#snapecentric

And here you were now outside of his chambers, worry needling into you as the professor had now missed his second meal of the day. 

“Go away…!” You heard from the other side of the door, muffled and strained as a coughing fit followed.

“Severus, it’s me, Y/N.” There was no response this time, not even coughing, and instead of waiting for another curt dismissal you pushed open the doors to his chambers and stepped inside. 

Severus, who was slightly hunched over and trudging toward his kitchenette in an attempt to make himself tea with a blanket wrapped around his form, glared at the door when he heard it open and shut. A sheen of sweat had built on his forehead and it looked as though he hadn’t slept well, the pigment beneath his eyes a bit darker while his paleness was even lighter. His bones ached with each step he took in the cool dungeon air.

“I did not say you could come in,” he growled at you, though his eyes had slightly softened at your presence. You, however, looked back at him with just as much sternness, for you knew that right now he was all bark and no bite. Severus Snape was going through his infamous man-cold.

You’d known Severus for a long time, and both of you were from the same house, though you were one year younger than him. The two of you had bonded the following year after the untimely demise of his relationship with his former best friend. With both of you being the best brewers in your years, he held a mild level of respect for you and willingly offered you advice for your OWLs while he focused on his NEWTs. On top of this, the both of you were prone to injury, often treating yourselves or one another, that is when you managed to get Severus to let you. While he was picked on or got into fights, your injuries accumulated from Quidditch matches or simply practicing too hard. Being the only girl who was let on to the Quidditch team, you felt the need to prove yourself, especially when the other teams targeted you, deeming you as a weakness. Fortunately, that did not stop you from helping Slytherin win.

Once more, you were attempting to help the man since you returned into his life as a colleague four years ago, both of you now in your early thirties. Having known him for so long, you knew what was to come of this. Severus would go through three moods when he was sick. Stubbornness, whininess, and clinginess. It was a very predictable cycle as you were always the one to help him when he was sick. Once you get past his stubbornness, it will be easier to help him.

“I’m aware,” you simply replied back, stepping forward. “I was with Minerva after you missed the staff meeting. We both saw your owl. Consider yourself lucky that it is me down here and not her.”

Severus scowled to himself and turned his face away, his hair curtaining his expression. “I’m fine,” he grouched.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, you’re the absolute peak of health right now. You should totally be on the cover of Witches and Wizards Weekly.”

“I’m. Fine,” Severus snarled. “I don’t wish to be bothered, so kindly return to whatever other duties you have.”

“Severus, you missed both breakfast and lunch and you look like you just rolled out of bed. You’re not fine. You need food. Potions. And perhaps a ba—”

“For Merlin’s sake, woman!” he snapped defensively. “I’m not some sniffling weakling who will perish as if I’ve come down with the black plague! I don’t need your incessant worrying and mollycoddling! It’s bad enough I have to deal with this congestion, must I deal with you too? Leave!”

His outburst caused a tickle in his lungs to trigger another coughing fit into the crook of his elbow. You simply crossed your arms, face impassive as he stood there, abashed at the ill-timed coughing fit. This was nothing new for you, however. This was just the beginning of dealing with a sick Severus Snape.

“Are you done?” you questioned calmly, like a mother waiting for a child to finish up with their tantrum. “I’m not here to take away your autonomy, Severus. As always, I just want to help and I am not leaving until I get you better. The only way you are getting me out of here is by wrestling me through the doorway, and we both know I’m stronger than you at the moment.”

The man clenched his teeth, seething at your unwillingness to let him take care of himself as he scornfully swept back to the kitchenette to make himself tea, not wanting to deal with you at the moment.

You summoned his house elf, palming her the instructions to a soup recipe you had in mind when you heard Severus was ill. It was a soup that had always made you feel better when you were sick.

While Severus worked on making his tea, you idly examined the state of his office. By the looks of the papers and scrolls strewn about his desk, he had much grading to do this weekend. There was no way he’d be able to put a significant dent in it while in his current condition. Slipping quietly into his bedroom, you observed the way in which the covers were thrown eschew. A sweaty silhouette was imprinted on his sheets from where he laid fever-stricken, the duvet layers too much for him to handle with pajamas on. Crumpled tissues littered the bedside stand and you could see a thermometer that displayed his last recorded temperature around 102. With a wave of your wand, the used tissues vanished into nothingness, and a cleaning spell was applied to the surface of the nightstand. In a few minutes, you managed to get a new set of sheets onto his pillows and mattress and swapped out the duvet cover for a different one.

When you returned to the living area, he had just lowered himself down onto the couch with a mug carefully clasped in his hands and sniffing sharply every few seconds. Just then the house elf apparated in front of him, carefully placing the soup on the coffee table and disappearing once more. Severus cast a disparaging look at the meal before shifting that look to you.

“Chicken noodle,” you stated. “Eat it. It’s good for you.”

“I didn’t ask for this,” Severus derided.

You kept your tone forbearing as you moved toward his personal brewing station and opened various cabinet doors. “I know.” Bottles clinked against one another as your hand snaked between corked vials and remedies in search of head-ache relieving potions. When you found the ones he had in stock, you sighed when you saw that they were expired by now. Muttering to yourself, you begin to retrieve various ingredients.

“What are you doing with my potion ingredients?”

You didn’t look at him as you gathered a few brewing tools and filled a cauldron with water. “Eat your soup, Severus.”

His nostrils flared at you, nose scrunched up in both offense and defiance as he childishly refused the soup. However, he couldn’t help his rumbling stomach in any other way, the consequence of not eating his first two meals worsening his headache and making him feel more tired. You had positioned yourself so that you’d be brewing while facing away from him, hoping that it had the intended effect of encouraging him to eat while you had your back turned.

And to your relief, it had worked as a minute or so later you heard quiet slurping from behind you.

Your hands moved in rapid succession, finely chopping, grinding, and peeling various ingredients before plopping them into the cauldron. The sounds emanating from the brewing station were symphonic within the quiet office, you the conductor as you arranged and controlled them to your precise liking. You’d made a headache-relieving solution for him before, the usual symptoms of his colds being achy bones, shivering, congestion, and a headache. Severus remained slouched on the sofa, bowl of delicious soup, though he refused to comment so, resting on his stomach as he watched your figure working away at a potion. Based on what he could tell from the ingredients you had retrieved it looked to be something for his headache.

“Cold…” you heard muttering from behind you.

You did not take your eyes off your work. “You or the soup?”

“...Me.”

Flicking your hand behind you, a wandless ‘Incendio’ lit the fireplace, the flames roaring to life. While the heat wasn’t going to help his fever whatsoever, it would placate him and his shivering as you suspected he had now breached the whiny stage. 

Severus tugged the blanket around him tighter and shifted along the cushions toward the fire. “What’s taking you so long?” he grumbled.

“It needs to simmer,” you informed him softly. He glowered at that, his eyes following you as you disappeared into his bedroom once more.

In one of the bathroom cabinets you found a bottle of eucalyptus oil that you were certain would help with his congestion. With a few squeaky turns of the faucet handle the bath began filling with lukewarm water, not enough to heat him but just cool enough to help bring his temperature down without causing too much discomfort. The air quickly smelled like eucalyptus when the oil drops began to intermingle with the water. You adjusted the temperature slightly the more it filled up into the bath was full, the surface swirling ever so subtly with the oils and a thin layer of foamy soap from a small amount of body wash you added.

The potion was ready when you returned, feeling daggers thrown your way from Severus’s stare. You ladled some into a cup for him, turning around and looking at him expectantly. “Come and get it.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Just bring it over to me.”

You shook your head, saying, “No. You’ve got to get up anyway to get into the bath after you drink this.”

Severus rolled his eyes, exhaling in irritation before he, with some effort, was able to push himself up off the sofa and walk over sluggishly to you. He took the cup from you and eagerly guzzled the freshly brewed concoction, his head feeling a bit lighter within a matter of seconds of swallowing the potion. 

With a delicate touch, you gently placed a hand on his back and guided him toward his bathroom with, thankfully, no resistance on his end. 

“It’s filled up already. I put a bit of oil in there to help with your congestion. Holler if you need anything. Otherwise, try to stay there until you get too cold. I’ll be out in the living area.” 

The door to his bedroom clicked and he was alone once more. He sniffed heartily, slowly undressing from his pajamas which felt quite gross against his clammy skin, and was greeted with the smell of eucalyptus when he opened the bathroom door, the fragrance soothing his stuffy nose and relaxing the persistent tickle in his chest. As carefully as he could manage, he stepped inside the tub and lowered himself, sighing at the warmth of the temperature.

Being alone in the tub left him with nothing but his thoughts, sinking himself lower until his hair just barely touched the surface. For as long as he could remember he had always taken care of himself, refusing help from others as he did not want to be seen as weak. But, no matter how much he rebuked you, you’d always find a way to help, even if it was something as small as placing a bandaid on a cut when he had nicked himself with a potion’s knife in his seventh year. You were always so determined to help when he was indisposed and he was always determined to refuse even though you had a perfect record so far of pushing past his stubbornness and scaling his wall of self-preservation. No matter how big of a grumpy asshole he was to you, you had so much patience for him. Deep down he was immensely grateful for it.

When the water turned cold and he felt the shivers return, he pulled the drain plug and rose from the bath. Just the feeling of being cleaner improved his mood, even more so when he found a set of soft lounge clothes and socks waiting for him folded neatly on his bed.

His bed that now had a fresh pair of cool, clean sheets and a different duvet cover.

Your ears perked slightly at the sound of Severus’s bedroom door creaking open as you set aside another graded Potions paper. While he soaked, you had received a fever-relieving potion from Madame Pomphrey, organized his desk a little bit more, and started to tackle the assignments that needed grading. 

“What are you doing?” His voice was light, much calmer now in comparison to his sharp mulishness earlier. You ignored his question as soft footsteps approached you. 

“How do your sinuses feel?”

“They have improved,” he replied faintly.

“And your head? Chest?” He gave you an affirmative hum in response. Without looking up from the papers, you held out the potion to him. “Madam Pomphrey sent this. It’s a fever-reliever that should help regulate your temperature with a little bit of cough syrup mixed in there.” 

He took the potion from your hand and tipped the contents back into his mouth, setting the empty bottle by his workstation. A dull cooling sensation spread in the center of his forehead. You could feel his eyes settle back on to you, anticipating his clinginess to kick in at any moment now seeing that he was in a better state mentally and physically. 

“What are you doing?” Severus asked once more, placing a hand on the back of the chair, his fingers pressed against your shoulders. 

“A bit of your grading since you’re in no state to be doing so. You should be resting.”

“I won’t be able to fall asleep with that bloody soup in my stomach now,” he complained quietly.

“I didn’t say sleep, I said rest. Grab a book or something and go read in bed. I’ll be here if you need something.”

Dissatisfaction lapped at him, his lips pursing in indignation as he no longer wanted to be separated from you by a room. As if a switch flipped, his mind sought for you now, wanting you close, wanting you to care for him. His fingers moved forward, his whole hand settling on your shoulder.

“N..x t… m...” His voice was practically a whisper. 

You smirked coyly into your palm, but you did not show your cards. “What was that?”

His ears grew warmer and it wasn’t the fever’s doing. “Grade next to me,” he murmured. “In the bed.” You feigned a sigh, which made his fingers twitch in apprehension but was relieved when you pushed the chair back and stood up, grabbing a stack of papers with you. 

The two of you settled in on the bed, him beneath the covers and you on top. He had a little difficulty breathing through his nose when lying on his back, so he opted to lie on his side, facing away from you with a book levitating in front of him. Even though he couldn’t see you, knowing you were there and feeling the dip in the mattress behind him made him feel more relaxed, so relaxed in fact that almost half an hour later, you heard the sound of the book unceremoniously hitting the ground and soft snores coming from him. He had fallen asleep.

Time ticked on as you looked over paper after paper, the scratching of your quill and Severus’s occasional mumbling filling the air. You suspected he was having a fever dream, stirring every so often and quietly uttering incoherent words and phrases. You’d place a hand on his back to calm him, silencing him for some time before it started up again. At one point, he pushed himself up on his elbows and shifted on to his back, looking about the room like he was confused.

“Severus?” you said, seemingly gaining his attention. “Are you alright?”

He didn’t respond. His eyes were barely open, fluttering as he looked dumbly at you. You deduced that he was in a half-sleep state, probably still dreaming. What shocked you, however, was what he did next. Severus had shifted onto his other side so that his body was facing you, wrapping his arm around the middle of your thigh and spooning your leg with his forehead nuzzled against you.

“...love you…”

His soft snores filled the air once more. 

A sinking feeling of sadness filled your chest. “His words weren’t real. He is having a fever dream,” you told yourself. You had believed there was no possibility of him loving you, no matter how much you wanted it. His heart had died with Lily. He loved her so very much and you had heard from Slughorn a few years after you had graduated that Severus was a wreck when she had passed. You remember sending Severus letters wanting to meet only to never hear back from him, resourcing to find out how he was doing through others. 

After the first two years of being reunited with him, you fell in love. Though loving Severus Snape was like loving a defensively feral cat that was also whorishly attention-seeking, his attempts at veiling his perceived vulnerabilities amused you and you found his wit charming. Despite the friendship the both of you had reignited, you kept your feelings down when they had developed into something more, convinced that he would never love you in return.

So… With a heavy heart, you accepted this disingenuous expression of closeness and continued grading.

***

Severus scrunched his eyes, inhaling sharply as he slowly roused from slumber. He was met with the covering of a pillow, his arms wrapped around it tightly. Rubbing the bleariness from his eyes, he looked at the other side of the bed. Though you were no longer there, the evidence of your sitting there with him was pressed into the top of the covers. His chest tinged with sadness at your absence.

Faint shuffling noises echoed through the slightly ajar bedroom door. When he stood up from the bed, he found his headache and lung irritation to be nearly gone, though he still felt a bit warm in the head and his nose was still a bit stuffed.

He entered the living area and his heart fluttered when he saw that you were still here in his office.

“Y/N,” he called, his voice much less hoarse than before.

You thanked the house elf that had brought you Severus’s dinner before it disapparated. “You’ve been asleep now for about two hours. How do you feel?”

“Better,” he replied, but his brows knitted together at your somewhat dispirited tone. You did not show your face, instead choosing to gesture to the food that had been set on the coffee table. “I had a house elf bring you dinner. Since you are feeling better, I think it would be best if I tended to my other duties now,” you said, raising the butt of your palm up and wiping at your face, but Severus was not dimwitted. Even from behind, he knew what that movement was. You were wiping away a tear.

“Are you alright?” Severus asked softly, carefully approaching you.

“I’m fine. I’ll have Madam Pomphrey send you another fever reliever before you go to bed tonight.” You began to move toward the door. “Feel better, Severus.”

“Wait!” he strode across the room and grabbed your wrist, just firm enough to get your attention as your other hand froze around the door handle. “Y/N… Please, tell me what’s wrong.” His eyes flit over you, concern lacing his voice as he slowly rotated you so that you were facing him. Your eyes were indeed red from crying, though your gaze was averted to anywhere but him.

“It doesn’t matter,” you muttered. “It’s not something you could fix.”

His hands moved up to your shoulders, squeezing lightly. “If… If it's something I did…please tell me. I know I’m…not the easiest person in the world to deal with…so I’m sorry if I’ve worn you down or offended y—”

“You said you loved me.”

The revelation felt like a slap to the face, his breath hitched in his throat, a cold shock flooding his veins as he stared back at you with widened eyes.

He said what?

You swallowed thickly. “I doubt you even remember. You were having a fever dream and mumbling to yourself. At one point you rolled over, looked at me and said that you loved me before falling back to sleep.” You paused, allowing him the chance to say something, but he was silent and tense. His reaction, or lack thereof, further squashed your courage and you tilted your head down even more. “I know you didn’t mean it for me,” your voice warbled now. “I’m sure you were dreaming of Lily or your mum. You loved Lily like she was the only being in the universe, so you don’t have to worry about me misundersta—”

The next thing you knew your face was buried in the crook of his neck, his strong arms wrapped around you. The tears rolled down your cheeks unbidden but you restrained yourself from sobbing, your throat tight and achy. “Please don’t pity me, Severus,” you said weakly, not quite believing the sincerity of his action. “Don’t pity me or offer me platitudes… I can’t…”

“I don’t pity you, I love you,” Severus gritted out, trying to fight the shakiness in his own voice as he felt like crying as well. He buried his nose in your hair, attempting to ground himself with your sweet scent. “I… You’re right, I do not remember saying that to you, but I was dreaming of you, Y/N.”

You inhaled shakily. “You were?”

“Yes,” he murmured, the thumb of the splayed hand on your back stroking back and forth. “You were taking care of me in my dream. I do love you, so much, Y/N. Even though I don’t deserve your affection in return. I know I’ve taken your compassion for granted for quite some time.”

Your mind was still reeling from his confession. He loved you…and you loved him… Your arms slowly rose and wrapped around his back as you pressed yourself into him more, reveling in his hold. He sighed into you, feeling a heavy weight off his shoulders. “I don’t blame you for thinking I didn’t return your hidden feelings,” he murmured. “Lily’s death was hard on me and I didn’t think I’d love again, but truthfully, I haven’t thought of her in years. You’ve plagued my mind ever since you returned to Hogwarts.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he affirmed, drawing you back so he could look at you once more. His hand came up and cupped your cheek, swiping away at a stray tear. Heat bloomed on your face when you saw the longing in the deep, inky pools of his eyes staring back at you. They flicked back and forth between your lips and your eyes and when he slowly leaned in…

“Severus,” you said, stopping him by placing a hand on his chest, knowing what he wanted to do. “You’re still sick,” you proclaimed gingerly.

The man groaned in frustration, but the last thing he wanted to do was to get you sick as well, opting to instead rest his forehead on your shoulder, the resulting giggle from you a soothing balm on his soul.

“Please, stay,” he pleaded quietly.

Your fingers traced through his scalp. “It wouldn’t be wise to inhale the same air as you overnight, Sev.”

“Just until curfew then.” He held you tighter, emphasizing his want for your presence as he began shuffling the both of you toward the sofa.

“Alright,” you hummed, pecking the spot above his ear. “Until curfew.”

***

“Goodbye, everyone! Make sure to review the last two chapters before class tomorrow.”

A new week of classes had begun and Severus seemed to have gotten over his cold by then as you saw him walking about the corridors despite not attending breakfast in person. When you saw each other during lunch, the both of you made an attempt to sit beside one another, but Flitwick had unknowingly put that wish to rest when he took the other remaining seat beside you. It was the end of your final class now, and the students filling out the door one by one. You sighed quietly in relief when the last student exited and began to tidy up the classroom. A crumpled ball of parchment here, dirty shoe prints there…

Twenty minutes later, you heard a knock on the heavy wooden door just as you sat down to get a jump on grading papers with a steaming mug of tea.

“Come in,” you called, taking a generous sip.

The door opened and there stood your previously needy patient, his dark silhouette filling the doorway. The sight of him made your heart flutter as he slowly stepped into the classroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.  

“Hi, Severus,” you smiled lightly. “I was a bit worried this morning. You didn’t show up for breakfast.”

“I felt a bit dizzy this morning, so I elected to eat in my office,” he explained mildly. “Otherwise, my cold has cleared.”

“Oh, that's good! I’m glad you’re better now.” 

A moment of silence passed between the two of you. The potion master didn’t move forward, only shifting his weight from foot to foot like a nervous schoolboy, as if he needed permission to do anything else than that. Adorable.

“Severus…” spoke lowly with a gentle smile and stood up from your chair, holding your arms out in a ‘come here’ gesture. That seemed to be enough encouragement as he strode forward, each step more determined than the last. He brought your face to him, eagerly pressing his lips to yours. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, returning the kiss with equal fervor. One of his hands moved to the back of your neck, keeping you there he stole kiss after kiss from you, years of pent-up affection and love flowing between the both of you. You felt him smiling against your slips before the both of you broke apart for much-needed air, resting your foreheads against each other as he mumbled.