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Don't open up unless I'm actually dead, okay? You hear me, fuckfaces? I worked really hard on this, I kept laughing through, so just do me a solid and don't watch it unless I'm really dead. Yes, Stilinski, that means you. I'm looking at you. (And everyone else. Mostly Stilinski, though.)
Okay, hi. It's me. If you're watching this, that means Tessa Annabelle Grayson is dead, six feet under, whatever the hell you want to call it, Pushing diaries, married to the grim reaper. [smiles, shrugs] Hey, you know what? We all have to go someday. It's the circle of life. Like in the Lion King. [winks at the camera] Disney references forever.
First off, I want to say, no matter what, that I love you. Like, a lot. And it's okay that I'm gone. I know it will be okay. I'm not afraid of death, actually. More afraid of my freezer running out of waffles, honestly. [giggles] I guess, more seriously, I'm not afraid of what lies ahead. I'm not.
When I was eleven, I read one of my first poems by Emily Dickinson and she said that without the existence of death, the existence of life would not exist. Meaning, I guess, that in order to live, we have to die. And that's okay. [smiles, looks down, then back up] I don't...I don't want anyone to be sad. I want you guys to just know how much I love you.
A lot of people always would come up to me sometimes, after my mother died and I made it clear she was awful to me my entire fucking life, and would always say that they were sorry. But you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry whatsoever.
Because of that, because of the way I've...suffered, I've met some of the most amazing people. The best people. The only people I have ever called family. There was nothing in my life to be sorry for. I didn't have a mother that loved me, or a father that cared, but I had you guys. I never felt alone. Not truly. I had you.
[takes in a deep breath, gets out a list of paper, puts on her glasses] Yes, I need glasses, okay? Jackass got them for me, they're Armandi? Is that the designer's name? Whatever, I don't got the time.
[clears her throat] Here we go, my official will. Lizzy and Mikey get all of the money I have saved up throughout my life, they get the house when they're older and I want Lizzy to have my diamond ring and for Mikey to have my library. [winks at the screen] I know you wanted it so badly, buddy. [laughs]
I give Lizzy and Mikey to Adrian Dumont and Jason Dunham, because I know they'll always be safe. Also, because I kind of want to see that Two and a Half Man dynamic happen! [laughs] Lizzy and Mikey, you be good for them, okay? I mean it! Love you guys. You two gave me a home when no one else did. You're my guardian angels forever. Although, funnily enough, I guess I am now.
I want Stiles Stilinski to have all of my Disney DVDs, and free access to all curly fries, him and his dad, at the Grill. Don't worry, buddy, I got you covered. The manager knows all about it. So you'll never pay for curly fries again. [laughs, looks up at the screen] I also want Stiles to have this book I keep under my bed. [pulls out a self made book of them, a scrapbook] I was going to give it to you when the time was right, I just never found it. I suppose now it is. [smiles] I love you, Stiles.
I leave Jackson Whittemore a fucking heart. [laughs] Joking, he has one. Maybe. I give Jackson my entire record collection and record player. Whittemore, you need a better taste in music. No more fucking techno for you. I also want to give you this necklace. [shows it in a box that she keeps under her bed] It's a locket, and inside, it's a picture of us. Don't get cocky, okay? I just...I love you. You're a good guy, Jax. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently.
I want to give Ash Bailey, Helen Leventis and John Greenberg all my clothes, everything, to donate and let them know that I love them so much. Ash, you're my sister for life and you're the bravest girl I know. I love you. Helen and John, you crazy kids. [smiles] Stay in love. Please. I want you three to also stay best friends forever. That would be the best gift to me.
Rowan Winters, I give you Simba. He's the fluffiest, cutest, also the coolest puppy out there and he reminds me of you. I love you, Ro. Stay strong. And you're...My favorite hipster. My favorite everything.
Allison Argent, my wife, I would like to give my rose gold ring! To prove we're forever wives at heart, a power couple, my best friend in every single way. I love you so much. Stay strong, too. Also, okay, and I know this sounds weird, but the first time I saw you shoot an arrow, I took it home...and I kept it. I just wanted to keep it, to remind me of how strong I can be, strong like you. I love you. Take care of your daddy.
Lydia Martin and Leah Pinto, my banshee sisters, I give to you, well, i give Lydia, all of my designer clothes back. Honestly, Lyds? You and your designer clothes! [laughs] I love you so much, my sister, my everything. You are the best. Take my favorite high heel shoes. They're yours. You know the ones. With the gold sparkles. Wear them and think of me. [smiles] Leah, Miss Leah, I give to you my entire history book collection and my collection of alcohol. I love to serve you drinks and now, when you take a drink, you can always think of me. I hope you do. I love you. I love you both, my banshee sisters.
Isobel Queen, oh, Izzy! To Izzy, I give my other pair of favorite heels, the red ones with the strappy thing. You know the ones I'm talking about. I want you to wear them and remember you deserve all of the love in the world. I want you to wear them when you feel down and know that I'm with you. I'm always with you.
Malia Tate, or my beautiful Mallie, I want to give my map of the world. Why? Because you deserve to see the world. You're the brightest light of Beacon Hills, I always tell you, filled with so much love and light. And you need to share it. So I give you my entire world map and of course, this blanket Lizzy and I made for you. Stitched with love only for you, my sweet Mallie. I love you so much.
Maya Banana, I give you my house. You can use it whenever you like, however you like, I just want you know you have a home with me. Always. I love you so much, you and your beautiful eyes. You're never alone, remember that. You can always come to my house, a key is made up for you and everything, and now it's yours. Always. You'll always have a home with me.
Alexander Quinn, you handsome son of a bitch. What to give the man that has given me literally everything? I give you, Daddy, all of my Daddy pictures, poems, everything I made for my father in school when he wasn't there. I never got to give them to anyone, so I want to give them to you. Because you're my father. Always and forever, you're my father. And I love you more than I'll ever love my biological father. You taught me everything---I love you, Daddy, Allie Bear.
[sighs] Okay, that's all! Such a long list. Okay, so basically, [looks right into the camera] I don't want anyone to be sad, or cry for days. I want you guys to know, I love you more than I love anything. And I'm not afraid of what is to come, I promise. I'm really not. I love you with all of my heart, hope to die.
For now, let's never say good-bye. Let's just say, I'll see you later, alligator. I'll see you when I see you. With all of the love in the world. [blows a kiss, until it goes back to static]
Hmm, the Hales? They think themselves the Royals of Beacon Hills, but to me, it’s more like those silly little Kardashians. Keeping Up With the Hales. They seem to be multiplying, honestly. Peter is so good-looking, as is Derek. They’re both simply to die for. The rest of them? I don’t care about at all.The other royals? The Tanners are such beautiful girls, shame they are trash. The Taos are crafty, think themselves better, but they’re not, clearly. The Cheveliars get on my last name, especially Jacqueline. No one is as better as the Olsens, that is for sure. Werewolves are a beautiful species, although since I am pure, I do think myself higher than any other werewolf. Witches? They’re helpful, crafty. I quite like them. Banshees? Who would like a banshee? All they do is scream and wait to be rescued. Do more than scream .
