#silverdeadnight

theinsanityinsideme, autonomousartisan, sobermotherfuckinggamzee, marshmallowfeferi, silverdeadnight and a whole bunch of others appeared in my dream.

Here is the sum up of what happened.

So my dad is driving my mom and I some place, dunno where, and my mother upsets him so he drives onto a train tracks- keeps going- and then dumps us off in the middle of nowhere.

Well as it turns out I sorta know where we are, close to a mini shopping district. I tell me mom about this and we start walking there. Well, we get lost and separated. I somehow end up at Bakuretsucon (a small con in VT) and forget about finding a way home or my mother and end up cosplaying.

Here I run into silverdeadnight (my bf) and he tries to get me home by taking a short cut through a  mall. Well that doesn't work because we aren't Mall Club Members or some bs, so security is trying to chase us out/kill us. We end up running away, trying to blend in, etc- until we are back at the con, tired and worn out.

Now we run into theinsanityinsideme, autonomousartisan, sobermotherfuckinggamzee, marshmallowfeferi- all doing some homestuck cosplay. Hunter being Tavvy, Jake being Disciple, Allyen is being Redglare, and fef is being Feferi. They all decide to help me get back home and sneak us all through the mall.

Well that was a horrible idea. A huge group trying to be sneaky was not a bright idea. I blame Allyen it was his plan. So, we are sneaking through this mall that suddenly became top security like an international airport. We are trying to sneak about when Jake gets his wig stuck in turbine- not running mind you- and Fef and I have to help free him Everyone else kept going, jerks. But because we helped him, the guards were now onto us. So we all bolt for the fence.

Allyen makes it over with ease, Silver gets over easily. I give Fef a boost and Jake helps me up- but I get caught and tangled. I manged to get free, covered and cuts. Jake gets over the bared fence too but now there are hundreds of guards.

We run, and run- and somehow end up at Allyen's house, where his parents are having a dinner party Now I have never meet or seen them, so in my dream they looked rich white people, all haughty and shit. Poloshirts and sweater vests. His parents begrudgingly hide us, where we all calm down.

My mom somehow finds me and Allyens mothers decides to drive us to my mothers car. But everyone else whats to come to, she lets them.

We all pile into a van, sitting on one another. I think I am either on Hunters lap or Allyens.... dunno why- at this point Silver vanished somehow.... We end up signing and arguing, blah, blah, car shenanigans- until we get to my mothers car. We get out, I say my good byes to everyone I care about, and my mother and I start to drive home.

inTERNAL SCREAMINGS

sorr y im

thank you!! ahh!

A slightly-late-birthday post for a wonderful friend.

Soft as an angels voice, she speaks out with the intelligence of Athena. She is proper in ways she does not understand and persists through tolerance of others to a degree I'd surely crack under. Her radiance once frightened me in its arrival, to feel I was not to meet her level. She insisted otherwise and yet, she still seems so high above. 

It's late but I cannot push aside the feelings of regret that I could not grant her a gift for the day of her birth! A day of upbringing and history for her, all to be shown with nothing but lack of a present and silence. I lower my head at the thought of the actions I promised but could not keep. Here I sit, in front of a blinding bright screen, eyes sore and mind racing wondering how, oh how would I ever appease her?

Tension rising as I read the words typed along with every keystroke, it baffles me to no end, what could make her happy? To grant the woman whom acts so gracefully, a proper smile, a wonderful feeling. I feel the role of a fool, trying to impress a Queen. Lacking of talent and a proper Idea I can only grant thoughts and empty hands, sadly. 

I've no money, no items of value, no voice of talent that could show my gratitude for her birth and bring solace to her, to show that she's a wonderful person in the eyes of I.

She must lift her head, no depression should be bestowed upon her on a day as joyous as such should be. I stand beside her as only best I can, a friend of lack-luster talents and memories of fondness. I will remain to help bring her to her feet when she falls to her knees and needs that helping hand to pull her up out of the depths of despair.

Smiling for me, just as she should always be able to. She is a truly brilliant glow in the dark of this quite cold world. She's a talented one, a beauty to those of which I find far compare to her. I take pride in knowing I've her to stand by and her to help. I'd trade my world to stay her friend. She is Emily and she is a truly great person, and friend.