#snowbound

So remember Kristy sending that letter to the editor of the Stoneybrook News, seeing if she could get the BSC’s snow saga in the paper? Well not only did the editor like the idea, the article is going to be printed and the paper is going to PAY Kristy! WHAT?!

Like, this is days after the storm, none of their stories were super newsworthy except maybe Stacey. The storm itself is stale news by this point. The BSC should know that, they use “stale” as one of their slang terms. I’m just…why? But they’re the darlings of Stoneybrook, so I’m sure the town will love reading about them no matter what.

Since this is the epilogue, let’s go through what each member said.

Mary Anne - She says Logan stayed with her and the Pikes until Dee and John came home. And his food delivery was what they had for lunch so she was grateful for that. She’s concerned about Kristy sharing ALL the details about her and Logan in the article too. She says the dance was wonderful, calling it “dreamy.” “Kristy, you don’t want all the details, do you? They’re private. Logan and I had fun, that’s all.” Uh…what happens at the dance, stays at the dance, I guess.

Dawn - She says Jeff is over his travel ordeal and they all took long naps when they got home from the airport. And turns out her big crush on Price Irving? She completely forgot about him when she was so concerned about Jeff. She says maybe Price isn’t as important to her after all. I do remember her calling him boring in another book so I guess he wasn’t such an amazing date.

Claudia - Lots of misspellings, too much to even single out. She played in the snow all day Thursday with the Perkins girls and says Jamie Newton and some other kids came over to play. Uh, Jamie’s four, what’s he doing heading over to his neighbor’s house on his own? Claudia says she kept an eye on all the kids from inside since she had to sit with the baby. You left a bunch of children, including two preschoolers, unattended? Claudia! You couldn’t put Laura in a snowsuit or in her stroller and sit on the front steps or something? Also, she says she and Iri had a “grate” time at the dance and she thinks “mabe” she likes him more than just a friend. Too bad we never hear from him again after this.

Jessi - Presented in its entirety. “Heaven. I’m in heaven. The dance was wonderful. Quint is wonderful. Life is wonderful.” Girl, you’re 11! Between Jessi’s passionate message and Mary Anne wanting to keep things private, what was going on at the dance for the BSC?!

Mallory - Mallory says her parents got home at the right time because she and Mary Anne were getting sick of her siblings. Sick of babysitting? Blasphemy! “If the storm had canceled the dance, I would have…well, I’m not sure what I would have done, but it would have been drastic.” She just wants to be seen in public with other people, dammit! She’s also happy Ben didn’t care that she isn’t a great dancer. Ah, teenage love.

Stacey - Stacey apologizes again for scaring everyone. She says she and her mom sent a Christmas card to the Schiavones as a thank you and got one back. Maureen plans on inviting them to dinner next month. She’s also grateful she and her mom grew closer through the whole ordeal. Oh, and she calls out Austin for wearing aftershave even though he doesn’t shave. Ouch. Though, typical teenage boy behavior.

Kristy - She says she and Bart had fun at the dance. In more typical teenage boy behavior, Bart showed the other boys how to turn their eyelids inside out. Gross. Kristy even wore makeup for the dance, saying it took her nearly two hours to do it all. Geez, how much did she put on? And after all that worrying about corsages, she got Bart a blue carnation and he got her an orchid. No concerns about colors clashing anymore.

Oh, and one last part from Karen. She found Emily Junior. David Michael ratnapped her. Also, Karen writes in all-caps and I always thought that was weird for a 7-year-old.

We end with a picture of the girls at the dance. Lots of 90s fashion galore.

Claudia looks the best, she actually managed to put together a super cute outfit! Good on you, Claudia!

Stacey says in her journal entry she felt like she was in an episode of The Twilight Zone as they headed down a lonely dark road. Either she and Maureen were approached by a very kind stranger, the kind stranger is actually a serial killer or he’s taking them to a castle full of eccentric partygoers who are going to teach them how to Time Warp.

Appropriate song for the BSC series since they’re stuck in a time warp.

Stacey, understandably, is hesitant about getting into a stranger’s car with her mom, even if he is promising that he and his wife will gladly host them for the night. But considering the alternative, freezing to death on the side of the road in their car that’s now out of gas, she and Maureen follow him.

The man introduces himself as Ken Schiavone and says he and his wife and baby son live further down the road in a Victorian house. As they turn down a dark road, Stacey thinks, “This is it. He’s taking us deep into the woods and Mom and I will never be seen again.” I don’t know, if he wanted to kill you, wouldn’t he have done it before letting you into his car? Less spreading of DNA.

As Stacey is panicking in the backseat, they instead arrive at a beautiful house straight out of a Hallmark Channel movie, all decorated for Christmas. They get inside and Mrs. Schiavone is sitting by the fireplace, reading The Night Before Christmas to baby Mason.

Stacey gives herself her insulin in the bathroom and then sits down to read to Mason. Ken says he loves to be read to and Stacey is happy because now she has a special tidbit to share with the BSC that babies like being read to. Always thinking of the BSC!

Stacey’s relieved that she had nothing to worry about because the Schiavones are very kind and welcoming to her and her mom. They even let her put Mason to bed! Geez, mention you love babysitting and they put you right to work. Stacey, of course, wishes they lived closer to Stoneybrook so she could babysit.

By the next morning, Ken measures the snowfall - two-and-a-half feet of snow. The plows come through and Maureen calls AAA and they head home on the highway, where everything is completely cleared.

An hour later, they arrive home and Stacey’s surprised to find Claudia on their front porch. Was she camped out there all morning, holding vigil? Claudia runs to Stacey and hugs her, happy she’s alive and says “we were scared to death.” Claudia keeps using the royal “We” so I assume she’s talking about the BSC.

Stacey is surprised anyone realized they weren’t home. I mean, you have the Pikes’ house staring at your backyard.

Claudia immediately calls Kristy, because Supreme Leader must know where all her sitters are. After she hangs up, she says school AND the dance will be on tomorrow. How does she know? “Kristy just talked to that kid she knows - the one whose mother is on the school board.” Who, Bart? He goes to Stoneybrook Day School, why would his mom be on the school board for the public schools? Or does Kristy have a mystery friend we don’t know about?

With Jeff’s plane rerouted to Washington DC, Dawn and her mom are stuck at the airport waiting because the airport is closed and the roads are too dangerous to drive home. Dawn finds herself checking her watch every few minutes before Sharon gets her to stop and read her book.

After returning from the bathroom, Sharon falls asleep in her chair. Dawn makes sure to remark she’s snoring too. Maybe she brought some of her secret stash with her and that’s why she’s zonked out.

Sleep doesn’t come easy to Dawn though. A few hours later around midnight, Dawn asks the airline employee when Jeff’s plane will come in and she says around 7 a.m. She goes off duty around 2 a.m. and then Dawn asks the guy taking her place when the plane will land. Like it’s going to change in the span of two hours? The guy tells her before noon and Dawn is miffed with his answer. Dawn always seems to be miffed about something.

Finally, Dawn nods off. But she’s awakened when she feels someone staring at her and then someone touches her hand! Oh shit! Is it the Abominable Snowman? No, she opens her eyes and it’s…a baby. Geez, the BSC can’t help but encounter kids everywhere! Like how they always end up babysitting when they’re on vacation.

Dawn recognizes the baby from the family who was sleeping in their chairs across from her and Sharon. His frantic dad then comes running up, carrying a diaper bag, saying Carter ran off while he was taking him to the bathroom.

She and Carter’s dad talk until Carter falls asleep and then Dawn finally ends up falling asleep shortly after that. She wakes up again around 7 a.m. to find the airport reopened and outside covered in snow.

As Dawn angsts about how gross she must look, Sharon reassures her, “Well, nobody here is a raving beauty.” You heard it here, everyone - Sharon thinks everyone at the airport is ugly!

While they have breakfast, Sharon gives Dawn the rundown. The snow stopped, 25 inches fell at the airport, Jeff is now due to arrive at 11:15 a.m., the phones are working again so she was able to call Richard, Richard did not hear from Jeff since Stoneybrook lost power and phones, she was unable to talk to Jeff but another flight attendant did and said while Jeff was upset, he was doing ok.

I just realized we don’t know what airport they’re at. It can’t be one of the NY ones since the gift shop they went to had Connecticut souvenirs. Are they at Bradley up in Hartford? That’s super out of the way from where Stoneybrook is. Why am I trying to find logic in a BSC book?

At 11:15 a.m., the flight FINALLY touches down and everyone cheers. Dating the book like whoa, Dawn and Sharon head to the gate to greet Jeff and they all burst into tears. Jeff is shocked they waited at the airport all night for him. Come on Jeff, I know you and Dawn argue sometimes but this is your mom and sister!

Jeff, being the excited 10-year-old he is, says he got to order ROOM SERVICE at the hotel! Hey, if it was on the airline’s dime, live it up. So for breakfast, he got toast and hash browns and fries. Talk about carb overload! Dawn jokes it’s very well-balanced but if this was later series Dawn, she’d tell Jeff he was eating junk and start lecturing him on the dangers of fatty food.

Pretty boring illustration but just like all the girls, Dawn looks like she’s in college here and not 13. Jeff looks on the young side but he’s 10.

Jeff also said he was allowed to keep the shoehorn in his hotel room and he’s going to give it to Richard for Christmas. Which is a pretty typical Christmas gift from a 10-year-old boy. They get home without trouble and Jeff chats the whole time, clearly his fears from earlier in the book were for nothing.

Kristy spends her journal entry ranting about beauty standards, saying how girls have to do makeup and curl their hair and all that jazz. She says it’s boring and she sometimes wishes she were born a boy because Charlie and Sam don’t have to do all that. So why would she bring this up?

Because they couldn’t get the door of the mansion open during the blizzard, Bart is spending the night and Kristy has been up most of the night in panic mode because she doesn’t want Bart to see her in her pajamas first thing in the morning. She also worries he might sleepwalk into her room so she keeps her door locked most of the night. Oooh, she’s worried about her ~boyfriend~ so she sets her alarm for 5:30 a.m.

“I was not about to let Bart catch me with morning breath, sleepy eyes and bed hair.” Girl, then just brush your hair, brush your teeth and get dressed!

Kristy sneaks down the hall to the bathroom and decides now is the time she will shave her legs for the first time ever. She finds an electric razor under the sink and the power’s returned so she goes to town on her legs. A dry shave? Ouch, her legs are going to be so itchy the rest of the day.

Kristy is annoyed that even after shaving her legs, they look pretty much the same but feel naked. Welcome to being a woman, Kristy.

She then takes a shower, despite concern that the old pipes make a lot of noise and will probably wake people up. Hold that thought.

When she gets out, she finds Charlie’s hairdryer and blow dries her hair. This after she complains that Charlie and Sam don’t have to worry about grooming, she reveals Charlie owns a hairdryer. Then she digs out a curling iron. Is that Charlie’s too?

Ok, seriously. If she’s so paranoid about Bart seeing her first thing in the morning, why didn’t she just shower, blow dry her hair, get dressed and call it a day? Instead she tries curling her hair and says it ends up looking like limp macaroni and looks even worse when she adds a headband. The BSC makes everything so difficult.

Kristy then decides it’s makeup time but the only makeup she owns is mascara and powder blush and it isn’t worth it sneaking into her mom’s bathroom to raid her makeup stash. That goes on too and she decides she looks great, apart from the macaroni hair.

She says she’s spent an hour-and-a-half on her beauty routine and, oops, now she isn’t the only one up. She unlocks the door and Sam, who’s waiting outside, is like “FINALLY.” Geez, the mansion doesn’t have any other bathrooms when it has at least nine bedrooms? What is this, the Brady Bunch?

Kristy wants to know why Sam’s up so early on a snow day and he says he wants to enjoy every minute with no school. He also remarks that Kristy “never acts like such a girl” and he was hoping they wouldn’t have to deal with this until Karen turned 13.

“By which time you’ll be 21 and not living here anymore, I hope,” responds Kristy. BURN!

Kristy, all of a sudden realizing she doesn’t want her brother to see her all dolled up, asks if he can go back to his room for a sec. But they have company! David Michael is also in the hallway and says he has to GO. Kristy tells him to use his own bathroom but he says this one is closer.

Well, she has no choice now. Kristy opens the door and goes into the hallway. David Michael runs into the bathroom, laughing, and Sam says, “Wrong holiday, Kristy. Christmas is coming, not Halloween.” BURN! Though she only has mascara and blush on. Did she put on that much? Does she have the 80s bright pink blush stripes across her face?

By the time Kristy heads down to breakfast, everyone knows about the makeover she gave herself, thanks to her brothers spilling the tea. Kristy says she and her friends have learned that girls AND boys gossip and this is so true. Conveniently, she’s seated next to Bart.

Charlie says “Nice outfit” and Kristy can’t tell if he’s being serious or sarcastic because she thought she put together a nice outfit. And then doesn’t tell us what she’s wearing and there’s no illustration! See, this is what I want to see a picture of, not Logan on his cross-country skis outside Chez Pike.

Sam says “Nice hair” and David Michael says “Nice makeup” and giggles at her. Sam then asks Watson the Millionaire if they can put a timer on the bathroom. “There should be a 60-minute limit on primping.” Ouch, Kristy is getting dragged for filth here.

Sam then turns to Andrew and says in his best Mr. Rogers impression, “Do you know what primping is, Andrew?” and Andrew obviously doesn’t know. “It’s making yourself beautiful.”

To make matters worse, Andrew responds, “For your…~boyfriend~?” Geez, even Andrew is teasing her and he barely even talks.

Kristy, who’s had enough, cries out, “Mom!” Elizabeth then says, “Sam!” And Sam turns to Andrew and says, “Andrew!” And Andrew, thinking he has to talk to someone too, chooses his younger sister and says, “Emily!”

In a true sitcom moment, everyone laughs, including Kristy. And Bart whispers to Kristy that she looks beautiful, I’m guessing in an attempt to humor her. Kristy decides if Bart can weather her family and her siblings teasing them, they can get through anything.

After breakfast, Kristy calls Mary Anne and is shocked to learn neither she nor Dawn are home, since they’re stuck at the Pikes’ and the airport. Then she calls Mallory and Claudia and is surprised to learn Mallory’s the only one who’s still at her own home. I know, someone willingly called Mallory.

Mallory asks her to call Stacey since no one’s been able to get a hold of her. Kristy calls the McGills’ and there’s no answer. Mallory, if no one is able to get into contact with Stacey and the only number you can call is her house, where no one is picking up, and you can SEE into her house and none of the lights are on, what makes you think it’ll be different when Kristy calls? Will her BSC mind control make Stacey somehow be able to respond when she isn’t home?

Also, she calls the Ramseys’ and Becca tells her Jessi and Quint are at the dance school and seems mindblown that they got to eat at a restaurant that morning. Little kids are so easily amused. She says John (Mr. Ramsey, need to clarify since so many BSC dads are named John) will pick them up once the plows clear the roads.

Kristy calls Claudia in amazement about all the situations the BSC found themselves in and says someone should write about them. Kristy, getting stuck at the airport or in your house during a blizzard is not a newsworthy story. Even if it happened to the BSC.

By Thursday morning, Mary Anne and the Pikes are scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to food. Mary Anne says they ate almost everything in the fridge and cabinets but even that wasn’t quite a lot. The ends of two loaves of bread, some apples, tea without milk. Byron eats the last piece of bologna and Adam is the only one who’s pretty much satisfied because he has a chicken TV dinner for breakfast.

Margo suggests they make spaghetti and top it with the chocolate frosting and everyone is grossed out. Mallory points out there’s still vegetables in the freezer but Jordan says he’d rather have Margo’s spaghetti.

Mary Anne says this is Thursday morning but doesn’t mention what time. Either way, Mallory says maybe Pizza Express is open. In the morning? In the aftermath of a blizzard? The phones and electricity are back on, so Mary Anne calls Pizza Express. No answer.

Undeterred, Mary Anne calls Chicken Wings (“Speedy delivery and service with a fryer”). Also no answer. She then tries a Japanese restaurant, Tokyo House, even though they don’t open until noon and “Margo won’t touch Oriental food.”

I know this is 1991 but ORIENTAL?!

And obviously, no answer. Why call when you know they aren’t open?

Mary Anne finally calls Chez Maurice, which is Stoneybrook’s fancyass restaurant, even though she isn’t sure they even do delivery. But it doesn’t matter because guess what - no answer. I mean, unless any of these restaurants are serving breakfast, why would they be open in the morning? Let alone after a BLIZZARD?

In what I assume is a last resort, Mary Anne calls Logan. He picks up and the first thing she says is, “I’m hungry.” Which I hope Logan doesn’t take as a double entendre for anything.

Logan apologizes and Mary Anne gives him a rundown of the past day. Logan says at the Brunos’ house, they also lost phone service and electricity and he and his family played Monopoly by the fireplace last night. Mary Anne says that sounds cozy and they should have thought of building a fire but Mallory shoots that shit down, saying they only would have been allowed if the heat went out. The Pike parents are so easygoing (except when it comes to Mallory asking for sparkly sweatshirts or contacts), they’ll let their 11-year-old daughter build a fire while they aren’t home!

Trying to make conversation, Mary Anne asks Logan if he can BELIEVE Pizza Express isn’t open. Logan, thinking like all of us, responds, “You’re kidding! The pizza place is closed at nine o’clock in the morning when we’re snowed in and the plows haven’t come through yet? What a shock.”

I know Logan can be kind of a dick sometimes but he does have a good sense of humor. Also, it’s NINE in the morning and Mary Anne was calling all these restaurants? Oh my god. Most pizza places don’t open until like 11 for the lunch crowd.

Mary Anne tries to defend herself, saying she only had a tiny bowl of instant oatmeal for breakfast. After briefly talking to Byron for some reason, Logan gets Mary Anne back on the phone and is about to suggest something when she cuts him off and says Stacey’s house is still dark and she should try calling her. Mallory also says they should call Richard to see if he heard from Sharon and Dawn.

Logan and Mary Anne hang up and she tries Stacey again. No answer. Mallory asks if she’s sure she called the right number (she’s the club secretary, I assume she knows everyone’s number by heart, MALLORY) so Mary Anne calls again. As expected, there’s no answer.

Mary Anne then calls her dad and asks for Dawn. He explains she and Sharon got trapped at the airport when Jeff’s plane got rerouted and he only just heard from them that morning. Before she can say anything else, the doorbell rings. Wait - if she’s on the phone with Richard, then who’s at the door when none of the roads have been plowed yet? Oh shit, maybe Adam was right and it is the Abominable Snowman!

No, this is who it is:

Logan, who actually looks like a 13-year-old instead of a college student like everyone else in this book, skied over to the Pikes’ with a backpack full of food. Sorry Quint, looks like you’ve got competition for most dedicated boyfriend.

Later, he and the Pikes and Mary Anne are sitting around the kitchen table, which is loaded up with bananas, peanut butter, bread, crackers and carrot sticks. I hope the kids make sure Dee never forgets that she left them in the care of babysitters with almost no food.

Mary Anne ponders if the Winter Wonderland Dance will be canceled and Logan guesses it probably will be, since the snow is so deep. Mallory, frantic, says it CAN’T be canceled! “Ben and I can’t wait until next week!” Why, are you planning to dump pig’s blood on someone’s head? Instead of Mallory being the one it happens to, because you know it would be her.

Mallory lets her siblings out to play in the snow and she realizes it’ll be ok if the dance is canceled, since this snow could be a once-in-a-lifetime thing, “What with global warming and all.” Mallory, now that we know more about climate change, it’s more like the opposite, there’s more catastrophic weather now.

As the Pike Army builds a sledding track in the yard, Logan skis over to the McGills’ and rings the doorbell and knocks on the kitchen door. He comes back and says no one answered and their car is gone. Mary Anne, worried, asks if they should call Claudia. Mallory, making up for her freakout about the dance, says that’ll just worry Claudia and Stacey and her mom probably got stuck somewhere like Dawn did. I mean, without cellphones, they really have no way of getting into contact with them.

In her journal entry, Jessi takes an optimistic approach and says she’s proud of the little kids at her dance school for handling being stranded there pretty well. She even says it was fun! I thought some of those kids, especially Holly, sounded terrified, but there you go. Jessi’s probably just happy because she knows Quint is safe.

By 9 p.m. Wednesday, the younger kids start getting restless so Jessi figures it’s bedtime. Thankfully, while the phones went out, Stamford still has electricity.

As Jessi vents to Quint over how worried she is about everyone, especially because her parents and Quint’s parents probably don’t know where he is, he comments that he didn’t know she was such a worrier. When Jessi asks if he is, he says he’s just relieved he’s safe and, “If my parents want to worry, that’s their choice.” Bro, you’re 11. You’re a year older than the Pike triplets and they act like they’re 7 years old.

They go to talk to Mme Noelle and before she can say anything in her garbled French accent, Jessi says the kids should probably be going to bed soon. Jessi offers to help settle them down, saying she babysits, and Quint offers his assistance too because he has experience helping with his brother and sister.

Mme Noelle thanks “Jessica” and “Queent” for their offer and says she and the other teachers would appreciate it. I’m not typing out the phonetic French, it makes my eyes hurt just to look at it.

If you, like me, were wondering where the other dancers Jessi’s age are, she says they’re holed up in another room, basically treating the night like a slumber party. The BSC loves a slumber party but not when there’s kids to be taken care of! Jessi takes the girls to their changing room and Quint takes the boys to theirs and they help them get ready for bed.

Eventually, all the kids fall asleep and Jessi and Quint go to join the older dancers. Jessi’s friend Katie Beth teases her by offering some instant soup, which is the only food left, but Jessi says no one can stomach anymore of it.

The older kids go to bed in the other rehearsal room, with Mme Noelle sleeping in between the boys and girls on either side of the room. I assume so no naughtiness goes on, I’m surprised that was left in the book.

By 8 a.m., everyone’s up and the phones are working again and ringing off the hook. Turns out Quint was right and his parents weren’t super worried, they just assumed he and Jessi were at her house already.

The coffee shop across the street invites the dancers in for breakfast but since the streets aren’t plowed yet, Jessi says they had to wade through the snow to get there, which I’ve done before and it isn’t fun. She and Quint end up at a table for two and have some bran and raisin muffins. She says Dawn would be proud, Dawn would probably complain the raisins are still too sugary.

Oof, Claudia misspells “electricity” two different ways in her next journal entry. But she spells “disappearance” just fine. Go figure.

Myriah and Gabbie lead Claudia through the dark house to the rec room so they can get a flashlight out of the closet. With flashlight in hand, Claudia gets the girls to bed and promises to leave the flashlight on in the hallway as a nightlight, praying the batteries stay on.

We get an illustration too!

That’s kind of how I pictured Myriah and Gabbie, I don’t think we’ve ever seen them on a book cover before? Also, considering we always heard the Thomas’ old house was on the small side, it looks pretty big and cavernous in the illustration, though that’s probably from it being dark inside.

Even Claudia’s wearing a relatively normal outfit, apart from that necklace thing and the side ponytail. Where’s the orange stirrup pants and tye-dye sweatshirts?

With both girls in bed and Laura already asleep, Claudia heads downstairs to continue searching for Chewy. As she’s looking through the darkness, the doorbell rings and Claudia nearly jumps out of her skin. Oh shit, did the Abominable Snowman get lost heading to the Pikes’ house? No, it’s Claudia’s mom.

Rioko says she wanted to check in and Claudia says they’re fine but Chewy is missing. They both look around the house and open the front door and call for him outside but he’s nowhere to be found. Rioko offers to stay the night with Claudia but she says they’ll be alright and she’ll call in the morning if the phones are working again or bring the girls over since they’re just across the street.

Rioko leaves and Claudia heads to bed, staying in a spare bed in Myriah’s room. But it’s a restless sleep because she keeps waking up, listening for Chewy or baby Laura. Around 5 a.m., she wakes up again and Gabbie is there. She says she hears funny noises and wants to know what it is.

Sure enough, Claudia hears snuffling and scratching from the basement door. She opens it and, of course, it’s Chewy. Ok, Claudia made it sound like they searched the entire house but they didn’t think to look in the basement? Like, they even looked in Laura’s crib! Then again, this is Claudia. Logic isn’t one of her strong suits.

Claudia lets Chewy out in the backyard to use the bathroom, saying she threw her coat on over her nightgown. I thought Claudia wasn’t planning on spending the night, what’s she doing with a nightgown? Did Rioko bring it over for her? Does she travel with one in her purse at all times? Was the shirt she was wearing actually a nightgown that she just wears under her clothes, like they did in the 18th century?

By 5:30 a.m., the power and the phones come back on and Claudia puts on the radio. School is closed! Claudia calls her mom and Mr. Perkins calls, saying he and Mrs. Perkins will be home as soon as the roads are clear.