#sicheng

As empress, you faced a lot of scrutiny, even from your ministers. Your beauty is timeless—unparalleled throughout the world, some would argue. That did nothing to help you. Most believed a woman is delicate, and should only ever tend to the affairs of the palace and family—but you were no ordinary woman.

In the eight years that you've ruled, you've proven yourself to your ministers and people time and time again. At first, there were countless times the ministers doubted you, and their lack of faith led you to spend countless days overcoming the difficulties of being a woman. A strong woman that led only female soldiers to victory against the enemies your father had faced—but failed to beat.

And despite their reservations, your ministers fell into your favor as you proved how much of a competent leader you were. But it does not mean they are without fault. Your court still finds faults with you, despite what you've overcome.

The old men then begged for an immediate expedition to the wall, and for you to consider raising an army of hundreds of thousands. All to expel the Huns' barbarity from their beloved lands.

You had half a mind to berate them as they justified sending thousands of women to the battlefield in the name of honor. But you were at a crossroads—it was the only choice you had, to continue fighting this war, or suffer another devastating attack.

Still, was this the right course?

With a deep sigh, you looked beyond the veil.

"Prime Minister Hsu," Your voice echoes throughout the Royal Court.

A grey haired man kneeled before you. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Prepare the armies for immediate action," you commanded. "I will personally lead this war, but only if all of my ministers agree, that is." You glance across the ministers to judge their reaction. You folded your hands in your lap. "Her Majesty, the Empress Dowager will oversee the imperial court, with your guidance Prime Minister."

"You cannot fight on the front lines, Your Majesty!" The men raised their voices, but not loudly enough to disrespect you.

"You do not believe I am capable?" You kept your chin up high.

"Forgive us," they cried, dropping to the ground. "We have no doubt that Your Majesty's fighting capabilities have remained the same. However," They nervously look around the Royal Court, to meet the cold gaze of the Daughter of Heaven, who stared down her subjects. "Your Majesty is very important, we can't afford to risk losing you. You've yet to produce an heir!"

That was true. It was imperative that you'd produce a child as soon as possible.

"Then you should pray for my victory so that I can return swiftly and bear an heir," you say. "Minister Liao, draw up an edict that every eligible and able-bodied female will be drafted into the war effort. Send all soldiers who can and will fight to the north, to the border between us and the Huns.”

Minister Liao raised an eyebrow. “What about the men?”

You shake your head and pointed out, "We do not have the numbers or time to organize a separate division for the men. Those who served under my father will retain their position but no new men will be drafted. They will stay behind to protect their fields, their businesses and their home. Times have changed Minister Liao. We lost many men during my father's reign to battle. Men who left widowed wives, and left behind their children fatherless. It is time we change our thinking."

"This is madness," another minister, Chen, argued but was silenced when you locked eyes. He bit back his tongue and bowed deeply in your direction.

“Yes, your majesty.” Minister Liao bowed. Though Minister Liao accepted your orders without protest, the other ministers did not agree. But you are the law, and all were subject to the rule of the Empress. No matter who disagreed with her.

“In the meantime, we will send our prayers to the ancestors, asking for strength and good fortune." You rose from the seat behind the screen. The ministers watch you intently. "I will depart at dawn, take up my sword and spear, and bring honor back to our glorious empire. May the ancestors guide my path."

As you rounded the curtain, the ministers began a cacophony of chanting. "May the Emperess live and reign for ten thousand years!"

Dong Sicheng sighed as he walked into the matchmaker's tea house.

When Xie Meilin expressed her desire to marry Sicheng, she begged her father—Sicheng's former military commander—to arrange a marriage to her. Xie Yunxi agreed, not knowing that Sicheng didn't even want to enter the marriage mart, nor be married at all. His parents only wanted him married, not because they wanted him to be happy, but because he was the eldest son and heir to his family's ancestral name.

Sicheng only wanted freedom, not to be stuck in a marriage where he would have to listen to his wife's every whim and take care of the children. Ever since the Empress's reign started eight years ago, women had started taking on the roles that men once dominated. Although there were men still in court, women ruled the domestic market and started entering the military. As a result of this drastic shift in the sexes' roles, men were forced to assume the duties of women like cooking, cleaning, sewing, and childcare, while women, were no longer confined to domestic life. Instead, women have begun training to defend the empire, which also helped contribute to the shrinking male population.

He was a warrior by nature—and as a man of honor and duty, his martial skills are essential to the wellbeing of the realm. Having served the former emperor and defending the southern borders, Sicheng wanted to continue making a name for himself. But when the emperor passed and the current Empress came to power, the men at the Southern border were replaced by the female regiment the empress ordered.

Once the dynasty turned to the matriarchy and women-dominated the military and domestic scene, there was no place for the remaining males, besides at home or in the matchmaking business. In the end, Sicheng had to resign from his position as a captain to join his parents run the family's silk business since his father had many duties as a minor official.

Since his transition to being a businessman and the future master of his household was a rocky one, he desperately clung onto his free life, as long as he could. He tried to prolong his bachelorhood. But that wish had vanished, and now he found himself seated at a tea table with Xie Meilin. He hoped today would go well, that his mother was wrong, and Xie Meilin was a woman just after his wealth and status. But a nagging feeling told him to leave, that there would be no reason to be there at all.

"You want to what?" Xie Meilin froze, teacup still hovering before her mouth.

Sicheng dug into the bowl of candied lotus root on their shared tray, oblivious of the heat on his fingers. "I don't want to go through with an arranged marriage," he said through mouthfuls of sugar.

Meilin stared incredulously at Sicheng's lax posture as he ate. "So what are you saying?"

"Can't I just not marry?" He gave her a shrug, swallowing the sweetness.

"Then what will you do, Dong Sicheng?" She shot him an exasperated look. "You're not getting any younger. You know how rare men like you are nowadays, if I let you get away, no man would ever want me!"

"You'll have plenty of men falling on their knees for you!" He threw his hands around for emphasis. "I want to explore the world and discover new places! You know how badly I've been wanting to travel," he scoffed and sat back in the hard wooden chair, folding his arms. "And I can't do that if I'm to be a husband and take care of the house and children."

“So you’d just going to leave me here alone? All the other ladies have found themselves matches, Dong Sicheng!" She buried her head in her palms. Meilin had been hoping that Sicheng would agree to the match since he was the best match. "What will my father, your former military commander, say if he learns of this? What if the whole city hears that I have no husband because you want to see the world instead of marrying me!? You may have no regard for your reputation, but I care a great deal about mine!"

"I'm sorry Meilin, I don't intend to disrespect you. But don't you think that you deserve better than this?" Sicheng gestured to himself. "You deserve someone who's going to devote his life to you, love you, not me."

"But I can never see a future with another man..."

"You'll find one, I promise." Sicheng took her hand and brushed a thumb against her knuckles. "When you find the man that's willing to give you everything, he'll be your forever."

Xie Meilin's face paled as the words left his lips. "You will never survive out there Dong Sicheng. The world is dominated by women now. You will never survive without the comfort and protection a wife will bring."

"I'm sorry Meilin," he squeezed her hand before letting it go and stood to leave. "Please tell your father, I apologize, but this is something I have to do. There's no changing my mind. The gods will keep you safe."

Meilin began to feel dread in the pit of her stomach as her childhood friend rose, pushing the tray aside. Her eyes went wide, frantically following his motions, as he rounded the table, until he had fully fled the tearoom.

Sicheng breathed out a sigh of relief, running a hand down his face. If Sicheng had stayed even another second in the tea house, Xie Meilin and he would be matched for life and he was no where near prepared for marriage. It was no secret that Meilin, as the daughter of Sicheng's mentor, Commander Xie, had wanted to match with him since their coming-of-age ceremonies. But no matter how badly she tried to convince him that they'd make a good pair, he was not convinced.

Walking through the marketplace, Sicheng saw numerous people gathering by the front of the city's entrance gates, with soldiers mounted on horses patrolling the streets. In all his years living in the city of Wenzhou, the gates were rarely closed and the military was rarely seen walking the city.

"Hey! Why has the gate closed off!?" Someone from the crowd yelled.

"Empress's orders!" A female soldier atop her horse said. "All female citizens of Wenzhou, regardless of gender or class, have been ordered to attend a draft!"

A gasp ripples through the crowd. "A draft? You've got to be joking! She can't just do this, can she?" Another bystander asked.

The woman pointed her lance to the sky and silenced the crowd. "Anyone who fails to obey the draft is subject to a charge of treason against the Imperial Court!"

"A draft!?" the first person from before yelled again. "Isn't this unfair? There hasn't been a draft since the former emperor and that was years ago to defend the Southern borders! Why are we drafting if the enemy was driven out years ago?"

"Her Imperial Majesty the Empress, has summoned an expedition against the Northern border," she clarified. "Any female able-bodied enough, will join the cause. Failure to report, will result in dishonor and the destruction of one's house. That is all!"

Sicheng joined his family's presence on the street, as other people lined up near the main gate. In total, there were around twenty young adults being conscripted into the military and divided into three groups, according to age: fifteen to sixteen, seventeen to eighteen and nineteen and above.

"Is anyone from the Dong Family here?" An Imperial Scout scanned the faces from a high post. Sicheng watched as his sister raised a timid hand. "Are you the only one?"

His father placed a strong grip on their daughter's shoulder, as they looked up to the scout.

"Please, my daughter is to be wed soon." His father protested. "She mustn't fight!"

"My condolences, Official Dong, but these are orders straight from the Imperial City," the soldier said. "From now on, these are new times, and this war will determine the future of our nation. Anyone who defies her Majesty, will no longer exist." She drew her bow from her back, preparing her arrow. "Orders are orders!"

"I have a son," Official Dong's voice cracked. He's never once lost his composure in front of so many people before. "He's served at the Southern borders with my wife's brother and has experience under his belt. Isn't there an exception that he can be drafted in their place, rather than my daughter?"

"Official Dong, you of all people know, that men are needed to tend to the home, the farms and families," the soldier sighed. "As capable as your son is, these are different times now. Your son has done enough for our nation and now it is time for him to fulfill his responsibility, to his household and the family."

"But—"

The soldier cuts off Official Dong and everyone took a collective breath, watching the scout load the arrow in her bow, ready to shoot at the Dongs.

Sicheng quickly moved from his spot in the crowd, rushing past other townspeople and towards the scout. He stopped when his sister saw him and put her hands up in the air to defend the family.

"Caiwei!" Sicheng cried. "What are you doing!?"

She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. "It is my duty as the daughter of the Dong clan. I will protect the Dong House as long as my heart still beats."

Sicheng watched as the scroll was placed in his sister's shaking hands. "You are hereby enlisted, Dong Caiwei, as a member of the Imperial Military," the scout announced, pointing to the large print on the scroll. "In ten days, you will report to the training grounds, where your journey into becoming an officer begins."

Sicheng's hands curled into a ball, eyes never leaving Caiwei's terrified figure. His sister was raised as a lady that was skilled in embroidery and knew all the social graces required for her age; not the art of war. Now, he was witnessing a young woman be whisked away from her home, and her family, because an Empress called it so.

His heart couldn't take much more, and Sicheng looked back at his parents, whose tear-stained eyes told him they were hopeless to do anything to help their daughter even if they were one of the Empress's own officials, minor or not. The Empress's words are law—no matter the price.

He couldn't let his sister be drafted. Not now, nor ever. It was unbecoming for a nobleman's daughter to fight, despite the changing times. He couldn't live knowing her fate, so he had no other choice.

That afternoon was full of grieving families, parting ways and promises to keep in touch. In ten short days, the daughters, sons, wives and husbands would begin a dangerous path into joining the military and would embark into a life of struggle and war.

Sicheng couldn't have that for Caiwei, he'd never forgive himself if his sister was harmed or hurt. Grabbing his sword and cloak, the young man ventured outside the safety of his home.

This was his only chance to protect his sister, or risk never seeing her again.

You watched from the sidelines, as rows upon rows of young soldiers lined in the military training camps, while their respective instructors discussed tactics and formations to the battalions of girls. You kept to yourself, quietly looking around as the officers yelled to the girls about battle strategy, which weapon was suitable, the basics of using the tools in battle.

You were talking to a male general that had been in service since the dynasty fell to you. General Wu and the other remaining senior male military generals stayed in their positions, serving alongside you and guiding you along the way. Even after the matriarchy began, they made sure to welcome their female comrades without hesitation. It was an interesting dynamic to say the least.

"Your Majesty," one of the higher-ranking female officials walked into the tent, and bowed.

"I've told you many times, Captain Luo to address me as general." You insisted and paused in conversation with General Wu. "I understand that I'm the empress, but while we train these battalions, treat me no differently."

General Wu crossed his arms, silently nodding along.

Captain Luo bowed again. "Understood." She brought her fist to her palm and bowed deeply again. "General."

"Well, why did you interrupt us?" General Wu asked.

The female captain nodded. "Sorry, General. There seems to be an unruly woman in the ranks."

"Unruly?" You hummed and squared your shoulders.

"Yes." The captain shifted on her feet. "A rather tall female that already has years of combat experience. She says her teacher was General Xie. I've only met her today, and she's rather...gruff."

"What is this soldier's name?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Dong Caiwei, Your--er, General." Captain Luo cleared her throat and waited for her next order.

"She's one of General Xie's?" Wu questioned. You remember that name vividly. The General that used to lead the defense of the border, right before you assumed the throne. General Wu chuckled at that. "Now I'm really intrigued."

With a curt nod, you made your way to the practice grounds, as Captain Luo led you there. When you arrived, it took you a minute to understand what Luo had meant by unruly.

Standing in front of a soldier was a tall woman, perhaps just as tall as General Wu and broader too. Her eyes were sharp and she glared at her instructor like she wanted to murder her, which was intimidating to say the least.

"Dong Caiwei, is it?" you approached the taller female with General Wu by your side. Your eyes scanned the recruit in her dark leathers, and noted her bold facial structure—an almost boyish quality, similar to that of the males. There was a ferocious intensity in her eyes and posture, similar to what you noticed when your instructors first taught you how to be a fighter and leader. She wasn't pretty but rather handsome, if you can describe a person in such a manner.

Caiwei bent her knee and put her fist in her hand, bowing to the ground. You sensed the respect Caiwei had for authority. "Forgive my insolence, I apologize." You noticed that her voice was rather low for a girl, though not low enough to be considered masculine.

"How many years of martial arts and combat do you have, soldier?" Wu asked.

Caiwei snapped up like lightning and met her commanding officers' eyes. "Thirteen years, general."

"You were one of Xie Yunxi's, no?" Wu furrowed his eyebrows together.

"Yes, General," Caiwei nodded. "I have trained under him since I was fifteen. When my brother served at the southern border, we were learning how to fight."

"Good." He looked pleased with that answer and then looked over at Captain Luo. "What seems to be the problem then?"

Captain Luo pressed her lips together, her fists balling at her side. "She failed to respect the rules of the court, by disrupting the trainings by another female officer."

"What was it that Private Dong did?" You asked.

"She engaged in a fight against a fellow soldier." Luo clicked her tongue.

"Do you agree with the Captain, Private?" You asked Caiwei.

"No General," she said. "It was not a fight but rather a sparring session with another private. I was showing the other girls, especially the younger recruits, different moves on a fellow soldier." Caiwei explained.

You looked at the other female recruits and noticed their small nods, silently confirming what the soldier told you.

You folded your hands before you, feeling a tight squeeze in your chest. Caiwei was no ordinary soldier, you knew. Just by standing there, you can see she's a born fighter. It's all in her movements—she is graceful, quick, light on her feet. Very experienced, more than anyone else here. If what she says is true, then perhaps there can be more use for her in other ranks of the military.

"Captain," you said, breaking the silence between the four of you. "Let her go."

"Pardon?" Captain Luo raised an eyebrow.

"Send Private Dong to General Wu's battalion," you said, General Wu nodding in agreement. "If she has this much experience, then surely there will be more use in her skill than training with new soldiers."

Caiwei didn't appear surprised or grateful but rather her expression was a neutral one. A good quality to have in a military officer.

"As you wish," Captain Luo bowed, leading Caiwei towards the opposite side of the field where the older more experienced soldiers were training.

"A fine choice, Your Majesty. A woman like Dong Caiwei is hard to find. Strong, willing, and skilled. She'd make a valuable asset for any battalion," he said, once you and he were alone.

You offered him a soft smile. "We shall hope," you murmured, taking one last look at the woman and her new surroundings. "There's something about her...her presence almost reminds me of..." You shake your head. "No, it doesn't matter."

"Are you okay, Your Majesty?" he asked.

"Yes," you sighed, walking towards the center of the field. "Let us go check the supplies, shall we?"

Sicheng watched the retreating form of the commanding officers from his place. He knew it was risky to spare with a recruit but it was his way of being prepared and ensuring his own survival.

He was lucky that no one found out that he was a man. Sure, the women were curious about the recruit with boyish features and broad shoulders but to their knowledge, the recruit was Dong Caiwei. No one suspected that Dong Caiwei was male.

"Private Dong," Captain Luo said once they've reached her destination. "You'll now train with the other veteran and seasoned soldiers. Here's to your future."

Sicheng straightened his shoulders and saluted back to the captain, as Luo strode away to command her other charges. As she vanished from the scene, another figure made itself known.

A smaller man wearing all black, with a long dark ponytail and piercing gaze, walked towards Sicheng's group. "I am your instructor, Liutenant Qian Kun. I have served the Imperial Court since the days of the old Emperor and I have been blessed to continue serving under the present. General Wu informed me of your addition to the troop," his eyes raked through Sicheng's figure. "You were one of General Xie Yunxi's?"

Sicheng hesitated before answering. "Yes."

Qian Kun continued to circle him like a vulture. "Tell me soldier, have you ever engaged in battle before?"

"Many times sir," he replied. "While my brother was defending the Southern Borders, I helped defend the town." Sicheng stopped, when the commander halted directly behind him, breathing hot air down his neck.

"Your brother was in the army?" He asked.

"He served under the former Emperor, but once her Majesty came to power, he was replaced with the female regiment." He answered.

Kun's eyebrows narrowed. "Your brother is?"

Sicheng let out a breath. "Dong Sicheng, sir."

"Interesting..." Kun hummed as his eyes drifted towards the others before looking back at him. "What's your name private?"

"Dong Caiwei," Sicheng answered, shoulders relaxing as Kun continued to examine his frame. He fought the urge to panic, but remained cool and collected.

"I didn't know that Official Dong's children were skilled," the commander walked around to the front of the new recruit. "Good. I would hate to waste valuable talent. If you're anything like what I heard about your brother, then I should expect great things."

"Yes sir," Sicheng saluted to his instructor.

After some time, Sicheng was training with the rest of the more experienced and seasoned female soldiers of the imperial forces. Despite all the experience he has had fighting, training alongside women, felt very...odd. He knew some of the senior officers were men that served her Majesty but aside from the few, the rest were made up of girls and women of varying ages.

Sicheng had the eye of many veterans, so getting stares were nothing new. He couldn't blame them for being curious. As he continued training, the male soldiers often pointed him out and were impressed with his form. He knew he had to blend in with everyone, in order to pass as Caiwei and get to safety.

He attracted the eye of one particular officer, the beautiful general that accompanied General Wu. General Y/L/N had seen him perform different techniques in her presence, and every single time, she appeared satisfied. She was a firm-faced beauty, and her voice was silky, carrying a sense of leadership and superiority to it. But something about the way she walked, held her head up and looked directly into others' eyes, it seemed very familiar.

On most days, it was all the same. Everyone would wake up, eat breakfast, report to their separate trainings, train, work, train and work, until dinner time and go to sleep. Then, they would repeat it all over again.

That was how life at the camp worked, but it was different during nighttime. During nighttime, is when all of the soldiers were free, or as close to free as they can be. Some of them talked about their lives and how this war would mean more for them, others talked about how they were trying to keep up appearances in the presence of others and some were complaining that they were homesick and wanting to go home.

Not Sicheng. He didn't have any of these thoughts. All he thought about was his mission and nothing more.

"Are you not homesick Caiwei?" one of the soldiers asked. "All of us are."

He shook his head. "This is what is necessary. A duty to protect what I love." He said, hoping this would satisfy her.

And it did, because the soldier smiled. "It's wonderful to hear." She tucked a lock of stray hair behind her ear and let out an affectionate sigh. "It's hard for me not being able to be with my husband," she said wistfully. "Being stuck here in this army." She gave him a rueful smile.

"Do you have a husband or fiance back home, Caiwei?" another soldier asked.

Sicheng didn't know the appropriate response, as he debated on how he could possibly talk himself out of a marriage or whatever other complicated situation that the girls were in. "N-no," he said slowly. "I was never really interested in getting married. No man has ever wanted to marry someone as tall, loud and aggressive as me." Sicheng responded, in hopes the girl would drop the subject.

"Oh please Caiwei," the first girl said, flicking her wrist and rolling her eyes. "Any man would be lucky to have a warrior like yourself as his wife."

"You sell yourself short Caiwei!" the other one chimed. "Have you ever even been in love?"

Sicheng wanted so badly to shrink into the blanket, but opted to quietly nod, recalling a childhood memory of the girl in red he met at the southern borders and briefly entertained the idea of her, before pushing those thoughts away. Now was not the time for memories and wishes.

The group of female soldiers sighed. "My, oh my, there has got to be someone out there, waiting for your arrival," one of the girls said dreamily.

"He'd be very lucky indeed, to be a man chosen by a fine warrior like you," another smiled warmly.

Sicheng averted his gaze, as the other ladies gushed about men and arranged marriages. All he could do was watch the stars above, not uttering a single word. How can he tell them that he was a man masquerading as a girl in the female military?

This would remain his secret forever, for his sister's sake.

Once all the girls have gone to their respective sleeping bags, Sicheng returned to staring at the moon. No, there was no way he could tell them he was male. No way he could tell anyone. The stakes were high and his survival meant that his sister would live to see another day. That was the only option.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps in the distance and noticed General Y/L/N that making her way towards an empty clearing with a sword in her hand. He got up from his place and followed, not making any noise or suspicious movements, while staying hidden behind the shadows of the woods.

When Sicheng watched her face-to-face, the general was practicing some techniques on her own, swinging and dodging various objects—a stick or log of wood. She held the sword and positioned her stance, careful and focused. He observed the woman swing the weapon with expert skill. He can see that she has been training for years, based on how her body was graceful, agile and every movement was as smooth as water. Her swordplay was powerful and passionate, filled with emotion and poetic. Like music that told stories.

Her swordplay reminded him of the girl in red—their resemblance was uncanny. But there's no way it's possible that the general was the very same person, right?

The young lady dressed in red, whom he first met nearly twelve years ago, at the Southern border, had always been a vivid presence. Those same eyes, full of fire and passion, and a fearlessness and hunger for what she desired. That girl still lingered in Sicheng's mind—even today.

"I know you're here, Private Dong. Don't hide. It's impolite." She continued to practice without facing him.

Sicheng held in his breath but knew the only option was to obey her orders. He came out of the shadows and placed his fist in his palm, bowing to the ground. "This recruit apologizes, General Y/L/N," Sicheng said, bringing his eyes upward. The resemblance was the same and yet somehow different. "Please accept my sincerest apologies."

The general rolled her shoulders back, her fingers dancing around the hilt of her sword. "Liutenant Qian and General Wu sings nothing but good praises regarding your skills, private."

Sicheng stood up. "This recruit is flattered by their words."

"You speak very humbly for someone who has so much raw talent, soldier. Who would have thought Official Dong's children were capable warriors as well?" Her voice was rich with praise. "Wouldn't it be nice, to prove all those that ever doubted your abilities wrong?"

She still had her back to him. He sensed some kind of opportunity presenting itself. "Your words are appreciated," he said carefully, calculating her moves.

She brought her weapon down, as she finally met Sicheng's gaze. "I see potential in you, private. Not just your skills but something beyond that."

"What would that be?" he asked.

The corner of her lips curved, reminding Sicheng of a fox's. "That's up to you. Take advantage of this training. Use it to show the world just how valuable you can be, beyond what they see. Show the world what Dong Caiwe—ah, but you aren't Dong Caiwei...are you?"

"Who are you?" he couldn't stop himself. How did she figure it out? He was certain no one else would know. He made sure not to engage in unnecessary combat, just in case there would be physical scrutiny or...something. His cover was blown.

His commander's shoulders sagged and the grip around her weapon loosened. "That's a question I haven't heard in a long time." She almost looked melancholic. "Perhaps one day, we might find the answer, and when we do, it'll be you and me against the world."

"Why?" he demanded.

She turned back to him again. "Because the first time, we crossed paths, the winds shifted into place."

"I-I'm sorry?" He raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I understand."

A chuckle escaped her lips. "It has been a long time," she smiled as if reminiscing a sweet moment of her past. "Like I said," she twirled her sword, face serious and posture perfect. "Take advantage of this opportunity, before it passes you. I won't tell anyone about who you are, so long as you prove yourself in this war, Dong Sicheng."

"If anyone finds out my identity—" he started but cut himself off when a laugh came from her lips, something harsh.

"Oh I know about the punishments if your identity was ever found out, believe me," she shook her head. "But I won't turn down a valuable asset like you."

He remained still as the general went over to a pile of large rocks and logs of wood, a huge mound that was large enough for a human to hide beneath. It reminded him of a training dummy. "What do you know about me?" Sicheng said.

The commander brought her weapon up, sword striking at the dummy with precision. Sicheng watched with fascination. "A great deal." She responded. "Your father is a minor official stationed in Wenzhou and your family runs a silk business as well. Your sister Caiwei, is betrothed to Zhong Chenle, a tea merchant who has come into money. You served at the Southern Borders under General Xie under the former Emperor's reign, when men were allowed to serve. Once her Majesty, the Empress, assumed the throne and the females took over, she had the men removed. You had a normal chance at life and yet..." The commander made a slicing sound with the sword. "Here you are."

His lips parted in surprise. She had learned everything in such a short time? The other officers didn't make mention of anything but the commander knew everything about him. It was like she knew exactly who he was.

"Why should I trust you?" Sicheng challenged.

"Because, Dong Sicheng," she faced him, meeting his gaze. "Your life is in my hands."

You were right. Dong Caiwei was Dong Sicheng, the very same young man you met, twelve years prior. At first, you weren't sure. It'd been many years since you've seen Sicheng, since you were last at the Southern Border, training and studying war tactics and arts under General Xie. You were fighting at the Southern Borders alongside other soldiers, both male and females, as you defended the border against attacks.

From the beginning, General Xie treated you no differently than a common soldier, no matter your status or royal birth. He said if you are going to be a General leading a battalion, he won't show you any special treatment, the same way no soldier will receive such benefits for their roles. So, you were subjected to the same diets, routines, trainings as male soldiers, which in itself was a chore to adapt to. However, that same discipline gave you the skillset to train new women soldiers and ensure they had proper combat training and enough abilities to take down a man in battle, whether with a weapon or without.

During your time there, you noticed one boy around your age, that stood out more than anyone. Dong Sicheng, the kind of boy with bright eyes and beautiful lips, the young man who could be very determined when he put his heart and mind into doing anything.

He was beautiful, like a piece of art carved in stone. Whenever you got the chance, your eyes were glued to him, from the way he stood proud and tall to the way his laugh rang as clear as spring. From afar, you were merely content just seeing his soft, cheerful smile.

Yet, you knew better than to be distracted, for your duties came first.

Unfortunately, your stay there was short, and you were whisked away once you received an emergency summons back to the capitol, where the Emperor had fell sick suddenly. You were needed immediately and that, despite your reluctance, took precedent above everything else.

Just before you departed, however, you'd caught him outside, near a pavilion where flowers would bloom in the spring. You could never forget those eyes that belonged to him.

He was the first thing that flashed through your mind the moment you'd laid your eyes on Sicheng. In that instant you recognized him from twelve years ago—the boy was all grown up, more broad-shouldered and more confident. But he remained a beautiful painting, one that would capture everyone's attention in the room and remain at the front of a gallery. He had always been the shining, pure light among others. And somehow, even though the time in between has gone and he became a soldier, that beauty only enhanced his features, sculpted into the very man you've found yourself face-to-face with again.

You had the urge to seek him out, to converse with him and feel like a girl again. But it's difficult. This is a place of war, and you must set aside all other matters in order to survive.

"Are you not hungry?" General Wu said to you, a brow raised. It appears you weren't listening. "We've finished preparations. The final drafts of the strategy will go underway the moment General Huang arrives. If he doesn't, I fear the worst." He turned to gaze at you, a solemn look on his face.

You remembered your father's old friend Huang Lingyun—he had retired from the Imperial Court some time ago, and moved to the coast. His son, Huang Renjun, would now act as the new General of the East. It wasn't uncommon to retire after the new Empress's coming of age, in order to enjoy life to its fullest. This left the ranks for younger, more promising candidates.

"I'm sorry," You offered a weary smile, grabbing a bun and eating it with no fuss. "It has been quite tiring lately, has it not?"

"Mhm. But we cannot falter and we must give our all," General Wu finished the last bit of his wine, patting his stomach in satisfaction. "It's amazing how fate always seems to find a way of working out itself."

You paused your eating. "How so?"

"Well, you and I." Wu smiled fondly, looking deep into the embers of the fire in the distance. "I remember your father speaking proudly of you, a young child that wanted nothing more than to follow his footsteps. A true leader. When his illness kept him bedridden and he passed, you had taken upon the responsibility of following his dreams, never allowing your status as a woman stop you. How could the stars have known, that years later, we would cross paths in a completely different scenario, no less together in war?"

Your cheeks felt hot, a warmth pooled in your stomach. Your memories were vivid and clear. All of those nights you had cried and wished someone would make your father's health better. To keep him alive longer. That's what you'd always prayed for. But in the end, it wasn't meant to be.

You smiled back at him. "You were always like a second father to me, General Wu. Always there during those times I lost father."

He nodded, resting a hand on your shoulder and squeezing it affectionately. "And like your father, I'll ensure your reign as empress will continue as is destined. Your father would have been so proud of you, your accomplishments, your triumphs and tribulations. To have created such a dynasty in your honor, and that you lived to tell the tale of your people."

His words rang true, bringing a familiar ache in your chest. Your father never missed an opportunity to tell you just how proud he was, for everything you did and will achieve. Even in his deathbed, he wasn't bitter nor upset about having lost the empire. He was happy. Happy to pass a dynasty along to you.

General Wu had no children of his own, but perhaps by not being a blood relation or a relative in the traditional sense, it didn't stop the bond formed in the early years when you had to learn the ins and outs of combat, and train extensively for it. Back then, he was an unspoken father figure, the closest thing you've had to your real one. He taught and disciplined you and watched over you. Even now, as General, he was like an honorary uncle, although you were the general superior in the situation.

There was another reason the old man became close to you and that was because General Wu and your father were as thick as thieves, childhood friends who ran through the gardens together in their youth. He'd seen you as his own niece, a daughter of his heart. After losing your real one, General Wu was the only family member you'd come to trust after the new regime was formed.

"My apologies," he shook his head and released you.

You took a sip of wine. "No need for apologies, General."

"Now," he rubbed the side of his chin. "Who's to say what will happen in a few days?"

"We only have one goal, and one objective—defend our country from the threats and potential dangers to the north." You looked at the night sky and gazed upon the starry sky, your mind drifting to thoughts of the one soldier whose presence lingered in the back of your mind. You tried desperately to shut those thoughts out.

The journey was a long and dangerous one. At the very least, Sicheng hoped and prayed to get through in one piece. There were no promises that anyone else was alive out in the desolate wilderness, other than himself and his comrades.

Soon, the road opened and the skies began clearing. He caught glimpse of his group—other women clad in uniform and weapons strapped onto their persons. Some rode on horseback and other on foot. A noticed a few men that used to serve the former Emperor's court, as they remained within their ranks, no questions asked. The war was imminent and was going on, which meant that it was essential they unite all of their forces together as one unit.

From the horizon, Sicheng noticed more and more of their fellow forces. Each woman, young, old, some male and all united for one goal.

He scanned through the faces—some looked stoic, while others' determination burned strong. All of the soldiers wore the standard imperial attire with armor and a symbol of their nation. As the armies joined and they marched towards the Northern frontiers, the sound of drums rang out and trumpets were being blown.

Before their eyes, the marching, well-organized troops kept a quick, steady pace towards the main army. They moved almost rhythmically, in perfect synchrony.

Finally, the view of the troops came into full view—you were in the lead, atop the head of a magnificent chestnut mare. You'd donned your battle armor, holding onto the reigns of your horse while gazing ahead with an indifferent stare. In your hand, was a great weapon—a shining blade that was said to be crafted from the heavens above—and behind you were hundreds, perhaps thousands, of skilled, powerful fighters ready for action.

So you were the Empress that had united all of these troops and citizens. That much, he was aware. What he couldn't have anticipated was how young you are. You could've been around his age, yet, there was a quality to you that he could not put his finger on. Maybe it was how determined your eyes looked, with the weight of an entire empire on your shoulders.

Everyone was present and accounted for. Each division, every regiment had joined the fight. When the Emperor died and your father named you his successor, the surrounding territories and regions thought you to be nothing but a little girl who grew up protected from the world. Those rumors died down when you captured and secured several border provinces as an example, and subdued various insurrections. But now the men are able to see a fierce, commanding sovereign that led them into battle.

Sicheng could hear the whispers from the troops. The atmosphere seemed almost intimidating. But the looks of everyone seemed excited, happy, filled with drive and eager to engage. There were also a handful that were wary of your presence but respected your choice to fight as they have.

"I applaud you all for being here," the Empress spoke, addressing the soldiers and all those that would be in the field. The fires roared in the distance, highlighting the troops and all that had assembled. Your gaze lingered to every single one that would fight beside you. "Many have said that war would lead to a dark and unjust world, but that is why we stand here. No, we do not fight to cause injustice, we fight to maintain peace and tranquility in the land. You may have been asked to come here with uncertainty, and for that I commend each of you and all your contributions. Regardless of who or what you are, man or woman, citizen or noble, we all stand on the same ground, willing to protect our families and nation. Willing to risk it all, to see a tomorrow. May the Heavens bless us all and bring us victory!"

Your cry was joined by everyone else in your command—they answered your cry with their own enthusiasm. Everyone raised their fists and weapons, yelling their loudest. Sicheng couldn't deny that even he felt this surge of energy. For the Empress. For his fellow soldiers, men or women. For his family. This was for all the loved ones and ancestors that paved the way and brought them here.

Everyone that was under your banner raised their swords and banners high. The officers and generals echoed your call and shout, before turning to each soldier of their brigade.

"Men! Forward march!"

"Charge!!!"

"Give all you've got, no retreat! Charge!"

Everyone was ready and marching forward, with General Huang leading his part in defending the northern front. War wasn't something new for Sicheng, so he felt no sense of fear—however, he couldn't say that about everyone. He turned to a fellow private and could see her face visibly shaking.

"Hey," he said, gripping her shoulder. "Keep your head on. Breathe. All will be well."

She forced herself to smile. "O-okay."

Sicheng pulled himself away from his private and led his band to go to the north. All of them looked resolute in their place.

He's fighting a war and doesn't have the privilege to think about other matters at hand—however, something won't leave his mind and it was his encounter with the General and the Empress that looked exactly like the girl in red from his memories. Could it be? Was she and the Empress one and the same? It's something he could think about.

But for now, Sicheng will focus on defending his country.

"Private Dong! Get a move on!" a Lieutenant yelled at him.

"Yes m'am!" Sicheng replied quickly, getting into formation and walking into the unknown.

"This is it!" another comrade said. "Once we charge the enemy, it'll all be a matter of time."

"Just keep breathing, no matter what, we stick together, alright?" Sicheng instructed. "We'll protect our homeland until the last of us."

"Forward march!" General Wu, along with the other generals and lieutenants, kept a tight hold on the reins of the troops.

As the sun rises high, and the enemy standing on the opposite side, the leaders raised their weapons into the sky. The next battle was going to decide everything, afterall.

"Advance!" The war horns blasted across the valley. And in that very moment, the generals charged straight into the first wave of enemies, leaving only screams of dying men in their wake.

As expected, the battles between both sides were intense. It was an all out bloody fight for glory and the right to take control of the territory. Every blow and attack from your battalion was precise and ruthless, attacking from the flank to cause panic and mayhem.

Like every battle before, this one was no exception. Blood was drawn and life was taken from your hands. Swords clashed, bones were shattered, bodies crushed by shields, feet running over corpses and armor stained crimson red, mixing with mud and grime. Men with bloodlust attacked blindly, aiming to kill everything and anything.

This was war.

Everything around you was chaos, blood, dirt, screams and despair. Still you kept fighting on, to survive, to conquer, and to endure.

After weeks, months on the battlefield, you and the soldiers finally crossed the Imperial City's gate to a hero's welcome. Women wept in tears and cheers filled the crowd as they celebrated. Citizens were bringing flowers and foods, and families rejoiced as the injured troops arrived home, even some would run outside and catch their loved ones, embracing tightly and relishing the presence they once lost.

With pride, you watched as soldiers broke off from the main battalion to be with their families, who were ecstatic at seeing their loved ones return from war. One woman screamed happily, waving frantically at someone. She dropped all her belongings and ran towards one person in particular, as they stumbled in the dirt and laughed when they crashed against each other.

Who would be waiting for you back at the palace? What was there to welcome you at the very moment? The Empress Dowager? You knew she wouldn't since she wasn't your birth mother and only became Empress after your own mother passed away in childbirth. Your sisters? No, they were never there and seemed to enjoy living an extravagant and expensive lifestyle, relishing the rewards for doing absolutely nothing.

Oh, who cares? All that mattered was that you were finally home, that's all that ever mattered.

"Your Imperial Majesty," General Wu spoke up from behind you as you made your way into the city. His voice sounded raspy from exhaustion. "A job well done. Your father and mother would be proud."

You clenched your fist tightly, pressing the reigns of the horse as it rode forth. The generals, officers and troops followed your trail. "Thank you, General."

He rode at your side, a little ways before glancing up and noting how you looked far off into the distance, more so in thought. "It's a bit disappointing that the rest of the imperial family did not receive us," General Wu said with disappointment.

"I'm not at all surprised," you chuckled humorlessly. "The Empress Dowager and my sisters and their consorts couldn't care less and it's clear how they feel about the me."

"Your Majesty," he urged with worry in his tone. "Don't say such things—"

"What use is it anyway? Why should they bother coming to see me if they hate my existence to begin with?" You questioned, bitterness lacing in your tone.

A sigh left his lips, the exhaustion now catching up. He scratched the back of his head, noticing the gathering of the crowds of people who have all turned their attention to you as your presence was near the Imperial Palace.

"Even so, they're the only kin you've left in the world..." General Wu admitted with a hint of sympathy.

"You're more like family than they'll ever be," you smiled softly. He nodded and left it at that, knowing it would be fruitless to persuade you any more.

The night you returned back to the palace, a feast and banquet was thrown to honor your service and triumph of returning victorious. Most of the men, women and girls who had served were celebrated and thanked personally by you and some others. After the banquet, the celebration lasted a couple more weeks as they handed out provisions, gold, money to families who'd lost someone and many things in the war.

Today, you stood alone at your balcony, the winds dancing across your hair and skin as the moon's glow radiated off the sky. Stars scattered above, sparkling like tiny gems, a myriad of beauty. It was something that kept you preoccupied, rather than thinking about anything else.

Some people saw the sky and just accepted what was there, but sometimes there were nights like this. These clear nights when the stars would just shine brilliantly in the sky, uninhibited, unobscured. Yet the glow of the moon had taken center stage.

It's how things tended to work in life.

Some days were beautiful, like the gentle kisses on the neck at a moment's notice. Or those rare nights when everything aligned perfectly, making the perfect moment in time. But other days were full of storms and thunder. Everything's dark, clouded by uncertainty and misconception.

The thoughts wouldn't stop. Thoughts of everything—what happened, why did it happen? Where was this all heading? Your grip on the ledge became tighter, eyes scrunching up, heart pounding heavily in your chest. You needed something, but you were unsure of what that was. Perhaps, a certain person that crossed paths once again...

What were the chances that both of you would meet again, like this? A man in battle, and a woman, both soldiers destined to meet on the frontlines.

You had the ability to track him down. Maybe ask around or something. Would it be strange, for an Empress like you to seek out a lowly private like him? It would certainly raise some eyebrows and give birth to rumors. But you wanted to, for so many years now, you wished to see his bright smile and gorgeous eyes again, and talk.

It seemed impossible to attain what you wished. This position was not suited to allow much freedom for what you wanted, or who you wanted.

For the briefest of seconds, you closed your eyes, wondering and trying to imagine what Sicheng would look like. How different did he appear now, twelve years after your fated meeting. Did he become a better warrior, or perhaps a farmer, a blacksmith, a carpenter, a doctor or even a scholar? Who was he now? Would he have a family by now? Children maybe?

The thought made you furrow your eyebrows. Your nails dug into your flesh. Why does that bother you so much?

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of someone approaching you. "Your Majesty," it's Eunuch Yu. "It's late. Everyone has gone to sleep already. You shouldn't remain up so long either."

"Thank you, Yu," you smiled.

"Can I assist you with anything else, your Imperial Majesty?" Yu bowed his head.

"Actually," you faced him fully. "Summon General Wu. I need him to find someone for me."

Sicheng entered the market with his horse by his side, along with a basket filled with all sorts of vegetables. With the winnings he collected, he planned to pay a visit to his grandmother's grave with fruits and vegetables to give thanks to his family.

It's been several months since the great battle and everyone was returning to a normal and quiet life. No wars, no violence. That meant Sicheng would get to focus on his family's silk business, while his father focused on his duties as an official.

When the war ended and Sicheng revealed that he was a man disguised as a female soldier, all his comrades were astonished and shocked beyond belief. All this time they thought him to be a beautiful young woman! And to top it off, he was also a brilliant soldier that played a crucial role in securing the war.

Many of the other soldiers made lighthearted remarks and teased him, wondering how a man so attractive as Sicheng could possibly conceal himself as a woman and play the part well. Some even asked if he was looking for a wife, that their sisters or daughters would have no issues if it was him.

From that point onwards, everyone knew him as a true man.

No, a great warrior who earned the respect of his fellow comrades and men and women alike.

So here he was. A civilian. A man. A soldier. A vendor.

Every day is a different experience, a new set of emotions and challenges. Sometimes, it felt empty not fighting or training anymore. There was no adrenaline rush of swinging a sword, slashing or holding his bow and arrow. Nor was it the pride and sense of accomplishment in defeating an enemy or winning a spar with a fellow soldier. But he still found ways to push and persevere.

Even now, he's content just living quietly and helping his village survive and grow, without needing the sword at his hip or arrows strapped onto his back.

Sicheng crossed paths with many farmers, a few vendors, peddlers and customers looking for food or tools. Their conversations were the background noise while he continued looking and checking out each booth, admiring the wares and his ears perking up at each bit of gossip and idle chatter.

One conversation caught his attention.

"Did you hear, about the Empress? Well she's still unmarried..."

"Is she not afraid of age catching up to her, sooner or later? Soon, her ability to bare heirs will fade and the nation will fall into ruins."

"But the empire has other—"

"None of the other princesses and their consorts want the position. Who knows when another war might come? You think they would step up to defend the nation?"

"Heavens, let it never come. But now that the last batch has gone through, and none have passed her Imperial Highness's test, I wonder if her highness might go searching elsewhere."

Sicheng raised a brow, continuing along the path while hearing bits and pieces. Then his mind went back to the battlefield where he met you, and how powerful you were in command. If they truly had the capability to oppose you, it would've happened already. Besides, your authority wasn't only an empty title. Anyone who thought of an opportunity to play political games would know just how terrible your wrath would become.

At the very least, being alone has its own charm and beauty. You could grow at your own pace, becoming whoever and whatever you wished, without relying on anyone or needing anyone. You are the most powerful woman in all of China, and should there be any opposition, you could handle it with ease.

But the pressure to marry, especially one as powerful as you? The thought gave Sicheng chills and made him more thankful for not being you, of being a mere farmer instead. The burden is just too much for one person alone.

The noise picked up, along with the crowd, making Sicheng pause and focus his vision. There's no mistaking what was approaching. The imperial guards surrounded an older man, a eunuch no doubt, walking beside a sedan, with all its ornate decorations and beautiful craftsmanship.

Everyone around Sicheng stopped to lower their heads, bending over with respect and offering a reverence, all for the one and only empress and ruler of all of China even if you weren't present.

"Is there a Dong Sicheng in the crowd?" the older man called out, eyes scanning across the hordes.

"I'm him," Sicheng replied. He could not escape an imperial eunuch after all. His family relied on him to ensure no harm ever came, despite their social ranking. Sicheng lowered himself in an elaborate bow, and waited as the eunuch examined him.

The eunuch unrolled the scroll to read from the paper. "Private Dong Sicheng has served during the northern campaign, received the General's honors for outstanding bravery and distinction in battle. The empress hereby confers on him the honorable position of Royal Guard of the Right, along with a salary, housing and a substantial bonus to be distributed among his family. Do you accept this decree?"

He had to accept under imperial order, it was written plainly enough for him to comprehend. And really, it didn't surprise him. Many of his comrades, and those from the opposing army, were all given these opportunities.

"I, Dong Sicheng, accept the royal appointment from the throne," he spoke aloud.

"Good. You will enter the palace in a months time."

The eunuch rolled the parchment up, placed it in Sicheng's hand and moved on. People continued with their lives, and his gaze dropped to the imperial gift given to him. It should be enough for his family to prosper and have a decent life. But still, an invitation from the empress. She might remember him, and in return, he still has those memories he holds dearly.

It seems that fate might be fickle at times, but regardless, he's going to treasure and embrace what awaited.

The beginning of his new journey awaits.

And then comes a long weekend in the summer, during which you and WinWin decide to go drive down the coast.

“God, I love a good, long car ride,” WinWin said when you brought up the idea to him. “Windows down, wind blowing through my hair, enjoying the sunshine and ending up someplace new and exciting.” 

You immediately think of your family dog from childhood, the way he’d always been so excited to get in the car, always stuck his head out the window with his ears flapping in the wind, how he’d always been so excited when you reached the destination and there were new things to smell and new people to meet. 

“So is that a yes?” You ask.

WinWin nods. “Yeah. It’ll be nice to take a weekend away. We’ve not gone away together yet.” 

“Exactly. And we can make it so romantic.” You reach for his hand, which makes WinWin smile softly at you, looking at you with pure adoration in his eye. “We can get a hotel room beside the beach, have a picnic, and I’ve always wanted to just lay out on the beach at night and stargaze.”

“Sounds romantic.” WinWin kisses you. “I can’t wait.”

When Friday comes around, WinWin comes by your place in the morning to get an early start, and you drive, leaving the city by mid-morning. Windows down, wind blowing, sun shining, and WinWin plays music and sings to you when your favorite songs come on.  

You stop at a small beach town for lunch, pulling into a parking lot fenced in by trees that shade your car. 

You take a walk around the small town, enjoying the warm sunshine and the cool breeze, peering into cute shops and small restaurants, unsure where you want to eat for lunch. 

“Cute picnic lunch?” WinWin suggests after he spots a grocery store. “Didn’t you say you wanted to have a romantic picnic? Why don’t we go in, buy some stuff, and find a nice picnic spot?”

So you do exactly that. 

You have limited options for picnic fare while you’re in a grocery store. You buy fancy cheese, a container of berries, some deli meats sliced thin, making your own little charcuterie spread. At the recommendation of the older woman working the cash register, you and WinWin pack back into your car and drive a bit further down the coast to a nice view.

There’s no other cars around, which is fine as you back into a parking spot at the edge of the parking lot. WinWin hops out and pops open the back hatch of your car, and that’s where you set up the picnic, sitting in the spacious back of your car, the hatch propped up, the sweet breeze reaching up to you from the sea.

It’s nice and sweet, sitting there together like this, eating and chatting, enjoying the view. And occasionally, WinWin picks up a berry and feeds it to you.

And there’s definitely something romantic about WinWin feeding a perfectly red strawberry to you. Something tantalizing about his fingertips brushing your lips. Something utterly distracting about his gaze fixed on your lips.

It gets your heart pumping when WinWin leans over your picnic assortment to kiss you. He’s kissed you a thousand times, but your heart still races with each kiss. 

The burst of berry sweetness is still there on your tongue, and WinWin moans softly at the taste. You press closer to him, draping your arm over his shoulders, forgetting the food as you draw yourself into his lap, as you kiss him harder, more intensely, more hungrily. 

His hands are on your hips, holding you in his lap, pressing you forward as you make these little wanton moans and rock your hips.

WinWin nips at your bottom lip, pulling back only long enough to say, “Should we put a pause on this until we reach the hotel?” And then his mouth is back on yours, muffling your denial. 

You want to keep going. There’s no one around, and maybe that’s why the woman at the store had recommended this spot for a romantic picnic. You grasp at WinWin’s shoulders, sighing his name as he slides his hand down your back until his fingers slip beneath the cute sundress you’re wearing to grab your bottom.

“Right here.” You press the words to WinWin’s lips between kisses. “I want to have sex right here. Right now.”

Your wish is WinWin’s command, ever the obedient boyfriend. 

You hear the food get knocked away as WinWin slides one arm around, and you know you’re going to have to pick berries out from under the car seats later, but right now you don’t care. WinWin rolls you under him onto your back. He stands just at the bumper, pushing your dress up above your belly while he keeps kissing you. His hands wander your thighs and belly without looking, and you buck your hips, searching for any contact where you need him most.

WinWin pulls away from kissing you, rising up until his head is brushing the ceiling of the car. “You’re so beautiful,” he declares, running his hand up your side and pushing your dress up even higher, over your tits. “I could look at you like this forever.”

“I hope you do.” You reach up, lacing your fingers with his. “But right now I need you to do more than just look. I need you to touch.” You bring your entwined hands down between your legs, laying his fingers right over your pussy where you want him. 

WinWin pulls his hand away, but only so he can wrap his hands around your ankles. He pulls the shoe off of one foot, tossing it behind you into the car, and then he does the same to the other. He pushes your ankles up, knees to your chest and ankles in the air. And then his hand is back, tugging the fabric of your panties to the side, and he slides his fingers inside you, his thumb to your clit.

WinWin fingers you until he has your legs trembling, your mouth opening to let out a series of whines and whimpers. You push one of your feet against his chest, pressing him back, and you finally manage to gasp out, “Wait, wait, I don’t want to cum yet. Want you to cum with me.”

He curls the fingers of his free hand around your ankle. “Cum once for me now, cum again with me later.” WinWin strokes his fingers inside you, swirling his thumb against your clit, pressing you just right. “Come on, cum for me, baby.”

You fall apart around his fingers, trembling, pushing your foot harder against WinWin’s chest. 

When WinWin pulls his fingers away from your center, you slowly let your foot drop, tracing it down from where you had it resting over his heart, down over his stomach, his abdomen, down to the front of his pants where you draw your toes around the bulging evidence of his erection. 

He holds tight to your ankle. 

Pretty early on in this relationship you learned that WinWin was into this. He loved your feet – licking, sucking, nibbling on your toes. Your feet just did something extra special to him. So times, like right now, when you really, really wanted to make him desperate, all you had to do was get your foot in his lap, trace the tip with your toes, caress the shaft with the arch of your foot.

He moans as you do exactly that right now, brushing your foot along the defined shape of his cock against the front of his pants. You trace your big toe down along the zipper, then slide the sole of your foot back up his length. WinWin’s eyes flutter as you circle your toes again at the bulging tip.

“Stop,” he growls, suddenly jerking your ankle up into the air again. “Are you trying to make me cum in my pants?”

You laugh. “Why? Would that work?”

WinWin curls his fingers around both of your ankles, holding your legs wide apart, ankles up in the air. 

Once again, you’re grateful that this little viewpoint isn’t a popular one. You’re not so sure that an audience would enjoy the show that you and WinWin are putting on. 

“It probably would work, if I’m being honest.” WinWin drops his hand from one of your ankles. “But I thought you wanted us to cum together?”

Your freed foot comes to rest against his chest. WinWin glances at it before looking back up at your face with one of his eyebrows raised. “I just like to see my feet drive you wild.”

You hear the sound of his zipper dropping, but you don’t look away from your boyfriend’s face. You can tell his hand is moving down between his legs, but both of you hold each other’s gaze, never looking away until the moment that WinWin sinks forward, dipping his tip inside your pussy. It’s then that he breaks your gaze, his attention dropping to where he can watch his cock be swallowed up by your pretty pussy. 

He drops his hand from your other ankle, reaching for your hip as he drags your ass to the edge of the car, pulling you onto his cock. 

You keen his name, the sound carried away in the wind as WinWin starts moving, leaning into the foot that you have pressed to his chest. 

Your other ankle you hook around his lower back, using it to pull him in deeper, not that he lets it keep him there. WinWin moves freely, thrusting into you at a good pace, hard enough to make the whole car rock. His hips clap against your ass, your whole body moving from the force of each of his thrusts – tits bouncing, hands flying up above your head to try to steady yourself. 

WinWin touches your calf, gliding his fingers along the muscle up to your ankle, the foot pressed to his chest. 

You watch through half-lidded eyes as WinWin pulls your foot up to his face. He inhales, his nose tracing the curve of your sole, his lips leaving light kisses from heel to toe. And when he reaches your toes….

“WinWin!” You moan, unable to help it as he sucks your big toe into his mouth. 

Before him, this wasn’t something you’d experienced much of. No one you’d been with before was ever really into feet except maybe a little game of footsie or the tactic of sliding your foot into his lap to tease him a bit. But no one liked your feet as much as WinWin; you’d certainly had an eye-opening experience the first time he asked if he could suck on your toes, and in the time since then, you’d grown to truly enjoy it.

WinWin rocks his hips forward, burying his cock in you again and again as he sucks on your big toe. You slide a hand down to your clit, lift your other hand up to pull down the cup of your bra, to touch your boobs while WinWin watches. He pulls his mouth away from your toes, kissing along the side of your foot, to your ankle, then back again.

Your pussy is throbbing by this point, tingling as you push your fingers in erratic shapes over your clit. WinWin’s doing everything right for you right now, pressing his hips close and just humping his cock into you, worshipping your foot, moaning as he watches you touching yourself.

“I’m gonna cum,” you announce, dragging your hand away from your chest to slide it against WinWin’s hip. You sink your fingernails into his skin, loving the way that he hisses and jolts into you. His eyes flutter shut when you trail your nails across his abdomen, up his toned stomach, dragging your fingernails over his skin enough to leave marks. “WinWin, cum with me.”

He presses his lips to the arch of your foot, his nose against your toes, and he lets go. 

WinWin thrusts into you a few times rapidly, and then he’s cumming, pushing in slow to savor the tight pulsing of your warmth around him as your orgasm quickly follows his. He fucks you both through your orgasms, sinking in fully as he eases your ankle away from his face and down to the side. 

WinWin lays over you, his chest pressed to yours, and he kisses you deeply, your breaths mingling, and soft whimpers leaving your lips as he continues to shift his hips forward, rocking into you to push you into a weak orgasm, like the aftershocks of an earthquake.

You wrap your arms around him, holding him there for several moments.

After a bit, when you finally feel coherent enough to speak again, you say, “And to think, we’ve already had sex once, and we’re not even to the hotel yet. Our romantic weekend hasn’t even really started yet.” You brush your fingers through his hair, but WinWin reaches up, tangling his fingers with yours and pulling your hand back down to rest beside your head. “WinWin, I’m thinking to continue this romantic vibe right now, what do you say that we eat dinner on the beach by the hotel tonight? Get something to go from the hotel’s nice restaurant, picnic blanket on the sand, a little candlelit or lantern-lit dinner under the full moon tomorrow night?”

“Wait, what? It’s the full moon this weekend?” WinWin jolts upright, untangling his fingers from yours. 

“Yes.” What’s his problem?

WinWin pulls away from you, walking away from the car before spinning around and turning back towards you. “Shit, I knew there was something I was forgetting. I was just so caught up with the idea of coming here with you. You seemed so excited, and that made me excited too, so I completely forgot!”

“Forgot what?” You sit up too, pulling your dress back down. “WinWin, what are you talking about?”

He sighs, sinking back down onto the bumper. “There’s something I need to tell you, but promise me you won’t freak out?”

The simple existence of that phrase makes you want to freak out. What is he about to tell you? That he’s married and he’s forgotten it’s his and his wife’s anniversary? That he’s got a kid, and it’s their birthday? That he has to attend some satanic ritual and offer you up as a blood sacrifice to the full moon? You hate that you’ve gone so quickly from the bliss of moments ago to this mild panic raging through you now.

WinWin drops his face into his hands and groans.

“Sicheng, just tell me. You’re scaring me.” You put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing soothingly down his back. “What is it?”

“I didn’t want to tell you,” he chokes out into his palms. “I thought I wouldn’t have to, that I would be cured before I’d have to tell you.”

You freeze. Your heart stops. What is he saying? “Are you dying?”

“No!” He sits up, and looks at you for the first time in several minutes. “Baby, no, I’m not dying. I – I’m a werewolf. And I know that sounds like some bullshit story, but I swear to you, I’m a werewolf, and if I’d realized this weekend was the full moon, I never would have come along on this trip. I would never risk putting you in danger. Shit!” 

WinWin jumps to his feet again, pacing away from the car while he rakes his fingers through his hair. 

A werewolf?

He’s got to be lying, right?

But then your brain begins connecting the dots. All of his dog-like qualities you’ve noticed and joked about with your friends. His thing for feet, which is similar to your childhood dog’s love for licking and sniffing the feet of anyone he met. How rare he likes his meat when you go out to dinner together. How last month and the month before WinWin had been MIA for the nights surrounding the full moon. 

“You’re not joking, are you?” You ask, standing up to walk towards him. 

He’s still facing away from you, hands in his hair.

“WinWin.” He doesn’t look at you. “Dong Sicheng, look at me!” 

It takes you fisting your hand in the back of his shirt and tugging to get him to turn around and look at you. 

“Are you really a werewolf?” You can hardly believe those words are coming out of your mouth. “I don’t care if you are, but are you really? How?”

WinWin sighs. “It’s a long story, but I got bit a few months before I met you. I’ve been mostly living a normal life, except the night of, the night before, and the night after the full moon. Those nights are… pretty rough. I’ve met some others affected by the bite, and some of them swear there’s a cure out there, that researchers are working on making one available to the masses of affected people. I was really, really hoping I’d be able to hide this from you until then. I’m such a goddamn fool! I’m putting you at risk being here.”

“Well,” you say quietly, “what do you normally do for the full moon? Do you go somewhere?” You wrap your arms around him, lay your head on his chest. His heart is racing beneath your ear.

“I just lock myself in my apartment. I haven’t hurt anyone yet. I just transform, but I’m always scared I’m going to break out, that I’ll hurt someone.” He hugs you tightly. “Some of the others I’ve met say that stuff like that happened to them. I’m just scared.”

“Maybe you can lock yourself in the bathroom of our hotel room?” You suggest. “I can barricade you in?”

WinWin laughs a little. “Maybe.”

“Listen.” You lift your head from his chest to look into his eyes. “Dong Sicheng, I love you. And I know you love me too. I don’t think you’re going to hurt me. You sound too determined to not hurt me. And if we’re safe, if we take precautions by locking you in the bathroom, barricading the door between me and you, I think we’ll be fine. I want to give it a try.”

He sighs, and you can see in his eyes that he’s warring with himself, debating whether he should follow your wishes, or if he should tell you that he’d like to head back home so he can lock himself safely away in his own apartment. But in the end, he decides to go with what you want. 

You both spend twenty minutes cleaning berries and cheese out from beneath your seats, and then you climb into the front seat and drive away. 

“Tell me what it’s like,” you ask, reaching over for WinWin’s hand once you’re on the road again. “Tell me how it happened. Tell me everything, and don’t feel like you need to hide any of it from me. I love you, and I’ll love you no matter what.”

When you look over at him, WinWin is looking straight ahead out the windshield, but you can tell by the way that he’s gripping your hand, the way that he lets out a shaky sigh of relief, he’s so grateful that you’re still treating him like the man you’re in love with rather than just a monster.

a/n: I think I'm so funny with the little dog jokes in there lol, but anyway here was this one! Day 7 down, only 24 more to go! This is another one where I think a part 2 might eventually happen, but I'm not making any promises about that.