#snrp

saturday nights

Wakefield’s Cloudy Late brings us the super smooth and laid back Fruit Flies. Lateness personified this brings that Northern vibe with sweeping washes and clumping beat from SNRP. Produced by: SNRP Cloudy Late https://www.instagram.com/cloudy_late/

New muses added!  Scarlet Nexus muses!

Effexor is doing great things for me so far. I've been talking to my parents and coming out of my room more often. I am still an introvert but before effexor I would be holed up in my room for hours just watching TV shows on repeat and idly scrolling through Tumblr/Reddit. With this stuff I'm still doing all that but I take breaks to walk around the house and play with the cat, or go outside as well. I haven't been going very far outside without a destination (It's cold as a witches teat out there), but I am at least going to the mailbox without any idle fear. I'm also drawing while watching TV and actually posting content to social media sites. I'm still only on 37.5 mg and my Dr wants me to up my dose to 75 on Tuesday, but I only just started adjusting to this dose so maybe I can get away with it for a few days longer.

Both my mom and my boyfriend have noticed drastic changes in my behaviour, and though I am me, and not a third party, I have been noticing changes as well. For one I actually sat down and decided to start writing an entire journal about my experiences on this drug. Though that may be because we just  got a box of Tim Hortons K-cups. (WOO!) I've noticed that I'm actually dancing on my own and seeking out active stimulus like drawing or singing instead of passive, calming stimulus like calming lights or sounds. I even started listening to music again. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've actually listened to music. My boyfriend has mentioned and I've noticed as well, that it takes me a lot less time to come down from an over-reaction to outside stimulus, like an argument or someone honking their horn at me. Where I would normally retreat inwards, panic, shut down, and it would take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour (and one time, three hours) to get me to calm down, I now just get frustrated for a minute or two and it passes.

 I haven't really been enjoying the body feels though. When I started all I felt was "cracky". My eyes would be all buggy and dilated, and I would have insane mood swings. Laughing one second and crying the next kind of mood swings. Jaw clenching, terrible feels, it felt like I was coming down off of some icky MDMA. Even though they've since dwindled to almost unnoticeable, I still get muscle spasms and I have trouble sleeping through the night. I'll wake up and just roll around moaning for about 15 minutes. It's manageable, and getting lesser, but still not fun. I am absolutely for sure not going to miss a single dose.

I also have been self medicating the body feels with minuscule amounts of marijuana. I've heard that can cause Serotonin Syndrome if you're not careful, which is not a fun thing to have. I think I accidentally gave myself serotonin shock the first day I was on it by smoking just a pinch too much. I knew my tolerance would have been cut down drastically but I didn't realise it would be by that much. That felt scary. I was laying on my boyfriend's lap just PANICKING and sweating bullets until it passed. Usually my panic attacks have a trigger but this one was just completely unfounded. I've since figured out the right amount to have to get me just to threshold, and it seems to be doing the trick in regards to the muscle spasms, although I wouldn't want to do it at work, as the intoxicating effects are almost threefold. 

   For hours, Iris sat above and watched large groups of men come in and out of her woods. She had known reasoning them being there, because she was the one who had left clues to help them find it.

   The night before a tragedy had accorded, three innocent people had lost their lives. The scene was one that would make even the most harden of men look away in disgust, she herself could not even look upon such a sight. The victims had been a family, two adults and a young child, out enjoying a weekend camping together. One moment they laughed at one another's jokes, the next they were all dismembered in a matter of seconds. Their body parts twisted in the tree branches as if the environment itself had ripped them a part. The most terrifying thing about it was, it wasn't the first time this had happened.

        -Why-