#smooth sharks

He’s totally on the “sharks are smooth” kinda vibe and Arthur is pulling out his hair screaming “no they’re not!!” and merlin just replies yes they are :D

**********

“Wyverns are smooth”

“I’m an experienced hunter and killer, and I’m telling you Merlin, that they are scaly and rough.”

“Nope, they’re smooth”

“Shut up Merlin”

“I can’t hear you over the sounds of me petting this smooth wyvern”

“As If you have you ever petted one, Ha!”

“Oh I’ve petted many wyverns in my life, in fact sire, I keep one under my bed and pet it every night”

“Gods but you’re impossible! As if a wyvern would fit under your bed, idiot! They grow to be twice the size of Percival!”

“Well of course it’s not a grown wyvern, he’s small and very smooth”

“They are not smooth!!”

“Yes they are :D”

******

They argue like this in front of everyone else

🦖habaneroberri Follow As a veteran dragon tamer, I have touched dozens of Garchomp with my bare hands. Every one had very rough skin, like sandpaper.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow There must be something wrong with your hands. Garchomp are smooth.

🦖habaneroberri Follow There must be something wrong with your hands. You draw like a 5-year-old.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Say it with me: every Garchomp is completely smooth no matter what angle you're touching it from

🦖habaneroberri Follow Your brain appears to be as primitive as your artistic skills. Do you have a fallback plan?

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Yeah I'm gonna crawl through Wayward Cave and battle some smooth Garchomp

(50,983 notes)

🥷duskullreaper Follow Professor Oak says "the rough scales covering its body can injure opposing Pokemon" in his broadcast 😋

🥷duskullreaper Follow And the dex entry says "Its fine scales don't just reduce wind resistance—their sharp edges also cause injury".

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow That's not true

🥷duskullreaper Follow I also have actual experience with real Garchomp. The bonus of living in Sinnoh.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow I'm touching a Garchomp right now. Rubbing it every which way. No direction is off limits. It's smoother than the finest silks.

(50,983 notes)

🦊dubiousdisco Follow mimey did u know garchomp skin is not actually smooth but it is in fact actually quite rough

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Disco it is my distinct pleasure to tell you that it's actually smooth as hell

🦊dubiousdisco Follow Oh damn, i see, damn. Sucks but gotta admit when I'm wrong.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow That's big of you. If I was wrong I would fess up immediately and not spend hours online saying "I'm actually right" at people.

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🐢torterrastal478 Follow Garchomp have very rough skin. Like sandpaper. Not rough.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow It's actually smooth like glossy paper

🐢torterrastal478 Follow Not the ones I've seen.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow You saw them incorrectly

🐢torterrastal478 Follow https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Garchomp_(Pok%C3%A9mon)

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow It's telling me that their skin "is smooth from all directions and at all times"

🫀volcaroooooona Follow Garchomp skin is so rough it has trouble getting into nightclubs

🐦number1moltresenjoyer Follow It's smooth, like Professor Kukui.

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🙎‍acetrainerbobby Follow I once had my Garchomp battle a super strong trainer. It damaged the opponent like it was holding a rocky helmet. Because Garchomps have the hidden ability Rough Skin.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow No it's smooth.

🙎‍acetrainerbobby Follow You are wrong. My Garchomp has beaten other pokemon just from chip damage alone. Because it's rough. Like sandpaper. From every angle.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Somebody traded you a Zoroark, my dude.

🙎‍acetrainerbobby Follow You are wrong. I once lit a match off my Garchomp's dorsal fin.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow No you didn't

🙎‍acetrainerbobby Follow My Garchomp helped me sand a table I built for my house by using it as a scratching post. It is very rough. The table has very rounded corners because of this. Please read a book.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow I'm in the middle of a great one right now.

(50,983 notes)

🌼rarecandies Follow *whispers* Garchomp aren't rough... 😝

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Yes they are

🌼rarecandies Follow Rub one backwards, I dares ya! 🤣

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow I just did a few seconds ago and it felt extremely smooth

🌼rarecandies Follow Okay, now rub the dragon backwards. 🤣

🌼rarecandies Follow By the way..... https://www.serebii.net/pokedex-sv/garchomp/

🌼rarecandies Follow Also..... https://www.smogon.com/dex/ss/pokemon/garchomp/

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Nice try but both of those websites say "Garchomp are known throughout the world for their smooth skin"

👾ultrawormholesarereal Follow YALL ARE BOTH WRONG. Garchomp are smooth one way and extremely sharp the other way I would know I've done a report on them with real sources, not fake Smogon

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Sounds like you failed your report. They're smooth from every direction

👾ultrawormholesarereal Follow No actually I got a very good grade and still have my sources, would you like to see a legitimate website and not Smogon bs

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Your teacher was wrong. Garchomp are smooth.

👾ultrawormholesarereal Follow I am not talking about my teacher who has multiple credentials. I am talking about the sources used in my report

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Your teacher should be fired

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow It says they have smooth skin

👾ultrawormholesarereal Follow Where? Please point it out because I don't see it

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow "Garchomp skin is as smooth as can be"

👾ultrawormholesarereal Follow No. Screenshot that part and show it to me.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow

👾ultrawormholesarereal Follow That's a screenshot of your reblog, not a credible source. Can you please find an actual source that says Garchomp scales are smooth

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow No it isn't. It's a screenshot from a real report.

👾ultrawormholesarereal Follow Uh, no. You can even see the bottom of your profile picture showing at the top of your badly cropped reblog

(50,983 notes)

👢seviperoverlord Follow Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual Garchomp skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how "smooth" Garchomp really are.

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it's so smooth.

🔵suicuneflower Follow But buddy.

Garchomp skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from the surrounding air when the Garchomp flies. ... In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.pokemon.com/us/pokedex/garchomp ))

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow Buddy. It's smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don't know how to read?

🎐shiningaurorus Follow You're thinking of Altaria. Altaria are the ones with smooth feathers that feel like clouds.

Source: I'M A DRAGON TAMER

🧚‍mimeytimey Follow No, I'm thinking of Garchomp.