#sidonis

Rated M for Graphic Depictions of Violence.

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A knot formed in Garrus's stomach as he approached their base of operations. Something felt off, but he couldn't put his finger on what. Later, he would realize it was the silence.

Maybe that's why he chose to lure him away while the mercs slaughtered the rest of the group?

Over a decade later, Laoise Shepard still finds herself grappling with her past. Can she let go long enough to help Garrus come to terms with his?

Flashing lights. Sprinkler water splashing off stacks of cargo bins with inventory no one will miss. An abandoned warehouse in West Philly. One two three four five six shots.

"Harkin's a bloody menace." Garrus's disgruntled tone wrenched Laoise Shepard out of her memories and back into their dismal reality. The two sat in a rapid-transit taxi parked in front of the Orbital Lounge, the bar where Harkin, former C-Sec officer and now fence for criminals evading detection, promised their target could be found. "We shouldn't have just let him go. He deserved to be punished."

The commander sighed deeply before responding. She was grateful it was just the two of them: they had been bickering all day about his hunger for revenge, her attempting to appeal to his better, gentler nature, him to her rigid sense of justice. "I'm getting a little worried about you, Garrus. You were pretty hard on Harkin." Her thoughts went back to the Citadel’s factory district and the dark look that crossed her partner's face as he leveled his gun at Harkin's kneecaps. Even though Laoise prevented him from landing the shot, it didn't stop him from bashing his solid turian forehead against the lowlife's tender human one, leaving him collapsed on the floor in a sniveling heap.

"You don't think he deserved it?" Fair question – she half-wondered if he picked up the headbutt from her own attempts at krogan diplomacy.

"It's just not like you."

The turian turned to avoid her gaze, but she still felt him tense up at her concerns. "What do you want from me, Shepard? What would you do if someone betrayed you?" He practically begged her for an answer.

One two three four five six shots.

"I…" She hesitated. "I know better than you think. And it hasn't changed me." A lie.

Garrus scoffed at her vague dismissal. "I would've said the same thing before it happened to me. Well, I’m glad you have such steely resolve, Shep.”

His usual nickname for her dripped with apparent vitriol. She fought to keep her breathing steady and calm; his walls were already up, and she didn't want to make things worse. Neither of them enjoyed verbal disagreements – sparring was their preferred way to resolve disputes – but there wasn’t much room for throwing punches in the front seat of the cab. There was no avoiding the difficult conversation, no physicality to hide her emotional investment in the situation.

"It's not too late. You don't have to go through with this." Shepard's voice cracked despite her efforts. By the pointed look Garrus gave her when he whipped around to face her once more, he either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Who's going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?" His question was loud, frantic. "Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else cares." When his eyes met hers, he turned away again, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't see any other options."

One two three four five six Reds. Faces floating in a pool of dirty, bloody water.

Shepard felt a familiar pain deep in her gut. Garrus's appeals read like her own journal entries, but with no Alliance-issued therapist thumbing through his past like a fascinating gossip magazine asking him prying questions about it. She shuddered at the memories but held her tongue – now wasn't the time.

"Let me talk to him." Yeah, that had worked out so well for her before.

It was like the turian read her mind. He let out a dry cackle in response to her offer. "Talk all you want. It won't change my mind. I don't care what his reasons were, he screwed us. He deserves to die."

"I understand what you're going through – but do you really want to kill him?"

"I appreciate your concern. But I'm not you."

"This isn't you, either." Laoise insisted, hoping to break through to Garrus. Instead, he gave her a stunned look.

"Really?" he asked wryly, "I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this… why should he go on living while ten good men lie in unmarked graves?"

One two three four five six unmarked graves in an unseen corner in Philadelphia.

Femshep: There's no such thing as killing someone "a little bit"

Garrus: I don't know, I think Alenko died a little bit when you told him you had absolutely no interest in him romantically

Femshep:

Garrus:

Femshep: So what, you're going to "kill" Sidonis by telling him you don't dream of him naked in the moonlight?

When you find Garrus he is frustrated by how the law limits him and finds some measure of freedom with Shepard. After Shepards death, Garrus becomes lost. Going from cop to hunting down criminals are random is one hell of shift and suggests Garrus didn't cope with Shepards loss well. Through out ME1 you have the chance to remind Garrus being good is more than just catching bad guys and not all costs are worth paying. Garrus becomes lost without Shepard, and when you rescue him in Omega, you are doing more than keeping him safe, you are rescuing Garrus not Archangel. that rescue doesn't become complete until the face off with Sidonis. Garrus blames Sidonis for the loss of him men, but it is also clear that Garrus also blames himself.

We don't see what Garrus promised to the other that joined him, but stable happy people don't disappear to the worse part of the galaxy to murder people. He didn't promise then death in back ally. Garrus knows that both his choice to bring them along led them to a fight they couldn't win. Garrus wants justice but he struggle to understand what it means to be just.

In his wildest dreams

I admire people who can write, my whole love goes to those creatives that make stories to get lost. I would probably be in a foul mood if it wasn´t for those epic writing skills. I normally do not leave comments cause its very intimidating for me to do so. Imagine a simple mortal like me trying to make sense with words. It is a barrier that I need to pulldown (and hopefully will make myself do, there are lots of amazing stories and I can’t seem to tell their creators how awesome and what a great time it’s been reading them).

Now I can relate that as creatives we need feedback to improve, but it is so hard to sit down, focus and write a friggin good comment. Cannot imagine the whole ordeal to make a full written story. So, you writers are my inspiration.  

This one has been eluding me for so long, but I got to stop stalling, will probably update. I love what the fandom can achieve with this character. My favorite Sidonis: the one who’s in love with Garrus. And so heart broken and all that still saves him while condemning the rest of the squad. https://archiveofourown.org/works/908825/chapters/1759967 by @lady-halibuts-convos . And the runner up Sidonis is: best friend that betrays not voluntary. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6735812/1/The-Spirit-of-Redemption

OMG I wrote a lot for someone who claims not to be able to do it, but you should’ve seen how long it took me. Anyways tech stuff Wacom+photoshopuf