Aug 19, 2025
"At the Party," by W.H. Auden
read by hans ostrom
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"At the Party," by W.H. Auden
read by hans ostrom
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Socializing or Social-climbing?
This is where the confusion begins: most of us think that socializing is equally acquainted to social-climbing, but there exists a fine line between these two terms. While many of us enjoy the comforts of what these terms bring to us, there exists a passive yet consequential effect, our individual doubt. Well what we can observe is that social climbing is conspicuously prevalent in the youth’s generation (which is apparently where I belong to, but not entirely so) in the age of information. There is that speed of connection in the vast system of technology to engage people from all over the world. The whole point of which is to encourage the mass individuals to interact to one another in spite of one’s proximity differences, or in simpler term, to socialize. But when can we consider such a thing as social-climbing?
So here’s the thing, since almost everyone is trying to belong, we all have to be familiar with all the up-to-dates kind of gigs, the talked-about memes and the ever famous mannerisms as popularized by some jacked scums to initiate far insatiable stupidity. Almost everyone is trying to know these stuff, and they end up in the popular groups who actually belong, who actually initiated these schemes, and they feel quite a part of something bigger. When people put their best effort to belong, to the extent that they create overly extroverted facade, that is when they become social-climbers. The thing is, I dislike the way people try to internalize this perspective as something impeccably divine element to survive. But I feel overly contradictory to such mentality, because at the end of the day, we end up as the persons who we really are. I mean, I am not opposed to socializing, but to social-climb is such a pathetic facade. We talk to people, try to make an effort to learn their jargon, and try to pretend as if it’s such a non-queer thing to behave like so, it’s all part of the dramaturgical concept we all involve in. When we head home and coil in our beds, we don’t necessarily employ these characteristics, and when we do, that’s where the problem begins. We all try to adopt this behavior that we are not entirely familiar of given our individual backgrounds. It’s when we would consider one as a social-climber. I am very much annoyed by such people because they are almost everywhere! We could see them swarming over the cyber space of social networking sites and laying their eggs on independent sites like Blogger, Tumblr, and the like to initiate some kind of a trend that will later credit them.
FAMEWHORES. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. But stepping out of the cliche zone is cliche in itself. I mean, it doesn't necessarily apply to all, but all those happy-go-lucky people who post depressing thoughts about themselves, how bad they feel about their appearance when they acquire quite a number of compliments, and how terrible their life is when they are enjoying the luxuries in their comforts by travelling and hanging out a lot with friends independently, and all those crappy hypocrites who mask their conceitedness of being smart by pretending not to acknowledge their intelligence on something, and even try to cover it up by manifesting innocence, but above it all, in a larger perspective, we could only sum it up as an expression of masked vanity. All I can say is, looks can be deceiving. You can’t really trust famewhores because they employ multiple personalities, but which social-climbing, above all, prevails.
So I went and socialized into the real world yesterday and let me tell you I couldn't be ,ore happier to be back in my room on tumblr.... Even the sun bothered me... I'm just not meant to go outside.... I think my job will be to work from home bc the real world is not somewhere I'd like to be
Where do I belong?
Im always knew there were people in the world that had more than I did in an economic stadpoint. I just never met very many. Now im being exposed to many. I guess I have always been trapped in the small world of where I grew up. My parents always told me about how dangerous the world it. I never really cared. I thought if I just keep my grades up in school and have my priorities right, ill move on from where I lived. Im beggining the transition now by attending college. It still makes me feel very underpriviledged when I go into another dorm and they have game consoled or food in their "pantry." I dont put very much value in anything. I dont have a lot of things because I dont feel I need them. Maybe thats my problem. Maybe I grew up to only think about things I need. I feel as though this is bad. I can help but think what people think of me now. I remember my cousin telling me "your and inspiration to me because you never cared what people think about you in school." I never knew what people thought about me. Could it be that I expressed my poordom in school and I was too foolish to see it for myself. Did everyone know? Is that what people think about when they meet new people? Ive never talked about the things I have. I like to build relationship by sharing hardships. Maybe I just have a negative outlook on life. Im sure everyone goes through hard times. Its what we all have in common as a Human race. The only difference is that I have never been ebarrassed about my economic status, but now I feel as though I should be. That is how other people make it seem. Everytime they talk about the enviroment they grew up in, I can not relate. Or if I do, I will get the same reaction. They are amazed at what I experienced. I view their life as normal, but they dont view mine the same. Why is it so hard for me to make relationships with people who have had more than I do. Could it be my ideas of value. I only care about the person and how they are doing. I care about how they are doing, not what they have done. But most people share experiences in converstaion while I have none to share. What do I talk about if i didnt have the resources to experience any of those things? I feel alone and left out. I dont have anything intresting to contribute to a conversation. I am now wondering what people think about me when I dont have an intresting story to talk about. How is it possible that I did nothing with my time. Maybe its because I had little friends. I wonder why I had very little friends though? This sucks. I guess the solution would be to make things happen with people. Do things. The only problem now is that I dont know how to act around others. I dont know how to fit it because there are no pieces of me I can fit. The more I write the worse i begin to feel. Maybe this is why my mind has chosen to blind me to the realities of life. The realities being that everyone has certain standards of living. I had no standards of living. Just standards of survival.