#shretymology

the sharks acquire cody ceci over the off season. here is two things: cody ceci is not very good at hockey and cody cecis breasts are fantabulous. van puckpocketed described them as his normal naturals. there is an anonymous user on gooses sharkuda prompt meme out there that wants cody ceci breastfeeding.

also his suits sit on him in a manner of some sorts. (breastfully.)

and here is the thing. we are were so insane about his breasts that sharks lb collectively agreed not to mention that hes um. not good. at hockey. hes a very beautiful man.

is it cody ceci forcefemming? IDK. ive seen people pitching thoughts of slipping him oestrogen and putting him in skirts. and also he was miley cyrus from music video "wrecking ball" for halloween one time (skirt) and if i look to long at it something scary happens inside of me

& so john klingberg breaches the scene. also not very good at hockey. he proceeds to get raked over the COALS. for being not very good at hockey

san jose sharks used to have william eklund, fabian zetterlund, and mikael granlund and theyre all prettyyyy good! william eklund as the future face of the franchise and then ummm. fabian zetterlund as in the box of spare parts we got from the timo meier trade that flew under the goated radar and mikael granlund as the millstone around the pens neck that squared up exceedingly solidly as a sharks vet.

you may notice that william eklund is the only one still a shark. dont worry yet ^_^

at this time the san jose sharks roster is barely holding on. exploding from injuries, just generally NOT VERY GOOD, we still manage to scratch kevin labanc for half a season.

mostly funny is that we have a bunch of forwards with a -lund surname on our team. we dreamt of a lund^3 line.

then. THEN!!! we get william eklund and fabian zetterlund together on a line! our lund^2! sharks broadcaster tara slone calls them the swedehearts ^_^

actually just peep the shrimer on their shriendship.

we do get the lund^3 line BTW. our top line who plays great very serious hockey. fabian zetterlund says mikael granlund is like a dad to him and william eklund and mikael granlund says fabian zetterlund is a fugly hag.

WE SEND FABIAN ZETTERLUND TO OTTAWA BTW. william eklunds name goes trending on twitter after that

and like a week later its casually mentioned that fabian zetterlund and william eklund found out together. at a sauna. together. from another friend of theirs rasmus sandin calling fabian zetterlund. and they think its jokes and japes!!!! NO ONE HAD THIS ON THEIR BINGO CARD!!!

is it worth mentioning that after the trade everyone very politely understood that william eklund is the main character of this.

heres the emotional rodeo we collectively get sent on:

As far as William Eklund is concerned, the San Jose Sharks traded a literal family member in Fabian Zetterlund away. “He’s family for me, his family is my family. We hang out. We have Christmas together,” Eklund said on Monday, after declining to speak on Saturday about the Trade Deadline deal of his best friend to the Ottawa Senators. “That’s one of the toughest days of my life.” -- "eklund on what zetterlund meant to him, being tired of losing"

"I know William's gonna get right. Right now, it's just a lot of emotions right after when it happens," Wennberg said. "The same thing with Fabian. I called him last night, and it's not easy. You pack your stuff, and you're gone in a heartbeat. It's gonna be different. I probably have to be a little bit of a Fabian to save [Eklund] a little bit." -- "sharks react to fabian zetterlunds departure"

Eklund, on how he found out about the Fabian Zetterlund trade: We were having a sauna. We’re taking a sauna together, and we came out of the sauna. Saw the call. Never going back there, that’s for sure. (laughs) Eklund, on how often he hung out with Zetterlund: Everyday. Eklund, on how Zetterlund helped him in his NHL career: It’s tough. It’s tough. (chokes up) -- "eklund taking zetterlund trade hard"

SO. thats sort of what we are emotionally working with . no one handled this trade well. i dont want to talk about what my dash looked like.

a large aspect of our grief came from being a team in rebuild that would explode all our good players in exhcange for young players BTW. keep this in mind. our crazy turnovers.

but. anyways. jump to present day . sharks beat reporter sheng peng fujos too close to the sun . fabian zetterlund says he misses weklund the most out of all of san jose

sharkudablr bloggers that were there for that era of shrockey lose their marbles about it a little bit. (a lot bit.)

goose pacific-coast-hockey describes the guys who were part of the transitional phase of shrockey as incubators. van puckpocketed and i get in on that fabbepreg grindset. (comment section).

i get so seized by lust that i start fantasizing about fabian zetterlund laying eggs frogstyle. i think i ought to be put down like a horse for the things that passed through my mind in regards to this.

the san jose sharks USED to be a popular NHL team on here! they were good, had a couple of very very far runs in the post season (the championship/competition arc)

however. the thing about sports is that everyone involved is a very mortal human & mortal humans age. as athletes get older past a certain point they start to see a fall off in their skills . so when a hockey teams players start getting older and produce less, other players start hopping off the ship. you only have so many years as a 20-30 year old thats good at the physically demanding thing youre paid to do. & if you want to win u gotta jump ship.

so the sharks go thru a phase where theyre slowly shedding skilled & popular & older players . the problem is that when u swap out players who are good and work well together for new guys, younger guys, worse guys. u get worse as a hockey team! & over the years, people splinter off, people follow players they like or lose interest in hockey or the NHL or whatever.

its kind of hard to like a bad hockey team. & the sharks are THE bad hockey team. experiencing record terrible hockey. theyre getting dragged out. no one looks really happy to be alive.

the NHL (& a lot of sports) have a draft, which is when young players are brought into the league (or at least are on the ledgers to possibly be joining the league) en masse. the worse u do, the higher you are on the draft order. & when u have 32 teams taking turns to draft players for 7 rounds, having a high order can mean a lot!

the san jose sharks get first dibs and they draft BIG DEAL 18 YEAR OLD BOY macklin celebrini. hes good at hockey. wow! lotta eyes on the san jose sharks, hes REALLY GOOD.

so celebrini is a big focal point before the season. & he makes friends with another young player who is just about to enter the san jose sharks, will smith (hockey player, not the actor).

& if u will allow me to be a little mean. people generally really like gravitating towards players who are attractive and easily shippable with other players. so now we have a lotta people interested in the sharks because we have these two kind of big deal players celebrini and smith. who are also involved in a lot of PR stuff so you have a lot of fluff stuff about them as people. as well as being good at hockey so theyre on the ice a lot . being big deals

& since the sharks are bad and leaving being bad, theyre bringing in a lot of new younger players in (high draft!) (we are building our core players, the guys who are good at hockey and we like having on our team for a while) . so it keeps bringing in eyes on the sharks because theyre interesting from a fandom perspective & a stats and hockey and skills perspective.