#soft lads

we're coming.

"Wait, you‘ve got..." Robert murmurs, rubs his thumb over the cheek bone.

He gets lost in blue eyes, finger still caressing Aaron‘s face.

"There‘s nothing under my eye, is there,“ Aaron deadpans.

He shrugs, smirks.

Any excuse to touch Azza is a good excuse.

This is so soft, I can just picture it.

The house is empty. It feels larger, more open and eerily silent now everyone has gone.

Robert paces around, his footsteps echoing as he does with the uncertainty of what to do with himself.

He thought he’d be grateful for some alone time. The hecticness off life finally settling like the dust around the walls of The Mill, now old and very well lived in. A true family home.

There’s empty boxes around him, ready to be filled with keepsakes and memories of a life fufilled.

The house too large for just the two of them now.

He finds himself at the bookshelf. Scattered around are old board games and books. He remembers huddling around the coffee table on Christmas eve playing monopoly and reading bedtime stories of worn Roald Dahl books that his mother had read to him. His heart twinges at the memories, nostalgia making him soppy in his old age.

His eye catches a large, unloved book. The layer of dust making it almost unrecognisable, the edges turning discoloured.

He takes it in his hands, wipes away some dust like they do in all the movies.

He remembers it, smiles softly at himself as he takes it in.

Their old family photo album.

He settles back onto the couch, his face filled with joy. His eyes sparkle as he opens up to the first page.

The first photos makes his heart start to swell. He runs a hand over it in admiration, remembers how it felt in that moment.

It’s the four of them, out in the back on a Sunday day - all smiles and sunkissed skin.

Liv’s got Seb in her arms, he’s wearing a brightly coloured outfit that Robert remembers buying in that old department store that got close down almost 10 years ago. Robert’s arm is around Aaron’s waist, their smiles wide and genuine and Robert’s sure their eyes are most definitely sparkling behind their matching sunglasses.

It’s a mismatch of brothers and sisters and dads and sons whether it be step or adopted but it worked somehow. They were happy in the end, and that’s all that mattered.

He turns the page slowly, not wanting the memory to fade away.

But it’s quickly replaced with a new memory - Seb’s 6th birthday.

Robert and Aaron are hovering behind him as he blows out the 6 candles scattered across the caterpillar cake.

Robert remembers the wish, his little eyes lighting up brighter than any flame from a candle when they presented him with the new bike he’d been going on about for weeks.

It was a feeling Robert doesn’t think him and Aaron will ever forget.

He turns the page with anticipation to see more, his lips never faltering from the soft smile.

It’s Liv, in her cap and gown and smiling proudly.

The page is full, photographs scattered around.

Aaron’s tears of pride, Seb in a little bow tie and suspenders, Chas dressed to the nines.

He can still feel Aaron’s hand in his now, how he squeezed it when her name was called and jumped up and cheered with pride.

Robert’s startled from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder, it’s then he realises the wetness on his cheeks. He tries to cough in a way of hiding his emotions, and turns to face the person.

“Hey, you ok?”  It’s Aaron with his soft voice and warm eyes.

Robert marvels at the man in front of him, as he glances over his features. The wrinkles by his eyes, the grey streaks in his hair and beard, deep lines at the corner of his lips from years of worry and smiling.

“Yeah, M’good.” Robert mutters, quickly wiping away the tear with the sleeve of his jacket.

“Seb called, he’s all settled in his new place.” Aaron smiles, sitting himself on the arm of the sofa next to Robert and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Aaron knows, he knows Robert too well - and without words, it’s almost as if everything starts to feel a little more easier for Robert.

“Finally got the house to ourselves.” Robert forces out a laugh, but it’s laced with sadness as he smiles up at his husband.

“Yeah, only waited 18 years.” Aaron mirrors the same sad chuckle as the two stared down at the photo album in Roberts hand.

“It will be Seb’s graduation next.” Aaron nudges Robert with his elbow, a grind on his face and suddenly Robert’ mirroring that same grin and nodding at the thoughts of more memories made. 

“It’ll be ok you know?” Aaron comforts with a squeeze to Robert’s shoulder. “We’ll still see him all the time - at weekends, holidays, when he needs money - just like we do with Liv.”  Aaron smiles, moving his arm around to pull Robert into a hug.

“I know, it just feels so quiet now.” Robert says, referring to the home they built.

“I know.” Aaron replies, slipping off the arm of the sofa so he’s level with Robert.

He pulls him closer, Robert tucking his head into the crook of Aarons neck.

The house is silent, their breathing filling the thick air. But it’s home, as long as he’s with Aaron - he’s home.

“We’ve had some good times here, hey?” Aaron nudges Robert with a smile on his face.