i have a pet cheetah down in my basement, i raised him, i bathed him, i farm him for chipotle sponsorships . sometimes when he does a jig silly and lackadaisical enough if you ignore his freaky dead eyed stare i toss him kernels of corn from my large roasted chili-corn salsa that i added to my burrito bowl from chipotle . this is because i dont like corn . i just like picking out the onion bits like a chicken . i am deathly allergic to onions and when i start frothing at the mouth (due to the onions) he likes to scuttle over and slup the foam off the floor . because i forget to refill his water bowl often .
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Randy Hahn (@.sharksvoice)/Twitter: On the road again with my (broadcast) partner !#drewremenda (2026.4.20)
[Video transcript: (Note: their enunciation and delivery is startlingly similar to that of a primary school play.)
Hahn: Hey Drew, are you excited to going to the Stanely Cup playoffs?
Remenda: Absolutely, it's been a long time since you and I have been able to work the playoffs!
Hahn: I've got an idea.
Remenda: What's that?
Hahn: Next year, let's do this with the Sharks.
Remenda, pointing at the camera: Macklin, are you listening?
(Hahn nods at the camera in agreement.)
san jose sharks used to have william eklund, fabian zetterlund, and mikael granlund and theyre all prettyyyy good! william eklund as the future face of the franchise and then ummm. fabian zetterlund as in the box of spare parts we got from the timo meier trade that flew under the goated radar and mikael granlund as the millstone around the pens neck that squared up exceedingly solidly as a sharks vet.
you may notice that william eklund is the only one still a shark. dont worry yet ^_^
at this time the san jose sharks roster is barely holding on. exploding from injuries, just generally NOT VERY GOOD, we still manage to scratch kevin labanc for half a season.
mostly funny is that we have a bunch of forwards with a -lund surname on our team. we dreamt of a lund^3 line.
then. THEN!!! we get william eklund and fabian zetterlund together on a line! our lund^2! sharks broadcaster tara slone calls them the swedehearts ^_^
actually just peep the shrimer on their shriendship.
we do get the lund^3 line BTW. our top line who plays great very serious hockey. fabian zetterlund says mikael granlund is like a dad to him and william eklund and mikael granlund says fabian zetterlund is a fugly hag.
WE SEND FABIAN ZETTERLUND TO OTTAWA BTW. william eklunds name goes trending on twitter after that
and like a week later its casually mentioned that fabian zetterlund and william eklund found out together. at a sauna. together. from another friend of theirs rasmus sandin calling fabian zetterlund. and they think its jokes and japes!!!! NO ONE HAD THIS ON THEIR BINGO CARD!!!
is it worth mentioning that after the trade everyone very politely understood that william eklund is the main character of this.
heres the emotional rodeo we collectively get sent on:
As far as William Eklund is concerned, the San Jose Sharks traded a literal family member in Fabian Zetterlund away.
“He’s family for me, his family is my family. We hang out. We have Christmas together,” Eklund said on Monday, after declining to speak on Saturday about the Trade Deadline deal of his best friend to the Ottawa Senators. “That’s one of the toughest days of my life.” -- "eklund on what zetterlund meant to him, being tired of losing"
"I know William's gonna get right. Right now, it's just a lot of emotions right after when it happens," Wennberg said. "The same thing with Fabian. I called him last night, and it's not easy. You pack your stuff, and you're gone in a heartbeat. It's gonna be different. I probably have to be a little bit of a Fabian to save [Eklund] a little bit." -- "sharks react to fabian zetterlunds departure"
Eklund, on how he found out about the Fabian Zetterlund trade:
We were having a sauna. We’re taking a sauna together, and we came out of the sauna. Saw the call. Never going back there, that’s for sure. (laughs)
Eklund, on how often he hung out with Zetterlund:
Everyday.
Eklund, on how Zetterlund helped him in his NHL career:
It’s tough. It’s tough. (chokes up) -- "eklund taking zetterlund trade hard"
SO. thats sort of what we are emotionally working with . no one handled this trade well. i dont want to talk about what my dash looked like.
a large aspect of our grief came from being a team in rebuild that would explode all our good players in exhcange for young players BTW. keep this in mind. our crazy turnovers.
but. anyways. jump to present day . sharks beat reporter sheng peng fujos too close to the sun . fabian zetterlund says he misses weklund the most out of all of san jose
sharkudablr bloggers that were there for that era of shrockey lose their marbles about it a little bit. (a lot bit.)
goose pacific-coast-hockey describes the guys who were part of the transitional phase of shrockey as incubators. van puckpocketed and i get in on that fabbepreg grindset. (comment section).
i get so seized by lust that i start fantasizing about fabian zetterlund laying eggs frogstyle. i think i ought to be put down like a horse for the things that passed through my mind in regards to this.
okay I was just looking at some asky highlights. the diving poke check against the avs after falling down? and the interference penalty he got against the texas stars???? incredibly funny https://x.com/AnnK_MamaOnIce/status/1786927610074640457
AnnK_ (AnnK_MamaOnIce) tweeted: Yaroslav Asakrov earns a two minute interference penalty for this move. (2024 May 4)
[Video description: Yarsolav Askarov (Milwaukee Admiral, #30, goalie) sticks his stick out as Curtis McKenzie (Texas Star, #16) rounds the net, McKenzie plows through it, effectively wrenching it out of Askarov's hands. When McKenzie comes close to the net again, Askarov barrels of net to bodily slum dunk him to the ground, kicking him for good measure. A scrum starts, officials coming in to separate players. End description.]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
any idea why the beaytiful anxious giraffe has been scratched so much? I wanna see the human worm on a string more :(
OKAY exciting news for you ^_^ sheng peng on san jose hockey now writes reports on lineups/line previews before games which often feature stuff like whos gonna be in/out or whos injured
there is ALSO an article that covers this (PAYWALLED I FEAR)
"Warsofsky on Scratching Mukhamadullin, Young Defenseman’s Confidence (+)" by Felicia Keller... should i unethically reupload this probably not??? IDK.
TL;DR: hes playing inconsistently as a young player fresh off injury & making consistent mistakes, we marinating him
DO PEOPLE KNOW WHO GIVANI SMITH IS BTW . <- jolting out of bed in cold sweat . fast loose and terrible im sorry girl
EDIT: NOW WITH LINKS. SOME AMOUNT OF LINKS.
nickname smitty! very notably maintained the nickname smitty after another smith joined our team . some guy named will smith
his dad and brother are also hockey players ! or were in his dads case
HIS DAD WHO IS FINE. HE IS JUST 80 I DONT THINK HES AN ACTIVE PLAYER
gemel smith is his brother though for the curious ^_^ was a brief period where they were both . on a team. the red wings maybe? hes with the syracuse crunch right now
WHEEE SMITH^2 ^_^
spent like. the entire last year scratched on injury . has been goin in and out the sharks roster this season for a whole SIX games played (and has been fighting for roster space with another winger who is now a third line winger so . guess who won that one.) (its klim kostin yeah)
self proclaimed locker room dj . i am very sure this was not the majority agreement . the gang gives up up for dookie (anthony duclair) (also not a shark anymore)
i think hes on his last year on his contract too ! good times
GOON . that is his thing its that he fights. dont be too surprised when he hits the ice . wheee.
when he fights its just . him and the other guy circling each other. and when they latch on they keep circling. (no video embed on the grounds that its at least supposedly a fight) yeah...
the funny part is hes not half bad at hockey
which is very notable on a team that is um. the san jose sharks
so ^_^ hi colorado! ^_^ please let him play more than 6 games
also up there in funny: just did a mass upload of sharks photos on his instagram the other night. yeah . right before the trade. do you think he did that because he knew. im not on instagram