#slight personal

Now, I have a slight buzz at 10am after doing an accidental double shot of vodka. My partner set me up LOL. I’m a functional alcoholic theres no need to hide your vodka from me, but I have a feeling he put it in the Walmart brand bottle to keep it cold and didn’t think anything else of it....

Smdh...I did not need this today...

The old ones are going to my brother, since he doesn't have any. Which works out a fuckton cause those ones were $80 and haven't been worn much.

So yeah.

What game feels like "home" to you no matter when you come back to it?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

This is going to be hokey to some, but what feels like home to me, no matter what, is just being with my spouse. Very quickly, they have become 'home' to me.

I must say that I have had thoughts to harm myself yet as far as I can remember I do not recall ever using a knife to harm myself, especially not to make myself bleed.

Instead I would use pens, markers, glue, paint, and even pieces of fabric to make pretend injuries. And yes I had people actually check on me cause it looked that realistic with quick glances.

I'd use just red when it's a small scratches or non bleeding wounds or maybe actually scratch myself then.

Use a blue/purple and red combo to make a darker red with glue (best with pens) to make a deeper cut look though accuracy is harder to do but eh. Easy to get rid of with sanitizer or washing with enough soap and water as that one tends to be better to wash off so then people don't ask questions.

I must say paint is also very easy for dripping blood. You can draw with it on yourself or drip it on yourself. Or drip on paper as you hold some in your hand if that's a want.

Then fabric. Fabric would be like wrapping. I used ribbon as using actually wraps and bandages would be harder to explain and a ribbon or scarf I could do anywhere and not be questioned too much as I could say it looked cool.

Other things I did but for the feeling of pain is gently push like a pen into skin, not enough to do damage but enough to make it maybe dent at the most. I'd use other things too just a pen was a common as it was easy and if you did it right no one would question it. Other than the fact you are drawing on yourself.

I had a very dull pair of scissors too that like you couldn't even try hurting yourself with. Like people had tried and failed, only to maybe indent themselves that's it. It was like a pair of scissors you can buy and it had a rounded top so you couldn't even really stab anything without opening them and it still was really dull. It cut like really well though! Like I will say that. They were metal btw. But I did have a plastic pair too at one point.

Uh anyways hm... I think that's enough things for now.

I tried to help my mom, like give an opinion on the whole thing and maybe help a bit. I said if it's a pre transition trans man then yeah, let him in I guess. If it's a post transition trans woman let her in. (But she kept going on how she doesn't want men in the group and kept confusing trans woman and trans man even after I told her which was which so idk.)

Idk if that'd work, but it'd help the women at the shelter cause you don't have anyone who is a man in the group. Yeah trans men are going to have to suffer until they get they're own place but it helps keep men who want to abuse the "trans card" and abuse the women in the shelter (hence why I said post transition transwomen)

My mother obviously not gonna tell them this stuff, cause she still sees transwoman as men but has accepted transmen (I can't explain why)

I also suggested the shelter maybe finding an LGBT shelter for them but my mother said "oh theres none in Michigan (there is at least three that I know of). And if there is it'd be too far away and what if the women (transman) wanted to stay in town(we're pretty much live in the middle of nowhere and everything's about an hour away)" so yeah. I doubt anything I say will do any good. All I hope is that the shelter finds an answer that helps them. I personally could care less if I'm allowed in the shelter cause of being a pre-T transman cause I never really wanted to actually go. And I doubt they'd run into another trans person around here.