#so ye.

So the reason, especially with this specific character that I have to put under content warning is partly because for one the magic mentioned that they do in the beginning of the story alone is already something that is literally a 99.99% death chance. [Only the one who created it was persay able to get it to work and it isn't even proven that they did.]

The spell is to summon someone from another world to their own. It usually kills the one doing it so it was deemed as fake and just an incredibly painful way to die. So it was forbidden because well yeah. Also anyone that didn't die would keep trying until the did or would just... commit suicide after.

Usually you either died or had a chance at something that was deemed impossible. So people took it. Chance to be famous or end up without seeing their own failure. Mei was one of them but it wasn't for personal gain persay. Mei didn't want the fame. Mei just wanted a friend. That was basically it.

Mei already would have attempted time and time before. They were a plant mage so you can see how they may try. Though since the plants were magical they also wouldn't let Mei.

Even if Mei lived and the spell failed the plants would still try to prevent Mei from doing harm to themselves.

The plants weren't the only ones. There was only one person in the town that Mei lived in that knew of their suicidal thoughts and actions.

Others didn't even suspect anything. Yet even when the spell work they just assumed that the person they summoned was just someone from out of town honestly.

Yet there's still the evidence of the harm Mei did or would have done to themselves around the inner part of their shop. Yes they lived at their own shop. Most of the people in that town would unless they didn't want to.

Anyways Mei often has to be put under a suicidal thoughts and action warning because of that. Especially if I do mini versions of letting people read what they think or do sometimes. Just because they have a friend doesn't mean the thoughts went away.

Also I am not saying Mei is depressed either, actually aside from the self harm thoughts they are pretty content. Even a bit more when the spell worked. Which they found out the next day as it knocked them out when doing the spell.

There's other characters of mine that'd be put under a content warning always. Maybe for gore reasons (like literally killing/torturing people, not for missing limbs nor like scars. If it's them then it'd likely be one that regenerates.) Like the only other ones are if they have maybe slight blood? But likely not always.

-----

Simeon pushed through the crowded bar until he was standing at the edge of the circle, looking at what they all seemed to find so entertaining.

Callie was at a table, surrounded by empty glasses. The crowd was shouting encouragements as one of them pushed another glass into their face.

"Noooooo!" An electronic voice came from Callie's mask, fluctuating between several familiar cadences. They swiped vaguely at the offender. "Not yet. Need to...me-e-e-TABolize."

Larry pushed through the crowd and stood next to Simeon. "What the FUCK is going on here?" he shouted.

The crowd fell silent. Callie turned to look at them. They seemed...floppier than normal.

"Oh, he-E-ey, guys!" the mask called. "I'm. NOT having a good time."

And then they slid right out of their chair and hit the floor with a thud.

"Shit," Simeon hissed, shoving through the crowd. The Captain, meanwhile, lunged across the table and grabbed the glass-shover by the shirt, pulling him up until their faces were inches apart.

"THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?" he snarled. "THEY'RE JUST A KID!"

"Fuc'OFF," the guy slurred. "Jus' havin some fun."

"FUN?"

Simeon reached Callie and crouched down beside them. "Hey. Kid," he said.

"I app-p-pEAR to be on the floor," buzzed the mask. "We did. Not mean to DO that."

"Kid," Simeon repeated, reaching out and giving their shoulder a tentative shake.

Callie - or their mask at least - blinked at him. Then they reached up and held either side of Simeon's snout with both gloved hands.

"Wo-o-o-AOW," they said. "You-uuuu-re SUCH a g-g-good doggy."

"Oh, goddammit," Simeon muttered.

"H-h-HI, Simeon," said Callie. "I'm drunk."

"You don't say."

"Like...I'm WASTED. I'm fu-fu-fu-FUCKED up. Drank. SoOOOOOOooOOO much."

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THEM!" Larry was shouting. Simeon looked up. "THEY COULD HAVE DIED! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"Well if you CARE s'much, why weren't you HERE?" the man slurred in response, jabbing his fingers sloppily into Larry's chest.

The Captain grit his teeth with rage. "You little-"

"Simeon," said Callie.

The sobriety in the word was stark enough that Simeon glanced back. "Huh?"

"Simeon," Callie repeated, tapping him repeatedly on the shoulder. "Out- out of the way-"

"What? What's happening?"

"SIMEON," said Callie urgently. "I'M GONNA THROW UP-"

"FUCK!"

In one quick motion, Simeon backed away and reached forward, hauling Callie up onto all fours as they fumbled with their mask. The kid lifted it away from their mouth and threw up onto the hardwood floor.

Larry's attention turned from the man to his companions. He dropped him abruptly onto the table and made his way around. "Shit. Shit. Are they okay?"

"Do they LOOK okay, dumbass?" Simeon snapped up at him.

Callie finished emptying their stomach and stared at the floor, breathing heavily. They were trembling. They cleared their throat a few times.

Then they pulled down their mask and sat back on their heels, hugging themself and shaking violently.

"Kid?" Simeon asked, with a hesitant reach towards them. Their mask had gone completely blank.

"SIMEOOOOON," the voice behind the mask wailed. Callie threw themself into Simeon's arms. The shaking, as it turned out, was from sobs that were no longer silent.

"Oh-"

"I wanna go hooooome!"

"Um-"

"I f-feel so gross!"

"I'm sor-"

"I don't like being drunk! I don't like being drunk, Simeon!"

"Th-that's oka-" Simeon tried, gingerly putting his arms around them.

"I thought I did!"

"Yeah?"

"I was like...s' not FAIR! Because YOU got to be useless in the FIRST town, wh-where we met the-the...the fucken, army! An' then EVERYONE got to be useless 'n the Red Mist an'-an' I had to save EVERYONE all by myself! An' it was SCARY!"

"Mm?"

"An' I...I got MAD!"

"Ah."

"An' I was like...OOOO, new TOWN! An' you two jus'- jus'- jus'- LEFT. An' I was like. Y'know what? I deserve...t'be useless! I should get to...to...to be a li'l SHIT and, and give in to something, for fucking once, and have a good time too!"

"Mm."

"An' it's been so LONG since I got DRUNK...m-my mom threw away all the...all the...the good shit in my house, a few years ago, after she found me tha' that one time? Because...s' DANGEROUS t'drink with my antidepress-depress-ess-ants."

"Is it?"

"Mmm-hmm. Bu' I haven't...I haven't been able to take THA' shit i-in WEEKS. No fuck- fuckin...PHARMACIES in the DEATH SWAMP. And it SUCKS, but I w's like...A'LEAS I CAN DRINK NOW!"

"Ah."

"So I, I went n got a drink...but erryone was...was like OOO a HUMAN, les'...les see th' human drink! An' they kept making me drink more an...an more?"

"Uh huh?"

"An' I WAN'ED to stop but...but they got ANGRY..."

"They did?"

"An' you weren't anywhere, an' I didn't know wha...what to DO, so I jus' kept drinking and drinking an, an' I thought I was gonna DIE, but th'more I had the...the less scary it got..."

Simeon glared at the crowd. There was murder in his eyes.

"An' now m, my, m'brain isn't working! N' I'm dizzy, and sweaty and...and all GROSS and I threw up..."

"I knew that part."

"And I'm SORRY."

"You're sorry?" Simeon exclaimed, incredulous.

Callie nodded into his shoulder.

"Fucking- for what?"

"Because...I'm all dish-dis-th-disgusting and useless, and I probably smell really really bad," sobbed Callie, curling their fingers into his fur.

"Oh," said Simeon. He made helpless eye contact with the Captain and started to awkwardly pat Callie on the back. "That's okay."

Callie sniffed. "It is?"

"Yeah. I mean, you were right. We both got our turn to be dead weight, it's only fair that you get a chance. Sorry it wasn't fun."

"...was fun for a little bit," Callie mumbled.

"Good for you, then," said Simeon. "And, uh. Seriously, you don't smell THAT bad. I've smelled way worse things. For longer. You still mostly just smell like you."

There was silence for a moment. Then, in a small voice, Callie said, "Really?"

"Yep," said Simeon. "You're, uh. You're good."

"Oh," said Callie slowly. "Wow." They fell silent.

Simeon became uncomfortably aware of how long the kid had been hugging him. They had relaxed completely against him and fallen into a drunken stupor, so silent that Simeon might've thought they had passed out if it weren't for the fingers still tightly wound into his fur.

It wasn't unpleasant. That was part of the problem. There was a dim impulse at the back of his brain, something that wanted to...to surround them and snarl and bite and tear until everything that dared to even look at the kid was bloody and dead and eaten.

But Simeon knew the one who had designed his impulses, and she didn't make anything good.

So instead he gave a small growl and jostled one of Callie's shoulders, not too gently. "Okay, come on, kid, let's get out of here. Can you stand?"

"Oh. Yep," said Callie.

They pushed away from Simeon and stared at the floor for a hard moment. They seemed to be strategizing. Then, moving like a sloppily puppeteered marionette, they slung one arm past Simeon onto the table. They used it to haul themself upright.

The crowd yielded to accommodate them, silently watching.

Callie edged their feet carefully around the puddle on the floor, pushed off the table, and began promptly to stumble and fall over again. The Captain gave a wordless cry and lunged to catch them. His arms looped under their shoulders.

"You okay?" he asked.

"NO! Dammit!" Callie exclaimed, a slurred cry of frustration. "I didn't mean to...I don't wanna...lemme try again, let-"

"Kid, you can't STAND," said the Captain, trying to tug them to their feet.

The mask reactivated for a brief moment, a hideous voice buzzing in tandem with Callie's own.

"Don't TOUCH ME!"

The Captain let them down quickly and took a step back. His hands flexed helplessly.

Callie fumbled a few feet to the wall and slowly pulled themself into a more vertical arrangement. They leaned into it and breathed heavily for a moment.

The spectator who had been pressuring them to have another drink saw his opportunity, doing an awkward step/lean over to press the tiny glass to their mouth.

In a quick, violent motion, the Captain reached out and smashed the glass back into the bearer's face. It shattered on his forehead, sending alcohol, glass, and blood tinkling to the floor.

There was a small cry of outrage from the crowd. It fell quickly silent as the army man made a sharp motion towards the holster at his hip. His hand stopped short to hover threateningly over the handle. Gleaming red goggles dared anyone else to make a move.

"All of you are on THIN FUCKING ICE," he announced.

Simeon approached Callie slowly, from an angle where they could see him. "So you can't stand?"

"Don't TOUCH me," Callie repeated.

"I'm not," said Simeon. He looked around helplessly for a moment, trying to find a solution in a bar full of assholes.

Finally he turned his back toward Callie and looked at them over his shoulder. "Okay, get on," he said.

Callie looked at him, face unreadable behind the blank mask.

"I'm not gonna touch you," he said. "But you can touch me, right? It's different."

Callie stared at him a little longer. Then they nodded. They shuffled forward and all but fell onto Simeon's back, arms wrapping around his neck, face burying itself in his shoulder.

Simeon gave a small sigh and adjusted their drunken limbs around him. "Grab their stuff," he said to the Captain.

The Captain started a little and looked around. Callie's staff was still leaning against the table, cape and bag draped over the chair. He picked up the former and slung the other two over his shoulder.

Simeon sighed again. "Alright. Let's go."

"But-" the Captain started, glaring angrily at the crowd. His hand flexed towards his gun again.

"Let's GO," said Simeon. "It's not fucking worth it." He started toward the door, Callie in tow.

The Captain stared at the crowd again. Then he cursed angrily, kicking over a chair. He turned to the door and stormed out.

-----

"Did...did you know that horses can be'n...be-be in abusive rela-relashom-ships?" Callie asked.

"Were are we headed?" asked the Captain.

"There's a hotel down the street," said Simeon.

"I's TRUE," said Callie. "Don't...don't even AT me righ'now. Was one of them, weird, uh. Weird-ass horse kids when 'was little."

"I thought we were going to camp tonight," said the Captain.

"Yeah, that was before the human almost died of alcohol poisoning."

"Righ' but...but I learned, when I was little, tha' horses can be. Abusive. Victims. S' weird as hell."

"We need to keep moving," said the Captain. "If we want to reach the Asylum-"

Simeon bristled. "Is where we sleep really gonna make a fucking distance?"

"The asshole horse. It like. Bites the other horse. Kicks them. Eats their food, an-an' runs away from them. Just. Mean shit. But the dumbass other horse keeps, fuckin', following them around anyway."

"Plus, we're probably going to have to stay in town another day anyway," said Simeon.

"WHAT?" the Captain snapped.

"The kid's gonna be feeling this one tomorrow," said Simeon.

"No. Absolutely not."

"Would you make YOURSELF travel hungover? Or your men, or whatever?" growled Simeon.

"Th' idea is...the victim horse thinks that. The asshole horse will protec-*HIC* protec' them if anyone else tries to b'mean."

"Plus, we NEED them," said Simeon. "They're smart and have magic. We wouldn't have made it this far without them, and you fucking know it."

"I don't give a flying FUCK-"

"An, THAT'S why I keep hanging out with you!" Callie exclaimed.

The Captain and Simeon cut off and turned their attention to them.

"What?" asked the Captain.

"Th-see, when 'was little, I thought that the victim whores mus' be dumb as hell. I mean horse." Callie giggled. "Whores. BUT! I get it now. World is big an' scary. If you can pick the scary, it feels like you have some...some...control." They giggled again. "You two are fucken. Assholes. Bu' you came for me. Eventually. So maybe 's not that dumb."

Simeon and the Captain exchanged a look.

"Fine," spat the Captain. "ONE extra day."

Simeon arched his eyebrows and faced ahead again.

"Maaaaaaaaan," said Callie. "Don'...don' tell my therapis' I said this? But people're SO overrated. Like. Having a dad? Or...a real mom? Watching m'friends with theirs, s'like. SUCKERS! Miss me with...with THAT shit! N' my friends, too, in high school...s' like..." Callie sniffed. "They didn't fucking know me. Nah really."

The trio was silent for a moment. The only noise was music and voices from open storefronts, and cars whizzing by them on the street.

"Preten' I didn't say that," said Callie. "M'friends were fucking. GREAT. Good kids. Good people. They couldn't help not knowing me. I don't even know me. I's jus that...most people SUCK. Y'know? They're mean. And if...if you wanna get close to them, you gotta...give up SO many boundaries. Like...wha' makes you think you're worth it? Don' want...any fucking hugs. Piece of shit. Most of the time 's actually better to be alone."

They giggled and let their head roll back. "S' just BETTER!"

Simeon and the Captain looked everywhere except at each other as Callie laughed at the sky and they continued down the street.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm," said Callie, resting their forehead against Simeon's shoulder again. "Don' listen to me. M'...jaded. N' cynical. I don't always feel like this. Okay?"

"...Okay," said Simeon. What else was there to say?

They reached the hotel. Got two rooms next to each other. The Captain dropped Callie's stuff in their room and stormed into his. Simeon heard the door slam and rolled his eyes.

"Alright, here you go," said Simeon, untangling Callie's arms from around his neck.

"Ooookay," Callie slurred. They flopped onto the bed and lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling.

Simeon stood there, watching them. Waiting for...something?

Eventually, Callie took a deep breath and sat up. "Iiiii'm gonna change," they said. They reached for their bag once, twice, then grabbed it, pulling it onto their lap. They stared blankly ahead for a moment. Then they whispered "right," reached up, and took off their mask.

Simeon flinched and turned away before he could see their face. He wasn't sure why. But the kid was drunk, and they'd never given any indication that they wanted him to see their face, and maybe seeing someone's face was a normal form of connection but something about never having seen it before made the prospect feel more intimate somehow.

"Alright," he said as the kid got to their feet and stumbled towards the bathroom. "You do that." He headed for the door.

He had his hand on the knob when the voice behind him sounded feebly.

"Wait, where're you going?"

Simeon turned around and SHIT-

The kid had made it to the bathroom door and was looking directly at him. The mask was still on the other side of the room, resting on the nightstand.

And there was their face, facing him full on like the sun in his eyes.

The first thing he noticed were the dots. Hundreds of tiny, tiny brown dots, dappling their face like so many stars. Some sort of fragmented pigmentation.

Next were the eyes. They were huge, long-lashed, and light brown, almost tan or yellow. They were unfocused, but they shone in their face like candlelight.

Then the nose. Small and pointy, and turned up a little at the end. Their lips, pale and thin, with the little dots dancing on the edges. Their hair, which he had seen before, but the way that it curled slightly against their face, brushed against their round cheeks.

The kid blinked their perfect eyes.

Simeon felt something jerk in his chest, like an invisible hand had reached in and squished his heart in a firm grip. He looked away.

"H-huh?" he said.

"Huh?" the kid repeated.

Simeon shook his head. "Um. What did you say?" he asked.

The kid sniffed and dragged a hand under their nose (little tiny perfect button nose.) "Said, where're you going?"

"Oh." Simeon pointed at the door. "Um."

The kid shook their head. "Nevermind," they said. "World is. Big. And mean. And I'm tiny and dumb. But I think i's done trying to get me tonight. You c'n go."

They smiled halfheartedly at him. There was a tiny gap between their front teeth. Simeon felt the hand squeeze his heart again.

Something in his brain lagged for a moment. When it caught up to reality, the kid had vanished into the bathroom.

"I think it's done trying to get me tonight."

Simeon swore. He stood there for a moment, hand on the doorknob. He swore again.

None of his impulses were good. Simeon knew what he was supposed to be, and he didn't want to be it. His instincts were base and twisted and monstrous and he didn't listen to them. He didn't listen to ANYONE.

That damn kid was using him. They had to be. Was this all a trick? Had she set this up somehow? Was that why his collar had stopped trying to make him come home? Because he was where she wanted him to be?

It would be like her. To let him go, just to prove to him that he could never be more than what she made him for.

That fucking kid.

"We'll regroup at the Asylum," they had shouted. No hesitation. As if all of this had been planned from the beginning, to take him right back. And they'd asked Simeon to lead them.

They hadn't seemed to notice yet that they were going the wrong way. Did that mean they really didn't know where it was? Or was that a trick too? Would someone eventually punish him for it?

Leave it to that bitch to have him questioning the reality of everything around him, even if there was a chance she had no hand in any of this at all.

Simeon was really starting to hate that fucking kid.

"I think it's done trying to get me tonight."

Why did they have to be so SMALL?

Simeon swore again and let go of the doorknob. He curled up on the floor at the foot of their bed.

Callie was out of the bathroom much later than it should have taken a person to change their clothes, but it was better than expected for someone so completely wasted. Simeon refused to look at them, but he listened as their feet shuffled towards the bed in the middle of the room.

But the kid didn't get in bed.

Instead Simeon felt them fall to their knees beside him. And then the weight of their torso settled on top of him. Fingers curled into his fur. A little nose nuzzled into the back of his neck, beneath his collar.

The kid didn't seem to notice how Simeon bristled as they began to pet him, combing their fingers down the fur of his shoulders and arms.

Their touch was impossibly gentle. It felt good. It felt wrong. To be touched that gently. To be held without being hurt.

"Mmmmm, good doggy," the kid was mumbling. Drunken nonsense. They reached up and scratched him behind one ear oh FUCK that felt good-

The kid was singing now, a little babbling noise as their fingers curled through his fur. Some sort of nonsense. Their voice was high and sweet and so quiet that it occasionally rasped into a whisper.

"Oh, but they're weird n' they're wonderful...oh Bennie she's...she's um. really keen...she's got. Electric boots...a mohair suit, y'know I read it in a magazi-ine. Mmmm, mmm...

"B-b-b-bennie and the Jets..."

Simeon felt something growing in the back of his throat. He tried and failed to swallow it down. Goddammit.

One good thing, she had given him and his brothers. "Stress relief," she had told them. A modicum of comfort, just so that none of them could say she hadn't given them anything. He refused to use it, at least in front of her. He refused to use it now.

But as his limbs relaxed and the kid's quiet singing became sleepier and sloppier, he felt the urge getting more and more powerful, and his drive to suppress it growing weaker and weaker.

Goddammit, he thought again.

But he managed to wait until the kid fell asleep - fingers slackening, breathing evening out - to actually let it happen.

A rumble grew in the back of his throat, rusty at first, stuttering from neglect. But it grew, in volume and confidence, until his whole body was thrumming with it, completely relaxed under the warm weight on his back.