#side zarry

The thing is, Louis is jealous. Jealous because Nick is out there flirting with pretty boys, so many pretty boys that Louis even has trouble keeping track (not that he really is keeping track, but he knows that if he were to be one to keep track of Nicholas Grimshaw’s romantic encounters, he probably would have trouble to) and well excuse him for being a bit jealous. Anyone would be. Anyone.

The big problem is not that he is jealous, the big problem is that it’s all his fault, he chose to not be the one Nick flirts with, he chose to stay away and not be honest and now here he is.

He resists temptation to kick an innocent bin on the way out from the hotel, finding his pack of cigarettes and lighting one up. Just the first drag has him feeling better, and he closes his eyes as he leans against a tree just taking in the chilly London air. Normally he would be worried about someone seeing him, but right now he isn’t.“Didn’t your mama ever teach you to not storm off?” Louis rolls his eyes as he hears Harry. Of course Harry would follow him. “Didn’t your mama ever teach you to not run after people that are storming off?” he retorts. Harry shrugs, standing next to him.“Clearly not. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”Louis glares at him.“Seriously, I storm off and you think I want to talk about it? Wrong Harold, wrong.”Harry tilts his head, watching Louis with sad eyes.“I wish you didn’t keep everything inside, Louis. It’s much easier if you talk about it.”“Yeah?” Louis says, heart beating as he knows he shouldn’t say anything, but he can’t help it, Harry’s got him cornered. “Can we talk about how you have kept your mouth shut for 6 months, huh? Or is the whole talking about your feelings only for me, and not about you being a shut in case about Zayn leaving?”There’s a shadow over Harry’s face, a darkness rarely seen in the other, and Louis knows he has probably gone too far, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Harry punched him.Harry doesn’t punch him. Harry just sighs.“Will you ever stop making everything about everyone else around you? This isn’t about me, this isn’t about Zayn, this is about you and the way you clearly are in love with Nick and won’t admit to it.”It’s worse than a punch, honestly. It’s way worse.“I’m not in love with Nick,” Louis spits out. “When will everyone stop thinking that?”“Maybe when you stop being in love with him,” Harry shrugs, before continuing. “Does he know? That you’re in love with him?”“Well, why don’t you ask him, he is your best friend and clearly you already know everything,” Louis says, sounding fake sweet. He finishes his cigarette, dropping it on the ground as he puts it out with his heel extra hard. Harry runs a hand through long curls. “Maybe if you just spoke to him...”“What will that change?” Louis shouts, and he hadn’t plan to raise his voice but he can’t stop it. “Will it stop him flirting with everyone? Will it stop everyone from flirting with him? Will it stop him from looking like he is so much better off with Michael or Douglas or even you?” he feels his voice shake at the end of the sentence, not wanting to go on.“Louis...” Harry tries again. Louis shakes his head.“I’m going to bed. See you.”He storms off again. Harry doesn’t follow him.

When Louis wakes up it’s 7am and he can’t believe he is up this early. He hasn’t been since Nick used to wake him up just before going on radio. He hasn’t been up this early since the last time Nick kissed him and then told him he couldn’t do this unless Louis was ready to admit his feelings.Louis didn’t admit his feelings. And Nick left and Louis was alone and Nick is off living life as Louis is pining. It’s ridiculous that he is feeling sorry for himself when he knows it’s all his fault. He could have changed it, he didn’t. He is just dozing off again when he hears Nick talking. “And I texted Harry for tickets, and I was...”Louis sits up. He listens to the rest of it, wondering if he is hearing correctly. Is Nick coming to the show? To his show? Their show? His heart is beating faster. He hasn’t seen Nick for so long and for the first time since they started On the road again tour, he is nervous. He listens to the last of it, feeling a slight pain as they seem to mention all the boys except for him. Not that he had expected anything else. He glances over to his phone, and then thinks ‘what the hell’ as he grabs it, opening up the texting app and finding Nick’s contact.‘don’t you have anything better to do than go to boyband concerts?’He sends, so very proud of himself in the second it takes him to hit send. His heart is beating faster when he gets a text back.‘are you saying I shouldn’t go?’ Nick texts back, no emojis, nothing, and Louis feels like he is going to throw up. He doesn’t though, instead he texts back.‘no, you are allowed to do what you want, it’s a free country. does it matter what i think anyway because considering your talk one could think i fucked off and left the band with zayn since you only talk about three members.’He wonders why he is so salty. Quickly getting two texts back.‘you were listening?’‘You’re an idiot Louis if you think that’s the reason I don’t talk about you.’Louis’ heart is beating faster. Why is he like this? Why can’t he be normal around Nick? He texts back.‘Yeah, the reason must be you don’t want Douglas to hear. Or Michael. Or that guy from your show who, by the way, looked ridiculous in red.’He knows he must have crossed the line and apparently Nick thinks so too because he doesn’t get a text back, but instead Nick’s name flashes over his screen signalling a call coming in. Louis swallows before he picks up.“Are you for real?” Nick yells into the phone, and Louis knows he fucked up. He knows it. “Are you seriously gonna sit there and act like this? Go fuck yourself Louis, I didn’t chose to break things off, you did. We weren’t even a thing actually according to you, so don’t you dare go telling me who I can’t hang out with.”“You left!” Louis says, even if he knows that is unfair. “If you had just chosen to...”“To what?!” Nick yells and Louis wonders where he is, because he can’t be this loud at work without Fiona or the others noticing. “To fight for someone who clearly stated he doesn’t want to be fought for? No, Louis, I won’t. So maybe you should shut up, sit down and stop acting like the bratty spoiled popstar we all know you are.”Louis wants to cry. Nick hurts him in ways no one else does, and he isn’t even sure why.“Fuck you, don’t you dare come to the show tonight,” he says weakly and Nick lets out a laugh. “Maybe I’ll bring a date,” he hisses into the phone. “Just to piss you off even more.”When he hangs up on Louis, Louis is glad, because he breaks down seconds after. 

--

“You’re not being yourself, that’s all I’m saying mate,” Niall comments. He is fixing something with his guitar as Louis paces back and forth. Harry sighs.“He had a fight with Nick.”Louis snaps his head in his direction, glaring.“How do you know?”“He told me,” Harry says coldly. “Right after telling me he isn’t coming tonight after all. So you got your wish, didn’t you?”Louis’ jaw drops. He swallows.“Harry..”“Don’t worry,” Harry says, shaking his head, but Louis can see he is pissed. Pissed in that Harry Styles way that is calm and reserved. “Just my best friend not seeing me live at the O2, I can handle it.”Louis stares at him, then the time, and then back to Niall and Liam who seems a bit out of the loop.“How long until soundcheck?”“What?” Liam asks. “Why...”“How long?”“An hour but...”“I’ll be here then,” Louis says, and he grabs his phone before anyone can say something else. “I’ll be back soon.”He hears them shouting something, but he is busy calling for a taxi.