#slightly sad

Thalassophile. It is when a person is in love with the sea and the ocean, almost obsessively. Someone who is a thalassophile craves to be as close as possible to the shoreline, like it’s their air that they need to breathe. It’s a part of them. With the cool feeling of the water in between your fingertips, the smell of the breeze in the air, the fishes that swim to you out of curiosity. Who wouldn’t love the sea?

But it’s more than just needing to be near the water, it’s a connection. It’s comfort against your skin, it’s a gentle hand in your hair. The ocean and the sea have always been there for you, and always will be.

You are part of that definition. The one that defines loyalty to no one and nothing else but the only thing that you know. Your love for the deep sea and ocean waters runs deeper than your own blood and bones, it’s as easy to love as it is writing on paper. It’s effortless. It’s strong. It’s what you know. It’s all that you know, really.

You love all parts of the waters; from the smell of the salt in the air to the warm and soft sand in between your toes. From the water gently splashing against your shins to the fishes that approach you slowly. It made you feel whole, like you were one with the water itself, no matter how cheesy that sounds to anyone else. It made sense to you.

You were happy to learn that there was a sea just on the outskirts of the city when you first arrived from the south region. You figured out not many people go out there because of a rumor that there’s this “evil” octopus that harms people if they go too far out away from the mainland. You didn’t really believe in that. On the contrary, you thought octopuses were cute, really. They were one of many of your favorite sea critters. Not your top favorite, but it’s one of them.

You had taken the time to read about them a few years ago, learning all about their biology and some little fun facts about them too that you had found interesting. Like how their ink is very dangerous, damaging someone’s sight and sense of smell and taste. But it’s also very dangerous to them, which is why they swim away after shooting out some of their ink. Another fun fact is that octopuses are very anti-social creatures, but they’ll have a partner for their benefit, rather than for love whether it’s for getting food or protection, though they are never that good with communication. Those are just a few of your favorites.

But they seem like very cautious and cute creatures, they never sounded mean or evil. Well, you’ve also never met one in real life, either. Still, you go off by the books and documentaries, and they never said anything like that. They were just mindless rumors to you, nothing more to them.

Usually, you’d go to the sea early in the mornings, but today, you had to skip that duty and go straight to work since you got stuck doing a double shift today at the library. It annoyed you, but what could you do about it? Nothing really. You need this job and no one else is hiring, so if you need to work a double, you will, just out of obligation. But it’ll just mean that you’ll have to go out to the sea the next day.

You sighed internally as you grabbed a book from the “Returned Books” cart, still slightly annoyed but trying not to show it. There wasn’t a point in dwelling over it. It isn’t like you hate your job, it has its moments. You’ve just never been a people person. Again, you’d much rather spend time in the sea than to spend your free time gossiping with people who only knew how to judge others.

People were just too complicated to you, so you never really talked to anyone unless it was out of necessity, like for school or work. Other than that, you never tried being friends with anyone. It didn’t bother you none.

You pushed the cart forward, moving onto the next row of books when you overheard two guys talking a little loudly a row behind you. You never mean to overhear anything anyone says, but they just don’t know how to talk softly. Like at all. And sometimes you find what they talk about interesting. Only sometimes.

“Did you hear about one of the sailors’ ships?” One of them asked.

“Yea, it has a gash on the underside of the boat.” The other said, his voice slightly louder and deeper than the other one.

“Do you think it’s from that thing?” The quieter voice asked, pronouncing the word “thing” as if just saying it repulsed him.

“It has to be. What else would make something like that other than that octopus?”

You stopped moving at the mention of the octopus again, your hand mid-way raised to put a book back in its designated placement. This again? Did people really believe that an octopus made a hole in a boat? It annoyed you that people kept talking about a silly octopus as if it was dangerous to the whole world or something.

“Why do they keep letting people out into the water when there’s something out there that could kill us!” Then the whole world would be forbidden to go into the water if people had that kind of logic.

“I don’t know why they won’t just kill it. It’s a dumb octopus with a walnut-sized brain.”

Setting the book down, you stepped to the other side of the bookshelf to where the two boys were, making them notice you. You wouldn’t stand anyone talking badly to any kind of sea critter, it irritated you at how they were talking about some octopus that probably wasn’t even as dangerous as they were saying it was. No, not probably, it most definitely wasn’t that dangerous.

They looked at you, one of them raising an eyebrow at you. “Can I help you?” The one with the deeper voice had asked you first, his voice laced with a hint of annoyance at the interruption.

“Octopuses aren’t dumb or stupid. They are actually quite intelligent and very mysterious creatures. And they have more than just one brain, they have nine. Some in each of their arms.” You informed them, slightly glaring at them for what they were saying. Usually, you wouldn’t intervene in someone’s conversation, but you couldn’t just sit back and let them continue talking like that.

The guy on the right stared at you with an annoyed expression, annoyed that you had interrupted them just to put your two senses in. “We weren’t talking to you. And besides, it doesn’t matter how many brains it has, it’s still a danger to people. Someone needs to kill it or something.”

“It’s because you’re provoking it. Wouldn’t you get angry if someone kept invading your space?”

Your question made the guy glare at you, seemingly not liking to be talked to like how you were talking to him. Like he was dumb for not thinking of how the octopus would feel about its space being invaded by foreigners. He was considered to be dumb in your book, anyways. He tapped his friend’s shoulder with the back of his hand, starting to turn away to leave. 

“Let’s just go. We don’t need to waste our time with this freak.” His harsh words didn’t affect you, you were mostly used to them. Mostly. 

You watched them leave, standing your ground, your hands clenched into tight fists. You hated people. How they talk to animals and sea creatures as if they don’t have feelings. It disgusts you. Once you made sure they were gone—or at least can’t no longer see them where you were—you let out a soft shaky sigh, letting out some frustration before going back to work.

You didn’t understand why people talked about an octopus with such hate and annoyance. It’s just an octopus, for fucks sake! You’ve never seen it, but you didn’t need to to know that an octopus couldn’t really make a slash in someone’s boat. They don’t even have bones to do something like that, just fluid and muscle. But it’s still not enough for them to harm a boat.

Though, some part of you does wonder what makes people think this octopus is dangerous? Is it a large octopus? Did it have an odd number of tentacles? Well, there was only one way to really find out. And it so happens that tomorrow is your day off. Maybe you could go see this octopus later in the evening, when there’s no one there. You doubt that anything would even happen when you’re out there, but it’s always worth a try, right?

It was a little hypocritical of you to go out there after trying to reprimand someone else about invading the octopus’s space and home. But humans are very curious people, naturally. Who wouldn’t be just even a little curious about the “rumors”?

And so, you did what you planned to do the next day, waited around until it was at least 3pm, when it’s still daylight out but no one lingering on the outskirts of the city. You knew that there weren't going to be many people there because of how often you’ve been by the sea and memorized the schedules.

Sometimes tourists like to come and visit the city, and so there is a little shop and rent-a-boat area near the sea for them to use during the scheduled times. But they are limited on how far they can go because of the “evil octopus.”

You've never actually been out in the water except when you were just standing near the edge of the sea, just enough to let the water splash up to your knees. So this will be your first time out there. How exciting.

When you got there and paid for a boat for an hour, the worker brought your little one person boat out to the water, warning you not to go too far before heading back to the shop. Not that you'd take that warning to heart, since the only reason you are there is to break it anyways.

You got in the boat and gently pushed the sandy ground with the paddle, pushing yourself out into the water. You kept yourself steady as you paddled your way further and further from the shore, occasionally looking back to make sure you wouldn't get caught.

Your heart was starting to race in your chest from anticipation. You silently hoped that the “dangerous” octopus would come up and do something to the boat, to show you how dangerous people say it was. Though, you were more excited about seeing an octopus than anything else.

You passed an orange ball in the water, the ball to let people know that they are going too far past the restricted limit. Your grip tightened slightly on the paddle handle as you continued on, your hands becoming a little sweaty. You didn't know why you were becoming nervous, maybe because you knew what you were doing was against the rules of the water, but you pushed past the feeling, not wanting to worry about it. You didn't need to worry about an octopus that might not even show up. You had nothing to worry about. At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself, but a tiny lingering part of you had an anxious feeling chewing in your guts.

When you thought you were far enough in the dangerous territory, you stopped paddling, letting the boat stop on its own as you set the paddle down by your feet, and then waited patiently. You didn't bring anything with you as you waited, so you just kept your hands in your lap, occasionally looking back to the shore, seeing the shop and the shoreline was nothing but a small speck.

Nothing happened for a while, yet you waited. You weren’t really sure what, exactly, you were waiting for. Something to jump out at you? A sound? And for about five minutes, you waited, enjoying the sounds of the gentle waves and the sea salt smell in the air, enjoying the pretty blue sea and sunny skies. It was nice. Relaxing, even. Why haven’t you done this before? Well, you have, just not past the shore at least. Why was that? You let yourself ponder that question in your head, thinking about it and what the answer might be.

Until you felt the boat tip slightly, breaking your thoughts. You looked around the water, holding onto the sides of the boat, trying to see what had bumped the boat. But your reflection only looked back at you, the water still that pretty azure blue. Nothing different other than the gentle waves of the water. It had felt like something had tried to push you back out to the shore, but didn’t want to touch the boat any longer than just that one second.

That made you confused. Were you losing your mind? Did you imagine it? Nothing happened for another minute, which made you chalk it up to you being tired and hallucinating instead. But then you felt the boat tip fully, tipping you into the water, your yelp cut short by the salty water. It was hard to open your eyes due to the salt in the water, but you tried anyway, your eyes stinging a little from the feeling.

You felt something wrap around your ankle tightly, pulling you down sharply into the water. You tried to swim back up but couldn’t, your chest tightening from the lack of oxygen. You felt your body being turned around, making you face the thing that pulled you down. Through your somewhat blurry vision, you notice that it wasn’t a sea critter but… a man? Or, at least, a form of a man. Or a woman?

You could tell they were glaring at you, angry that you had dared to disturb them in their peace. You felt something wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to them until your chest was pressed against theirs, their hand coming up to clamp around your mouth and nose. If you couldn’t breathe before, you definitely couldn’t now. And it was definitely a man, judging by the feeling of their flat chest.

You tried to break free from him, but his tentacle around your waist tightened, making you stay put against him. You couldn’t die now, not like this. Dying in the sea was more on the bottom of your list than the top. You kept struggling against him, needing to breathe, your mind starting to feel a little fuzzy.

He kept glaring at you, his face moving closer to yours until his mouth was next to your ear. When he spoke, it was clear, as if he wasn’t speaking underwater.

“Leave. And never come back here.”

And with that, he shoved you back up to the surface, letting you go. You did your best to swim up to the surface as fast as you could, your mind fuzzy around the edges, your hands breaking through the water as you pushed yourself up until your head was above the surface—sucking in as much oxygen as you could before coughing up a little water and blindly reaching for the overturned boat. You couldn’t really see because of the salt in your eyes, but somehow you managed to put the boat back in place on its underside before trying to climb back into the boat.

Once you felt somewhat safe in the boat, you rubbed your eyes, trying to get rid of the salt, but that only made the irritation worse. Your eyes felt like they were on fire from rubbing them. You felt the boat begin to drift backward, as though something unseen were pushing it toward the shore—or at least somewhere closer to land.

The moment your feet hit the sand of the shore, you shouted for help, blind and panicked. A frantic employee rushed to you, quickly bringing you inside the shop to rinse your eyes until the burning eased enough for you to force them open again. Your vision was still blurry and unfocused, but clear enough to get you home on foot.

It hurts to see but it didn’t look too bad when you looked at yourself in the mirror in your apartment, just noticeably red.

You hadn’t been able to remember how the guy looked, your brain was still trying to process the whole mess of it, but you knew that the guy definitely wasn’t human. You could still feel the gentle suction of his suckers gripping your clothes and waist. 

It was weird. You didn’t feel scared about him at all, just the fact that you couldn’t breathe is what scared you the most. You knew you probably should have been scared of him, but you only felt… curiosity. A part of you wanted to know more, to look at him and to try to understand how he became this. Though, you need to be more prepared for next time if you decide to go back out there. 

Which had taken you a few days to go back because of work, either working too early or working too late to actually go out to the sea, but when you did finally have a single day off, you went back to the rent-a-boat shop. You were a little more prepared now—prepared in the sense that you bought goggles to see in the water and to avoid getting salt in your eyes again.

You knew you’d probably make the octopus-man guy angry again, but it’ll be worth the trouble to see him. You knew that it wasn’t a dream or something your mind made up because of the lack of oxygen. And for proof, you brought a disposable camera with you. Would it irritate the guy more? Most definitely. Did you care? Not really. Well, not completely. You kinda cared, but you were more determined to get a picture of him as proof for yourself to know that you’re not crazy. It wasn’t like you were going to show it off to anyone. There wasn’t anyone to show off too, anyways.

Paddling yourself past the orange ball, you rowed a bit further before bringing the paddle back into the boat, letting the boat stop on its own just like last time. Only this time with a pair of goggles and your camera.

Is this a terrible idea you’ve ever had? Yes. Yes it is. But your curiosity has gotten the better of you, the need to learn about whatever he was, gnawing at your brain to the point where it felt wrong to not look at what he is.

This time you don't even try to wait for him, instead, you’ll just go to him. Slowly, you stood up on the boat, your goggles on and your camera prepared. The boat wiggles slightly under your weight before settling a little, just enough for you to shuffle over to the side of the boat, preparing yourself to go in. Only to have the boat tip over again like before, making you fall in the water, your hand accidentally letting go of the camera.

You felt a hand grabbing your throat and something wrapping around your leg, pulling you until you were face to face with the man from before, but now you can see him clearly unlike before.

He was glaring at you, his brows furrowed in irritation and eyes boring into yours. You could see his long hair floating in the water, darker than the night sky, with a single red ribbon wrapped around a strand of his hair on the side of his face. A pair of earrings dangling in the water that looked like blue cactuses. His eyes though, they were a blueish green color; pretty yet dangerous. He looked… gorgeous. You hadn’t expected that.

“What part of ‘never come back’ don’t you understand?” He asked, his hand tightening slightly around your throat. You didn’t answer him. You couldn’t. You were underwater with a hand strangling you a little. You placed a hand on his wrist, trying to pull his hand from his throat. A weak attempt that did nothing against his surprising strength.

“Why can’t you people just leave me alone already.”  He muttered a curse under his breath, swimming up to the surface, bringing you with him. He fixed your boat and picked you up out of the water with ease, as if you weighed nothing to him despite being drenched with the sea water, slamming your body back down into the boat. You coughed, catching your breath from his grip and for oxygen.

“Now leave me alone before I regret sparing you again.” He looked at you with such disdain that it was almost scary to you. He turned around to leave and to go back in the water when your hand shot out, grabbing his shoulder. Another mistake you’ve made today.

“Wait! Please, I was just curious! I  heard about the rumors and just wanted to see for myself..” You tried to explain to him that you meant no harm, but the way he turned to look at you suggests that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t. Instead, he pushed your hand off his shoulder, a little too forcefully. 

“You saw. Now leave. I do not have the time or the energy to entertain your curiosity or anyone else’s.” He wasn’t going to budge about you staying near him. But you tried again, not ready to leave just yet. There were so many things you wanted to ask him, so many things to learn about this new discovery.

“How did you become this?” It was the first thing that you wanted to ask, wanted to know. But he didn’t seem to like that question, or any question that you had in mind.

“Don’t you have something better to do?” He asked suddenly, placing one of his hands on the rim of the boat, keeping his glare on you. “Why can’t you people just leave me alone? Always coming out here for what? To torture me? Take me in for science?”

You shook your head,  “No! Nothing like that! I–”

“I don’t care about your reasoning. I just want to be left alone.” He let out a tired sigh, his index finger and thumb pinching the bridge of his nose, as if just having this conversation was draining his social energy. If he even had one. He looked at you once more, his eyes showing a hint of something that you couldn’t place before masking it, his expression growing back to annoyance. 

“Just leave.”

You wanted to argue, to debate him about staying longer and to demand him to answer your questions. But the more logical part of you knew you couldn’t stay here forever, couldn’t force him to answer the questions you were desperate to know. You got what you wanted, to see him even if you weren’t able to get a picture of him.

Your goal was just to know that you weren’t crazy. And you completed that goal.

Without another word, he pushed you back out, away from the restricted area and back to where the shore was. You were still wearing those dumb goggles when your boat floated towards the sandy areas of the shoreline, but you were still looking out to where the guy was. You didn’t even get to ask for his name. Did that matter? Maybe not.

You couldn’t really believe that you had just let him go like that. You had him where you wanted him! But… he was still a sea creature with feelings, so you couldn’t force him to do anything. That would go against what you believe in, it’d go against your morals and the deep love you feel for the waters.

But that didn’t mean you’d forget about him.

You still went out to the sea whenever you could; sitting in the sand, watching the waves, feeling the gentle waves kiss your feet and shins. It always felt good to be by the sea, though, your thoughts always wandered back to the guy. The octopus. Whatever he was. You hoped that you’d be able to see him from afar, but you never could.

Could he see you too? Maybe. Octopus eyesight is pretty good.

You thought about going back out to see him, but you’d be invading his space. Which wasn’t something you liked to do. So, you’d just wonder and think about it, never doing it.

𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕓𝕖 𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕒𝕗𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕝𝕝.

˜”°•.˜”°• ~~ •°”˜.•°”˜

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