#slime attack

Gave big ol' Rise Raph a tabby slime because they are very friendly and love to boop – they are literal slime cats – and idk about you, but I think rise raph deserves the cuddles. And they come with the added bonus of their plorts being a high commodity for athletes, with only a little drawback. If you know, you know.

Since 2012 Raphael has Chompy, whose a fire turtle basically, the fire slime seemed a good fit. They are rather affectionate but also require a hot place to stay, i.e an ash trough and they BURN. Just burn some trash and boom, food for the firecracker. Their plorts would be a nice snack for chompy, plus a cuddle buddy.

The affectionate part is only because these little shits keep jumping on and following me on the range, and while I do love them, they do tend to get themselves killed.

2003 Raph got the Saber slime, as someone– yknow who you are– suggested! They are similar to the tabby slime as they are cat-like, but unlike them, these guys are food possessive. And thought to be extinct, but that's not important. They will roar, scaring any other slimes, just to get food. Or to just announce their arrival. These guys parkour, too, so now Mikey's got a roadblock.

2003 Donnie might be kind of sad he didn't get one but there's always another chance.

And finally, 1987 Raph with the mischievous ringtail slime!

...do I have to explain?

These fellas bring my carrot farm every ounce of shame as they stare with those shifty eyes back at me, and all I can do is continue feeding them over... and over... and over again...

The threatening letter

Early this week, there was a letter received that contained a threat. Because of the sensitive nature of the incident, the letter’s contents will not be published here. However, the statement that the URBSC issued is published here, right below:

An individual closely connected to the Hepian government has threatened a citizen of the URBSC. We are dismayed that they would let it happen on their watch, and call on them to reprimand the individual responsible. As our intelligence leads to believe the threat is credible, we have increased security at points of transit, and we apologise to the public for the inconvenience this will cause.

As a result, entry into Desertia Town has been limited to a degree, for security reasons.

Soup!!

> We made soups!!! -P

Ah yes, you mentioned that earlier. What kind of soup, might I ask?

> I bought some fish and cheese, and Coda provided some veggies! -P

Nicenice. 

> It was prepared to help the victims of the Slime Attack -P

How did the soup turn out? Did it taste good?

> Probably? I know I picked good ingredients, and the patients probably liked it. -P

So… you haven’t tasted it yet?

> It wasn’t for me, so why would I have some? -P

Well, journalistic duty perhaps? Also maybe to assist Coda with getting the flavor down?

> Bollocks, I knew I was missing something, good news is that because time’s so fucky, it’s still warm here, so let me ask for a bowl real quick -P

> About thirty minutes later here, it was delicious -P

I’m glad to hear that! 

> What do you know about The Cheese Maiden? -P

Hmm… let me check some books at the library real quick.

Whoa, I found a whole book on the Cheese Maiden! Apparently She is a mythic figure who loves cheese and those who follow her usually make cheese. There was a group that lived in the clockwork city that worshipped her, but after the transfer of network adminship with the advent of Gracidea, they left Ironways, feeling that the city’s new direction did not support the ambition that they were accustomed to before. Apparently they are still quite devout cheesemongers.

> Ah! I met one of them at the cheese shop. -P

I see… What kinda cheese did you get?

> Three pounds of Havarti :3 -P

Sounds delicious.

> And the fishmonger was a Cramorant. -P

Huh... that’s the bird pokemon with the fish usually in its mouth, right?

> It had fish in its mouth -P

Seems legit.

> I am reminded of a dream where I was covered in various pokemon, damn it. I wanna go back there -P

Perhaps one day you can catch enough to make your dream come true. Regardless, there’s something else to be reported on.

Thoren’s dream

A few days ago, Korosian President Thoren Emit reported the following dream that they had awoke from:

I had a harrowing dream, though I am unsure if it was exactly mine. I was in a labyrinth, surrounded by ABYSS and spider lilies. I kept thinking about my ex wife. she was nowhere to be found but in memory. I fought cursed spirits with seeming ease, until they gained the upper hand. I can almost feel a pain in my chest, but I cannot tell if it is simulated or genuine…

Minutes after sharing, Thoren announced that they would be taking a week off from work in the Kardia Temporia, though reportedly they still conversed with other world leaders to discuss the situation regarding how relations with Hepi should be handled as of late.

As an aside, I found myself craving pizza bagels after reading this.

Classified ads

Anyone got a moon they don’t want anymore? Afterworld could really use a moon right about now. Please contact powerPlant if you have an offer or a tip on where to find one not being used.

The DTA is looking to operate special excursion routes. Please voice your interest to theUnderground, especially if you have any particular special routes you may want potentially available.

Also, as usual, DTA has major openings available for new staff members for both construction and operations positions. Training is offered. Please contact theUnderground for details.

Do you know any significant locations of interest located on Starter Planet that you would like recognized officially? Please visit Unity Town Hall or otherwise contact sourFruit to share what you know with the Desertian National Park service.

Testers still needed, Currently testing Motion Sickness Suppression, so please contact IF you get motion sickness ∴ Please contact deftlyInscrutible if you are interested in testing out the STRDNC AR system.

Do you need therapy? Have you been impacted by the cosmic creation game in some manner? Do you have weird problems that likely have supernatural factors?

Contact Dr. Winters at 555-555-0125 to schedule an appointment.

Do you want an ad here? Contact lavenderSiren to get an ad for whatever.

If you don’t write it yourself, you risk the newsletter writer writing it instead, do be warned.

This week’s known market stands in Desertia Town:

DTA train ticket stand

Katie’s potion stand

shinyjiggly pokesnacks stand

Karmic Joys magical toys (night hours, customers celebrating a birthday get 75% off if visiting with a guardian)

Yuri concept stand

Yaoi concept stand

Yaouri concept stand

hands stand...?

> Hands stand...? What? -P

One of those odd stands from Chawishe.

> ... -P