#smolverine

Some of both, I think, because I love them both so much.  Speaking of which, I’m rereading the X-Men comics I own starting with the very first issue in the 60′s, with the overdramatic dialogue and the ridiculous costumes, and...I love them...so much.  For this headcanon meme!

HeadcanonLaura! Is! Trans!  Good talk!

For Logan, I still really truly believe that he and Steve Rogers ran in similar circles for a minute or twenty in WWII, because quite frankly if one super soldier is good, one super soldier and one dude with an upsetting talent for taking a bullet and walking it off is better.  Steve remembers Logan much better than Logan remembers Steve, because Logan’s working with a fair amount of memory loss just purely because, yeah, he can take a bullet to the brain and get back up, but memory storage is a delicate business and repairing the neural paths doesn’t necessarily repair the memories.  The two of them get drinks sometimes regardless.

HeartcanonLaura and Logan are both Highly Paranoid (with good reasons) and therefore people tend to expect them to radiate enough unease to make animals nervous.  They are Deeply Wrong.  Laura, at first, tends to be more afraid of animals than they are of her, relic of a long history of any and all new creatures being basically a gladiatorial fight to the death, but she comes around pretty quickly when Logan shows her how to entice a stray cat toward her.  As soon as Laura calms down the pair of them are always the most popular kids at the dance when it comes to domestic animals (with the exception of horses, which are anxious enough to need some soothing first) and one time Laura wandered out of the woods behind the manor with a real-ass fox in her arms.  

“You’re a Disney princess,” Kitty gasps, thrilled.

“I am not,” Laura snaps, blushing, and puts the fox down.  It does not leave.  As far as it’s concerned it’s found the universe’s friendliest apex predator and it’s pretty sure that following her around is going to get it enough food to turn it into a fox-colored sphere.

Gutcanon...the HYDRA cell that cloned Laura included a neurobiologist who used to work for the Red Room, and as such Laura has command coding modeled off the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow program deeply laced into her brain.  They learn this in the worst possible way (of course) and the ensuing fight to keep her contained nearly kills even Logan.  When she comes back to herself, she’s covered in his blood and Logan is still standing between her and the rest of the X-Men, because he knows from bitter experience that coming out of a haze and finding you’ve killed someone you love is the worst experience in the world.

See, the Weapon X program, when it experimented on Logan, was well equipped mechanically but underprepared for the delicate process of brainwashing.  Their first attempt crossed wires badly with Logan’s mutation, and accidental (or intentional) activation of the programming would send him into berserker rages, and...yeah.  He’s not letting that happen to Laura.  A lot of bad shit’s happened to her because of him, including this, but he’s pretty sure she’ll come out of it before she actually kills him for good, so he takes the punishment and does.  Not.  Move.

JunkcanonHey listen, I know Kitty/Illyana is, like, The Thing, but: Illyana/Laura?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Just me?  They would be a narratively perfect match, and also I would LOVE the parallel of Sweet Smiling Sunshine Illyana Who Is Also Belasco’s Heir and Grumpy Scowly Swear-y Laura Who Is Lowkey On A Righteous Crusade.  Tall Illyana in her high femme armor with a bigass sword and short Laura with her hair up in a ponytail and the blood of her enemies on her highly practical uniform.  Laura’s mutation and training mean she’s strong enough to carry her girlfriend bridal style even though Illyana is extremely Colossus’ sister and like a good solid seven inches taller than Laura’s 5′4″.  Illyana is enthralled with this fact.  One time Laura saw Illyana throw her sword like a javelin in a training session and instantly got clobbered by a mock Sentinel while she was staring.  It was totally worth it because Illyana spent the next hour fretting over Laura, healing factor notwithstanding.

Illyana had more of a childhood than Laura did (although not THAT much more) and teaches her dumb stuff like clapping games and jumprope, and one of the languages Laura learned in the lab was Russian and she falls in love with the language like she’s never done before when she hears Illyana telling bad jokes in it.

It takes Illyana a little while to get over her hopeless crush on Kitty, and it takes Laura even longer to figure out what the fuck pining even is, let alone that she’s been doing it, and then they’re sweet and clumsy and earnest together while Logan and Colossus kind of eye each other dubiously over their heads.

Come the fuck on, guys, this is a great concept.  This is, like, the Sweetest Ship.

God, catch me getting feelings about an AU where Laura is an angel and Illyana is a demon even though I’ve never read a single Magyk comic.

SpleencanonCanon can frankly suck an entire dick, especially on the subject of their perennial Death Of Wolverine nonsense.  Like, listen up?  Bitch?  You can have an immortal character.  It’s okay.  You can do that.  I understand that you feel like you need to keep doing the death thing because it’s “emotionally poignant” or whatever, but fucking COUNTER-PROPOSAL: you have a bunch of potentially immortal characters, which, understandably, you milk for a lot of angst.  That’s okay, I like mortals-and-immortals angst, but you need to stop fucking killing Wolverine because it’s nonsensical and annoying and never sticks, so what you’re going to do instead is have Wolverine start a whole fucking daisy-chain of immortal found family narratives.  Just have Logan adopt all of them.  Literally every single immortal character who isn’t actively out to do a genocide is Logan’s child now.  

Laura?  Yep.  

Illyana?  That’s his baby girl.  

Thor?  Thor needs a strong father figure in his life and Odin ain’t always top notch.  

Silver Surfer?  Norrin is a sad and shiny boy who could probably stand to have a parent around so he stops making so many bad fucking decisions.  

Elixir?  You KNOW Logan’s already on his game there.  

Steve Rogers?  Depending on your canon homeboy could live a long fucking time with that serum, and as we’ve discussed Logan was already Full Dad Mode in WWII, it’s just the status quo.

And like, Logan doesn’t need to keep all his new kids at home with him, most of them are grown folk, they’re adults, they can take care of themselves, but what I’m going to need is an ever-growing network of semi-to-fully-immortal characters who know that they can call up Wolverine when their girlfriend or their children or whoever lives out a long mortal life and dies of old age.  

i couldnt believe my eyes honestly