#skeleton08

Jaune: What the hell are you talking about, Yang?! I don't have any gray hair! At least, not since the last time I checked.

Blake: Weren't you the Rusted Knight the last time you checked?

Ruby: (Thinking) Oh no... Jaune is getting old... I have to say something meaningful so he knows I still care about him through this difficult time.

Weiss: Here, let me pull it out.

Jaune: No! I'll just get more!

Ruby: (Crying) J-Jaune, I love you... I'm gonna miss you when you die~!

Original Comic- prettyprotagswag

http://prettyprotagswag.tumblr.com/post/122627923621/what-do-you-mean-this-isnt-how-it-happened

Jaune: Why are you wearing women's clothes?

Mercury: Uh... Just because?

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Mercury: (Bridal carried by Jaune) Y'know, if the internet saw us right now, they would be having FITS!

Jaune: What are you talking about?

Mercury: We must go to different websites, I guess.

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Mercury: (Tied up with Jaune) If you don't quit squirming, I'm going to "unload my shells" right into your "sword sheath"! And by sword sheath, I mean-

Jaune: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Mercury: WHAT?! I'm a red-blooded young adult male! It's friction and junk-ology and spandex grinding against leather and JUST PLEASE stop wiggling your bondage rope-

Jaune: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN THINK?!

Mercury: DON'T YELL AT ME! That's totally one of my turn-ons!

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Mercury: You saved me~!

Mercury: Just remember, anytime you need hole-filling-

Jaune: Aaand you ruined it!

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Jaune: We are NOT your dads!

Mercury: Don't listen to Daddy Arc, Kiddo~!

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Mercury: Oh no... You drank TOO MUCH succubus juice!

Jaune: (Dancing) Actually, this is the most free I've felt in MONTHS! GET UP HERE! That is, unless you're rhythmically challenged~!

Mercury: YOU DARE QUESTION MY MOVES?! Fine! These ladies want the Merc? (Dancing) THEY'RE GONNA GET THE MOUTH~!

Jaune: BRING IT!

Mercury: (Dancing against Jaune) You... You're really putting on a show, dude!

Jaune: This will never, EVER happen in my life again! I might as well enjoy it~!

Mercury: You sunshine-assed little maniac~! DANCE, YOU FOOL, DANCE~!

Cinder: How long do you think we can make them do this~?

Pyrrha: Until it bores us~.

Cinder: You're alright, Nikos.

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Jaune: ...Why are you holding my hand?

Mercury: It helps me focus...

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Jaune: (Holding Arkos art) Uh, what is this?

Mercury: (Yoink!) NOTHING! Just some fan-art~!

Artist: No, it's true! You were in love-

Mercury: Yeah, with me~!

Jaune: I don't know if I believe you.

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Jaune: MERCURY?! Argh... Figures...

Oscar: I... I don't understand... The spell was supposed to summon your soulmate... I must have messed up the spell!

Jaune: Soulmates?! We're just friends, Oscar!

Mercury: That's what YOU think! But this proves otherwise. It's science!

Jaune: It's not science; it's magic!

Jaune: Really?

Ren: Do tell.

Nora: Oh, ha ha! No, but really, I've been reading all of these alternate universe stories, and I noticed something.

Ren: You've been reading AUs?

Jaune: I thought you were watching cat videos.

Nora: I can do two things! But there was something I noticed. Everyone always imagines me as an evil underling! Why is that?

Ren: Well, you're a good friend, and you're always helping others.

Nora: So is Jaune, but he's always the main villain his AUs! There's never an AU with me as the main villain, and you guys as my underlings!

Jaune: Well, I'm sure there's at least one-

Nora: Nope! Scoured them all!

Ren: You've read every alternate universe story?

Nora: Yup!

Jaune: All the ones on Scrimblr?

Nora: Absolutely!

Ren: And the ones on Schneeter?

Nora: Read 'em all!

Jaune: Quik-Snap?

Nora: I, er, haven't checked there yet, but I'm sure I've seen them all! My point is you're the main bad guy, and I'm the underling! That's bull! I am way more evil than you!

Jaune: You're more evil than me?

Nora: Yeah! I'm destructive, I'm chaotic, I'm violent with anything I don't like.

Jaune: I mean, you're really energentic, but I've never saw you like that. Have you, Ren?

Ren: Every day of my life, Jaune.

Nora: It's a bunch of hooey! I should be the main bad guy! Me, not Jaune!

Jaune: What about Ren?

Nora: Huh?

Jaune: Think about it. Ren would make for a great villain. He's quiet, he's methodical, he can read people with just a look...

Ren: Guys?

Nora: You know, he has been acting kind of weird, lately...

Ren: Guys?

Jaune: And he knows when to stay out of it and let other people fight.

Ren: That's just good tactics.

Nora: Exactly what a villain would say.

Ren: Huh?