#snapewife

About snapewives. I find it derogatory to say the least. Snapewives to me are simply like any other fan who is absolutely crazy about their idol out there.

Those fans that self ship, the fans like me who make them horny af, the fans that protect their idol, even the sports fans that religiously follow their ideal athlete.

Snapeism, its basically what were all doing now anyway. Google says, snapeism is following snape like its a guide, instead of an astral projection.

Well, many of us cant stand kids.

Many of us are ride or die for our friends.

Many of us suffer under toxic relationships yet cannot find a way out.

Many of us were bullied and dont know how to handle that.

Many of us were failed by the system and are absolutely bitter towards it, even showing distrust to other people.

Many of us were poor and neglected or abused as a child.

Many of us wouldn't excuse kids for insolent and unfair behavior.

That people labeled it something now, is alright. But I've met countless of people online and in real life that act like snape anyway. I mean, the Rowling fandom itself is to me acting like snape. Bitter about their fanfic oc world not being true canon, becoming defensive when their fragile world breaks by a simple canon sentence. That's all snape, snape who defends himself, who resents others because a system failed him.

I dont like labeling myself. I'm considered a crazy fan for liking snape anyway. I mean, I simply said I liked snape and I was called a nazi. I stated my hatred towards lily and marauders, yet I am a mysoginist. Mytoxity or something and I were labeled crazy fans for cussing stans for their bs.

I dont romantically see myself involved with snape, only characters of the hp verse. I hate basically everyone aside luna and percy, neville is neutral but I adore snape. I believe snapewife sees themselves as romantically involved too. I dont have anything against that.

Majority of people self ships. A lot has a quote or 10 from a movie or song they hold at heart and follow through. Snapewife and snapeism is confusing to me.

Now its used towards anyone that even remotely likes sev. If it isnt nazism, homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, mysogniy, racism, fascism or fathpohobic, its snapewife. See how the Rowling fandom have everything slur ready in their dictionary to degrade another, just like jkr degrading lgbtq basically.

Only snape fans i dislike are those that kind of agree with rowling fans. For example someone saying 'lily was stalked by snape' and a "snapefan" says 'i agree, it wasnt the best approach'. Basically half heartedly agreeing to bs of a rowling fan, to deescalate things even though it isnt true, or talk to other snapefans to talk less. I've met a few if those here and on reddit.

Run, regret, repeat. Burn calories and maybe find Snape.

I usually have one of those long Hogwarts Walking Tour clips running in the background while I'm working—it's atmospheric, it's vaguely productive, and occasionally delusional. I've even seriously considered buying a foldable treadmill just to slide it under the sofa like it's a secret shame. Sure, I know VR Hogwarts exists. But it’s always the serene kind, isn’t it? Quiet castle, ambient music, just vibes. And I thought—what if it wasn’t? What if it were absolutely unhinged? What if we turned cardio into chaos? Hence, a series of delightfully absurd VR fitness modes that might—just might—finally get me to exercise. (But only if I don’t have to leave the house.)

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Strolls, Stealth & Spite

🕯️ Night Patrol (Low-Intensity / 80–100 bpm)

Role: Professor, Prefect, Head Girl/Boy

Walk slowly through castle corridors after curfew

Bonus points for pausing near stained glass and sighing dramatically

Includes optional Rule Breaker detection: spot and chase stealth students mid-stroll

Catching one deducts House points and earns a cardio spike of vindication

💥 Rule Breaker (Stealth Walk)

Goal: Get from your dormitory to a randomly assigned location without being caught

Avoid Filch, Peeves, creaky steps, and professors with sharp observational skills

Cloak optional. Breath control, essential

⚖️ Patrol vs. Breaker (Multiplayer Mode)

Mode: Two-player competitive stealth & pursuit

Night Patrol player: assigned to roam set paths and detect movement

Rule Breaker player: must sneak to assigned locations without being caught

Each player sees only their own role's map; Patrol has limited vision cones

Ends when the chosen round timer (10, 20, 30 mins) runs out or a successful capture occurs

Bonus: yelling "POTTER!" optional but encouraged

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HIIT (Highly Inconvenient Internal Turmoil)

🔪 Dungeon HIIT: Troll in the Dungeon

Role: Terrified First-Year

Sprint from dungeons to Great Hall

Optional heart rate spikes from random sound triggers

🐍 Dungeon HIIT v.2: Chamber Run

Role: Desperate Second-Year

Sprint through narrow pipes into the Chamber of Secrets

Includes balance sections, sliding mechanics, and panic cues

Boss-level finish: basilisk proximity = max heart rate zone

🕷️ HIIT Bonus: Follow the Butterflies

Role: Panicked Best Friend

Ron wanted to follow the butterflies. Ended up running for your life from Aragog’s children

Distance: Unknown. Just run

Goal: Escape the Forbidden Forest before you're webbed into cardio oblivion

Unlocks only after completing both Dungeon HIIT modes

🪄 Ministry Mayhem HIIT (Battle Mode)

Scene: Department of Mysteries, Hall of Prophecy Choose your allegiance:

With Harry: dodge spells, rescue friends

With Death Eaters: chase Harry, set traps (like Mario Kart chaos)

Heart rate zone 3+ guaranteed

🌲 Relentless Flight: Forest of Dean Run

Role: One of the Golden Trio (likely Harry, but with Hermione's cardio)

Run through the woods, evading Death Eaters

Minimum heart rate: Zone 3 — drop below, and you're at risk of capture

Choose your endurance goal: 10, 20, 30, or 45 minutes

Random panic spikes triggered by crackling twigs, distant spells, or Ron shouting from nowhere

Bonus: Slightly increased shame for tripping on roots

🧪 I'm Late for Potions (Mid to High Intensity)

Goal: Get to Dungeon Classroom before Snape closes the door

Choose starting points:

Great Hall → Dungeon (Warm-up jog)

Bell Tower Courtyard → Dungeon (Steady run)

Grand Staircase → Dungeon (Winding path, no shortcuts allowed)

Hogwarts Gate → Dungeon (Endurance sprint)

Hogsmeade End → Dungeon (Obstacle mode: weekend crowd vs weekday ease)

Late = Detention. Repeat 3x = Lockout 3 days

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Leisurely Regret Routes

🏃‍♂️ Hogwarts House Marathon

Goal: Run laps around Hogwarts grounds

Choose distances: 3KM, 5KM, 10KM, 15KM, 20KM

Gain badges: Fat Friar Finish, Ravenclaw Rhythm, Gryffindor Glory, Slytherin Spite

🛷 Hogsmeade Rally (Outdoor Route Mode)

Goal: Traverse the winter trail from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts—the long way

Choose terrain: Slush, Ice, or Cobblestone Madness

Avoid slipping, tripping, and being tempted by Honeydukes mid-route

Bonus if you make it back to the castle without buying a single thing (doubly hard in multiplayer)

Optional: Carry a paper bag from Zonko’s as resistance weight

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Snapewife Mode: Expanded Universe

🪞 Snapewife Mode: Free Roam

Walk for minimum 30 min inside castle to "possibly" encounter Snape

He moves randomly; you must wander with purpose

🔍 Snapewife Radar Mode

Mini map shows where Snape was 10 seconds ago

No fast travel, no Apparition. Find him before he disappears again

🔥 Anti-Snilly Sweep

Your mission: Find Lily & Severus and separate them

Must walk entire castle until both are spotted

Bonus: Optional mini-game dialogue to derail the ship

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🪑 Judging is Cardio

Unlocks only after completing all other modes and difficulty levels above; shame and emotional exhaustion must be fully accumulated before this passive-aggressive cardio can be initiated

Role: Professor McGonagall (with Severus Snape)

Stand beside him and silently judge Lockhart through an entire class period

You cannot cast spells, move, or speak

Only permitted action: smirking in sync with Snape

Burn calories through pure disdain

Passive points earned: +1 Sarcasm, +2 Smirk Timing, +3 Internal Eye-roll Control

Bonus Features:

All modes track distance, heart rate, and shame

Unlockable soundtracks: Duel of the Fates (String Quartet Edition), Snape’s Footsteps in a Corridor at 2AM, and Slytherin Common Room Lofi Mix

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It's easy to ignore the sun when the darkness creeps inside your mind like a warm welcoming shroud that protects you of the lack of discretion of the sun..

Join me to the dungeons for a dark, forbidden Bisexual Severus Snape fan fic

Obliviate on AO3