longer someone hesitates, you could have spent all that time together…” there’s a far-away look in your eyes. Lost in a lonely dream. You smile sadly, picking up pebbles and rocks absentmindedly. Jinwoo wonders if you’re tugging at flowers in your imagination.

“Woah, I thought you said you’ve never been in a relationship before,” Hae-in laughs, leaning into you and you bump shoulders. “But you sound so mature about these things!”

“Ah, did I say that? Well, I was sort of in one a long time ago,” you answer softly. “If I could have talked to myself before, I would have said - take care of what you have right now.”

But you did, Ashborn whispers. You cared for it so much it clung to you and I in death. You have done more than care for it-

“-Your love is so strong it seeps into other people.” Jinwoo freezes, suddenly realizing that he had said his thoughts out loud.

Even though he had only mumbled it, the sudden silence is more than enough to let him know that both of you heard. The silence is deafening as he looks up to see you and Hae-in staring at him. While Hae-in gapes at him, your face remains passive, reading him.

“H-how much did you hear…?” Hae-in tentatively asks.

Jinwoo tries to hide the embarrassment and panic he was feeling behind a tired exterior, pretending he had been unceremoniously woken up from his nap because of your conversation. “Just the last part, I guess?”

Hae-in is frozen stiff anyway, a smile stuck on her face. She suddenly gets up. “I- I think I’ll go take a look around the area after all, haha, right, yes, be right back everyone!”

Before you or Jinwoo could say anything, she walked away as quickly as possible. You don’t make a move to stop her or say anything to reassure her, eyes remaining solely on Jinwoo. He squirms under your gaze and when he goes to meet them, they glitter ever so slightly.

But you and Jinwoo have passed the point where he felt like running away. This conversation was a long time coming, and it was his fault for not initiating it in the first place.

“I was planning on telling you, I swear it,” he starts softly. He straightens his posture and meets you head on. “I wanted you to just-“

“I’m not mad.” Jinwoo blinks, and you give him a closed eye smile. When you open them again, the glitter is all gone. You huff out a laugh when you see his expression. “I don’t blame you for having to act like that, considering how I badgered you the first time we met. It must have been really confusing and annoying.”

Jinwoo was about to sigh in relief but then you softly frown. “I don’t agree with the way you’ve been treating Hae-in, however. I hope you’re not leading her on.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. “I’m… I’m still thinking.”

You raise an eyebrow and tilt your head to the side. “About?”

“If I should court her.” He breathes out deeply.

It was true that he was thinking about it. Hae-in was beautiful and strong willed, but also shy and kind hearted to whoever was around her, both acquaintances and strangers, as you have said in the hospital. She was a wonderful friend and someone you could trust to have your back in a dungeon. Truly, she was an ideal partner to have.

And yet… and yet… something kept holding him back. And to his discomfort and confusion, it wasn’t Ashborn’s will.

“I haven’t sorted out my feelings for her yet. I don’t want to break her heart if I can’t meet her feelings halfway. She doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment,” Jinwoo says instead.

He waits for you to hound him for an acceptable answer, but instead you just nod your head slowly. “Okay, then.”

Jinwoo nods. One responsibility after another. What he said wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth either. He didn’t like lying to you like this, not after you just forgave him for lying that he and Hae-in were a couple, but this was a harder one to explain.

He didn’t want to admit it, but a voice deep inside him knew. How can he explain that things had changed and was taking a nosedive really quickly?

“By the way,” Jinwoo turns to you and his eyebrows raise to find you bashful. There’s no glitter in your eyes, which only makes him feel warmer at the thought, but he tries to brush the thought away. “About what you said earlier…What did you mean by “Your love is so strong it seeps into other people”?”

The color almost drains from Jinwoo’s face completely – he hoped you had already forgotten about that. He wants to say those were Ashborn’s thoughts, but he couldn’t lie to himself either when it came to this.

There was nothing wrong with what he said, there was nothing for him to take back. After all, your love truly did come out of you in waves. It was in the way you tried to care for people as much as you could, even when sometimes you hesitated from anxiety. It was in the way you laughed and joked with others to ease the tension even if sometimes it made you feel awkward to be the center of attention. It was in the way you tried to remind others that life was enjoyable with a little kindness along the way.

I do not want her to carry on living thinking life is so empty, that’s what Ashborn said, and Jinwoo understood why. Someone who wanted others to see the world in such a beautiful way shouldn’t have to think of it so lonely.

“Because,” Jinwoo starts. He watches the soft look on your face and all he can think about is it’s only you and him. There is no you from the past and no Ashborn. Just him and you.

He hears footsteps coming and the spell is broken. He swallows as Hae-in comes into view from the corner of his eye. Jinwoo doesn’t look away. “It’s the way you heal people. I simply mean that I can tell you love others by the way you heal people.”

Your eyebrows raise, waiting for him to crack a smile and tell you it was just a joke. But when he doesn’t, you smile, looking away. Your eyes don’t gloss over. They don’t shimmer with divinity. You rub the back of your neck, bashful to hear his compliment. Hae-in apparently heard his comment and excitedly agreed, clinging to you once more.

Jinwoo didn’t need a voice to tell him anything as he watched you laugh. He thinks of a woman in a hill of flowers wearing a simple dress that seems to make her even lovelier and beside her, Jinwoo sees himself. He can’t hear their conversation, and yet they smile like the world could never hurt them.

It’s a blissful feeling, is it not?

Jinwoo knew exactly why he couldn’t make a decision. Glittering eyes and a soft smile have made sure of that.

You wanted this from the very beginning, didn’t you? Jinwoo asks bitterly, but there’s no real bite to his words.

I will not say that I did not hope for it, the monarch replies. But this is a development that I find more than desirable. For me, you are seeing her the way I do, and that pleases me so.

He thinks of glittering eyes and almost lost himself in a dream of his own but then he thinks of your soft frown, and the subtle hurt behind them.

“I just hope that when you finally get your feelings in order, you haven’t made her wait too long.”

Why did this have to be so difficult? Ashborn laughs bitterly, but he agrees.

=O=O=O=O=O=

The end comes to him in the form of a message from your strike squad group chat.

“Jinwoo, can you spare some time?” Jinwoo felt a shiver go down his spine. Why did he suddenly feel so nervous over a small message from you? It felt like such a drastic change from the previous days. He found himself looking forward to you messaging him to hang out or to hire the Ahjin Guild to handle a dungeon with you.

But this felt different.  

“Where are you right now?” Jinwoo’s already trying to look through his shadows to find you. He finds one bathed in a familiar warmth and he grabs hold of it.

“Café. Hae-in is here with me.”

Within the next second, he’s beside your usual table in the café. He finds you sitting in your usual corner by the window, nursing a drink that has obviously been there for a while now. For once, Hae-in sits across from you, on Jinwoo's bench. She usually sat beside you to give Jinwoo some space and to just be close to you, but now there was no chatter shared between the two of you. Jinwoo found it unnervingly quiet. He watches your far away expression as he sits next to you and from his peripheral he sees Hae-in flinch.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” You’re knocked out of your thoughts, but you don’t answer fast enough, still in a bit of a daze. Jinwoo puts a hand over your head, trying to get your attention and finally Hae-in speaks.

“She’s leaving,” she says, a bit too bitterly for Ashborn and Jinwoo’s taste. However, when he turns to her with a frown, his anger subsides ever so slightly when he sees the unshed tears at the corner of her eyes. Ah, yes, of course she won’t be taking this lightly, but for now the most important thing is-

“Wait, what do you mean you’re leaving?” Jinwoo felt impossibly numb. He didn’t even have time to process what he was feeling and you were-?

“The Hunter’s Association of each country is holding a collaboration – a sort of exchange program for a year. Each one sends a few of their hunters to other countries to work as a representative, and our country receives reps from the neighboring countries as well. It’s to strengthen bonds in the case of another S Rank dungeon break, among other things,” your voice is monotone as you explain to Jinwoo slowly, as if you’re repeating the message verbatim, like you’ve memorized it a hundred times. “They thought I should-”

“Don’t agree, then.” Jinwoo’s voice is cold and it snaps you and Hae-in out of your separate thoughts, shaking you both to your core at his tone alone. He’d normally try to be soft with you but he keeps going, anger rising. “They can’t exactly force you to do something like that if you don’t want-“

“I’m going,” you don’t meet his eyes, you don’t want to, from what he can tell. Jinwoo was tempted to grab your face and force you to look at him. If months of progress went down the drain and he’d see those glimmering eyes the both of you had worked so hard to keep at bay, then so be it.

He couldn’t understand – what was going on? He thought everything was going well. You weren’t confusing him as Ashborn anymore. You saw him for who he was, and he saw you for who you really were. You were friends, yes, but he also wanted to-

“What the hell are you saying?” he grabs your shoulder, trying to force your eyes on him. He knew he just needed to see your eyes on him and things would fix itself. “Why would you want to go? I don’t get it, I don’t understand.”

Why…? Where did we go wrong?

Hae-in abruptly stands up and leaves, a hand over her face, but it does nothing to hide the tears falling from her face. You almost try to get up and comfort her, but you remember that Jinwoo is quite literally blocking your way as he sits next to you and he’s still trying to get you to look at him. You cast your gaze past him. Your eyes are glossing over, a hint of a glimmer. Jinwoo is scared he’s imagining that it’s there at all.

“Please, help me understand.” He successfully gets you to face him, hands carefully guiding your head towards him, but you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to block him out of your senses.

Look at me. Jinwoo doesn’t have to see to know that his eyes have taken a more purple hue. I need you to look and see that I remain here with you. I have gone nowhere since. Please.

“Jinwoo, I-“ your voice saying his name is something he would have relished in any other given circumstance, something as familiar as his abilities, as normal now as Ashborn’s presence. But at this moment it was strained, like you didn’t know him, like it was a mistake that you did. And yet he insisted so – that you had a future that you would be present in one another’s lives.

“What happened that-“

“Jinwoo, I need you to let me go.”

He quickly removes his hands from your face. Every part of him right now hurts, but if it meant that small little orders from you at this moment would have you letting go of a humongous decision, then he was willing to do it. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so rough, I-”

“That’s not what I meant,” when you open your eyes to him, he sees a whole galaxy in them. You smile sadly, and it’s then that he realizes some of that galaxy is tears pooling at your eyes. “I need you to let me go now.”

…What? The thought that comes to mind is an echo between Ashborn and Jinwoo.

You choke out a sob, a wobbly smile still on your lips, and try to push yourself away from him, shrinking further back into your little café corner. “I… to be honest, a part of me… still hopes… of… you already know. And I am tired of it. You and Hae-in have shown me nothing but kindness. So, I wish to put an end to these stubborn thoughts. Please let me go.”

No. Wait for just a moment.

You clear your throat and put on a strained grin, the one he knows you wear when you’re having a hard time keeping the past you at bay. “I’ll continue to send updates, if you and Hae-in want! The three of us can have calls, too. But…”

Tell her.

“Jinwoo, please don’t assign a shadow soldier to me.”

He still had to tell you.

“I know you’ll try assigning a shadow for me. And I appreciate it. But for my own peace of mind, please don’t.”

NOW. “I swear I won’t be impulsive as before, after all, I have all of you waiting for me, so please – rest assured I don’t need one.” You swallow hard. “I simply… wish to be the friend you deserved from the very beginning. The one that doesn’t cling to you in the hopes of reliving the past.”

He wanted to cry, he couldn’t say anything. Ashborn prays to wake up in a hill of flowers.

“Will you let me have this?” you smile, eyes crinkling at the side. Tears slowly cascade down your face and even still he thinks you’re lovely, no matter how it tears him up inside.

Jinwoo clenches his fists until his knuckles bruise white. He stays across the same bench from you, but it’s different this time. You’re the one keeping distance as you press your back to the café glass, putting as much distance between the two of you. He doesn’t make a move to come closer.

With all the mental strength he had left, he agrees.

=O=O=O=O=O=O=

Despite Hae-in taking off in the middle of your initial announcement, all three of you had decided on trying to spend your remaining time in Korea together. You try not to talk about your departure as much as possible, and Hae-in doesn’t bring up how you and Jinwoo had talked as minimally as possible the following days.

When the day came, your departure from Korea was met with heartbreak and tears all around. Tears from Hae-in as she was losing a close friend, heartbreak from mostly Jinwoo (definitely Ashborn) that he kept hidden behind a solemn expression.

You go and give Hae-in a hug as you both cry and laugh, promising to keep in touch. When you let go and notice Jinwoo staring at you, you hesitantly pull away from Hae-in.

He wonders which one you see in his eyes at this very moment – blue or purple?

The being that has loved you from the very beginning or the one that has come to? Both now losing you.

You had chosen to wear sunglasses on your departure – you tell Hae-in so it can go with your outfit and it was embarrassing for the other hunters to see your swollen eyes, but Jinwoo knows otherwise. He can’t tell who he’s looking at right now, but whoever she was, she hesitates to come closer.

You hold out your hand to shake his and Hae-in is surprised at the gesture. Jinwoo stares at it blankly. Hae-in’s sad face has suddenly turned worried as it shifts between you and Jinwoo, wondering if the bad blood has suddenly come back and was rearing its ugly head at this climactic moment.

But in the next second, Jinwoo grabs your wrist and pulls you to his chest in a hug you would have said was more crushing than Hae-in’s. He cradles the back of your head in his hand, pushing you as close to him as possible – hoping that maybe if he holds you tight enough maybe you’ll be a part of him, that you won’t be able to go. He knows how this might look like to Hae-in, but it didn’t matter. He was beginning to crack at the seams and his desperation was leaking through.

He wanted to say so many things.

Don’t go. I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that.

Do you know what you’ve done to me? I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I know what was holding me back all this time.

You were right. We should have spent more time together. Can we have that now? If I beg right now, will you let me have that?

“Please come back,” he whispers instead.

-to us. Please. And when you do, may you stay forevermore.

You pull away first, and it hurts. Ashborn’s heart hurt. Jinwoo’s heart did, too. Especially when you refuse to look at him again. You clear your throat and manage a strangled laugh.

“Stay safe, guys,” you smile, but the sun hits your glasses at just the right spot and he sees eyes glittering. They seemed to glow fainter and fainter until there was nothing but dullness. Not even a mortal shine to them. “And I hope you guys stay happy.”

The soldier Jinwoo assigned to you goes back to his shadow. It cries out sadly as you board the plane.

Jinwoo walks Hae-in home. Despite her best efforts, he doesn’t crack a smile or say anything past a hum or a single word when she initiates a conversation to break the sad atmosphere of the day. He waits for her to get in safely to her apartment - not even noticing her dejected form feeling she did not have both of her friends for comfort at the same day - before he walks away.

Jinwoo finds himself in a park bench facing the setting sun. When he sits down and closes his eyes, he sees teary glittering eyes absolutely heartbroken.

“Ashborn… Jinwoo… will I find someone I can say I love again, too? Don’t I deserve that, too?”

I love you.

And they weep.

=O=O=O=O=O=O=

Something was off, that much was certain. Jinwoo couldn’t put his finger on what it was, and it was making him slowly lose his mind.

It didn’t start immediately, of course. As you promised, you kept in touch with them as much as possible. He was pretty sure that he could be living under the same roof as you at the amount of updates he and Hae-in received. To an extent, it warmed him at the thought that you had stayed true to your word of letting him know what was happening with your life and it reassured Ashborn of your safety. It did feel like you were still there with him, but he would have preferred being able to actually see you right there beside him (Touch you as well, if you’d let him, Ashborn whispers)

He and Hae-in would usually meet up at the café to give you a video call to make things more convenient by being in the same place. But by the way your eyes glossed over at times seeing them together, he knew what you were thinking. He wanted to reassure you, tell you that whatever feelings or thoughts you think he had for her aren’t there, but you weren’t here either.

And he couldn’t do that to you, not when you had asked to get some space so you could move on.

But he wanted to wait, the same way Ashborn did, the same way you did. And if you and Ashborn had found yourselves in another world, in a new time, and still clung to each other so fiercely, then surely the universe would give him a chance as well.

You were most likely just having a hard time reigning in your past self, as you had said. You needed time to adjust, and maybe some time apart would help with that.

All in due time, Igris whispers, comforting the monarchs.

Right, Jinwoo agrees, and so does Ashborn. But Ashborn should’ve known the universe was a fickle thing.

A few months in and you were having a video call with him and Hae-in again at the café. You were in a hospital bed, hit with a strange spell that was able to incapacitate an S-Rank healer such as yourself, enough to make you go down with something like a fever.

It had knocked you out for a full day, and your sudden absence concerned your friends, but they had both received messages during your treatment when they kept asking for updates that left Jinwoo with a bad taste in his mouth.

hey. i’m her friend. she’s asleep right now. should be awake by tomorrow. i’ll tell her to call when she gets up.

The odd typing was one thing, but the lack of introductions or any other info didn’t sit well with him. Hae-in was concerned as well, but chalked it up to a hunter that was with you who only used your phone for a second to answer their incessant messaging.

Jinwoo would’ve accepted that, that is if he wasn’t paying attention to most things about you. If there was anything he knew, it was that you never gave away your phone password to just anyone. It was a rather hard to remember pattern that you would swipe quickly so no one would remember, and you’d only slow down to teach it to a close friend.

But he still kept his calm. Yes, despite getting used to your arrangement here in Korea, maybe you had gotten yourself a couple of friends in China. He was happy for you, truly. You were beginning to live a little on your own.

Jinwoo kept calm, breathing deeply. You were alright. Things were going to be alright with you, and right now they were.

“Are you feeling better now?” Hae-in asks worriedly, but then she looks thoughtful, “Your friend didn’t really give us any details past that you were resting and we’d hear from you today or something.”

“…Friend?” You blink, and then you clear your throat. “Oh, yeah, my friend. Did they call you?”

Something wasn’t sitting right with Jinwoo, but he was unsure if it was dangerous for your wellbeing when you were so calm about it.

“No, they just sent a message,” Hae-in smiles softly. “Look at you! Finally making friends. Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

Jinwoo flinches. He saw something. Just there. At the corner of the screen.

Something moved.

“Introduce, yes, um,” you laugh bashfully. “Maybe next time, yeah? They’re a little… shy.”

You say that, and then it happens. For just a split second, you look to the side, right at the side where the movement came from, and then your focus is back on the screen and them. You smile softly, in complete peace. It reassures Jinwoo, but still something nags at the back of his mind.

Would you like me to go check, my king? Beru, ever so dutiful, asks. He was ready to travel through shadows or up in the air with just a word from his master. Our queen’s safety should be top priority, yes?

There’s truth in that, however, Jinwoo wasn’t used to Ashborn hesitating like this, not when it came to you. We have sworn a promise to her, have we not?

Jinwoo wanted to reason that they had promised not to put a shadow soldier on you, but not that they wouldn’t check up on you with a shadow every now and then. Or maybe Jinwoo could go and visit you himself? You’d appreciate having a friend visit, right? Especially in your current state.

But Jinwoo knew it inside – he was just making up excuses. And he knew Ashborn was right – he was breaking your trust. You were trying to be a good person moving on from the past and an even better friend, and here he was asking you for more.

You were fine.

He pretends not to see you cast another glance at your peripheral and the corners of your mouth tick up in a smile.

Thanks for the offer, Beru, he says finally. But we’re all good.

Right. They were good.

=O=O=O=O=O=

It was the little things that were slowly leading up to something that Jinwoo couldn’t ignore anymore.

Your updates lessened quite considerably, but that was understandable. A few months or so after that talk you had during your time at the hospital, things had taken an upturn for you and your career.

Your name had garnered international levels of recognition as people started hearing about an S Rank Healer from Korea aiding the best hunters of China in a nearly catastrophic raid. Again, Hae-in and Jinwoo were nearly worried to death, but at this point they were becoming slightly used to it. However, it didn’t completely stop Jinwoo from wishing you’d come home soon.

Especially when something was starting to seem… off.

He wanted to say something, even Ashborn was unnerved by this turn of events. They could sense that things had changed, they just couldn’t put their name on what it was.

Yes, your updates had been significantly cut ever since China had asked you to be more active in their Hunter’s Association guild activities, but it wasn’t just that.

Whenever you had calls at night with Jinwoo – he says he just wanted to check up on you after he got out late from a dungeon and he wasn’t able to meet up with Hae-in – they were sometimes unceremoniously cut short. Sometimes it would be a knock on your bedroom door or your phone ringing by your bedside if you were using your laptop for the call. You’d apologize profusely and with a heavy heart he’d have to let you go with an understanding smile. At first, he had thought it was just work calling you late into the night and cursed at the Hunter’s Association for working you to the bone.

And then, it was during video calls while you were having a walk outside. Hae-in had ran up to Jinwoo while he was having his daily quests for the day to show that you were on the other end. He decided right then and there that the daily quest could wait, punishment zone be damned, your appearance would come first. You were having a morning walk as well in a park near where you were staying. Jinwoo thought he was imagining it at first, but then it happens a second time. Something dark flashes into the corner of the screen for a second and then it was gone again. When he waits for it for a third time, it doesn’t come back out, and Jinwoo is left feeling like he was slowly losing his mind.

But he couldn’t keep lying to himself anymore. He loves you, but that didn’t mean he’d keep making up excuses to himself for you. Something was up.

It all comes to him not from you, but from the news. Once more, you’re under the media’s focus as they celebrate another successful raid with your help. This time, they announce your tremendous support for China’s best. Jinwoo watches with bated breath as he stares at the hunters leaving the gate, one in particular.

And then they realized what was going on.

You had been hiding something.

Not something, Ashborn whispers. Someone.

Jinwoo agrees, but the more he watches, the more he wishes for glittering eyes to look at him once more.

The best type of partner really was someone you went to dungeons with, huh? Especially when they looked at you like that.

Gold eyes almost shining as bright as yours whenever they looked at you. 

They look familiar, Ashborn says. Jinwoo agrees, unnerved. They pray they are wrong.

=O=O=O=O=O=

Far too long. It’s been far too long since you saw each other face to face. A year flew by so quickly; you weren’t around, only seeing and hearing each other through calls and getting updates through messages, and then suddenly you were meeting again in the flesh.

But it wasn’t quick enough. Not for Jinwoo. Not for Ashborn.

Jinwoo fixes his tie one more time, unsure whether to tighten it to keep his nerves steady or loosen it slightly again so he’d be able to breathe better despite already trying to suppress his hyperventilating.

“Jinwoo, are you okay?” a familiar voice asks. “You’re looking pale and you’re breaking into sweats.”

He turns around to face the blonde woman. Hae-in smiles at him serenely. She wore a modest dress for the formal event that only served to accentuate how lovely she looked.

Without thinking twice how it might appear, she reaches up and fixes his collar and tie for him. In Jinwoo’s periphery, other hunters cast glances their way.

He knows what they’re all thinking, especially with how close they were. He’s heard it more times than he can count.

“You look great together.”

Is that what you still want? Ashborn asks tentatively, voice quiet in the back of his mind. My words remain true, you know, even to this very moment. If you wish to pick a future for yourself, I will no longer hold you back. I will love her still, but you…

Jinwoo had invited Hae-in to the International Hunter’s Guild Conference After Party as his plus one. He had heard from someone that surely the Hunter’s Association representatives - that accursed event that made you think to leave in the first place - would be invited as well, so he immediately asked Chairman Go to be Korea’s rep for this conference (not mentioning he merely wanted to see you again). Maybe he knew from the very beginning, or maybe he just remembered their little strike squad, but the  chairman (bless his heart) thought it would be wise to invite Hae-in as his partner. Although a little hesitant, Jinwoo agreed just to be sure the chairman didn’t suddenly think to change his decision. Besides, Jinwoo thought, he figured you would have definitely missed her and looked for her (and if Jinwoo went alone, you might have scolded him for not bothering to bring her along if he was able to in the first place). So to be quite blunt, he had invited Hae-in to be in your good graces. 

He was starting to realize this mistake, however. Ever since you had left and he had fully accepted his feelings for you, his thoughts were more so filled with you. But now, lost in his reverie and at the idea of seeing you again, he had guiltily forgotten Hae-in’s feelings for him. They still hung out but it’s mostly when they were meeting to have a joint video call with you. He found himself not spending as much time as her outside of that. She got busy when your strike squad got put on hold so maybe she didn’t notice as well. But now, Jinwoo realizes he has to keep his word to you, he won’t lead her on - he’d let her know he wasn’t interested in her. 

And then maybe he can tell you how he truly feels now. The idea is blissful, just as Ashborn had said before. Maybe twice as much because it was him that was feeling it all now, and not only a side effect from Ashborn’s feelings. But there’s a chill that runs up his spine - what if you don’t accept his feelings?

What if there’s already some-

Wait. Jinwoo shook his head. One at a time. He had to see you first. Made sure you were alright, despite your words during your calls. He breathes in deeply, thinking of glittering eyes looking at him and a hill of flowers but beyond that, he remembers a sweet smile and beautiful laughter from someone who made him warm and at home. He had an answer to Ashborn’s question the moment he said goodbye to you at that airport, and he swore it would never change. 

We’re way past that question, aren’t we?

Ashborn laughs in agreement, but Jinwoo can still hear the relief in it.

Jinwoo raises his hand and holds onto Hae-in’s wrists before lowering them. He gives a small tilt of his head towards the crowds of party goers to let her know to look around and she realizes his intentions. Almost immediately, she removes herself from his grasp and takes a good few steps back, her whole face red. Jinwoo side glances at the people who remain watching and stares them down until they’re nervously forced to look away. He sighs in annoyance.

Where were you? We’ve all waited long enough, haven’t we?

Almost on cue, he feels it. One of his soldiers is lit with a familiar warmth and he immediately knows which one it is. After all, it had watched over you for months before you departed and you were put in separate ways, he can tell it had missed you, too, as well as all his shadows. He looks around in a rush and finally he sees a familiar head poking from the crowd.

Beru gleefully trills. Our queen is h-!

Jinwoo gapes. You make your way past the crowd and into their line of vision, but that’s not all Jinwoo notices. Even Hae-in and, from what Jinwoo could tell, other hunters have noticed as well. Or maybe they couldn’t see it, but feel it is definitely a better term.

You looked otherworldly – almost even more than your past self, if Ashborn was honest. Your very presence is all consuming and Jinwoo is reminded of the hospital room where the both of you had started anew. Except this time, he knew that no matter how dark his shadows tried to take over, you might as well overcome it and more. Your eyes don’t just glitter anymore. Your whole body was practically glowing.

My light, Ashborn had said. And although Jinwoo said he understood later on, he didn’t think he would completely see it like this.

Light. Yes, you were definitely as blinding yet comforting as light, Jinwoo thought so. Especially when you run towards him and Hae-in. You throw your arms open and rush them into a hug. If all three of you had been normal people, you might have crashed into the floor right then and there, but Jinwoo and Hae-in stand their ground, returning your hug with just as much fervor. When you've had your fill of touch, you step back to look at them fully and admire their presence.

You go to hug Hae-in again and she grins like you were never separated. Jinwoo supposes he failed to control his expression - he blames it all on Ashborn - but when Hae-in sees his face, she pulls away first. You pout, but then she turns to Jinwoo.

“Don’t act like a stranger now!” she laughs, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him closer to your little group.

He gapes at her, unsure what to do for a moment, before he turns to you. You’re staring hard at Hae-in, gaping just as much as he was moments before, most likely, before your eyes travel to his hand enclosed in Hae-in’s. In a split second, he pulls away from her and clears his throat to ease his nerves. The sound seems to knock you out of your thoughts and you finally look at him. Jinwoo can’t breathe. 

“Heya. It’s been a while,” you smile at him softly. Your voice sounds like heaven to him, now without the barrier of static that came of hearing you behind a phone. It was you. 

Your eyes do not glitter, but they shine with so much joy and your whole being glows with so much life that your time apart felt like no time away from each other at all. Like Ashborn had said - his soul had found itself home. 

It was all you, and all Jinwoo and Ashborn could feel was pure elation. 

Jinwoo gives you a lazy grin, lost in the happiness of it all. “Hey.”

There’s a pause and he sees your hesitation - you go to raise both arms for a hug but stop a quarter of the way, eyes looking at him with a flash of uncertainty, doubting yourself - before Jinwoo closes the distance. He’s waited long enough. They’ve waited long enough. 

He holds you just as tightly as he did in that airport all those months back - an arm around your waist and a hand cradling the back of your head, pulling you as close as he could. 

“Welcome back,” he whispers the words into your ear and he feels you shiver. A small laugh rings out in response, echoing beautifully in his ears at your proximity. 

Welcome home, beloved.

“...Oh, about that…”

To Jinwoo’s displeasure, you pull away first again. However, his hearts continue to beat fast and elated as you take his hand in yours (he tries not to think about how you hold Hae-in’s in the other). You grin at your friends, positively seemingly a source of light for the whole room. 

“It’s been so long. We’ve got so much catching up to do,” you laugh again, and Jinwoo felt like he died and was reborn all over again. He was clinging to every word that came out of your lips. “Before anything else, I need to tell you guys something.”

“Wait, wait! Before you say anything more, this calls for a toast.” Hae-in grins. “Let me get some drinks for us! Be right back, I’ll be super quick.”

Hae-in breaks free from your grasp and disappears into the crowd before you can tell her to stop. Only you and Jinwoo are left and you sigh in resignation with a small laugh. You catch him staring at you from the corner of your eye and give him a small smile.

Jinwoo’s hearts were pumping a mile a minute - he was scared you’d let go, and then it would feel like you weren’t here again. He knew it was a silly thought - because you were right here with him, in the present - but the fear still crept up to him. Especially with how you were suddenly acting. 

You look up to where Hae-in disappeared off to, before turning back to Jinwoo. A chill runs up his spine as your eyes meet, but this time he knows it’s not because of the overload of happiness he was feeling from reuniting with you. There was something behind your eyes as you looked at him. 

“I would’ve liked to tell you both at the same time, but I also think you deserve to know first before anyone else,” you smile, and Jinwoo wonders if he imagined he saw something bittersweet in it for a split second – your glow flickering for just a moment – before everything is seemingly back in place. You swing your hands together once. Jinwoo almost forgot you were still holding his; it felt too natural to have you so close. “Come with me for a sec?”

He smiles serenely at you and swings your hands together again. “Of course.”

Jinwoo lets you lead him to a corner of the gala hall, close to a window and far away from the crowd. He relishes the way the moonlight shines down on you, but the sudden happiness suddenly cuts short when you let go of his hand and he’s thrown back into the present. The warmth of your body is gone and he felt like the cold of the night air was seeping in even when the window was sealed close. 

Something was wrong. You felt so far away all of a sudden. 

You grin at him and something inside him – Jinwoo, Ashborn – sighs at the very sight. He's reminded of a hill of flowers, and yet why does he see a red sky?

“Jinwoo, you were right.” Your smile brightens even more, but finally Jinwoo realizes a little too late why he was so bothered. That look in your eyes. He knows it. “I have found the mortal heart that will stay with me.”

It’s the same smile you gave him when you first saw each other in that street, separated only by a crosswalk and a red light. But this time, that smile is not for him, and that red light is reminiscent of a red sky that keeps you from him. 

Please… tell me it’s a lie…

Jinwoo goes quiet. Smiles at you. Pats your head like he always does. But he doesn’t say anything.

Back then, you would have noticed so many things. His smile is fixed. Hands shaky. 

But not this time. He hopes at least that you pretend not to notice. Surely you still know him. More than anyone else, you said so yourself, right?

Surely, I am still there with you…?

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” Bright. Light. You shone so brightly. And yet that light was for…

It was his mistake.

He already knew you were lovely, the word or anything like it wouldn’t be enough to describe you.

So what made him think that any other heart wouldn’t have seen that as well?

The silence is deafening. He can’t hear the other hunters conversing around him or the music playing in the air. Only a ringing in his ears, not even a thought from the black heart that throbs painfully in his chest. Slowly your smile slips and confusion is in your face, but all Jinwoo can see is the way your eyes glitter. Now that he was seeing it so close, they seemed to shine a different color. 

“Jinwoo…? Are you okay?” you tilt your head in concern. “You look… pale…”

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. What does he even say? He’s saved – or cursed – when Hae-in comes back with a tray of drinks. 

“It took me a while to find you guys. Sorry for making you wait!” Hae-in excitedly greets, handing you one of the drinks. She looks at you but all you can do is smile at her awkwardly as you look away from Jinwoo. Hae-in looks confused and turns to Jinwoo, who continues to stare, eyes dull and far away. When Jinwoo still fails to say anything more, Hae-in tries to strike up the conversation once more. “So, what were you going to s-?”

“Oh? Rìluò, did you finally find those friends of yours?”

Jinwoo felt all the blood in his body go cold, almost stopping short in their circulation. A name unfamiliar to him, but the way it’s spoken so fond, so soft, by a voice seemingly so used to harsh words comes from behind the three of you. Jinwoo prays for it to be wrong, for the person to make a mistake, but when you turn around first, he can almost hear his hearts shatter into a million pieces. He watches the smile on your face stretch and your eyes shine so bright they could look like small suns.

Golden…?

“Zhigang! Took you long enough,” you laugh heartily, but at this moment Jinwoo can’t help but think they sound screeching to his ears. 

The black haired male huffs a sigh, but there’s a smile on his lips – fond, soft, and all meant for you. Jinwoo can feel himself grinding his teeth together, trying to keep it together. “You took off so quickly it almost felt like you were trying to get away from me as fast as possible. Don’t tell me you still think I’m trying to tie you down to China?”

Jinwoo watches you playfully roll your eyes before walking closer to the male and before he or Ashborn can stop himself, they find Jinwoo’s hand enclosed around your wrist. Jinwoo blinks in surprise at his own actions, and looks around to find you and Hae-in staring at him, just as surprised. From the corner of his eye, he can see the stranger staring at him, too, golden eyes hard and face impassive, waiting for his next move. 

“Jin…woo?” your voice is soft as you blink at him and Jinwoo looks at you, expression conflicted. 

He eventually gives you a sheepish laugh, but he doesn’t let go. His hands feel clammy with cold sweat, and he’s forced to let go. He clears his throat. “Sorry about that. Just… a force of habit, or something. So, who’s your friend?”

Jinwoo didn’t mean to put so much bite into the last word, but a bit of Ashborn had slipped past him without meaning to. They don’t try to take it back, though. Especially when they watch the other male tilt his head to the side, staring at him blankly for a second before there’s a sort of mirth in his eyes, his mouth ticking up at the corners – challenging. Jinwoo could feel his shadows stirring beneath him, his anger rising.

Jinwoo hears Beru screeching. This man dares to mock his highness! My king, let me- 

Stop. It does not bode well to do anything now. She watches. Ashborn cuts in, but Jinwoo doesn’t miss how his voice sounded dull, like it was coming from far away. 

The man holds out a hand to you and Jinwoo feels something get stuck in his throat as you take it without thinking twice and stand by the man’s side, hand still enclosed in his. Jinwoo watches as you intertwine your fingers together and lean into him. 

“Jinwoo, Hae-in, this is Liu Zhigang. He’s a hunter from China who happens to be my partner,” you smile shyly as you rub the back of your neck and Jinwoo can only think how bittersweet it felt to stand here at this very moment. “Well, my partner inside and outside gates, if you get what I mean.”  

Hae-in gasps and Jinwoo can only watch. You  grin at them both, and when your eyes land on Jinwoo, he manages a stiff smile. 

"Well someone's been busy while they were abroad," Hae-in huffs out a short laugh. Jinwoo manages a single laugh to contribute to the conversation, Liu Zhigang has been watching him from his peripheral this whole time and it was getting on his nerves more than earlier. 

Something... something isn't right.

But Jinwoo can't seem to hear Ashborn clearly. His blood is rushing in his veins.

"Sorry for hiding it from you guys for so long," you smile apologetically, and yet your eyes glitter so brightly it dampens your sad expression. "It's not that I don't trust you, but Zhigang thought it would be for the best if no one knew for the moment considering his title as a National Level Hunter."

"It's very annoying, but unfortunately despite my title, it hasn't stopped my so-called "hunter followers" to not being so welcoming to a possible love life. Something about only deserving someone who could stand toe to toe with a National Level hunter, which is their way of saying no one can stand by my side," Liu scoffs, the disgust on his face clear as day. But with a small laugh from you, his face immediately morphs into something calmer and Jinwoo doesn't miss how he gives your hand a single squeeze. Jinwoo wanted to punch a wall and he vaguely feels Ashborn retreating into the recesses of his consciousness to calm down lest they do something they'll regret. "Why the hell should I listen to any of them, though? Rìluò is more than worthy than any of their sorry asses. But even though I won't hesitate to send any of them to an early grave, I would prefer not to put her in any possible danger."

He smiles pleasantly and holds out a hand to Hae-in first. "Enough of that, however. It's a pleasure to meet the infamous Cha Hae-in. My dear partner can't seem to shut up about her companions whenever she's given the opportunity to talk about them." 

You let go of him for a second to punch his shoulder before looping your arms together; Jinwoo is reminded of your first outing as new friends. Hae-in gives his hand a firm shake and returns his warm smile. "Thank you for taking care of my best friend!"

Liu nods and turns to Jinwoo. "And the infamous Sung Jinwoo. Although I have heard of your name before in the news, I have to admit I know you and Miss Cha more from Rìluò's stories and the calls you had whenever she was free. Or refused to talk to me."

"I'll always prefer to talk to them than you, though," you grin mischievously. Jinwoo felt like a statue you had brought to a conversation he wasn't welcome to. "Although you are useful sometimes. Thanks to you, I was able to attend this event and come to Korea. So I guess I have to thank you, Mr. National Level."

Jinwoo snaps into the present for a second. "What do you mean you were able to come to this event because of him? Weren't you automatically invited as a representative?"

"They changed the rules at the last minute," to Jinwoo's displeasure, it was Liu who replied for you. He fights to keep his face as impassive as ever. "The representatives are supposed to be included, but when they dropped the invitation, thankfully I could still come here with her as a plus one."

"I doubt they would have denied a National Level hunter's request though," Hae-in jokes. Jinwoo truly felt like he should have walked out of this conversation a long time ago, however your light was too addicting, even to this very moment.

"True. But still!" you laugh merrily, and Jinwoo was doing his best to pretend that Liu wasn't there watching his reactions. "Now we can go on a double date later!"

Jinwoo's unable to hide the way he flinches, but no one notices him still. Hell, you still thought they were an item. Thankfully, Liu had turned from him at the right time to give you a smile. From the corner of his eye, Jinwoo sees Hae-in blush in response, but she's at a loss for words and she's unable to properly deny your proposal. 

"That's-! I, um, we're not really-" Hae-in slowly loses her voice as her face goes completely red. Jinwoo could only feel his head throb. 

"Maybe... next time. I'm not feeling too good for tonight," he finally says. It was no lie. He felt faint. All the negative emotions rushing through him in a rush were taking its toll, and elevated by the other heart struggling to survive in him at this very moment, he was feeling the breakdown of a lifetime. 

You look at him with concern. "Are you alright? I can heal you if you want-"

"That's alright," Jinwoo does his best to give you a reassuring happy smile. He can't lose his composure completely in front of you. He won't. He refuses. Even though the familiar warmth of your healing was so tempting. If he feels it, he might just spill everything he was feeling right then and there. "Thanks for the offer, though. I appreciate it."

"Maybe it's best to sleep it off," Liu cuts in, and again Jinwoo feels his blood thumping in his ears. He meets golden eyes straight on, but this feels to be a mistake, because something in the back of his head throbs worse. He thought it was because of his hearts breaking in record time, but something was trying to push through. 

Something is... very wrong. I feel like... I've met this man before. 

Jinwoo swallows hard, trying to put Ashborn's voice on the back burner for just a few seconds. "Yeah, maybe."

"In that case, we should head home, Jinwoo," Hae-in says and she steps closer to try and help him somehow. Jinwoo groans - this wasn't doing well for your idea of him and Hae-in. But his head kept on hurting impossibly worse, it was almost a struggle to stand. 

"Get some rest, Jinwoo." You pull away from Liu to give him a hug. He returns it readily, but he doesn't hold you like before, he settles for wrapping an arm around your waist. Your scent was comforting, and yet... something kept bugging him. You pull away far too soon and give him a warm smile. "Don't worry! Zhigang was able to ask the Chinese Hunter's Association to let us stay here in Korea for a little longer."

""Let you"?" Jinwoo squinted at you. Maybe if he let himself faint now, he'd wake up and this would be all a dream. "I thought you were coming back home?"

"Ah. About that..." you and Liu share a look and Jinwoo already knows he'll hate the next few words. "I'm... thinking of moving to China. D-don't worry, though! I'm still thinking about it. I just thought it would be nice to be close to Zhigang." 

You say don’t worry, but the last time you said that, you left them for China and came back with a boyfriend. Jinwoo couldn’t even summon the energy to be surprised at the moment. He knows it’ll sink in later on, but he just felt numb and in pain at the same time. 

I… am forgetting something, Ashborn sounded so far away. Something very important.

“I’d say I’m surprised, but after you just introduced us to your boyfriend, I can’t say anything would be more surprising.” Hae-in sighs and you manage another sheepish grin. Something catches Liu’s eye and he turns to something in the crowd of hunters before turning back to your group.

“Rìluò, I’m sorry to ask this, but can you come with me? I want to introduce you to some of my associates for a second.” Liu nods to his men who stand several feet away from your group and they immediately head to the direction of where he was looking just moments before. 

You glance at Hae-in and Jinwoo for a second before throwing your arms around them again. When you pull away, you grin at them before turning to Liu. “That’s fine with me. Jinwoo needs to rest up anyway.”

No, Jinwoo wanted to say. I don’t need rest. But his head was pounding. Where the hell did this migraine come from? 

“Let’s go then.” Liu holds out his arm to you and you grasp it. You throw your friends one more wave before Liu leads you back to the party. 

Jinwoo watches you walk away through half lidded eyes. They were slowly closing, but then they opened in alarm. He watches as you reach to your back – to your scar – and rub it. His face morphs to concern and almost automatically he takes steps closer towards you. He needed to make sure you were okay, but then he stopped. 

Without missing a beat, Liu untangles his arm from your hold to rub your back in soothing circles. Jinwoo sees it: his hand glows gold. 

And then his vision fades to black. 

Again he sees a hill of flowers. But he also sees the red sky. The hill is sprayed with golden blood. Ashborn… Jinwoo holds you in his arms once more, and he feels like crying. But as he raises his head, the dragons and his soldiers are not there. 

A monarch stands before him and you, laughing maniacally.

After he had dealt the deathly blow to your back, his hands now dripped with golden blood.

The same gold as his eyes.

Jinwoo’s eyes fade back to the gala, eyes momentarily blinded by the lights of the event hall. His stare is focused once more into you and Liu, conversing animatedly with hunters and officials Jinwoo couldn’t care to know about.

It’s him. Ashborn’s voice echoes in his head. That man is him. 

The migraine that had taken hold of Jinwoo earlier was now completely gone and was replaced with a primal anger that had him gritting his teeth until his mouth hurt, but he could care less. 

And now he holds her like he did not take her away.

Jinwoo takes a step forward, his shadows ready at a moment’s notice. Screw a National Level hunter, he’d go down if he had to. What’s important is that you weren’t anywhere near h-

He hears laughter, and he watches as you grin. You’re glowing again, and the shadows underneath Jinwoo seem to steady themselves. Even the anger he felt earlier dissipates ever so slightly. He tries to take one more step, but he falters. He can see the glitter in your eyes, aimed at Liu. The hunter returns your grin as you shared another joke between you both, and Jinwoo felt like the world was swallowing him whole.

You were happy.

“Jinwoo?” Hae-in appears beside him, holding on to his arm. He felt a little unsteady on his feet and it must have been obvious to her, “You alright?” All he could manage was a small nod as he continued to stare at you.

Hae-in follows his gaze and after a small pause, she speaks. “Oh. I think I figured it out.” 

Jinwoo swallows thickly. There’s that feeling of deja-vu again. A conversation that did not bode well for him. “What is it?” he finally answers.

“Something was bugging me when she first arrived. I couldn’t smell her scent. But that’s not quite right. It’s not that I can’t smell her. It’s that she smells different.” 

“Like what?”

“Like him. He smells like a hunter, but I can actually tolerate it. Somehow, her smell compliments his. How can I put it? It’s sort of like when people layer their perfumes - it’s like their scents go well together. They smell different separately, but together they smell completely new.”

There’s a beat where Jinwoo prays that she stays quiet for the rest of the evening, but he should have known better. He should have known that whatever higher beings are there looking over him have hated him from the very beginning. 

Hae-in smiles, “They look great together.”

Jinwoo and Ashborn could only stare, silently grinding their teeth. Not only did they disagree, but they hated that whole sentence altogether. 

They had to hate it. For what it meant for you otherwise. And what it meant for the future you could have had together.

 =O=O=O=O=O=

He takes Hae-in home shortly after. The ride back was silent. Hae-in figured he felt more off than he wanted to show, so she let him be.  

Jinwoo feels funny. He asks Ashborn for his thoughts. Maybe how to feel better. 

It’s quiet. Jinwoo feels like he has a single heart in his chest. It had never been this silent. 

But he knows Ashborn is still there because it hurts. His chest hurts so much. Too full. His chest feels too full. He hasn’t felt pain this bad since he was still a player. 

“Thank you for taking me home,” Hae-in smiles brightly at him as they stand outside her door. Brightly. There’s that word again. Her eyes are grey, but Jinwoo blinks and sees divine eyes full of devotion for him, sees dull mortal eyes in a hospital, and then he sees eyes so happy in Hae-in’s and he feels like he’s going to throw up. 

Jinwoo nods numbly. Hae-in, concerned that he was sweating so much, tries to reach out to him but he reassures her that he's fine (it's fine, it's fine, it’s fine). And Jinwoo heads home alone, his mind a mess.

Jinwoo immediately beelines for the bathroom, stumbling in and locking the door. 

He looks at himself in the mirror.

His eyes are the ones you had when you were in the hospital.

“Ash… born?”

There’s a beat before he hears Ashborn.

I always wondered… I had easily thought it was simply something only felt by mortal beings.

Why had you asked them for the cup of reincarnation?

Just once more. That’s what you said.

Just once more.

And then it's silent again. And Jinwoo hates it. 

He closes his eyes, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, hoping he can erase the image of you and Liu and also erase the look in his eyes. 

Instead, he’s back at that hill where he first saw you. You’re no longer there. The flowers continue to bloom. But you are not there. The sun remains overhead, the tree shielding him. But you are not there. It’s so empty and his chest feels ready to burst.

He opens his mouth, ready to call for Igris and Beru, anyone to help him or bring him to a hospital. 

But instead he hears Ashborn’s voice, calling your name – your real name (it’s the same name, you are the same one, you always have been) – on that lone hill.

Jinwoo hears himself whisper your name to the bathroom walls.

But you're not there. He looks at the mirror and the only eyes that stare back at him is his.

The world has never felt this cruel.

 =O=O=O=O=O=

Jinwoo didn’t really know what he was expecting, but this was definitely not it. This was definitely not the way things were supposed to go, and in all honesty he wants to blame you, just without the anger or hatred attached to the word. Just that everything was falling apart around him and he couldn’t do anything but watch it happen and try not to break from all that was transpiring in these last few days. 

In record time, he had found himself back with you, but you seem to have grown farther away from him, impossibly more so than when you were miles away from him. He thought it couldn't get worse.

But of course, he was wrong again. 

Liu Zhigang sat in front of Jinwoo, quietly drinking tea, and the shadow monarch heir was doing everything he could to keep Ashborn from calling out one of the soldiers to attack him. If he was going to be honest, trying to suppress Ashborn was helping distract Jinwoo from wanting to do the same. Golden eyes watched him carefully as Liu took another sip, almost as if he knew what was going on in Jinwoo's head.

Hae-in sits beside Jinwoo, waiting for the two men to start the conversation, but they continue to stare at each other silently. Feeling the tension rise between them, Hae-in finally clears her throat to catch both of their attentions, but they don't seem to hear her. She clears her throat once more, louder, a frown on her face now, and finally Jinwoo looks away and Liu closes his eyes, seemingly enjoying his drink all this time. 

"Well, thank you for inviting us over, Hunter Liu," Hae-in smiles warmly. Jinwoo continues to look around everywhere in the cafe except for the golden eyed man. He breathes in deeply, feeling his shadows stir underneath him. 

Ashborn, calm down. Jinwoo internally sighs. The black heart in his chest beats erratically.

Knowing who this man is makes it hard to. How can you tell me that knowing what I know?

"Of course, but I don't think those words are quite right," Liu smiles lazily, setting his cup down. He leans back into his seat and gives the cafe a once over. "I’m honored to be welcomed into someplace special to Rìluò and her friends." 

Jinwoo felt more bitter than ever. Welcomed, right. Sure. If you asked Jinwoo, it felt more like he was desecrating the holy ground shared by your group. It didn’t help that Hae-in had insisted on him sitting on your spot by the window. 

Liu Zhigang had secretly contacted Jinwoo and Hae-in, saying it was something important that concerned you, but under no circumstance were they to inform you what the meeting was about. Jinwoo hated the thought of going anywhere with Liu Zhigang without you around - truthfully, he was worried that he might lose control of his body to Ashborn and his soldiers. Normally he wouldn't mind letting lose- especially if it was for you - but he wouldn't know how to justify the murder of a National Level hunter. And above all else, you would never forgive him once you'd find out. But Jinwoo was more than worried. What if you were sick? What if there was a problem you couldn't solve even with one of the strongest hunters in the world that stands beside you? He was still one of your closest friends. So with a bitter heart (and an enraged one) he agreed to meet up with Liu and Hae-in in the cafe you always went to. 

"I'm really sorry for cutting to the chase, but about what you said over the phone," Hae-in immediately jumps into the topic at hand and Jinwoo thanks her in his head for initiating the conversation. He could feel the venomous words in his mouth, trying to slip past and bite at Liu. "Is everything alright with our friend? She's not hurt or anything is she?"

Hae-in says the last part in a rush and Jinwoo can almost feel his blood stop circulating at her words. Thankfully - but annoyingly - Liu shakes his head with a small laugh. Jinwoo knew he was simply amused at the idea, but it still felt so mocking. 

"No, of course not. I’m sorry if I worried you, I didn't mean to. Had anything happened to Rìluò, you would be the first for me to contact, just like before. She actually ordered me to inform you of anything that happens to her if she's unable to give you any updates, so I assure you it's nothing serious," he laughs once more, before his face takes on a slightly more serious look. He runs a hand through his hair before he turns back to the duo. “I… wanted to ask how to make her happy.”

Jinwoo almost feels the world stop. Ashborn’s silence could even be deafening. There’s a pause before the same thought runs through them.

Why… would your murderer want you to be happy?

Jinwoo watches the look on Liu’s face closely, looking for something amiss – hoping for one, if he was a little more honest – but there’s only a small smile as he stares out the window, he looks lost in thought. But the more Jinwoo looks, he sees a familiar glimmer in golden eyes and he forces himself to look away. 

He was serious, but that just made Jinwoo and Ashborn more confused and angry. Was he leading you on? Planning on making you happy before he killed you once more? Did he think that since Ashborn was no more in flesh, he had the perfect opportunity to hurt you once more? But that just made things more confusing – Ashborn was essentially gone, so there was no need to kill you, right?

Or was this monarch simply so bloodthirsty that it did not matter as long as you bled once more? Jinwoo was spiraling and yet he couldn’t stop it, not with Ashborn’s anger backing up how he was feeling.

“Happy?” Jinwoo’s voice is harsh, and he knows that being so openly antagonizing would have made you hate him. And yet… and yet… he couldn’t seem to help all the bubbling emotions he was feeling. “Are you telling us that she’s not happy with you in the first place?”

Liu turns to Jinwoo, the smile on his face not faltering even for a second. If anything, it seemed to grow ever so slightly, and it was pushing Jinwoo to the very edge. 

Hae-in turns to him in a panic, glancing at Liu – very much remembering that he was still a National Level hunter – and speaks hurriedly. “Jinwoo, I’m sure that’s not what Hunter Liu is asking from us.”

Jinwoo and Liu continue to stare each other down, each one refusing to back down. “... Is that so…?”

After what feels like forever, Liu leans back into his seat, throwing an arm over the back of the seat. He smiles pleasantly and Jinwoo’s tempted to jump over the table. “I apologize if I failed to explain better. My Rìluò is happy, of course. I make sure that everything she wishes for is granted and more, however…”

Something flashes over his face for a second, something Hae-in missed, and something Jinwoo couldn’t pinpoint correctly. Almost like… anger? Liu was looking out the window again, something unseen. “As of late, I feel as if she… hasn’t been in the best of moods. And I don’t want that. Not for her. Never for her.”

“As such, under the guise that I wanted her to spend more time here in Korea, I came up with the idea to meet both of you,” he turns to them, golden eyes determined. And again, Jinwoo and Ashborn are unsure if it bodes well truly, and yet it riles them up all the same. “Who better to ask for help than her closest companions?”

Hae-in smiles, reassured, but she throws a nervous look at Jinwoo for a split second – the male completely quiet the whole time. “I see! It’s great that you care so much for her. We’d love t-”

“I’ll think about it.” Jinwoo cuts in. Hae-in turns to him, eyes wide at his answer. 

“Jin…woo?” Hae-in stutters out. 

The table is silent. Liu doesn’t say anything for a second, until finally, the smile on his face completely drops and his expression is cold. “Now why would that be? I’m sure my request is reasonable?”

Jinwoo shrugs, and he doesn’t have to look at a mirror to know his eyes blaze with purple. “Just a little confused why someone who claims to love my friend even needs tips to make her happy. She’s someone who finds joy in the smallest of things. So I wonder why-”

“Stop.” Liu’s voice leaves no room for question. There’s a pause, before he manages out a single laugh, but there’s no real humor in it. It sounded empty. “I have no idea why you’re so hostile towards me, Hunter Sung. But I will respect your wishes.”

Liu stands up and Hae-in nervously turns to Jinwoo and Liu, unsure what to say to solve the issue. Jinwoo was staring hard at the table.

Before Liu leaves completely, however, he stops right beside where Jinwoo sat. The lazy smile on his face is back. “Had you not been her friend, things would not have ended this easily, Hunter Sung.”

Hae-in felt like she held her breath until Liu was out the door completely before turning to Jinwoo in a rush. “What was that all about?”

Jinwoo could feel his hands shaking as he held them underneath the table, he knew his knuckles were bruised white as he held them in fists. If he squeezed them any stronger he might actually break a finger or two, and yet it wouldn’t be able to dampen his thoughts.

“I don’t like him. Simple as that,” he replies. He slowly releases his hands, trying to calm their shaking.

Hae-in stares at him incredulously before frowning. “Jinwoo. That’s not the truth and you know it. Tell me. Why are you so angry at Hunter Liu?”

Jinwoo doesn’t answer. How was he going to say it to her anyway? How does he tell her that he knew her first as the reincarnated lover of a monarch that lives inside him? That despite pushing her away at first, he had fallen for her? And now that she had moved on, he couldn’t seem to be the one to let go? How does he-

“Is it her?”

Jinwoo blinks. Did… he hear her right? He slowly turns to Hae-in. Her face is blank as she watches him carefully. 

“...What?” It was a dumb response, but it was all Jinwoo could manage at the moment. 

“I’m… I wish you wouldn’t treat me like a fool,” she says quietly, her head lowered with a sad smile. 

“No, of course not, I just…” Jinwoo swallows thickly. He supposed this was it. “I’m sorry. I… wasn’t quite sure how to tell you.”

“It’s… okay,” she says, but Jinwoo doesn’t miss the way her eyes water as she looks away with a laugh. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t know. When you look at her… when you touch her… it always feels more like a friend. I suppose I just hoped that maybe… I could have been mistaken.”

Jinwoo breathes in deeply. He already screwed up enough times. He needed to do this properly. “Forgive me, Hae-in. I… couldn’t return your feelings.”

Hae-in smiles sadly, her face crumpling. For a second, she refuses to cry, but eventually she turns around. Jinwoo looks away, if only to give her grace. After a few minutes, she turns back around. Her eyes are slightly swollen, but she clears her throat and pushes on. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t lie that it hurts… but you don’t owe me that,” she smiles bravely with a nod. 

Jinwoo manages a small smile. At this moment, it was all he could offer her. “Thank you.”

Hae-in looks away, nodding slowly, but when she turns back to him, her eyes are determined. “If… it’s not too awkward for you, can we still be friends?”

Jinwoo manages a laugh. “Of course.” He holds out a hand. “Friends.”

Hae-in smiles and laughs, holding on to his hand and shaking it once. “Friends.”

But Hae-in’s expression turns grave. “What… do you plan to do now? With Hunter Liu…”

“I… don’t know.” Jinwoo admits.

“I can’t bring myself to hate her or anything, despite our… current circumstances. So I promise I will say this as her friend,” Hae-in purses her lips. “She’s really happy… you know?”

Jinwoo pauses. When he closes his eyes, he sees a hill of flowers.

They agree. 

=O=O=O=O=O=

Jinwoo walks a ways behind your group – with you and Liu in the front and Hae-in in the middle. Jinwoo had a feeling she purposefully put herself there to make sure he didn’t try to do anything. 

Which was a funny thought for Jinwoo. For all the hatred and anger coursing through his body – both his and Ashborn’s – he wasn’t stupid enough to pull off anything right in front of you. 

But the moment your line of vision wasn’t on him and the other hunter – well, it was up for debate whether he would act on anything and the chances of not were fairly low and getting lower the longer he watched the both of you laugh and tease one another. 

Because of this, he was both thankful and annoyed that you were here together.

Just say the word, My King, Beru starts, voice just as venomous as he and Ashborn felt. Jinwoo wonders if it’s because his shadows reflected emotions or Beru really did just enjoy your company from what he sees with your time with Jinwoo and now felt robbed by it. Sometimes they really did feel like his children. He smiles at the idea of how his companions treasured you so, before he hears his dutiful shadow continue. I’ll rip his head off by his hair. 

Jinwoo is unable to keep himself from snorting at the thought, but when the group turns around at the sound, he expertly covers it with a coughing fit. Although not all are convinced.

“Jinwoo? Are you doing alright? Are you still feeling sick?” In record time, you leave Liu’s side (and to Jinwoo’s great satisfaction, he sees the other male’s eye twitch ever so slightly) to come closer to him. You enter healer and friend mode as your hand goes to his forehead, trying to feel for the familiar warmth of a fever. Jinwoo relishes the feel of your skin on his. Even when the last time they touched you was just the gala a week or so ago, it felt so long ago. Your touch was welcomed and it would be no exaggeration to say it was something they’d craved. He's tempted to lean into your touch.

But when you don’t sense any difference to his normal body temperature, you pull your hand back, and Jinwoo is left with the passing cold breeze that brushes through him and into his very soul. The lack of your presence is all the more apparent. “Maybe we shouldn’t have gone out today. Are you sure you’re not sick? A hunter’s quick healing  should have kicked in by now.”

You look at him, trying to read his face, and all Jinwoo could focus on was the worry on your face, the light in your eyes. He had seen that same look before, the first time he had met the first you in that hill of flowers. You had looked at him with concern when you called out for Ashborn and he failed to respond. He had walked away back then.

Oh, how time flew. He wished he could go back, to start again. The Cup of Reincarnation felt like a wasted opportunity now. Why did he have to meet you now after using it? This felt like a hell of his own making. Is this what he got for trying to get rid of the monarchs? He met and loved the reincarnated lover of the monarch he housed, only to lose her to the reincarnated monarch of the one who killed her.

It felt like one big comedy skit for everyone to laugh at while he’s left the butt of the joke.

“A cold, is it?” The deep voice is grating to Jinwoo’s ears, but he pretends not to notice it. You turn your head slightly to the side, listening, but your eyes remain with Jinwoo. He hoped they’d stay on him longer, if only for this moment. “That’s not quite what I heard. It was an interesting sound…”

The spell is broken and finally you look away from him, severing your short connection, Jinwoo swallows hard. He was feeling worse by the second. He looked away or else he was going to openly glare at Liu even when he knew you would catch him doing it. 

Control yourself.

Jinwoo breathes deeply. You’re one to talk. Don’t think I forgot you’re more blood thirsty than me.

“Eh? What do you mean by that?” You naively tilt your head, confused at Liu’s words, while the male stares at Jinwoo seemingly serenely. Jinwoo glares at empty air, all the while Hae-in’s eyes shift worriedly around everyone.

“Hmm. Don’t worry about it, Rìluò, maybe I heard wrong,” Jinwoo can almost see the smirk in his voice and the mirth in his glowing eyes. “But I do agree that Hunter Sung seems like he isn’t doing too well. I wonder why? Maybe you should head home early. There will be other chances to meet up.”

“Thanks for your concern,” Jinwoo looks up, managing a smile through gritted teeth as he fights being more sarcastic by the minute. “But I’m not missing out on any time I could have spent with my friend when she just got back from abroad.”

You turn to Jinwoo, touched by his declaration, and Jinwoo would be lying if he said he didn’t feel warm and proud that he made you happy. But Liu just had to cut into the moment with a hum. “If you say so. Just let us know if you change your mind.”

Jinwoo frowns, lips pulled tight. “… Right. Thanks.”

“You guys are… acting pretty odd…” you frown at them, eyes shifting from him and Liu suspiciously. Jinwoo breathes in deeply before he meets your eyes, trying his best to give you a smile that could convey everything he was feeling; you always knew how he did before, he hoped it didn’t stop now. You turn to look at Liu, who raises his eyebrows at you almost innocently with a lazy smile, but no one misses the softness of his gaze whenever it was aimed at you. “Are you guys-?”

“OKAY!” Hae-in claps her hands together, unable to take the tension. You jump at the sound, turning to her with complete surprise. Hae-in blushes at the sudden attention, but she successfully cuts through the tension from earlier. “Let’s start and go over our plans for today.”

She looks around the group, trying to hype everyone up. Jinwoo manages a small smile, but they don’t quite reach his eyes before they go back to you, and Hae-in doesn’t have to guess why. Liu’s eyes betray nothing as they watch Jinwoo closely, before he feels Hae-in’s stare on him and he gives her a small nod. You – bless your soul – smile brightly at her in support, seemingly oblivious to your other guests. Hae-in could tell from the strained way you were trying to ignore them that you were struggling just as much if not more than her. 

“What’s on the agenda?” you grin in excitement. Hae-in mirrors your expression – if only to forget about the two men as well – before it falters for a second.

“Oh, uh, well…” Hae-in looks to Jinwoo for help, rather unsure as well where they were heading off first. After all, he knew you best, right? He’s taken back to your first outing. Back then, he wanted nothing more than to guide you into forgetting who you thought he was. Now…

This could be a chance. Ashborn’s voice suddenly rings in his ears, urgent and desperate as he felt.

For what…?

Ashborn sounded so mortal, and that was what scared Jinwoo the most. 

To make things right. If anything, a final attempt to. 

“We can look for a cafe to stay at again,” Jinwoo tries to smile brighter, eyes burning slightly purple. Jinwoo almost missed it, but for a split second, he saw your eyes flash with a glimmer as you stared at him. It only fueled him to continue. “Let’s not go to our usual spot. Maybe something new? Hunter Liu can pick one out. Hae-in can tell him which cafes have good desserts. Of course, Hunter Liu knows her favorite desserts, right? After all, he knows her best.”

Hae-in sucks in a breath, closing her eyes for a second like everything she was hearing was physically painful. But before the others could notice her reaction, she turns to Liu with a small – albeit wobbly – smile. “There’s a small map over there that details the best food and cafe stalls surrounding the park. Would you like to check it out?”

Liu gives Jinwoo one last once over before he gives you a small smile and nods to Hae-in. They move forward, expecting everyone to head over to the same direction.

“Wait,” Jinwoo grabs your wrist and almost immediately, his head and hearts are filled with warmth as they come into contact with you. He clears his throat and forces himself to focus. “Can we chat for a bit?”

You gape at him and for a second he’s dejected when you turn to where Liu and Hae-in slowly head off to, getting farther and farther away. But then you look back at him and he sees the familiar swirl of divinity in them. You blink, and they settle amongst the regular color of your mortal eyes. You give him a small smile before nodding. 

He gently leads you to the closest open area he could find on a park map. However, when the both of you arrive, his hearts drop. The last time he was here, he had teleported to get there, so there was no time to figure out the route. But now he felt himself getting sick at the memory. And with a side glance from you, it was clear you were thinking of the same thing.

You’re back at the park bench. Hell.

“Well, this is certainly… a place. I promise I didn’t mean to bring you here.” Jinwoo laughs and almost immediately, you share it with him. Your voice sounds like a choir to him, not a note of it out of place for his ears. It felt just right, perfect even, as everything when it came to you. He sighs out one more laugh before he raises his head and meets your eyes. You’re glowing again. “How have you been?”

“You pulled me aside to ask me that?” You laugh and all Jinwoo could think was how this is how things should have been from the very beginning. “I should be the one asking you that since you’ve been feeling off since we last met at the gala. I was really worried, you know! And you even started coughing earlier. Make sure to tell me if you feel off, okay? I’ll give you a discount when I heal you.”

“Ah, well, don’t worry about it,” he grins again. He felt like he was his old self again – young and an optimism that never seemed to go away. A voice at the back of his head was telling him that this wasn’t right, but just as Ashborn said, it felt so natural, so lovely, that he found himself lost in the ecstasy of it. “I… just realized we haven’t had a proper conversation ever since you got back and I thought we could have one right now, if it’s cool with you.”

You clap your hands together in apology and bow deeply. “I’m really, really sorry, Jinwoo! I didn’t mean to make you guys feel like I ghosted you. I promise we’ll hang out more in the following days! I’ve just been busy showing Zhigang around and introducing him to some acquaintances, so…”

Maybe the look on his face was too telling, but your voice carries on and drifts away, smile fading to something softer. You don’t continue what you were about to say and let the silence wash over the both of you. You look around and Jinwoo takes a moment to admire your features. The setting sun illuminates you, giving you an otherworldly glow. It was close to the divine glow that sometimes overtakes you, but this feels warmer. More welcome. For what feels like the first time, you are not the one from the past world, but just yourself. And it made Jinwoo’s face and chest feel so, so warm. Your eyes are aglow with the setting sun. 

The hill of flowers has never looked so beautiful.

“We missed you.”

The words that he thought were just at the tip of his tongue come out softly. He flinches, not meaning to blurt out how he was really feeling. Hell, what did he do?

“I mean,” he lets out a sheepish laugh, trying to cover his horror. “Me and Hae-in. We really missed you, you know?”

You blink before letting out a small grin. “Yeah, yeah…I missed you guys a lot, too. So much…”

A silence passes over the both of you once more. He looks around and his eyes land on the park bench beside you both and he feels a shiver run down his spine. It was probably wrong that he brought you here, seeing that bench felt like a harbinger. 

Finally he clears his throat. “Hey, so, about what I needed to tell you… Something really important.”

He knows he’s not imagining it when he sees it again – there’s a soft glimmer in your eyes, but you squeeze your eyes shut and look away. Almost on instinct. He pauses. Why was he hesitating now?

He wanted to tell you – that man was the one who killed you in a past life. 

I have no idea how he found you, beloved, but don’t be fooled by him. Do not trust him. He does not have your best intentions at heart. He will hurt you once more. As a monarch that craves chaos, he will certainly do it aga-

You purse your lips before taking a deep breath. “Jinwoo… I think I already know.”

“What do you mean by… you already know?” Was he that horrible at keeping secrets?

You let out a sad – bittersweet – laugh that it almost felt scathing. But not for him. “I told you before, right? You may not be him, but I would still know you, even a little bit. I come back and you and Hae-in still aren’t… and I noticed how she’s been acting recently. And there’s the way you and Zhigang talk… Can you tell me if I’m imagining it? Do you…?”

Oh. Oh gods. That was one of the things he didn’t want you to figure out, but somehow it was the most obvious one? He felt like he was sinking into the ground and he really did hope the earth would swallow him whole. He should have known that if it was obvious to Hae-in then it wouldn’t be too far off for you. Hell, now what?

Jinwoo can feel Ashborn squeeze his heart. He already knows what the other wants to say, but he breathes deep and holds him down. 

Well, if he was honest… Didn’t he want the same thing? They were two different beings, but sometimes they shared similarities in thoughts and ideas. His voice comes out in a whisper. “...Which answer will you want?”

The passing breeze felt so cold, but your reaction felt colder. You squeezed your eyes shut, and Jinwoo felt like both his hearts stopped, the expression on your face so familiar he could almost see it lit up by a red sky. Pained. He doesn’t know who that word applied to more between the two of you at this very moment. You manage a strangled smile as you raise your eyes back to him again, eyes glittering with unshed tears and “You’re being really unfair right now, you know?”

Monarchs and Sovereigns above, of course he knew that. How could he not when you’re right in front of him and after all that’s changed between you both over the time, he still finds himself here – making you cry.

“Why now?” you laugh, pressing the heels of your palms to your eyes. Although he wanted to believe otherwise, were you trying to erase him from in front of you? Did you ever think of a hill of flowers before you went back to Korea and saw him again?

“I know. I know that it’s wrong. And I’m so sorry.” he swallows and tries to push through. This was going to hurt. But he needed to get this off his chest – the two hearts inside him were praying for the best. “I just– This isn’t about Ashborn anymore, I swear it. The time I’ve spent with you are some of the best I’ve had. I’ll even be bold to say they’re my favorite. No matter how few they are, but that’s just how much I treasured them.”

“Jinwoo…” you laugh sadly, and when you raise your head to him for a second, your eyes are shifting waters of divinity and mortality. When your voice comes out again,  “I told you before, right? Don’t force yourself. Maybe the heart inside you is just forcing you like mine-”

“No. It’s not like that. I know that.” Jinwoo wouldn’t lie. It hurt him a bit. He understands where you were coming from. For so long, he felt like he was being dictated by Ashborn’s feelings for you. But no. He knows it more than ever. “I could lose the heart that gave me my abilities right now. I could go back to being an E Rank hunter. I would still find you.”

You look up at him and for a second, the mortality wins and he almost reaches out to you again. But like lightning, the divinity hits you like a flash and you force yourself to step back from him. You’re breathing heavily, trying to reign in your past self and Jinwoo could only feel turmoil.

He wants to bring you back to the present just like he did back then, but would you even hear his voice? Or would you hear Ashborn? Which one would turn to him 

“But Jinwoo… Zhigang… I…?” you mutter it in between unsteady laughter.  

It hurt, because he knew you were right. This was wrong. This was unfair. And yet, and yet. Jinwoo manages a strangled laugh. Why did he keep talking? What was he trying to achieve? His chest hurts so much, but he knew it was nothing compared to you. So why did he keep hurting you like this? 

Ashborn was wrong. This wasn’t going to fix things at all. But Jinwoo knew – maybe because they’ve been entwined so deeply now, in body and love for you – that Ashborn was clinging to the smallest of chance that they’d take you away from Liu. Desperate to save you from a similar fate. Desperate to save you from the past and join you in the future.

He promised you forever in another life, didn’t he? 

“Can I just know? Did you… the you in the present… feel anything for me, too? At least a little bit?”

“I…” But you don’t get to finish, just staring at him hopelessly. Jinwoo watches as your eyes shift from divinity to mortality, from past to present, to uncertainty and more doubt. Maybe realizing he could see the confusion as clear as day on your face, you press your hands over your eyes again, willing to keep your feelings at bay.

He wants to reach out, and for a second he found it so funny. Back then, he was always the one who wanted to pull away, always told you not to get too close, but now… 

Jinwoo watches as tears slowly spill from past your hands and down your cheeks. He hesitantly reaches out to brush them away, give comfort however you need that would right every wrong he’s ever done to you. 

However, before he can say or do anything more, someone stands behind you. Jinwoo straightens up and curses at himself for not noticing sooner, too lost in the moment, but he’s unable to take a step forward, frozen. An enraged glare pins him in place, and for just a moment once more, he felt like he was an E Rank hunter again, unable to do anything more than watch as he stood before something more than he could ever be, something he could not match, despite knowing otherwise.

Liu Zhigang holds a hand over your eyes, as if shielding you from a potential threat. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you flush against his chest and farther away from Jinwoo, even if it was just a few steps away. Liu doesn’t look away even once, controlled rage all over his face as he slowly turns his body to push you behind him in protection. Jinwoo’s hearts were hammering in his ears – eyes shifting from the glare of an angered National Level hunter and, from what he could see of you behind your lover, the woman he loved clinging to his back in desperation.

“Hunter Sung,” Liu’s voice is deathly quiet but could be heard clear as day even in the vast open space. It seemed to command the very air. “Did you just make my lover cry?”

Jinwoo was starting to think that just being in your presence made him ten times more stupid. He felt like he always lost the idea to think, always at a loss for words. He felt it now more than ever.

Because how was he going to deny that when there you were right behind Liu, gasping as you cried and clutching the back of his shirt. To other people, it might have looked like you were over exaggerating in your reaction or that he had done more than just admit his feelings for you.

Liu reaches out behind him and one of his sheathed swords appears behind him. He grips at the hilt of it and in a split second, your hands hold down his wrist, Hae-in takes a defensive stance, ready to break up the ensuing fight and Jinwoo’s daggers are in his hands. The shadows beneath the monarch grow restless.

“Zhigang,” you choke out. “Stop, don’t, please.”

“Rìluò, don’t tell me to stop when this bastard can’t seem to treat you like a proper friend.” Liu makes the words out through gritted teeth, the grip on his sword tightening. 

That seemed to hit you both at the same time as you and Jinwoo flinched. It held more weight than one. Liu was right, Jinwoo had been acting out too much the moment he saw you again. And despite your efforts, the past you kept rearing her head, drawn to the familiar presence of her past lover in his vessel. For yourself… Jinwoo wasn’t too sure if it was the guilt of how it must have all looked like to Liu or…?

“What kind of friend makes you sob like that, Rìluò? If this is his version of friendship, not really sorry to say, but I don’t want it for you. You don’t deserve this.”

You swallow, and you shift on your feet. Jinwoo thinks you’re slightly swaying. “…Zhigang, please, can we go back home for no-?” 

You don’t get to finish. Because in the next second, Jinwoo almost seems to watch in slow motion as your grip on Liu’s wrist loosens. You’re falling. The glimmer in your eyes disappears, and so does the mortality as they grow dull, your whole body shutting down. He yells out to a shadow – any of them, desperate, oh so desperate – and Beru comes out before he can even finish. The shadow ant catches you before you hit the ground.

Liu turns around in a flurry and takes you from the shadow’s arms before he could react. For a second, Jinwoo felt Beru’s fury spike, angered at the hunter and he raised one of his arms to strike. Jinwoo’s eyes flash a brilliant purple.

DON’T.

But My King-!

I said don’t, Jinwoo swallows as he watches Liu cradle an unconscious you in his arms, not even bothering to look at the shadow ant in front of him, ready to strike. Jinwoo thinks of a red sky and health potions that look like blood and so much desperation coursing in his veins as he holds your body. He doesn’t have to see the look on Liu’s eyes to know, he can see the tension in his shoulders and the shuddering breathing as he made sure. We’ll… we’ll make things worse. Come back here. You did well. You… did enough. 

Hae-in comes closer and helps check your vitals while Jinwoo stays rooted to the spot, waiting with bated breath as your lover and friend go over your state. 

“She’s fine,” for what felt like an eternity, Hae-in stands, but she bites her bottom lip and swallows hard as she turns to Jinwoo. “But it’s better to send her to a hospital to make sure.”

“Is this what you wanted?” Liu’s voice is deadpan, but Jinwoo felt the hit to the face all the same. He can’t summon the urge to say anything more hostile. Even if you were knocked out, it felt like you’d hear and it would hurt you more than it would actually affect Liu.

“...Hunter Liu, take her somewhere far away from me. Please.” Jinwoo’s voice is devoid of emotion.

“I don’t need to hear that from you,” Liu picks you up effortlessly, and with a last withering glare at Jinwoo, eyes burning a terrifying gold – “I should have killed you the first time.”

Hae-in swallows before letting out a small whisper. “I want to make sure she’s fine. I’ll go with you.”

Jinwoo doesn’t need the player system to know that a threat that could kill him was meters from him. A part of him tells himself that maybe it would be for the best to let Liu go through with it, but the hunter leaves without another word with you in his arms. Hae-in rests a hand over Jinwoo’s shoulder for a second, but she’s unable to say anything more, and she jogs to catch up with Liu.

He stays rooted to the spot for a moment more. Right here was where he was talking to you just moments before. And there was where you lost consciousness, unable to fight your past self. Jinwoo sits on the bench. And on this bench…

Is it finally over for us…? Jinwoo asks. But Ashborn neither agrees or disagrees. Neither of them wanted to know the answer.

=O=O=O=O=O=O=

How many times has Jinwoo been to this park in his life? 

Numerous. He’s been here countless times with his family when he was younger, running around with Jinah with reckless endeavor. Even as he grew older, they had occasional picnics, even if it was just him and his sister. And then he started working out here when he was first made a player. And then he came and went again after he used the Cup of Reincarnation. The most recent ones that come to mind were his picnic with his family and they invited Hae-in to join them. That day was… he thought it might have been the beginning of the end, in a sense. He had thrown you away then, and came crawling back to you a year later. Breaking your heart again in a different way. 

And now here he was again with Liu Zhigang. The hunter had asked – ordered, better said – that Jinwoo meet him in the park in a big enough clearing. Jinwoo immediately knew where he was talking about – the hidden spot of a park bench with the perfect view of the sunset. He should get that park bench removed someday. No one was going to miss it, definitely not him. 

Wasn’t sitting on the bench, however. He was standing slightly farther away, quietly staring into the horizon. He was dressed in his hunter attire, swords carefully sheathed behind him. Jinwoo doesn’t bother preparing his own daggers, or telling his soldiers to be ready.   

Liu insisted on meeting around sundown. 

Jinwoo stands a safe distance beside Liu. Safe for him or the National Level hunter, he wasn’t quite sure. For a moment, he questions if he would win, even with Ashborn’s help, with the heavy guilt weighing down on him, or would he just let it all happen. “How… is she?”

“Fine, although that’s no thanks to you,” Liu snaps back almost immediately, like he knew what the first thing Jinwoo was going to say. 

There’s a pause, and when Liu speaks again, he sounds far away. Reliving a memory that was neither pleasant nor painful. It sounded like a fact he just remembered. “She hates watching the sun set, did you know?”

Jinwoo pauses. “I heard her mention once that she doesn’t watch it, but…”

The answer seems to make Liu angry because he inhales sharply and gives Jinwoo a judgmental glare from his peripheral vision. “...I see.”

A tension filled silence passed between the two of them, too many words that remain unspoken, if only for the sake of keeping things civil enough to see this conversation through. Finally, the glare in Liu’s face passes and something comes over him. He takes a breath in, as if steadying himself, before he passes a hand over his face. Finally he faces Jinwoo. 

“I wish to ask you for a favor.”

“Haven’t asked for enough, I see,” Jinwoo manages a small self-deprecating laugh, feeling faint. He hasn’t had a reasonable amount of sleep ever since that talk with you. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the way you cried, your body on the floor. He imagines himself holding your unconscious body again like he was in the red gate and he feels the bile rise to his throat. “I’m the last person you need that from.”

Liu smirks mockingly. “Don’t worry. I have a feeling this will be the last time.”

Jinwoo manages a scoff. “We’ll see. From past experience your favors aren’t exactly favorable for everyone involved, but let’s hear it.”

Liu pauses, looking at the sunset before turning back to Jinwoo. “I want to ask for your permission. I wish for your full blessing to take care of Rìluò, to bring her with me to China.” 

Jinwoo blinks, unsure if he heard wrong. But Liu doesn’t break into that lazy grin or even laugh at his face mockingly. He looks at him straight in the eye, and to his surprise, there is no glimmer in his eyes that comes when he talks about you or the burning suns when he stands as China’s hero. 

Mortal. Just completely mortal.

And unguarded.  

Jinwoo can’t help but scoff incredulously. “That’s the most idiotic request I’ve heard from you. She’s her own person. As if I have a say in where she wants to-”

“I’m not asking you.” 

Jinwoo frowns, his temper rising. He can only have so much patience with the man who continues to challenge it. But he tries to will it down. “So is this another order from a National Level Hunter disguised as a-”

“Shut up,” And suddenly, it felt like Liu wasn’t looking at him. He was looking through him. “I’m not asking you. I’m asking that heart that continues to beat inside you.” 

The park is eerily quiet. Jinwoo’s rage fizzles out of him, at a complete loss for words. 

“Ashborn… that’s your name, isn’t it?” Liu continues, voice resolute and almost seeming to echo in the open space just like before. The very air crackled with it. It definitely felt like it was ringing in Jinwoo’s ears, and all the way to the soul that rests within him. He was suddenly so aware that he was a Vessel of something very dangerous. “What do you say?”

Jinwoo didn’t even have any time to react. Before he knew it, he was thrown into the back of his consciousness. The whole park is overtaken by darkness, the sunset disappearing in a cloak of black, locking him and Liu into a separate dimension. He can feel how the strongest of his army are summoned around him -- Igris and Iron with their weapons drawn, Beru more than ready to strike, even Bellion’s commanding aura can be felt from his back. Ashborn had complete control of his body at that very moment, and for once, Jinwoo was taken aback by how easily the original Shadow Monarch had access to it. He’s reminded of a previous conversation: Jinwoo may own the body, but as Ashborn said: not completely. Jinwoo, no, Ashborn takes quick steps towards Liu and grips on to his collar, almost dragging him forward. His knuckles are blemished white, but for a split second, Jinwoo could have sworn it was a hand encased in black armor.

“I must have misheard you, Reincarnated Monarch… Murderer of My Beloved. Maybe your mortality has affected your memories and you don’t remember your greatest sin, so depending on what you say next, I may spare enough of you to still resemble something that can be called human.”

Despite Ashborn’s menacing aura, Liu stands his ground. Golden eyes meet blazing purple without looking away, if anything, they seem to burn brighter, trying to overpower him. Jinwoo can make out familiar glittering, and it only fuels Ashborn’s rage to roaring heights. His grip on Liu’s collar tightens and he can hear his shadows grow restless behind him.

“It hurts my pride to admit, but I don’t believe I can win against an actual monarch, or whatever you are. Sorry for not living up to your expectations, but if it helps my case, I’m not what you call a reincarnated monarch, or any kind of reincarnation. I’m very much human.” 

Ashborn frowns and Jinwoo feels the doubt that courses between the two of them. That’s impossible. They know what they saw whenever his hands found the wound on your back, or the way he had the same glowing eyes of the monarch you had seen before you eventually passed. Isn’t this conversation damning proof enough? That he had known about Ashborn before anyone besides you did?

Ashborn scoffs. “Explain yourself. I implore you to make it quick before I decide your words are meaningless to me and the shadows lose their patience."  

“I’m my own person, I know that for a fact.”

“And yet you call my name? Somehow, you simply knew of my existence beforehand? I refuse to believe My Beloved has told you anything about me.” 

Liu mouths Ashborn’s name for you, and for a second he looks away with a tick of his mouth in the corners. Ashborn harshly shakes him once and Liu looks back to him. He almost looks bored. “Listen to me. Memories, that’s all they are. I am not whoever you think I am, and I certainly didn’t murder her. The very idea makes me sick. I’d rather kill myself before I even get a mile closer to her with those intentions.”

“I’d be happy to fulfill that wish of yours.” Jinwoo hears the shadows step closer. 

“Yeah, I bet,” Liu mutters. “But if you even care a fraction for her, then listen to me first. Put the idea of me killing her on the side, just for a moment. Presently, she’s alive, am I right?”

Ashborn pauses, the grip he has on Liu loosening only for a moment before he tightens it again. “As my vessel has said, we have no hold on whether she stays or goes, no matter if we wish to.”

No matter if we begged her to reconsider. She is a wild thing, like a dandelion carried by the wind.

Fleeting, ever so sadly so.

“Maybe not for you, but that’s not the same for her.” Liu frowns, and for a second it’s like he wasn’t being held by the collar by a monarch.

Jinwoo’s heartbeat is in his throat. Ashborn laughs scornfully. “You doubt her love for you? That’s not our concern. That is a failing on your part.”

“Ha. I don’t doubt it, and if you weren’t so angry right now, you wouldn’t either. She’s not like that, and you know it’s true if you’re fighting so hard for her,” Liu laughs once, but it’s empty. “But that’s besides the point. There’s something inside of her that continues to love you.”

Ashborn and Jinwoo pause, and for a second, they sense hope growing within them like a weed. “Forgive me, but I don’t see why I’m meant to see that as something I should stop.”

“Don’t see it, huh? Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t,” Liu clicks his tongue. Before Ashborn could react, Liu unsheathes one of his blades and strikes. He misses, of course, Jinwoo and Ashborn’s body disappearing into shadow. Liu stands a way off as the monarch materializes, glaring at the hunter. “Of course you wouldn’t see it as a bad thing. But that’s not the same for her.”  

“I’m asking the both of you to stay away from her.” To Jinwoo’s surprise, Liu sheaths his sword once more. Jinwoo suddenly feels like Liu is staring past Ashborn and right at him. But it’s almost impossible to think about when Ashborn’s anger was coming back in full force. Even Jinwoo was unable to comprehend what he was asking. “Hunter Sung, you saw what it does to her, right? Another her keeps trying to fight back. You may say that the other one has good intentions, that she is as kind and as lovely as the Rìluò I know, just trying to get a share of life. But she’s hurting Rìluò, isn’t she? I don’t know how you and Ashborn work, but I don’t think it’s the same for her. I don’t think she can live as both at the same time.”

Jinwoo wants to fight back, to retort something. They’ll teach you how to control it again. They’ll figure out a way where you can live peacefully with the past you that has survived all this time. You’ll be fine, just as you did back when you were friends. 

You’ll be fine.

But he thinks of the way that the glimmer overtakes your eyes each time and wonders – what if it completely stays? Then what?   

“You taught her, right? You’re the one who taught her how to control it. I know you did. Are you going to throw all of that down the drain just to keep her beside you, even if it means losing the one in the present?” Liu’s voice raises ever so slightly, like he knew he was getting through to Jinwoo. Ashborn takes a step closer, but Liu doesn’t bother stepping back. His face is resolute. “If she keeps seeing you while clinging to the past, there will come a time she won’t see you, Hunter Sung. You know this.”

The unseen bench is a harbinger, still. Jinwoo may not see it right now, but its presence outside this dimension lingers. He remembers sitting there with you, and how without a second thought – 

You almost called him Ashborn. 

You knew his name by then, meeting him for the first time in the Hunter’s Association. And still, you called out for someone else.

He understood it made Ashborn happy. But you and him are in the present, and Ashborn is simply a being that resides within him now. Is that what he wanted? A version of you that would only cling to him because of a memory of forgotten days? Will you one day wake up and call on Ashborn instead of his name and forget every memory he’s built with you?

Jinwoo opens his mouth to answer – he needs to say something, anything – but his voice doesn’t work.

“And if we… I… refuse?” Jinwoo wants to shut him out at this very moment, but he realizes he doesn’t have to. Jinwoo feels the shadows behind him slowly go back to the abyss. Ashborn’s voice is uncharacteristically soft, but still on edge.

Liu’s hand reaches for his swords again. “Maybe I don’t stand a chance against a monarch, but I don’t mind trying. Either I convince you or I die attempting.”

“Stupid enough to admit you’re weak, too proud to try anyway. And you think you can stand beside her? The chances of you staying alive long enough to convince me first are slim to none.” Ashborn laughs sarcastically.

“Well. If I do die, she’ll know.” Liu shrugs

“So that’s how you plan to win? Showing her that I am a monster who murders her mortal lover?” Ashborn glares at him.

“I don’t think she’ll see you as a monster. I don’t think she’s capable of that. Maybe she’ll think I’m more of one for fighting with you. But if I do die, I know the Rìluò I know will end up staying away from you. So I’ll lose, and the idea is unconventional and cruel, but I still get what I want for her.”

There’s a pause where a sinking feeling crawls at the back of the monarch’s spine.

But also what came with it was insurmountable relief. 

“...You are… not him? You are not a reincarnated monarch like her.”

Liu blinks in surprise. “Not my point on this side of the conversation, but no, I’m not. What made you realize?”

“Monarchs in this day and age know they do not stand a chance against me. They have been weakened, to some degree. And yet if your word is to be believed… you will try for her. That is not something those heartless beings would do. It will hurt me, yes, but not if it meant giving their lives away.”

“If it’s Rìluò, then I don’t mind,” Liu gives a half hearted shrug, and then the lazy smile is back, his head lost in a memory. Jinwoo doesn’t have to guess what he’s thinking about. “I would’ve kicked the bucket a while back anyway. Came back a couple of times thanks to her. I owe her for that and much more.”

“...I see…”

It’s quiet, suffocatingly so. The darkness and the lack of a reply from both parties ended up making things stifling. Finally, Jinwoo feels himself take back the body, Ashborn silently handing over control. The darkness that surrounds the both of them slowly ebbs away, and what remains is a moonless night sky.

“Let me know what you think. Rìluò’s still at the hospital. They’re running some tests just to make sure she’s fine,” Liu breathes out a sigh. “You… should go see her when you can. Whichever decision the both of you make. We left on bad terms in front of her, after all. I don’t want her to feel it was all her fault.”

Without waiting for an answer, Liu walks away. 

Jinwoo stares at the horizon, his head and hearts as silent as a grave. There was only a single thought in Jinwoo’s mind, however.

Igris.

In a flash, the shadow knight appears and slashes at the bench behind him. The crack and splinter of wood echoes among the trees. And then all is quiet again. But it does nothing to calm the hammering in Jinwoo’s ears.

That bench was nothing but trouble. Ashborn agrees. 

=O=O=O=O=O=O=

“Thanks for everything, Jinwoo.” 

The end comes regardless, that is what Jinwoo has come to realize.

You were leaving. You were finally going. He wanted to hold you back. To think things through.

If he pulls you to his chest, will that help? He’ll pull you to his chest and you will hear him, won’t you? You will know that he is still there, and you’ll stay with them?

Ashborn whispers something, so softly Jinwoo thought he misheard. So softly he prayed he misheard.

She will be late for her departure. It’s time. 

He bites the inside of his cheek, but offers you a small smile. Hae-in smiles through tears and gives you one more lingering hug. Liu comes up from behind you, but for once Jinwoo doesn’t even bother glaring holes into him. He felt… exhausted, in a sense. He continued to look at you, burning the memory of you into his mind because – without you knowing, and maybe you never will know – it will be his last time having a memory of you that is purely his, and not Ashborn’s.   

He takes a step back and you turn around. Liu holds out a hand that you readily take into your own. Gold eyes find dull purple eyes and give them a single nod. Was he still in control of the body? It certainly felt like not. He’s not strong enough to watch the plane leave, so he turns around with all intention to leave and Hae-in doesn’t stop him.

Was Ashborn watching? He felt like he was falling into a deep slumber – until he saw something familiar. Something no longer their’s. Something they felt like they were intruding upon.

The hill of flowers is quiet. Jinwoo just noticed the flowers are all purple, splattered with red and gold. He thinks he’s never hated that hill more until now, but he sits down and leans against the large tree anyway. The sky glows red with a setting sun. He waits for a familiar figure, but no one comes. Ashborn closes his eyes. 

Just once more.

It’s quiet, all for the passing breeze stirring the grass and leaves awake. And then, they hear it. 

The grass rustles as someone carefully steps closer. They think they’re imagining it, so they don’t make a move. They think it’s too good to be true, so they don’t open their eyes. Whoever it is, they stop short, right next to them and pause. Then slowly, the monarch hears someone sit down, feel their heat right next to them. The newcomer does not say anything.

Ashborn doesn’t open his eyes, and neither does Jinwoo. 

They don’t watch the sun set. They don’t think they’re strong enough to. 

Just once more, they think.

If you feel like listening/watching me brainstorm the fic or just see my first draft of it, here's a video I recorded for it. Use it as a Write With Me if you feel like it - it's got typing sounds, music and, of course, my yapping:

✨ Masterlist ✨ KOFI/Commissions

______________________________________________________________

In his office, your grandfather, the great alpha chairman Go Gunhee stood in front of you with his arms crossed. His face was twisted in a grimace with a furrowed brow. His cedarwood scent had a burnt smell to it. He had called you earlier in the day for you to come to the Hunter’s Association for a meeting. The stress you could hear in his tone of voice indicated that something was up so you hurried to get ready and left to see what your grandfather needed from you. You were an S-rank healer that was one of the first to awaken similar to your grandfather. You had awakened in America, but was counted among Korea’s S-rank hunters due to you moving back to where you were born and raised. You recently gained more prominence worldwide after the completion of the Jeju raid when the world witnessed how incredible of a healer you were where more would have died without you and your now deceased, beloved healer sunbae Min Byung-Gu.

“Thank you for coming to see me here, my dear. This couldn’t wait until I came home,” your grandfather began with you waiting patiently as you watched him struggle with whatever he needed to tell you, “I was having an online meeting with various Hunter association chairmans across the world with the national hunters in attendance, and we agreed after the number of hunter losses recently suffered around the world that we needed to do something about it.” He stopped again, looking pained. He didn’t want to lose you, but it looks like he’s being forced to. This wasn’t what he imagined for you at all. Gunhee supported you trying to be with Hunter Sung, but with the recent revelation that he and Hunter Cha were together, Gunhee knew you were still smarting from it. 

“And this something is?” you questioned after he didn’t speak after a couple of minutes.

“We would like to start a project that would pair high ranking alphas with other high ranking omegas with the idea they’ll be compatible enough to mate and bear pups to help replenish the hunter population as research has been coming out that awakened alphas and omegas will have pups around their parents’ rankings. The goal is to have more hunter families. Korea was chosen to have only one omega and one alpha representative while all national hunters have to participate as well besides their nation’s selected representatives. You were chosen as Korea’s omega representative while Hunter Choi is going as Korea’s alpha representative.” Gunhee finally got it out. Mating was serious as once you’re mates, you’re mates for life and would have no other unless your mate dies. 

You were stunned. Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly before you finally blurted out, “Grandpa, with all due respect, but what the fuck!?” Was that why Jinchul looked rather sick when he led you through the halls to bring you to your grandfather?

He ignored your swearing. While he’d normally scold you for it, he understood how screwed up this whole situation was. He continued, “You were chosen specifically by Hunter Reed as the omega he wanted. He refused to go along with the experiment if it wasn’t you with him.” And that was putting it mildly. 

“Christopher Reed wants to have me as his mate and be the father of my pups?” you questioned incredulously. After all these years, he was back and he wanted you. You couldn’t believe it. Your omega was surprisingly quiet at that revelation since you remembered how distraught the both of you were when you lost contact with Reed. You thought she’d be going off by now as she has been recently with things having gone wrong in both your opinions. 

You were currently trying to nurse your own very recent broken heart as you had feelings for Sung Jinwoo but he and Cha Hae-In came out as being in a relationship recently. You had spent the last three years loving Jinwoo, having met him shortly after moving back to Korea becoming friends when the gates opened to be with your grandfather after your parents died saving you in the US during a dungeon outbreak. It hurt that Jinwoo led you on during that time by asking you to wait for him as he felt unworthy to be with you when he was an E-rank and wanted to focus on his family, which you could understand, and agreed that once Jinah was in college the both of you could try, but after he met Hunter Cha after his reawakening, he changed his attitude towards you. Your omega hissed angry at the thought of those two, your lavender scent turning burnt. Alpha wouldn’t have wasted our time, your omega continued hissing. You wasted all those years on him, after helping him and being by his side through so many things, so maybe this was the universe’s way of saying this was your chance. You wanted to avoid both alphas in any way you could, and you were just given the opportunity to reunite with an alpha who you thought was your forever once upon a time, and it looked like you might get your teenaged wish after all. It seems like your omega still recognized Christopher as your alpha, so that helped a lot for you in accepting him despite the less-than-ideal circumstances. 

You were in your mid-20s, 26 to be exact. Normally, omegas by this point were searching for an alpha for themselves and vice versa with most settling down around their early 30s. There’s the occasional non-traditional pairings of alpha with another alpha such as Sung and Cha while there’s omega with another omega like Min and his wife had been before he died on the Jeju raid. Betas tended to want to be paired only among themselves and it’s highly unusual for them to pair with either an alpha or an omega.

“My dear, have you met Hunter Reed before? He named you without hesitation.” Gunhee eyed you carefully. He had been surprised when Reed immediately brought up your name as wanting you when asked if there was any omega the national hunters wanted to see if they were compatible with, even mentioning you as his granddaughter so your identity couldn’t be mistaken for any other omega named (y/n). He was even more surprised, horrified even, when Reed, with his alpha almost having taken over, threatened to kill any omega paired up with him that wasn’t you, and he’d most definitely kill the alpha you ended up with if it wasn’t him. 

You stood there for a moment, thinking. In a way, you didn’t know how to break the news to your grandfather that you did know Christopher as it was a very complicated relationship since you lost contact with him a couple of years after you left. You’d try anyway. “I actually do know him...” Gunhee gestured for you to go on needing to know. “You know how I spent some time in the US when I was younger with mom and dad helping take care of my grandma? Even going to school there for three years before we came back not long after the gates opened? He was my neighbor.” You remembered Reed, some years older than you, both teenagers who spent a lot of time together as the only other teenagers in their suburban neighborhood that could stand each other. Your memories slowly returned as you think about things that you haven’t thought about in years. “I wasn’t expecting him to remember me since after becoming a national hunter, we stopped talking to each other as he began to raid more and I was trying to resettle in Korea and deal with mourning my parents. I mean, we hung out a lot during those three years when I was in the US, but still…” 

“He did more than remember you,” Gunhee stated sourly, his scent turning even more burnt, thinking about the outright threats he gave to ensure you’d be his omega. Even the other national hunters were disturbed at Reed’s behavior, having seen how close to the surface his alpha had been, but America gave in and since Korea was participating in the experiment, you were automatically chosen as Korea’s omega representative. Unfortunately, with Korea having suffered major losses in the last few years because of the multiple Jeju raids, Gunhee, for the good of his country, was being forced to give up his only grandchild and Hunter Choi to ensure good relations with other countries. While whoever ended up as Choi’s omega would be coming to live with him in Korea, you were being sent off to America to be with Reed. “What was your relationship with him like?" He was worried about you and hopefully would gain some reassurance from whatever you were about to say. He felt like he was tossing you to an unstable wolf and felt as sick as Jinchul looked after the online conference. Reed’s alpha had surfaced with a vengeance during the call. While the other national hunters didn’t look happy at being forced to participate, it was Reed’s reaction that gave everyone a pause especially as he was the only one to request who his omega would be. The alpha who hated being around people actually wanting an omega with him? They all wondered who you were to him.

Unfortunately for your grandfather, you knew that Christopher was unhinged as he hadn’t exactly hid it when you were teenagers, so you got used to it as your omega loved his alpha spoiling the two of you if you behaved for him and chasing away other potential suitors even if it meant you’d have to keep patching him up after he got into another fight to ward off other alphas from you especially when you were in pre-heat. Back then, his possessiveness and overprotectiveness over you guaranteed that you focused all your attention onto him, he even carefully taught you how to become the omega he wanted, and since you wanted to be a good omega for him, you didn’t fight back against his attitude towards you. 

”Hmm…I would say that back then, he was my personal guard dog so to speak.” You tapped your pointer finger on your chin repeatedly. “We got along really well. He’d walk me to school every morning since we attended the same school. After school, it was always him and I where he would either take me somewhere or take me back home. He would even bring me to go watch his baseball games if he had any going on at the time before bringing me home. He would take me out every Saturday since mom and dad wanted some alone time after helping to take care of grandma during the week as the weekends had them dropping grandma off at a community facility so she could interact with others, and Christopher was always more than happy being with me so we’d go on our own dates. We, uh, fooled around together…a lot the last year I was there,” you admitted to Gunhee who immediately sent you a reproachful look. Reed was the one to be with you for your heats when they first started when you were 16 years old, and you being there for his ruts, at the time, and you haven’t taken another alpha since, choosing to spend your heats alone as your omega wouldn’t allow any alpha near you during those vulnerable times. Your omega had her reservations about Sung and was proven right, which was the only thing that kept you from an omega drop and instead just got extremely angry and hurt instead. Perhaps your omega was waiting for Christopher all along which was why you had been willing to wait for Sung, putting it off until either Sung fully committed to you or when Christopher came to claim you. 

You coughed once looking sheepish and continued, “He was very sweet to me, like he would buy me what I wanted even if he had to save some money for it, and took me wherever I wanted to go, especially after he got a car. Even back then, Christopher already didn’t like most people, and he especially hated when other alphas would talk to me around him since after we, yeah...” you trailed off. Eventually, life had gotten the best of both of you with you focusing on settling into Korea and being busy with your life since you started working under your grandfather as a healer and him raiding more as more responsibility was thrown onto him with the pressure of being a national hunter. You didn’t think you’d end up here, years later, about to be set up with him as a mate because he wanted you to be that person for him. Guess he really took that promise to make you his omega seriously. You thought nothing of it after a couple years since you stopped talking and did your best to forget because it was painful for you to remember being torn from him. But quietly, you were relieved at the very least since you knew the alpha you were being set up with and that made it more bearable. You do remember Reed clearer now, and you knew he was a handsome and powerful alpha who was capable of taking care of you as he’s shown before. Your omega was purring at the knowledge that Reed still wanted you as memories flashed in your mind of the good times you spent with him. You trusted him to love and protect you if he’s anything like he used to be. You remembered how Reed exuded safety and how you didn’t worry that something would happen to you as long as he was with you.

Gunhee didn’t know what to say to what you told him. From what you were saying, it’s entirely possible that Reed held a torch for you all these years. Bless your heart, but you were clearly rather somewhat oblivious to the signs that Reed, for all intents and purposes, sounded like he was courting you since you were teenagers and even if you two hadn’t been in contact in years, he hadn’t let go of you wanting to continue courting you, which Gunhee was worried about. You knew but your grandfather didn’t know that.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. “I’m sorry you got caught up in all this,” Gunhee apologized to you. You knew your grandfather didn’t have a choice so you didn’t blame him for the position you were in. When he became chairman of the Hunter’s Association, he swore to himself to do what was best for Korea, and you understood. After you lost your family to a dungeon break and then friends from raids, you knew gaining stronger hunters was a must. You then remembered how intense Reed was when you were younger and wasn’t surprised that he’s willing to go this far for you. You didn’t think he’s changed much in that regard unless he’s gotten worse which you suspected from how your grandfather tensed up even more since he was brought up.

“But what does this mean for my hunting career?” you asked. You liked healing others, but you had a feeling that it’ll be a battle between the both of you because of this issue. Even when you were younger, Christopher would do most things so you didn’t have to. Anything that would harm you was quickly dealt with by him, and you never liked pushing that particular button of his, so you tried not to do anything risky the whole three years you spent in America. 

“That’s to be between you and Reed. The National hunters were given the most freedom to have a say in what goes on with their relationships. I don’t think anyone is going to even attempt to separate you and Reed, so the two of you need to work things out between each other.”

“Why would someone separate us?” You hissed out suddenly, your omega surfacing. She was unhappy at the thought of someone separating the two of you especially as all the memories rushed back to you. You didn’t realize how much you forced yourself to forget when you decided to move on. Part of you wanted to laugh at the irony. You had finally moved onto someone else who broke your heart only to eventually find yourself right back where you originally started with an alpha who had his eyes set on you even now a decade later. Alpha won’t be happy with us for trying to move on, your omega warned hearing your thought process, and you barely held back a wince. Reed was definitely going to be unhappy. 

Gunhee looked taken aback at your reaction. “Well, like I said, there’s going to be a trial courting period to help look for compatibility between the alpha and omega.”

“So we’re doing the trial period?” You asked, fidgeting. Your omega’s hissing in your mind got louder. Alpha will not let us go. He won’t. We don’t want him to. You froze for a moment at hearing her thoughts on the matter. We? Yes, we. You almost missed your grandfather’s reply by how distracted your omega was making you.

“Yes,” he replied firmly, “I don’t want you to feel pressured to be with him.”

“I’m not pressured.” You interrupted him, and you weren’t. If anything, you were starting to get excited at reuniting with your childhood sweetheart from America. “I’m glad that it’s Christopher I’m with now that I remembered him.” You knew he was pretty unhinged, but he would never hurt you. He’s always protected you and would have rather hurt himself than ever hurt you. As long as you were his, he didn’t care much about most things or people although the two of you had a couple of close friends besides each other. He only wanted you and to take care of you. 

Gunhee still looked worried. Something about Reed felt off, and his granddaughter was about to be given to him on a silver platter. “Just…please tell me if something happens that you don’t want, okay?”

“Okay, that’s fair.” You nodded.

“One last thing.” Gunhee sighed, rubbing a hand at his temple. “Reed decided that he’s coming to Korea to spend time with you here before bringing you to America. He should arrive in two days. The experiment actually was to start in a month, so he’ll be here for almost a month in between now and then, so you are to leave Korea for America after the month is up where the meeting will be for alphas and omegas and where you’ll then move into Reed’s mansion. I agreed with him coming here for now, so I’ll be able to monitor things here to observe how he treats you, so he’ll be staying at our home with us. I’ll allow him to live with you in your space.” The two of you have lived together since you came back to Korea, but you lived in the in-law suite that you designed for yourself for some privacy. It had everything you needed to survive on your own, but you’d go to the main house every morning to have breakfast with your grandfather. 

You perked up at that, eyes shining, your omega chirping in happiness that caused you to chirp out, “I can’t wait!” You honestly couldn’t wait to see what Christopher would look like in your nest feeling a burst of happiness overcoming you as your omega finally felt only happiness since the whole Sung fiasco. You then hugged Gunhee, purring to soothe your precious grandfather and the last of your family knowing this was tough for him. You knew he was strict about who you’d meet and talk to, fearful of losing you like he lost his son and daughter-in-law, and now part of his fear was manifesting. The appearance of gates stole most of your family members because you didn’t have many relatives to begin with. So now it’s just you and your grandfather, but soon you’d be leaving him too. 

He hugged you back for a moment before releasing you, throat tightening as tears threatened to come forth for a moment before relaxing as he stared down at you seeing how happy you became at the thought of Reed coming to stay for the month. He hoped that things would work out well as the guilt of giving you up to participate in the experiment ate at him. He gave another sigh before speaking, “Alright, my dear, I’m afraid I need to go back to my duties. I’ll have Jinchul drop you off at home.”

“Okay. Love you, grandpa.”

“I love you too, my dear one.”

---

On the other side of the globe, Christopher Reed held a picture that showed both of you as teenagers sitting closely, arms and thighs touching as you both leaned into each other, in the back of a pick-up truck. You were smiling at the camera, but he was smiling down at you. It had been taken by a friend he knew since his high school days who gave him a copy of the picture. You had been wearing that lovely summer, red dress he loved to see you in. Well, he loved seeing you however you wanted to show him. His alpha chuffed softly before he started rumbling as he stared at the picture. Only two more days until they would finally be reunited. 

He’s heard rumors about your nonexistent love life partly due to Hunter Sung not returning your feelings and being with someone else. Korea loved gossiping about that particular topic. She belongs with us, his alpha growled. And she will. There’s no turning back for any of us now. We can show her that we are the one for her, Reed responded to his inner alpha. His alpha chuffed at the thought and settled down. At least there seems to be no more obstacles in attaining you due to his fortunate happenstance of the experiment where getting you was easy and doable. 

Reed had missed you that whole time, but he needed to make sure he’d be a good alpha for you as he raided more dungeons to attain enough money so you two could easily live in luxury so you’d never want for anything money could buy. You both could raise your pups in his mansion, your new home, together. Although, he didn't care if you had pups or not, he just wanted you; and if pups could be a way to make you stay, he’d do it and even be the best father possible knowing you’d accept nothing less. 

While he was unhappy you tried to move on; it didn’t matter anymore because you would be his. He would make you his if that was the last thing he ever did. After all, he did stop talking to you for years so there’s a lot for him to make up for, so he’ll forgive you just this once for falling in love with someone else. Reed, himself, didn’t take to anyone after you were forced to leave him and spent his ruts alone. He couldn’t. It felt like cheating to him and his alpha, so they refrained from entertaining anyone even if experiencing his ruts alone was painful.  He’d tried to court you the whole time you spent with him, but he knew there was work to do before you could finally be with him, so he never marked you even if he had desperately wanted to back then. If he was a successful alpha, he knew he could get you back with him, it paid off, his alpha rumbled, we kill anyone who tries to take her from us. We are powerful. Reed returned his alpha’s rumble at the thought. He knew that Andre and Liu wouldn’t screw around with him by trying to take you, and with the other two national hunters gone, it only left hunter Sung as somewhat of a threat, but as he screwed up his chances with you, well, Reed knew not to interrupt one’s enemy when they’re hanging their own noose. He remembered you and your omega, spoiled little things with a vengeance streak once crossed, and Sung’s actions would assure bitter feelings. 

You immediately regret the sudden movement when your headache comes back swinging, pounding into your brain like a drum. You eventually fall back into your bed with a hard thump. Even when the lights are off, it feels like the room is spinning. There are stars dancing in your eyes that are just a tad too bright, but definitely more than a tad annoying.

You sit up but slowly this time, gauging whether you need to lie down and sleep the next hour away again. When you don't feel like throwing up, you open your eyes and blink at the corner of your room. You know you're seeing lights right now with the migraine treating you like a punching bag, but…

Are they supposed to be purple?

You don't quite remember if the stars in your vision are supposed to be stationary, either. You move your head this way and that, but the lights stay in one particular corner of your room, staring straight at you. Staring seems to be the right term, the lights making you think of two, purple ey-

No. No, you look away and lean on your side, taking a steady breath in before shakily exhaling.

You are not gonna get killed by some ghost when you're already facing the migraine of the century.

You ignore the lights - you can deal with the ghost when you're all better and ready to throw down with the supernatural, but not now - and turn to where you remember your bedside table was. Where was your phone?

At that moment, you hear the familiar ring of a notification going off. You squint, expecting the unwelcome bright light of your screen, but it's not coming from your table. You freeze.

It's coming from the other side of your bed.

Surely you just rolled over and left it there at some point? Right, yes, of course. You're overthinking things. Your mind is just stuck in a hazy fog made by your sickness. Your paranoia is just stemming from the inability to process common sense. You're starting to think someone is in the room with you just because you-

The bed behind you tips from a foreign weight.

You jump from the bed, but your movements are more than clumsy. You make a hasty turn, trying to face whatever is behind you, but you get caught in your blanket. It envelops the lower half of your body and before you know it you're falling. You try to hold on to the bedside table but your movements are sluggish and you miss it by centimeters. You brace yourself for the impact-

But it never comes.

You feel warm. Arms are circled around you, hands on your upper back and around your waist. A chest is pressed against your own, both heartbeats racing as if trying to catch up to one another. You're overwhelmed by a woody scent (and something… burnt? it's not much but it's there). Although you have an afterthought that it should have made your migraine worse, it ends up comforting you more than anything. So familiar. The figure in front of you leans back, pressing you closer to them as they make sure you're both kneeling safely on the bed.

You're warm. Their warmth is a welcome distraction from the migraine that threatens to make you black out. They loosen their grip ever so softly only when your heartbeat calms down. Almost as if sensing their effect on you, they pull your head to their chest, the hand on your back coming to scratch lightly at your scalp.

There's a new beating in your head, in your ear, but this one is pleasant and makes you feel like you're in a dream you don't want to wake up from. You see a pair of purple eyes in the opposite corner of the room. They blink at you once before becoming one with the dark.

"Did I scare you, sarang?" The voice is muffled. Is it because of your headache again? But you feel it numbly vibrate through your head. You barely feel soft lips against your hair, but it's there, and the knowledge that it's present calms you impossibly more. "Sorry, I should have come through the door."

You reach up and grasp the back of their, his - Jinwoo's - coat. You run your hand up and down his back, trying to bring yourself back to the present with each feel of his coat's texture. Without meaning to though, the action makes him shiver underneath your fingers and you hear him suck in a breath. You feel more awake than you've ever been as you let out a muffled laugh into his sweater.

"You definitely should have come through the door," you mumble, burying yourself further in his chest. He definitely smells burnt. "I thought someone broke in."

"That would be a stupid move on their part. Beru would have slit their throats the moment they touched the door knob," Jinwoo scoffs and you can almost see the smirk on his face.

You groan as Jinwoo shifts in position. He holds you close still, making sure you're nestled in his arms. He leans on the headboard. "It's great you're not a burglar then. I don't feel like cleaning up blood right now."

He hums, tucking your face in his neck and placing his chin over your head. "Bold of you to assume I would've let you clean that. The only thing you would have to worry about is the floor being slightly wet with hydrogen peroxide."

"Can't let them find any evidence." You breathe out a laugh.

"I can even go the extra mile and make sure no one ever looks for him if you want."

"Thanks for the offer. I'll make sure to remember it." you manage another small laugh and Jinwoo offers a small scratch to your scalp in response.

A quiet fills the room and if not for your boyfriend's overwhelmingly comforting presence, you'd think you were still alone with your thoughts and pounding headache. Thanks to him, you were able to forget about the pain for a few minutes. You would've been able to be lulled to sleep again if not for something tickling at your senses, especially now that you're so close.

"What are you doing here? You should've gone home after finishing your dungeons."

"Who said I went to any dungeons today? I could've just been lazing at home for a change and thought about checking on my wonderful significant other," Jinwoo gasps mockingly, and when you look up at him, you find purple glowing eyes looking at you mirthfully.

You laugh blankly. "You talk like I don't know you. I think you'd keel over if you stopped going to dungeons. Also, your clothes are all burnt. I can smell it clearly even with this headache."

"Oh, sorry about that." He holds your shoulders, ready to move you away from him, but he doesn't. He just holds you, not quite sure or willing to push you away. "Should… should I go take a shower first?"

"No, don't go. I was joking," you huddle yourself closer to him. "Do that later. But not right now please."

He lets out a chuckle before relenting and bringing you back in his arms. "Anything I can do to help you feel better?"

"No, no, I'm good I just-" your words are cut short with your stomach rumbling. You don't say anything, and neither does he, but you know he's looking at you like you're a liar. You can feel yourself flush. "Okay, so maybe I'm a little hungry."

"I'll get you something to eat, then. I'll make you something good." he shifts his weight, ready to either get up or sink further into the sheets.

"Don't burn my kitchen again, Sung Jinwoo, or I swear this is the last time I'm letting you into my house." you poke at his side and he winces.

He takes the hand poking him and he pulls it up to his lips, kissing your wrist. You're thankful he can't see your face right now. Or maybe he can? You're not about to test that theory. "Bold of you to think you can keep your boyfriend out."

"Bold of you to think I can't break up with you. If I break up with you then it's considered trespassing whenever you enter my house uninvited, isn't it?" you try to fight back the grin that threatens to push at your lips.

The grin disappears, however, when you're suddenly thrown onto your back. Your fall is cushioned by a soft mattress and even softer arms. Jinwoo's weight is shifted on top of you as he hugs you, head on your chest and body slotted in between your legs. He buries his head in your chest, before reaching up and putting your hand over his hair. When the initial shock has passed, you grin and scratch at his scalp, too.

Jinwoo's voice is muffled. "…Please don't do that."

You laugh, lightly pulling at his hair. "Mhm, yeah, that's what I thought."

Jinwoo lifts his head enough to see your face, purple eyes almost glittering in the dark. "I promise not to burn your well-maintained kitchen with my awful skills."

He reaches over to the bedside table to flick the night light on, but you feel him stop short. His arms return to wrap itself around you once more and he buries his head back into your chest.

"Jinwoo?"

He groans before tightening his hold on you. "Let's stay like this for a while more, is that okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. I'd like that, too."

So you stay in the dark. You think you see purple lights in the corner of your room again. Watching, curious.

✨ Masterlist ✨