Oct 24, 2025
i want the power to exude menthol through my skin and body fluids. i want to smell like a tin of altoids wherever i go. also i'm cold to the touch and toxic to cats which makes me sad.
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i want the power to exude menthol through my skin and body fluids. i want to smell like a tin of altoids wherever i go. also i'm cold to the touch and toxic to cats which makes me sad.
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so I was thinking of what superpower I would have and I came up with this. I'm going to call it "Manifest Action"
so say I'm laying in bed. and I'm hungry. I want to satiate that hunger, so I come up with steps to accomplish that:
get out of bed
go to the kitchen
in the kitchen there is ramen, fruit, and trail mix. I don't want trail mix, so I'll have ramen and fruit
get the ramen and fruit
prepare the ramen
eat the ramen and the fruit
sucess!
and then once I've thought of all those things, I'm... still in bed, but now I feel like I'm done with the task (I've reached the last step, after all. at least mentally)
so here's where the superpower comes in: as I think through the steps of accomplishing a task, they actually happen. like, if I think "I'm going to get out of bed" then I'd actually get up out of bed.
like, think about it. wouldn't that be so cool?
and then my mom told me that normal people do that. normal people can do that but I can't. unfair!
Shitty Superpower: Match Skin
You can ignite any part of your body by striking it against a hard surface like a match. Your body is unharmed by this fire but that's it, fire still damages clothing, flammable objects you hold, anyone around you, etc like you are holding a lit match.
you always know which direction is north—because you always face north
Would you take or leave this shitty superpower: Turning into a squirrel under a cresent moon
Take it
Leave it
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Reminded again, with particularly shitty superpowers.
Me: *progressively loses a LOT of hearing right in the range where human voices fall*
Also me: *continues hearing the annoying/painful very high/low-pitched shit that most people apparently cannot hear at all, just fine* 🙃
(On top of the basic processing issues with speech, of course... ETA: And less input to work with makes that more fun!)
The main change I have noticed there over the years is that my sound location abilities have gotten much worse for all of it, so it's a lot harder to tell exactly where the same old annoying crap is coming from.
Even though it's mostly the midrange hearing that's so lopsided between ears. More hearing loss on one side will really fuck with telling where sounds are coming from, but you would think that would mostly affect the range(s) you're not hearing so well. Not so much in this case, at least. Don't quite understand how that works, but hey. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
WORST MUTANT ABILITY
I have a genetic mutation where, when the barometric pressure changes, I get migraines.
Not all the time but like today
Where it’s yo-yo’ing up and down like the fucking weather is playing goddamned jump rope and it’s humid and hot and it might thunder and lightning (very, very frighting ME) later then yeah. Fucks with my head.
It’s genetic - I said that. So I got it from my dad, my son got it from me. My oldest’s mutated so that it’s linked with HIS ASTHMA cuz who wants to be able to BREATHE when the WEATHER IS BALLS TO THE WALL NUTS?
So yeah.
My superpower is that I can always tell when the weather is changing for the worst (it’s gunna storm Margaret!) because I get a crippling migraine.
Talk about shitty ass superpowers.
Worst superpower: Mucokinesis
So I was studying pharmacology, and I found about drugs called "mucokinetic agents," and I can't get over how they sound like shitty henchmen for a mollusc-themed supervillain...