#snirthday

This year Harry is with you to celebrate, as it should be. I hope he gives you a good celebration, happy 62nd!

To celebrate Severus Snape's birthday, here's CHAPTER 22 of my fic "In Need".

“Severus, I’m warning you,” Harry said, and his voice sounded stern, but Severus didn’t understand.

Why couldn’t he keep playing? He was having so much fun, why did he have to stop?

“No, no wanna stop!” Severus shouted again, shaking his head.

“Sev please,” Harry said.

Then, he knelt in front of him, and Severus only needed to lift his face to look him in the eye. He shook his head again.

“Severus, this is my second warning,” Harry said “I don’t want you to spend the entire day playing with trains. Let’s eat, have a break and then you can come back and play.”

“NO!” Severus said and crossed his arms in front of him in defiance.

“Sev. I’m not asking you” Harry answered “I’m telling you to take a break. I promise I’ll let you play later.”

“I SAID NO!”

And then, in a fit of madness, he threw away the train he still held in his other hand against Harry’s face.

Harry was very close, so despite his quick reflexes, he had staggered backwards and had no time to duck. The sick thud could be heard in the entire room.

For a second, everything stopped. Severus swallowed, frozen, and he instinctively knew that he’d busted it. Harry was looking at him with narrowed eyes, his hand covering the cheek that had been hit by the toy.

“Okay, that’s enough, young man,” Harry said, and his voice was stern.

Severus couldn’t move, his arms frozen in the air. He was suddenly very, very scared, and wanted to flee but his legs didn’t obey him.

“I told you to stop and you didn’t listen. Besides this” he continued, gesturing at his cheek that was beginning to rapidly redden. Severus felt a sudden rush of shame invade him. “So, you are going to be punished.”

Punished?

Severus felt his heart stop and he froze in his place, unable to move. Then, his heart started to beat faster and faster, he heard a loud ringing in his ears, and his gaze went fuzzy.  Did that mean...? No, Harry said he wouldn’t, would he? He promised!

But of course, that had changed. Severus had hit the man. Hurt him. If he was brave enough to hit him, even if it was with a toy, why shouldn’t he be granted the same privilege? Never mind that he’d promised he would never lay a finger on him, promises meant nothing when he’d broken the deal first.

Only barely containing his tears, he glanced at Harry. He was still wearing his belt, but he had taken out his wand, which was held in his hand.

“Come with me,” he said and started to walk towards the bedroom.

Severus got up and walked, keeping his distance away from him. Harry had brandished his wand and the chair had moved to face a corner of the room, and there was a big timer on the wall.

Harry stood right in front of Severus.

“Look at me,” he said.

Severus blinked and glanced at him. Harry’s posture was stern. He had his arms crossed behind his back, grabbing his hands as he did so. He was looking at him through narrowed eyes and they were looking at him almost without blinking.

“Now, I told you to have a break from playing but you didn’t listen to me. I warned you twice, and you still didn’t listen” he said. Severus felt dread settling in his stomach and sniffled “so, this is what’s going to happen. You will sit on this chair, alone, for ten minutes.”

He flicked his wand, and the timer was set for ten minutes.

“During this time I want you to think about everything you did wrong, and what you could’ve done to make it better,” he said.

Harry took a step back, and Severus felt cold inside. His instincts kicked in, and he took a step towards Harry, grabbing his clothes.

“No... n-no, p’eas!” Severus pleaded, unable to keep quiet.

Harry’s hands grabbed him and pried his hands away from him.

“No, Severus. You not only didn’t listen to me, but you also hurt me. Hitting is not allowed, and this is what happens when you don’t behave” he said as he gestured to his reddened cheek “I want you to sit here, calm down and think. After these ten minutes, I will come and get you. You can’t move from here unless it’s an emergency. Okay?”

Severus tried, he really tried, but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes, feeling the tears fall and roll down his cheeks and nodded once. With his head bowed and in silence he walked to the chair and sat down, hearing the squishy sound of the nappy under his bum.

It was wet.

He squirmed in his seat, feeling even more shameful and horrible than before; since he hadn’t realized he’d wetted. It must’ve been when he got scared, thinking Harry would belt him. He had been wrong once that Harry wouldn’t hit him, but he couldn’t be sure...

He heard Harry’s steps retreat and the door closing. Once he was alone, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. More tears escaped his eyes, one after the other.

He was stupid, why, why hadn’t he listened?! He’d been idiot enough to keep going, to keep probing Harry and pushing him, he hadn’t done what he was telling him to do, and he’d even hit him! It had been an instinctual reaction, he hadn’t meant to hurt Harry, but he’d done it. And now what?

Now, Harry could do anything with him, and he was powerless.

What hurt Severus wasn’t that, though, he was quite used to being at someone else’s mercy. No... what hurt him was to know that he’d misbehaved so badly that Harry was in the other room, away from him. What tortured him was that the Gryffindor had resorted to keeping him away, to take him out of sight, and here he was, all alone. And all, because of him.

What if he left? What if he’d had enough? What if... he didn’t want to do anything to do with him anymore?

No... Harry would never do that, he thought he said he would come and get me!

Harry had shown time and time again that he was trustworthy, that he wasn’t going to abandon him. That he was here to stay. He wouldn’t leave, would he?

Oh, but you had never behaved like a spoiled brat before. You even hit him!

At that moment, Severus curled up on his chair, his knees against his chest. Ashamed of what he was and what he’d done, feeling something akin to pain twisting in his insides, he hid his face in his arms.

And he sobbed. He sobbed for what felt like a long time, feeling the flood of tears continue their relentless fall down his cheeks. Not a single sound emerged from his lips, and he sat there, alone and miserable.