#shleter

might be spoiler

I got so many feeling after I watched it. All my concern was here like Zack going through tough time right after he discovered he love Shawn. Personally, although it has not been to relationship, there was one point in my life where I found I have crush on one of my male friends. Probably when the thing happened, I felt same feeling Zack had when he kissed Shawn. I bet kissing a guy before he even realized he was gay was a shock to him either. I remember when I wasn't sure about my sexuality, my first real male crush was also a shock to me. I and my crush almost kissed by his joke. That moment I was just shocked and stunned, just looking at him. He said he was joke and he isn't gay. It is different to how movie led to. They finally were in relationship, but I was not. I was just thinking "do I really like him? Should I kiss him?" Yes it is just me doing nothing, but just thinking. I wish I could just do things that showed how I really felt about him at that time. But I was even not out yet to myself neither at that time.

After 9 months of long self time, I just figured I'm not straight and fell in love with a man. It was hard to accept it at first. But after managed to come out to him and tell him what I really felt does changed my life. Although he wasn't gay and doesn't feel to date me, I was still blessed to have him support my life. 

Zack considering his career preparation as artist was also the big part of the movie. He was thinking whether go to community college or Cal Art. Since the tuition fee is much expensive for Cal Art, he could not just go there, considering his family's financial problem. It is also what I am currently thinking of these days. Raised from a family who is just normal Korean family isn't as same as normal American family. We earn much less money. Tuition fee is 10 times much expensive in US than that in Korea.I am thinking about going to college in US but that would affect a lot to my family finance. This means I have to get a loan or get a lot of scholarship since I want to major in medical, psychology, which is one of the career that needs a lot of money during prepare. I feel like whether I should major in this or just have a stable job right now. Since it is much cheaper, I decided to go college in Korea and go abroad from graduate school if I really want to. But still, my thoughts are not decided full yet.