I finally figured it out oh my gods
for awhile I’ve kinda struggled with describing how I’m mainly a marten and a canine in some physical sense, feeling kinda weird about how I’m two species technically. With my other kins I’ve always been able to explain them as a part of my identity picked up as a coping mechanism or kinda just randomly spawning but they are mostly on some other level other then physical
But I think I figured it out
I believe I was definitely born a marten in some way, there was some internal fuck up that wired my brain different then it was supposed to be like, so I view my body as some form of mustelid and act very similarly to other mustelids. It’s heavily connected to my neurodivergence and neurological issues
I’m a canine because I was taught to be one from the media I consumed and the dog that raised me. It’s always been a bit more if a “psychological” identity because of that but I still view it as physical at least a good chunk of the time, likely due to dissociation, trauma, and just viewing myself as a dog for so long changing part of my brain to view myself as such
I’m like a goddamn nature vs nurture experiment
that’s the best way to put it
I was born a marten, but through external factors was made to be a canine
I’m so glad I have a way to explain this now-