Weekly Update 3
 Fri 13 Oct 2017: An unexpectedly painful evening. I've been refining the melody for (D) all week and now I have the chance to record the ideas. I change the melody line and render but for some reason it's not working. Multiple attempts make no difference. Major frustration! This kills me - all I want to do is save my ideas but technology can be a spiteful bitch. Eventually some troubleshooting solves the problem; it looks like a VSTi plugin might be corrupted so I replace it. I render the results and call it a night.
Sat 14 Oct 2017: Today is a photo day with Em so I don't get into the studio until mid afternoon. I have ideas for the middle of (D) and work on melody and chords. It's OK and I think it will be better when I add some atmosphere to the recording. I rearrange the demo to construct the final song structure. The song is a little too high for me to sing comfortably so I transpose it down 3 semitones. That's the first song demo finished.
Sun 15 Oct 2017: I awake with some new ideas to improve the middle of (D) I worked on yesterday. Instead of just being a break I think I should turn it into the climax of the song. I also have the proper title I've been searching for. I play with some ideas and they work really well. I'm happier with it now. Still not 100% sure of the ending. Might reprise the middle but that's a decision I can leave until later. Next I work on the chorus for (NIW). I already have some lines so I need to work out chords and melody that naturally progress from the chorus. It's a bit challenging because the verse slightly modulates around the place. But I persist to a point where I'm 80% happy then a chance note - changing the base note from C to F - gets it across the line. I arrange the verses and choruses and that's the second song structure finished. This one's already in a good key for me, so no transposition is required. After some lyric fine tuning I record a demo vocal for both songs. The vocals are dreadful but I expect that for a first try and I've certainly done worse. So now I have my first two complete songs and simple demos. I also have the final song titles: (D) has become "Killing Light" and (NIW) has become "Liar". For the remainder of the day I write up the music and lyrics for both songs, ready for pitch correction and harmonies later on. Then, just before bed, I have another listen to the two demos. The vocals are truly awful, but I know from past experience that they should improve. And I am really pleased with the chords and melodies. Still, I can't help but feel a little deflated. It's such a long process and so much work yet to do.
Mon 16 Oct 2017: The disaster of yesterday's vocal efforts has been weighing heavily on my mind. Although I'm still very pleased with the music, these early vocal attempts have scared me that I just don't have it in me to get this album across the line. When I started, I wasn't certain I would be able to finish and that prospect is looming large right now. I know I could try to work with proper singers instead of compromising with my own voice but I'm not really a collaborator and these songs are too personal to hand to someone else. So I'm going to try some basic post editing of the vocals to get a sense of how much I can clean them up. The original plan was to write and create demos for all the songs before starting production, but now I'm considering producing these two songs first to prove to myself that I can get them where I want them. And if not, think about abandoning the project. I'll see how I feel later in the week. During the day in the office I'm in a grey mood. I realise I'm soon feeling exactly the way that (D) is meant to be about. The upside is that I tap into those feelings and question whether the verse lyrics really capture them. I don't think they do. Maybe I should have another go. After work I edit the vocals for (NIW) and feel a little better about them. The vocals for (D), however, sound even worse tonight, if that's possible.
