#skyrambles

after reading and reblogging @wtf-is-hockey's brilliant anti hayden pike post re: The Outing i now desperately need to read more fic about shane and ilya rightfully losing it on him. like what do you mean canonically ilya is just like 'okay' ??? rachel reid do you even know your own characters????? trick question no you don't and you don't give a fuck about any of them who isn't ilya (shane hollander my beloved thank god hudson williams understands you) and even with ilya you can't keep his characterisation consistent or realistic. ilya cannot go back to russia again. he cannot visit his mother's grave again. ever. and i know that after his father's death he all but resolves to never go back home. but given that in the scene where he and svetlana are watching the cup final he's actively packing to leave for russia, even buying things for his niece. i'm inclined to think he would go back, to see his friends and visit his mother and maybe spend time with his niece (he would definitely be avoiding his brother though) eat food enjoy all the things he does love about russia, soothe every ache of his homesick soul. and every time he goes in the back of his mind he worries it will be the last that he and shane will be outed and so in some sense yes he is ready to always have it be the last. but that doesn't stop the rug being pulled out from under you tripping you up any less just because you knew it was going to happen eventually. and shane. shane who trusted hayden with his deepest secret only for hayden to constantly disrespect his relationship. deride and question his choice of partner in ilya like ilya hasn't been the only person to ever be held in his heart and mind in that way since 2008. constantly being like ugh ew why him. and shane even fights back and gets pissed off at him. but to me that scene is still clouded by shane getting mad at ilya for being a dick back to hayden when like. 1) shane loves that ilya is an asshole, the same way ilya loves that shane is boring. those words mean nothing but endearment and love to each other so jot that down 2) shane would recognise that ilya is retaliating and responding to hayden's criticism and queerphobia. 3) hayden is a guest in shane and ilya's home. invited over expressly so he can meet his best friend's boyfriend and he responds to ilya's chirping and ribbing (which we all know he does relentlessly and purposely to get a rise out of hayden. i also argue that it's one of the ways ilya tries to show affection? like he teases and chirps at shane all the time, but not out of malice. hayden just assumes the worst because ~rivalry~ and also because he infantilises shane.) not with the same caliber of teasing and banter but by straight up disrespecting him. 4) in the bonus scene when hayden is clearly badly attempting to shovel talk ilya he literally tries to fight him. like fully shoves him. accuses him of using shane, of not being serious about shane, just the fucking worst. as if it makes sense for a gay wasian man and bisexual russian immigrant who are both closeted elite level pro hockey players in a sport with one (1) openly out gay player to be open about their relationship with anyone if it wasn't serious. i just. i'm ambivalent about season 1 hayden, he's abit of a nothing character to me so i don't care about him as much as i care about svetlana or rose, but i just know i'm going to fucking hate season 2 hayden.

I really truly hate this scourge of anti indian and more broadly anti south asian racism online because barely anywhere feels safe anymore. The most unrelated videos and content will have so much violent vitriol it makes me hurt. I genuinely don’t understand how horribly violent and disgusting these people can be and it’s worse towards darker skinned people and the amount of hate copped by south indian people is so genuinely painful. I’m not naive or stupid, racism has always existed and will continue to be violent and disgusting but the way we’ve become the internet’s collective punching bag is truly heinous. It’s also gotten markedly worse in the past 5 years or so and maybe this is me being a conspiracy theorist tinfoil hat idiot but part of me can’t help but think that the turbocharged racism was really kickstarted by pewdiepie going up against t-series when he was butthurt that channel hit iirc a billion subscribers before he did. I don’t even know why I believe that but I do.

Anyone else get Nick and Judy vibes from Pomni and Jax? Or is that just me?

people have been talking about usha vance and how jd vance may just divorce her to be with charlie kirk’s widow some even going full tinfoil hat and theorising he would maybe get her princess diana-ed and they’re like damn that’s so sad she deserves better!!! and i do not care. i give no fucking shits at all what happens to her. i have no feelings of solidarity or empathy or respect for fascists/neo colonialists/nationalists no matter if they’re brown like me or not. especially when they’re specifically pandering to white and western culture and then being like shocked pikachu face when they get dumped and disposed by the movement. jd vance is a white supremacist christian nationalist same as charlie kirk same as charlie kirk’s wife erika. he has publicly gone on record being like oh yeah i wish my wife wasn’t hindu and that she’ll “see the light of christianity” or whatever the fuck. i hate these two faced white-pandering typically upper caste cunts who think assimilating with whiteness and being the model minority will save them and then when predictably the face-eating-leopards eat their faces they will run back to the community they worked against and helped oppress crying about oppression. you will not find my sympathy. you will not find my support. i will not be surprised if jd vance leaves usha vance and then marries erika kirk and tries to build on charlie kirk’s death to bid for the us presidency. but that’s just me. anyways. enough talking and thinking about us politics for me for today. one day the domestic affairs of this one country will stop impacting the livelihoods of the rest of the world and i will be free from having to know about it in order to under wider geopolitics. or even just what happens in the country/countries i live in.